Welcome, viewers! Tonight we continue the seemingly endless march toward crowning Candice as our 12th American Idol. Last night we did rock. Tonight, someone (Lazaro or Burnell) goes home. Casey James and Carrie Underwood are also here tonight! Is Carrie contractually obligated to perform at least once a season?
The top 7 kick it off with an arrangement of Somebody to Love which sounds suspiciously like the version Glee did back when Glee was still awesome. I know, because I still have that version in heavy rotation on my iPod. Candice gets the Mercedes diva note at the end, and it is predictably awesome and OMFG WHAT ARE LAZARO'S PANTS?!
So apparently we have Ford Fiesta missions this year, and the Idols are creating looks based on their musical influences. I think Lazaro says his is Josh Groban, which... ok. In the photos, all of them look exactly like they always look, and yet this show is an hour long.
Oh goodie, it's Jimmy and his recap. This whole segment baffles me - if the producers wanted his opinion, maybe he should be an actual judge? In summary: Burnell committed a crime against Idol humanity by attempting to do a song that was one of the best Idol performances ever and sucking at it. She also rips apart Lazaro and Angie's duet. He approves of Kree. Burnell should do his homework. Janelle was competent. Lazaro was reasonable. Randy didn't know what he was talking about. Candice's performance wasn't one of her best. Amber sang What About Love (which is a ballad, right?) and she is improving every week. Angie "walked up to the podium and stood up there." Literally, he says that.
CASEY JAMES! Kara and Posh Spice cougared all over him, and it was awesome. I think my mom liked him, and maybe Lindsay's too, making him an #oldladyvote who has lady hair like Keith. Apparently he's a country artist now, proving to me that country music fans will buy anything. He's here to perform a new song. I'd like to know what produce he uses to get those curls. Also, if Kara was still a judge she'd be losing her shit over his tight shirt.
Seacrest now reveals each of the judges' top three, and I remind you again, THIS SHOW IS AN HOUR LONG. Lindsay and I agree that we'd rather watch 45 minutes of Carrie than this pointless filler. Mariah wishes she could have picked everyone for her top three, completely negating the purpose of a top three. YOU ARE A JUDGE, YOUR JOB IS TO JUDGE THEM. Ugh.
Finally, we get to some results. Kree is in the voters' top three, yay! So are Angie and... LAZARO?! What the actual fuck, America? I have a bad feeling Janelle or Candice is getting voted off tonight - I know the judges would use the save for Candice, but would they for Janelle?
Before we find out, it's time for Carrie Underwood. I love her so much. In her intro video, they neglect to mention her hot hockey player husband among all of her accolades, but that's why I'm here, to remind you. Not a big fan of the song she's singing, but she looks stunning as per usual, and she doesn't care if I like her song or not, because she'd be all, "I'm still going home to this." Touche, Underwood. Touche.
Back to results! Candice is safe, thank god. I'm so worried for Janelle. Oh, I forgot about Amber. Not nearly as worried about her, but she's safe, which leaves us Janelle and Burnell. But before we get the final result, we have another commercial break. Let's just get this over with so we can all watch New Girl, k? FINALLY, we learn that Burnell is going home, and everyone is crying, and maybe I've just been watching this show for too long and I'm jaded, but seriously guys, this is the whole point of the show. There can't be 10 winners. And besides, his performance isn't save-worthy at all. The judges agree, so buhbye Burnell.
Lazaro is the last hope for the men, and personally, I'd be thrilled with an all-female top five. We'll see what happens next week! Time for Nick Miller now... peace out!
No comments:
Post a Comment