Idol is getting extra dramatic with its intros tonight, and Lazaro is wearing his worst outfit yet. We have two themes - songs from the Burt Bacharach catalogue, aka a theme this show has done 80 times already, and songs they wish they'd written, which should hopefully get us some songs written post-1990.
Angie's fun fact is that she makes embarrassing YouTube videos. She is the geekiest musical geek ever, basically, aka me in high school. She is singing Anyone Who Had a Heart for her Bacharach song, and luckily we jump right into the music. Two songs = very little filler tonight, woohoo! It's a solid song, though quite boring, as I imagine most of the Bacharach songs will be because for the love of Simon Cowell, we are in the year 2013. The judges tell her that she has a great voice but no passion. Nicki tells her it felt old-fashioned. NO SHIT NICKI. It was written in 1963! FIFTY YEARS AGO. It is old-fashioned.
Amber eats frozen cooked shrimp out of the bag. Ew. She is singing I Say a Little Prayer. Borrrinnnngggg. I'm sorry, but no one is buying this on iTunes. She sounds great, of course, but I still just don't get Amber. There's something about her that leaves me cold and uninspired. The judges all completely lose it over her.
Lazaro's fun fact is something about being a redneck. Ok, then. He's singing (They Long to Be) Close to You. It is awful. He completely misses the key change, and even before that, it's just not good. The judges rightfully rip him apart. Please, America, put us out of this misery and send him home.
Kree likes to go to the rodeo. She is singing What the World Needs Now is Love. I can't hear this song without thinking of Austin Powers. She sings the first few bars a capella, and it is gorgeous. GORGEOUS. I actually wish she had sung the whole thing a capella, but she doesn't, and even though it's beautiful the entire way through, it would have been off the charts without the band. Anyway, Kree is awesome. The judges think so too.
I miss Janelle's fun fact, because I accidentally fast-forwarded and I'm not going back. She is singing I'll Never Fall in Love Again, which also reminds me of Austin Powers. (Legit question: have these kids ever seen Austin Powers? The first movie came out in 1997 - 16 years ago. What?!) Anyway, Janelle sounds fine, but again, the song is kind of boring. There is a nice moment where she sings to Keith, which is great. I really like her in general though and hope her second performance is more exciting. The judges are all "meh" with her.
Candice speaks some kind of weird South Carolina dialect that sounds Caribbean. She is singing Don't Make Me Over. It's just amazing. She is completely effortless, and this phenomenal thing just comes out of her mouth, and it is perfect. She's like Adele, I don't even understand. Nicki says it doesn't sound old-fashioned, and I completely agree. I've heard that song a million times, but it felt so fresh when she sang it. Just perfection.
Now we're on to the "songs I wish I'd written" portion of the evening. Angie is singing Love Came Down, and she is back at the piano where she belongs. Everything from earlier about not having emotion is null and void in this song. She's fantastic, and the song is pretty perfect for her. The judges are equally in love with it.
Amber is singing Love on Top, so finally, we get a well-known pop song from the past decade, though far from Beyonce's best. It's fine, she sounds great, but again, I'm very uninspired. Am I missing something here? Am I just so jaded from 800 seasons of this show? The judges all love her, as per usual.
Lazaro is singing Angels, by Robbie Williams, which I agree is a brilliant song. Though I feel like a lot of people have sung it on this show before. I think Lazaro is phoning it in now. It's... not great. It's much, much better than his first, but at this point the judges can't even find anything to rave about. They basically tell him he can't compare to any of the girls. I'm worried his Archuleta-ness is going to keep him around - aka the tweens will vote for him because they feel bad he's been ripped apart.
Kree is next with Help Me Make it Through the Night. I don't know this song, but it sounds so flawless and natural. I don't listen to country, but she has one of those classically country songs that I imagine from the good ol' days before people like Taylor Swift came along. Seriously, she and Candice are just on a different level. Mariah actually gives her an incredible compliment when she says she had to sing that song once, but Kree sang it the way the song is meant to be sung. Coming from Mariah, I think that's the highest praise you can get.
So my DVR inexplicably skips over Janelle's entire performance and goes right to the judges, so I have to find it online. She is doing The Dance, by Garth Brooks, which is one of the few Garth Brooks songs I know (I don't do country), but also one of the most beautiful, I think. It's not her best performance. Keith suggests an arrangement with just her and her guitar, which I agree could have been something special.
Finally, in the pimp spot we have Candice, who is singing Love Song, by the Cure. It's an incredible song just by itself, but what Candice does with it is so amazing that I seriously don't have words to describe it. Just go watch it for yourself. (P.S. the Randy reaction shots are phenomenal.)
Phew! So that's that. Who should go home: Lazaro, without a doubt. Who will go home: I'm afraid it will be Janelle or Amber, since both were overshadowed by their fellow female competitors. Lindsay will take you through the results, which really should just say they're canceling the rest of the competition and giving this thing to Candice.
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