Welcome, faithful readers. We've made it! I'm actually kind of looking forward to this debacle tonight, if only to hear Pants on the Ground one more time. This... is American Idol!
Wow, Chicago was a great audition city. I catch a glimpse of Katelyn along with our two finalists. (Katelyn was so robbed, you guys. I'm still pissed.) - HOLD UP PEOPLE MIKE FISHER IS HERE WITH CARRIE!!! MIKE YOU'RE SO HOT. CALL ME. - Anyways.The judges! I think Randy Jackson invaded Don Cherry's closet. Kara looks good. Tonight is the last night for Simon. So sad.
So for tonight's wardrobe theme, Idol has chosen "rejects from Hogwarts and/or the Constance Billard School for Girls." Let me just say, the look definitely works for Lee. Not so much for Aaron. Hey, it's your top 12 singing School's Out in the style of Glee, which sucks, because Glee would've done this so much better. Ok, now there's a creepy children's choir and ... Alice Cooper? Wow, already pulling out the stops tonight. Not even 10 minutes in the show and we've got pyrotechnics. This kinda rules. And Mike Fisher sighting #2! This is gonna be a good night.
Kris is here! I need to get his album still. Anyone have it? I think I like this song, which is called The Truth. Wow, did he always look this at ease as a performer? I think that's what was missing this year. Al and Kris and Adam always looked so comfortable. Kris, MSHBB loves you! Was that Kim Caldwell?
And our first tribute to Simon Cowell. Simon's hair used to be so fluffy. Hey, Paula! My all-time favorite Simonism might be when he told the girl that she sounded like a cat falling off the Empire State Building. Oh man, this show can not go on without him.
Siobhan & Aaron duet on How Deep is Your Love. Wow, they sound fantastic. I wish Siobhan hadn't crashed and burned so fast. And then... the Bee Gees appear! Barry effing Gibb! Talkin bout crazy cool medallions, people. When I'm watching these finales, I always wonder what the process is for planning the performances. Do they sit in a boardroom and just shout out names? (Aww, Jordin is singing with Matty G! I love all the old Idols in the audience tonight.) AND THE HOFF IS THERE! Yesss. Remember when he cried? I think it was the Davids year.
Big Mike is back, reminding me of all the ways he annoyed me this year. He's singing Takin it to the Streets with Michael McDonald. My general thoughts on this.
Apparently Dane Cook is here next, putting Simon's best critiques to music. And then, good Lord, it is our national nightmare appearing on stage before us. The Brittenum twins, spirits still broken. Norman effing Gentle. The I am your brother guy. Tatiana. I think this all goes awry because they cut to commercial very quickly. That's what happens when you bring all the freaks back at once, Idol.
Lacey starts out singing Beautiful, joined by the rest of the girls. Didi looks hot, yo. They mostly sound terrible though, aside from Siobhan & Crystal. Hey, remember Katelyn? They move into Fighter, which sounds a million times better. Siobhan is rocking some cut out legging things, and girl looks fierce. And here's Christina, putting all these amateurs to shame. She sings some slow, sleepy song instead of the kick-ass Not Myself Tonight, but sounds gorgeous as usual. I still laugh about how everyone who knew her in high school said she smelled like hot dogs. Leanne, was that you?
Ricky Gervais bids farewell to Simon, which is funny. The boys are up next, singing a medley of the songs that played on the radio station your mom listened to when you were growing up. This performance is presented to you by Tim Urban's arms. And then Hall & Oates sing that song that will forever & always make me thing only of (500) Days of Summer. I know I say this every year, but seriously Idol? Some relevant performers please?
Seacrest talks to Crystal's dad, who is wearing what appears to be a leather vest and leather cap. He is so cool. Crystal is singing Ironic, which suits her perfectly. She's totally rocking this. And Alanis is there!!! Yessss. And now she's singing You Outta Know. OMG, this is fantastic. My inner 13 year old is rocking out right now. I submit this for your consideration as best Idol finale duet ever. Any other contenders? Elliott and Mary J, perhaps?
The soon to be Mrs. Fisher is up next. Damn, she looks smokin. I want to be her. OMG, her fiddle player is wearing a top hat. This is great and all, but please show Mike again. I'm not settling for less than five Mike Fisher sightings tonight. Carrie rocks that song. I love her.
Awww, Kris and Lee are in the same room. That room is going to explode because of all the cuteness. Crystal and Lee get their FORDS!!! And, of course, one last FORD! commercial. Wouldn't be Idol without it.
Casey and his bad perm and flannel shirt are singing Every Rose Has Its Thorn. OMG, if there is a God, Bret Michaels is going to appear. AND HE IS!!! Pittsburgh is rocking this finale tonight, yo. Bret, we love you. This just went from awful to awesome real fast. And Casey looks like he's having a blast. That was fantastic. A+ on the duets so far tonight. I hope Lee doesn't get someone shitty.
And Lee gets stuck with... Chicago. Because he's from Chicago, I guess? Fail, Idol. Casey gets Bret effing Michaels and Lee gets Chicago? I was holding out hope that they flew in Dave Matthews for a duet of Crash Into Me, but I guess I'll have to settle for this instead. Hey, Aunt Becky is here! Oh noooooooo. Matt Rogers is the Idol reject they sent to Lee's hometown. I. HATED. Matt Rogers.
Another vignette on Simon's flirting. It's mildly amusing, but I think they did that just to have an excuse to show Bikini Girl again.
YESSSSSS. It is General Larry Platt. PANTS. ON. THE. GROUND. With backup dancers. Damn, the General can move. I love him. I love this. And then William Hung appears. And he is also rapping Pants on the Ground. Wow, I have no idea what just happened but it was kind of awesome.
Paula is here!!! We miss you Paula!!! And I think Simon is actually caught on camera saying "she looks good." Ha. She does. She rambles on & on about Simon, which gets a little awkward. Paula isn't as drunk as usual, but there's no way she's sober. Think about this rambling when it's 10:15 and we still don't know who won. They do a video montage next, which actually makes me really sad. Don't go, Simon!!!
And then Kelly struts out. And Ruuuuben!!!! And Fantasia!! And Carrie!! Oooh this is awesome. Jordin!! Taylor. Yikes. Kris!!! Where is Cookster??? And then a million past Idols from all the past seasons trot out - Blake, Justin Guarini, Michael Johns, Constantine, Archuleta, Elliott, Allison, Kim Caldwell. This is fantastic. And now I'm crying. Shit. When you ask me why I can't quit this show, I'll go back to this right here. But seriously, where is David Cook? And Jennifer Hudson? And Clay Aiken? I suppose people are bizzay, but if you're gonna do it, do it up. That was awesome anyways.
The next random guest of the evening is Janet Jackson. With a buzz cut. Her performance is generally boring, so I'll tell you about the day Michael Jackson died. Linds & I were at the spa, and there were all these conflicting reports so we weren't sure, was he dead or not dead, until we got in the car to go home and the DJ was playing a megamix of every MJ song that had ever existed. Then I think we watched CNN for the next four days straight. And OMG, Janet is still singing. She stops the boring song at least and we finally get some old school kick ass Janet dancing. OH YOU NASTY BOY. Paula should be out there dancing.
Flashback to Lee & Crystal's auditions. Remember when we didn't want Lee to get through because his name was hard to type? Sorry about that, Lee. At least we didn't think you were a pervert like Cookster. Awww, they're singing I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends. How many pairs of Converse sneakers do you think Lee has? And then Joe Cocker appears, ruining the whole damn thing. I think the average age of the performers tonight has been 68. Lee still maintains an aura of awesomeness throughout, though.
Annnnd...... results time! Lee looks like he's going to pass out. He's crying already. This is adorable. And your winner is..... LEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! Man, there have been upsets three years running. This is fantastic, he is so genuinely ecstatic. This is why this damn show sucks us back in, year after year.
So we say we're quitting next year... so this should be the last entry of MSHBB. It's been a blast! MSHBB... out.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
It's the FINAL COUNTDOWN!
Do do do dooooo! Do do do do doooo! I can't believe we finally made it. At the beginning of the season, it felt like we'd never get here, for real. The top 24 was ROUGH. And also, I said I hoped Lee would be out the first week because his name was annoying to type. Sorry buddy!
Obligatory opening montage with Lee and Crystal's audition videos, talking about being the next American Idol. Blah blah blah, it all comes down to THIS, yadda yadda. I think it's cute how Ryan's always like "My name is Ryan Seacrest"--way to keep it real, Ry.
Simon's busted out the blazer, as he is wont to do on finale night and IGFB night. Weird entrance from the audience for Lee and Crystal, I think there was a technical difficulty there. Three rounds tonight--contestant's choice (favorite of the season), Simon Fuller's choice, and the cornation song. Barftastic. Crystal won the coin toss and picked to go second, so after the break, we get Leeeeeeeee!!
Interview with Lee's cute parents. LOL and baseball card pictures. I love his parents. I think they just seem so normal and cool. His choice for tonight is "The Boxer", from effing Inspirational songs week. It's kind of hard to critique stuff they've already done. Lee looks smokin' tonight. I loved this when he did it in inspiration week, and it's good tonight, but isn't really WOW. It's kind of a sleepy song. Hopefully he rocks out with whatever Fuller chose, because you know the cornation is gonna be lame.
Interview with Crystal's sweet dad. Really awkward pics of past Crystal, LOL. Tonight she picked to redo"Me and Bobby McGee" from Billboard 100 week. I don't remember this performance, sadly. Sorry CBow! Same with Crystal here...she sounds awesome, but I don't really know if this song is killer. This is probably gonna be the theme all night though, because both these contestants are that "coffee house" grungy kind of sound. There's no Glambert here with platform boots and spiky costumes to blow the roof off the joint.
After the break, we've got Lee doing Simon Fuller's choice. What happened to old Clive Davis? He hasn't been around since two years ago, when he made one of the Davids sing "Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me" for the fourth year in a row. GOD, Clive.
Anyway, "Everybody Hurts" for Lee...seriously? This reminds me of that ep of the Office when Dwight was mad that Michael liked Ryan better, so he sat in his car and listened to this. I love Lee so bad, but I am not feeling this. He actually went kind of flat in the middle there, ouch. Lee totally got the shaft from Simon Fuller. BOOOOO. I disagree with Simon that this was a brilliant song choice. I'm sorry, but I think this song is so whiny. REM fans, go ahead and bash me.
Fuller chose "Black Velvet" for Crystal. I mean, could these picks get any more trite? Simon Fuller sucks. I mean, Crystal will probably work the hell out of this song, but it's just so....blech. She starts out Lambert-style on the stairs all lit up in red. I like this better than her first song, but this song...God. Simon tells her she nailed it, which is technically true. She brought it this round fo sho. I just wish they had picked something less lame for her to nail. That probably makes no sense.
Coronation round. I wonder if they are singing the same one this year? Some years I think it's the same and other years it's different. OK, I'm lost. So he's not singing some lame song that someone wrote? He'll release U2's "Beautiful Day"? Idol's changin' it up! He sounds pretty great, finally, but I'm still all confuzzled about the change in plans LOL. He finished strong at least, that was really awesome. I still love you Lee!
So WTF is Crystal going to sing then? This show has turned me upside down! She's doing "Up the the Mountain." I don't know this song. I Googled it, apparently Susan Boyle has covered it, as has KClarkson. Crystal is working it. The song sounds awesome, and she's really into it. Her voice is so super great, guys. I mean, based on tonight, she totally deserves to win. I enjoy both of them, and I do love Lee, but I think Crystal may have edged him tonight.
We end tonight with a "tribute" to this season sung by Will Young, who won something British. Oh okay, his song was the goodbye song every Wednesday, got it. LOL. I think it's called "Leave Right Now." Hey, the top 12 is back on stage! Sup guys?
Tomorrow is going to be really interesting! And this is my last blog posting, I just realized! We're going to shut 'er down after this season, because let's face it, it's gonna suck when Simon's gone. Tomorrow night we have our YOOOOGE finale, and Bren will take you through the results! It's been a pleasure blogging for all of you--Lindsay OUT.
Obligatory opening montage with Lee and Crystal's audition videos, talking about being the next American Idol. Blah blah blah, it all comes down to THIS, yadda yadda. I think it's cute how Ryan's always like "My name is Ryan Seacrest"--way to keep it real, Ry.
Simon's busted out the blazer, as he is wont to do on finale night and IGFB night. Weird entrance from the audience for Lee and Crystal, I think there was a technical difficulty there. Three rounds tonight--contestant's choice (favorite of the season), Simon Fuller's choice, and the cornation song. Barftastic. Crystal won the coin toss and picked to go second, so after the break, we get Leeeeeeeee!!
Interview with Lee's cute parents. LOL and baseball card pictures. I love his parents. I think they just seem so normal and cool. His choice for tonight is "The Boxer", from effing Inspirational songs week. It's kind of hard to critique stuff they've already done. Lee looks smokin' tonight. I loved this when he did it in inspiration week, and it's good tonight, but isn't really WOW. It's kind of a sleepy song. Hopefully he rocks out with whatever Fuller chose, because you know the cornation is gonna be lame.
Interview with Crystal's sweet dad. Really awkward pics of past Crystal, LOL. Tonight she picked to redo"Me and Bobby McGee" from Billboard 100 week. I don't remember this performance, sadly. Sorry CBow! Same with Crystal here...she sounds awesome, but I don't really know if this song is killer. This is probably gonna be the theme all night though, because both these contestants are that "coffee house" grungy kind of sound. There's no Glambert here with platform boots and spiky costumes to blow the roof off the joint.
After the break, we've got Lee doing Simon Fuller's choice. What happened to old Clive Davis? He hasn't been around since two years ago, when he made one of the Davids sing "Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me" for the fourth year in a row. GOD, Clive.
Anyway, "Everybody Hurts" for Lee...seriously? This reminds me of that ep of the Office when Dwight was mad that Michael liked Ryan better, so he sat in his car and listened to this. I love Lee so bad, but I am not feeling this. He actually went kind of flat in the middle there, ouch. Lee totally got the shaft from Simon Fuller. BOOOOO. I disagree with Simon that this was a brilliant song choice. I'm sorry, but I think this song is so whiny. REM fans, go ahead and bash me.
Fuller chose "Black Velvet" for Crystal. I mean, could these picks get any more trite? Simon Fuller sucks. I mean, Crystal will probably work the hell out of this song, but it's just so....blech. She starts out Lambert-style on the stairs all lit up in red. I like this better than her first song, but this song...God. Simon tells her she nailed it, which is technically true. She brought it this round fo sho. I just wish they had picked something less lame for her to nail. That probably makes no sense.
Coronation round. I wonder if they are singing the same one this year? Some years I think it's the same and other years it's different. OK, I'm lost. So he's not singing some lame song that someone wrote? He'll release U2's "Beautiful Day"? Idol's changin' it up! He sounds pretty great, finally, but I'm still all confuzzled about the change in plans LOL. He finished strong at least, that was really awesome. I still love you Lee!
So WTF is Crystal going to sing then? This show has turned me upside down! She's doing "Up the the Mountain." I don't know this song. I Googled it, apparently Susan Boyle has covered it, as has KClarkson. Crystal is working it. The song sounds awesome, and she's really into it. Her voice is so super great, guys. I mean, based on tonight, she totally deserves to win. I enjoy both of them, and I do love Lee, but I think Crystal may have edged him tonight.
We end tonight with a "tribute" to this season sung by Will Young, who won something British. Oh okay, his song was the goodbye song every Wednesday, got it. LOL. I think it's called "Leave Right Now." Hey, the top 12 is back on stage! Sup guys?
Tomorrow is going to be really interesting! And this is my last blog posting, I just realized! We're going to shut 'er down after this season, because let's face it, it's gonna suck when Simon's gone. Tomorrow night we have our YOOOOGE finale, and Bren will take you through the results! It's been a pleasure blogging for all of you--Lindsay OUT.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Talent FTW!
I got home a little late tonight & didn't get to rewind, but I highly doubt I missed anything more than a dramatic opening montage & Seacrest being all "BIGGEST MOMENT OF THEIR LIVES BEST SEASON EVER BLAAAAAH THIS.............. is American Idol." I turn it on just in time to see the FORD! video. Wow, I'm glad these shows are an hour.
Casey goes home to Texas. Apparently there are women aside from Kara that find him attractive. Who knew. He goes to his high school, which I'm pretty sure is the high school from Varsity Blues. Some girls chase his limo. Oh, girls, you're so adorable. Casey next goes to the hospital where he went after he was in a terrible accident. The doctors and nurses are like, can you please let us do our job? We voted for Lee.
Something called a Travis Garland is on performing his new single. Oh that's right, the BEIBER is on tonight. I hope I didn't miss him. The Garland is dancing and there's a split screen and this song really sucks.
Crystal goes home. Sorry, I don't actually pay the tiniest bit of attention to her segment. I'm sure it's lovely and there is crying and lots of general Ohio-ness, but I get a phone call and I'm watching on the non-DVR TV. Sorry, bloggers.
Lee goes home. He throws out the first pitch at a Cubs game. Lee, honey, I hope you're not a Blackhawks fan. We will have issues if you are, because I can't date a guy who cheers for Marian Hossa. We'll have to work on that. ;) Anyways, fantasy world is over. Lee gets super emotional and visits his paint store and his elementary school and people generally love him just like Lindsay & I love him. He is so freaking adorable.
BEIBER!! Why is he so appealing? No, really. Someone please tell me, because I love him and I have no idea why.
Finally, results time.
Thank God. Seriously, people, I was gonna quit this show if it was any other result. There is no way in hell that Casey should even be considered in the same breath as my boy Lee and our girl Crystal. Talent triumphs over really bad hair! Crystal pretty much attacks Lee after her name is announced. Awww, they're besties. Casey sings. He sucks. I don't care. I think he steals a small child from someone in the audience.
So next week we have the big finale. Somewhere along the line I started caring about this show again and loving Lee and dammit Idol, I wanted to quit you after this season. Oh well, this is what this show does, year after year. Lee DeWyze FTW!
Casey goes home to Texas. Apparently there are women aside from Kara that find him attractive. Who knew. He goes to his high school, which I'm pretty sure is the high school from Varsity Blues. Some girls chase his limo. Oh, girls, you're so adorable. Casey next goes to the hospital where he went after he was in a terrible accident. The doctors and nurses are like, can you please let us do our job? We voted for Lee.
Something called a Travis Garland is on performing his new single. Oh that's right, the BEIBER is on tonight. I hope I didn't miss him. The Garland is dancing and there's a split screen and this song really sucks.
Crystal goes home. Sorry, I don't actually pay the tiniest bit of attention to her segment. I'm sure it's lovely and there is crying and lots of general Ohio-ness, but I get a phone call and I'm watching on the non-DVR TV. Sorry, bloggers.
Lee goes home. He throws out the first pitch at a Cubs game. Lee, honey, I hope you're not a Blackhawks fan. We will have issues if you are, because I can't date a guy who cheers for Marian Hossa. We'll have to work on that. ;) Anyways, fantasy world is over. Lee gets super emotional and visits his paint store and his elementary school and people generally love him just like Lindsay & I love him. He is so freaking adorable.
BEIBER!! Why is he so appealing? No, really. Someone please tell me, because I love him and I have no idea why.
Finally, results time.
LEE AND CRYSTAL LEE AND CRYSTAL LEE AND CRYSTAL WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Thank God. Seriously, people, I was gonna quit this show if it was any other result. There is no way in hell that Casey should even be considered in the same breath as my boy Lee and our girl Crystal. Talent triumphs over really bad hair! Crystal pretty much attacks Lee after her name is announced. Awww, they're besties. Casey sings. He sucks. I don't care. I think he steals a small child from someone in the audience.
So next week we have the big finale. Somewhere along the line I started caring about this show again and loving Lee and dammit Idol, I wanted to quit you after this season. Oh well, this is what this show does, year after year. Lee DeWyze FTW!
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Top threeeeeee! I can't believe we're finally here. Who would have ever thought Casey would slip under the radar and make it to the final three, seriously? Bad perm and denim on denim and all. THIS is American Idol!
So tonight our top three are singing two songs. One is their choice, one is the judges' choice. I guess they didn't bother to unfreeze Clive Davis this year for him to make a pick? Even though I think every year he picks something like "I Believe I Can Fly" for someone. So in short: not really missing Clive this year.
Casey's up first. He chose "OK, It's All Right With Me" by Eric Hutchinson. I have no idea what this song sounds like, or who Eric Hutchinson is. He's wearing a shirt that looks like bad 70's drapes under his blazer, woof. I don't actually hate this. It's okay, but not really fabulous . But obviously, Casey's not my favorite, so I don't LOVE it. The judges all hated it, and you can tell by the lack of boos coming from the audience that they all agree with them.
Crystal's up next. She chose "Come to My Window" by Melissa Ethridge. OK, I love this song, and I think it's a good choice for Crystal and she'll nail it, but it's been a little overdone on this show. That said, I'm expecting something great from her. It's predictably awesome. A little subdued, but that's pretty much Crystal. She's so radio ready, the competition is just moot at this point. She sounds the best on the bridge. That's my favorite part of the song anyway LOL. The judges' feedback = kind of weak. Is everyone just phoning it in now? Even Crystal and Casey seemed over it.
Lee's in the pimp spot, as he should be. Sidebar: Brenna and I went back to try to pinpoint when we fell in love with Lee, and we determined it was the week he sang "Treat Her Like a Lady"--I know you were all dying to know that. ANYWAY, Lee looks like he doesn't quite know what to make of all the women screaming at him, which is adorable. He's singing Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Simple Man." AWESOME song choice. Really really dope. Go, Lee. And I just saw a sign that said "Lee is DeWyze Choice" and it made me LOL. This is phenominal. He looks like a total rock star right now. Raves all around from the judges. Hell yes, Lee.
Round two is judges' choice. The spoilers for these songs have been all over the internet for a week now, but I'll pretend like I didn't know anything. Last week, Casey went to Texas. And got his texted song choice in front of an AT&T store. Nice placement, show. Randy and Kara picked the song for Casey and they chose "Daughters" by John Mayer. Wouldn't this song totally have been appropriate for Big Mike? LOL. This is actually the best I think his voice has sounded in a while. He doesn't look totally comfortable, but he sounds pretty good, I think.
Up next is Crystal's trip home to Ohio. She also got her text in front of an AT&T store, from "Ellen", and she picked "Maybe I'm Amazed" by Paul McCartney. Good song! Her voice sounds really pretty at the beginning, really clear and pure and not all raspy. I know that's her thing and her sound but it's nice to hear her open up with something a little sweeter. No guitar for her this round. Wow, she is killing this. Good choice, Ellen, and good job Crystal!!! I mean, seriously, if the final two isn't Lee and Crystal, there's something wrong.
Finally, we get to see Lee back home in Illinois. And let me guess, he got his text from Simon in front of an AT&T store? That's so annoying, gawd. Anyway, Simon picked Jeff Buckley's "Hallelujah," which is interesting, since it's already been done once this season, and has been done many times over the course of the show. Come on, Lee. Let's do this. Knock it out of the park. Wow, he gets a backup choir??? Awesome. I love love love love this. He changes the song juuuust enough to make it his. I may or may not have had an emotional experience watching this performance. I'm not going to disclose that. OMG and Lee's totally crying. See, it's shit like this that makes me keep coming back to this show, no matter how much I bitch about it.
So obviously, Lee and Crystal deserve to be in the final two. I mean, mad props to Casey for getting as far as he did. I didn't hate him, but his time is up. I'm going to vote for the first time this season. LEE FTW. Brenna will have your results tomorrow night which include BIEBER FEVER, hahahaha. Yessssss. Nice job, tonight, gang!
So tonight our top three are singing two songs. One is their choice, one is the judges' choice. I guess they didn't bother to unfreeze Clive Davis this year for him to make a pick? Even though I think every year he picks something like "I Believe I Can Fly" for someone. So in short: not really missing Clive this year.
Casey's up first. He chose "OK, It's All Right With Me" by Eric Hutchinson. I have no idea what this song sounds like, or who Eric Hutchinson is. He's wearing a shirt that looks like bad 70's drapes under his blazer, woof. I don't actually hate this. It's okay, but not really fabulous . But obviously, Casey's not my favorite, so I don't LOVE it. The judges all hated it, and you can tell by the lack of boos coming from the audience that they all agree with them.
Crystal's up next. She chose "Come to My Window" by Melissa Ethridge. OK, I love this song, and I think it's a good choice for Crystal and she'll nail it, but it's been a little overdone on this show. That said, I'm expecting something great from her. It's predictably awesome. A little subdued, but that's pretty much Crystal. She's so radio ready, the competition is just moot at this point. She sounds the best on the bridge. That's my favorite part of the song anyway LOL. The judges' feedback = kind of weak. Is everyone just phoning it in now? Even Crystal and Casey seemed over it.
Lee's in the pimp spot, as he should be. Sidebar: Brenna and I went back to try to pinpoint when we fell in love with Lee, and we determined it was the week he sang "Treat Her Like a Lady"--I know you were all dying to know that. ANYWAY, Lee looks like he doesn't quite know what to make of all the women screaming at him, which is adorable. He's singing Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Simple Man." AWESOME song choice. Really really dope. Go, Lee. And I just saw a sign that said "Lee is DeWyze Choice" and it made me LOL. This is phenominal. He looks like a total rock star right now. Raves all around from the judges. Hell yes, Lee.
Round two is judges' choice. The spoilers for these songs have been all over the internet for a week now, but I'll pretend like I didn't know anything. Last week, Casey went to Texas. And got his texted song choice in front of an AT&T store. Nice placement, show. Randy and Kara picked the song for Casey and they chose "Daughters" by John Mayer. Wouldn't this song totally have been appropriate for Big Mike? LOL. This is actually the best I think his voice has sounded in a while. He doesn't look totally comfortable, but he sounds pretty good, I think.
Up next is Crystal's trip home to Ohio. She also got her text in front of an AT&T store, from "Ellen", and she picked "Maybe I'm Amazed" by Paul McCartney. Good song! Her voice sounds really pretty at the beginning, really clear and pure and not all raspy. I know that's her thing and her sound but it's nice to hear her open up with something a little sweeter. No guitar for her this round. Wow, she is killing this. Good choice, Ellen, and good job Crystal!!! I mean, seriously, if the final two isn't Lee and Crystal, there's something wrong.
Finally, we get to see Lee back home in Illinois. And let me guess, he got his text from Simon in front of an AT&T store? That's so annoying, gawd. Anyway, Simon picked Jeff Buckley's "Hallelujah," which is interesting, since it's already been done once this season, and has been done many times over the course of the show. Come on, Lee. Let's do this. Knock it out of the park. Wow, he gets a backup choir??? Awesome. I love love love love this. He changes the song juuuust enough to make it his. I may or may not have had an emotional experience watching this performance. I'm not going to disclose that. OMG and Lee's totally crying. See, it's shit like this that makes me keep coming back to this show, no matter how much I bitch about it.
So obviously, Lee and Crystal deserve to be in the final two. I mean, mad props to Casey for getting as far as he did. I didn't hate him, but his time is up. I'm going to vote for the first time this season. LEE FTW. Brenna will have your results tomorrow night which include BIEBER FEVER, hahahaha. Yessssss. Nice job, tonight, gang!
Thursday, May 13, 2010
So long, Big Mike.
Results show time! This will be the quickest blog ever because we were too busy last night getting our hearts ripped out by French Canadians and today I've got stuff to do, yo. You're stuck with me today because of DVR issues for our dear Ms. Beck.
Tonight we have Daughtry (woo!), Bon Jovi (woo!), and Fantasia (one of these things is not like the other). Fantasia is up first. Was never a fan, fast-forward.
So this is an important week because the top 3 get to go visit home. Cue the montage of hometown visits by past Idols!! Aw, hi Kris! Hi Carrie! Hi Cookster! Hi Elliott! Ew, Soul Patrol. Hi Jordin! Go away, Archuleta. Hi again Elliott!!!! I heart you. Ew, Gokey. Awwww Ruuuuuuuben. Aw, Cookster crying. Bo crying. Fantasia crying. Everyone crying. Elliott's mom! Love her. BLAKE! I miss you. Hi Clay, when you weren't obnoxious and weird!
Seacrest talks to everyone about being home. Fast forward. The contestants' families are on stage. That's a little sick, Idol. Ha. I feel bad for the family who's gonna be bawling in front of everyone on national tv.
Results time. Damn, Lee, when did you get so hot? Our first member of the top 3 is... Casey. Cougars everywhere rejoice.
DAUGHTRY. I don't know this song. I need to buy his new album, anyone have it? Worth it? I like this song. Daughtry sounds awesome. Hey America, remember how Taylor Hicks won that season? And Katherine McPhee was runner up? HOW DID THAT HAPPEN???? Also, can someone please put together an Idol alum tour consisting of Daughtry, Cookster, Kris, & Lee? Thanks. Also, can we discuss how short he is? He's Seacrest short.
More results. The next member of our top 3 is... LEE!!! WOOOOOOOO. Our boy is headed home to Chicago. Hey Lee, pass along a message to Marian Hossa for us & tell him to suck it. Thanks. Also, Lee's parents are adorable.
BON JOVI. Still awesome after all these years.
And the final results. Seriously, when did Lee get SO HOT? We close out our top 3 with Crystal, which, THANK GOD, we would have seriously shut this blog down if it wasn't her. Mike is going home, finally. We already tried sending him home weeks ago. He joins the legacy of Danny Gokey as someone who we loved at first and eventually became the most annoying contestant of the season.
So there's your top 3, folks. Pencil in Lee & Crystal for the finale. Almost there! Woo! Time for me to graduate! Bye.
Tonight we have Daughtry (woo!), Bon Jovi (woo!), and Fantasia (one of these things is not like the other). Fantasia is up first. Was never a fan, fast-forward.
So this is an important week because the top 3 get to go visit home. Cue the montage of hometown visits by past Idols!! Aw, hi Kris! Hi Carrie! Hi Cookster! Hi Elliott! Ew, Soul Patrol. Hi Jordin! Go away, Archuleta. Hi again Elliott!!!! I heart you. Ew, Gokey. Awwww Ruuuuuuuben. Aw, Cookster crying. Bo crying. Fantasia crying. Everyone crying. Elliott's mom! Love her. BLAKE! I miss you. Hi Clay, when you weren't obnoxious and weird!
Seacrest talks to everyone about being home. Fast forward. The contestants' families are on stage. That's a little sick, Idol. Ha. I feel bad for the family who's gonna be bawling in front of everyone on national tv.
Results time. Damn, Lee, when did you get so hot? Our first member of the top 3 is... Casey. Cougars everywhere rejoice.
DAUGHTRY. I don't know this song. I need to buy his new album, anyone have it? Worth it? I like this song. Daughtry sounds awesome. Hey America, remember how Taylor Hicks won that season? And Katherine McPhee was runner up? HOW DID THAT HAPPEN???? Also, can someone please put together an Idol alum tour consisting of Daughtry, Cookster, Kris, & Lee? Thanks. Also, can we discuss how short he is? He's Seacrest short.
More results. The next member of our top 3 is... LEE!!! WOOOOOOOO. Our boy is headed home to Chicago. Hey Lee, pass along a message to Marian Hossa for us & tell him to suck it. Thanks. Also, Lee's parents are adorable.
BON JOVI. Still awesome after all these years.
And the final results. Seriously, when did Lee get SO HOT? We close out our top 3 with Crystal, which, THANK GOD, we would have seriously shut this blog down if it wasn't her. Mike is going home, finally. We already tried sending him home weeks ago. He joins the legacy of Danny Gokey as someone who we loved at first and eventually became the most annoying contestant of the season.
So there's your top 3, folks. Pencil in Lee & Crystal for the finale. Almost there! Woo! Time for me to graduate! Bye.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
"What's Free Willy about? Is it about a willy?"
The end is near! Two weeks from tomorrow, Idol 2010 will be crowned. If at any point in time before that night Lee or Crystal is sent packing, we're closing up this blog early and quitting this show altogether. This... is American Idol.
Your top 4 are singing songs from the movies with Jamie Foxx, who as I recall was not that great of a mentor the first time around, but whatev.We get one individual performance from each and two duets, so yay for double DeWeezy tonight! Let's get this party started. Jamie is here with some shirts that say "contestant" and "artist" and apparently he's giving these to the four performers tonight? He rambles along with Seacrest for awhile, and we'll all remember this at 9:05 when they're still singing and delaying Glee.
Lee is up first!!! My boy is singing Kiss From A Rose. Jamie actually references the Gokey during his mentoring session, which makes me want to throw something at my TV. It's really not the best song choice, and his performance is not the best he's ever done. In fact, it's not all that great, but... OMG, is that a smile? And did he just look into the camera? Is Lee actually looking comfortable on stage right now? The judges didn't like it. Lee looks sad. Is he a little teary? OMG I want to give him a hug. Call us Lee! We're still voting for you.
Mike is next, singing...... the flipping Free Willy song. Of all the songs available, he chooses the song from FREE FREAKING WILLY. I can not take this seriously. He's becoming the reincarnation of Danny Gokey inside a large black man. Oh no, now the backup singers are marching down the stairs and I feel like I'm trapped inside an SNL parody of a Glee performance. That. sucked. really. really. bad. And then Simon actually literally asks what Free Willy is about, which then leads to one of the funniest exchanges I've ever seen on this show and kinda makes me forget just how much I hate Mike now.
Our first duet of the evening belongs to Lee & Crystal. Please please please, guys, rock my world.
And world sufficiently rocked. They sing Falling Slowly, which is a song I absolutely freaking ADORE, and it is AMAZING, and they are both PHENOMENAL, and I am literally speechless right now. I have legit goosebumps. Ok, let me try to formulate actual sentences... basically, the song is a gorgeous song to begin with, and both of them sounded perfect, and their voices matched each other perfectly, and I might have been imagining being Crystal and what it would be like for Lee to serenade me just a little bit. Seriously, wow. The show can just end right now.
Instead we have Casey singing Mrs. Robinson. Ugh, this is such a let down after Crystal & Lee. It's like going from the juiciest tastiest steak you've ever had to a McDonald's hamburger. And he has a ukelele. And we're back to Kara being a cougar and lots of inappropriate conversation. I'm so over him. I'd rather Mike go home, but I'd definitely be ok with Casey and his bad perm instead.
Crystal is singing the song from Caddy Shack. I love her for that. What more can I say about Crystal? She sounded amazing as usual, and I actually really loved that song for her. And she looked and sounded like she was having fun. Again, it's not the best Crystal performance I've ever seen, but apparently Crystal's boyfriend enjoys wearing American flag printed MC Hammer pants, so bonus points for that.
In the pimp spot is Mike & Casey singing Have You Ever Loved a Woman. Of course. Because Mike can't pass up a song about love and women and all that BS. Casey sounds like a goat. Mike tries to make love to his guitar and fails miserably. They "hit" an absolutely atrocious note in there somewhere along the way and I really just wish it was Lee & Crystal were in the pimp spot instead of this disaster. The judges all fall all over it though, except for Ellen, who offers no critique except for, "why yes, I actually have loved a woman."
So to wrap it up, Lee was a little subpar on his own but made absolute magic with Crystal. My annoyance with Mike reached new levels. Casey wouldn't be here if Kara didn't want to jump his bones. Crystal rocked as usual. Let's just vote off Mike & Casey right now and have the finale we're all waiting for next week. And also, Lee needs to come to Amherst and serenade me, stat.
Tomorrow night = BON JOVI and DAUGHTRY. Lindsay will be trying to remain coherent and blog that for you. Good night!
Your top 4 are singing songs from the movies with Jamie Foxx, who as I recall was not that great of a mentor the first time around, but whatev.We get one individual performance from each and two duets, so yay for double DeWeezy tonight! Let's get this party started. Jamie is here with some shirts that say "contestant" and "artist" and apparently he's giving these to the four performers tonight? He rambles along with Seacrest for awhile, and we'll all remember this at 9:05 when they're still singing and delaying Glee.
Lee is up first!!! My boy is singing Kiss From A Rose. Jamie actually references the Gokey during his mentoring session, which makes me want to throw something at my TV. It's really not the best song choice, and his performance is not the best he's ever done. In fact, it's not all that great, but... OMG, is that a smile? And did he just look into the camera? Is Lee actually looking comfortable on stage right now? The judges didn't like it. Lee looks sad. Is he a little teary? OMG I want to give him a hug. Call us Lee! We're still voting for you.
Mike is next, singing...... the flipping Free Willy song. Of all the songs available, he chooses the song from FREE FREAKING WILLY. I can not take this seriously. He's becoming the reincarnation of Danny Gokey inside a large black man. Oh no, now the backup singers are marching down the stairs and I feel like I'm trapped inside an SNL parody of a Glee performance. That. sucked. really. really. bad. And then Simon actually literally asks what Free Willy is about, which then leads to one of the funniest exchanges I've ever seen on this show and kinda makes me forget just how much I hate Mike now.
Our first duet of the evening belongs to Lee & Crystal. Please please please, guys, rock my world.
And world sufficiently rocked. They sing Falling Slowly, which is a song I absolutely freaking ADORE, and it is AMAZING, and they are both PHENOMENAL, and I am literally speechless right now. I have legit goosebumps. Ok, let me try to formulate actual sentences... basically, the song is a gorgeous song to begin with, and both of them sounded perfect, and their voices matched each other perfectly, and I might have been imagining being Crystal and what it would be like for Lee to serenade me just a little bit. Seriously, wow. The show can just end right now.
Instead we have Casey singing Mrs. Robinson. Ugh, this is such a let down after Crystal & Lee. It's like going from the juiciest tastiest steak you've ever had to a McDonald's hamburger. And he has a ukelele. And we're back to Kara being a cougar and lots of inappropriate conversation. I'm so over him. I'd rather Mike go home, but I'd definitely be ok with Casey and his bad perm instead.
Crystal is singing the song from Caddy Shack. I love her for that. What more can I say about Crystal? She sounded amazing as usual, and I actually really loved that song for her. And she looked and sounded like she was having fun. Again, it's not the best Crystal performance I've ever seen, but apparently Crystal's boyfriend enjoys wearing American flag printed MC Hammer pants, so bonus points for that.
In the pimp spot is Mike & Casey singing Have You Ever Loved a Woman. Of course. Because Mike can't pass up a song about love and women and all that BS. Casey sounds like a goat. Mike tries to make love to his guitar and fails miserably. They "hit" an absolutely atrocious note in there somewhere along the way and I really just wish it was Lee & Crystal were in the pimp spot instead of this disaster. The judges all fall all over it though, except for Ellen, who offers no critique except for, "why yes, I actually have loved a woman."
So to wrap it up, Lee was a little subpar on his own but made absolute magic with Crystal. My annoyance with Mike reached new levels. Casey wouldn't be here if Kara didn't want to jump his bones. Crystal rocked as usual. Let's just vote off Mike & Casey right now and have the finale we're all waiting for next week. And also, Lee needs to come to Amherst and serenade me, stat.
Tomorrow night = BON JOVI and DAUGHTRY. Lindsay will be trying to remain coherent and blog that for you. Good night!
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Marry me, Harry.
Previously on American Idol: Harry Connick Jr. was the best guest ever. Everyone cleaned up real nice, except Casey, who looked like he raided Chuck Bass's leftovers and got dressed in the dark. Wow, Seacrest is ON something tonight. Look at his hair! His crazy eyes! He's yelling at us like a crazy person on a street corner.
OK, how psyched am I that Lady GaGa is performing?? Brenna and I were discussing earlier today how awesome it would be if she and HCJ performed together. He'd come out all suave and hawt in a tux and she'd have like blood dripping off her hair and be wearing a crazy mask and a cape and shit.
Sinatra medley. Mike, lose the fedora, for real. Wow, Crystal looks smokin' in that tux. And I'm not being sarcastic either. Aaron looks like he should be going to prom. Hey, maybe if we boot him off tonight, he'll be able to go to prom! YAY! :P
Next week's theme is songs from the cinema with mentor Jamie Foxx. Yay? Didn't he already mentor one time? I thought he sucked. Someone remind me. FORD! video this week is that Plain White Tees song that's not "Hey There Delilah."
Now we've got a video of the contestants talking about what their Tuesdays used to be like. Riveting. OK, Crystal and Mike do have really cute kids. Did you know they have judge stand-ins during dress rehearsals? That was actually kind of cool to learn.
I'm sorry, Mike just looks really stupid tonight. His fedora is too new, or something...it looks stiff and weird. Time for some results. Let's do this, Seacrest. Lee is totally rocking the tux with the untied tie that Bren and I were hoping for last night. At least we got that look, if one night late, LOL. YAY Lee is safe! I totally don't give a rip about the rest of these results right now. Aww, I think Lee's crying. We love you Leeeeeeeeeeee!!!
After commercials, it's GAGA TIME. She's doing "Alejandro," which is her newest song but I have to say is not my favorite song of hers. They can't all be "Bad Romance," right? I still love her. OK, her ensemble this evening is like, a fishnet bodysuit with thigh high sparkly black stockings, underwear and bra. She has some kind of crazy black cape/veil thing over her face. Not the craziest thing she's ever worn, but this is supposed to be a family show I guess LOL. If this were anyone else it would be insane, but for GaGa it's tame. I wish HCJ had come out randomly in the middle to sing with her.
Footage of the contestants with HCJ. He is so effing hilarious. This is my favorite montage on this show ever. I cannot stop laughing at this. I might rewind this and watch it again. They should boot Randy off the panel and replace him with Harry. I'm emailing Seacrest about that. And now it's time for his performance. He's not wearing a fishnet bodysuit, but it's classic Harry. I might write him a poem.
Medley of his songs now, the contestants accompanied by Harry on the piano. He's like the most hands-on guest the show's ever had, seriously. Like when Mariah mentored that one time, I don't think she even was at the performance show. She showed up on Wednesday and sang her song with her rhinestone mike and got the hell out. HCJ FTW.
Time for more results. Ryan splits Crystal and Casey into a pair and Mike and Aaron into a pair. Someone's safe and the rest are the B3, I guess? Awww Ryan's making Lee choose the "safe" group...come on Ryan, give that shit up. LMAO Lee doesn't even know what's going on or what Ryan wants him to do. Bless his little heart. Okay, bottom two is Mike and Aaron. Crystal and Casey are safe. I'm actually a little stunned, I thought Casey blew it hard last night.
So who's going home? Aaaaaaaaaaaand, it's finally Aaron. Whew. This has been several weeks over due. I mean, cute kid, decent enough voice but not Idol winner material. I bet it was the Tripp Van der Bilt outfit last night that did him in. Bye Aaron! Hope you get to go to prom!
Next week, we'll take you through the top four singing movie songs and suffering through Jamie Foxx's "mentoring." Should be an awesome time!
OK, how psyched am I that Lady GaGa is performing?? Brenna and I were discussing earlier today how awesome it would be if she and HCJ performed together. He'd come out all suave and hawt in a tux and she'd have like blood dripping off her hair and be wearing a crazy mask and a cape and shit.
Sinatra medley. Mike, lose the fedora, for real. Wow, Crystal looks smokin' in that tux. And I'm not being sarcastic either. Aaron looks like he should be going to prom. Hey, maybe if we boot him off tonight, he'll be able to go to prom! YAY! :P
Next week's theme is songs from the cinema with mentor Jamie Foxx. Yay? Didn't he already mentor one time? I thought he sucked. Someone remind me. FORD! video this week is that Plain White Tees song that's not "Hey There Delilah."
Now we've got a video of the contestants talking about what their Tuesdays used to be like. Riveting. OK, Crystal and Mike do have really cute kids. Did you know they have judge stand-ins during dress rehearsals? That was actually kind of cool to learn.
I'm sorry, Mike just looks really stupid tonight. His fedora is too new, or something...it looks stiff and weird. Time for some results. Let's do this, Seacrest. Lee is totally rocking the tux with the untied tie that Bren and I were hoping for last night. At least we got that look, if one night late, LOL. YAY Lee is safe! I totally don't give a rip about the rest of these results right now. Aww, I think Lee's crying. We love you Leeeeeeeeeeee!!!
After commercials, it's GAGA TIME. She's doing "Alejandro," which is her newest song but I have to say is not my favorite song of hers. They can't all be "Bad Romance," right? I still love her. OK, her ensemble this evening is like, a fishnet bodysuit with thigh high sparkly black stockings, underwear and bra. She has some kind of crazy black cape/veil thing over her face. Not the craziest thing she's ever worn, but this is supposed to be a family show I guess LOL. If this were anyone else it would be insane, but for GaGa it's tame. I wish HCJ had come out randomly in the middle to sing with her.
Footage of the contestants with HCJ. He is so effing hilarious. This is my favorite montage on this show ever. I cannot stop laughing at this. I might rewind this and watch it again. They should boot Randy off the panel and replace him with Harry. I'm emailing Seacrest about that. And now it's time for his performance. He's not wearing a fishnet bodysuit, but it's classic Harry. I might write him a poem.
Medley of his songs now, the contestants accompanied by Harry on the piano. He's like the most hands-on guest the show's ever had, seriously. Like when Mariah mentored that one time, I don't think she even was at the performance show. She showed up on Wednesday and sang her song with her rhinestone mike and got the hell out. HCJ FTW.
Time for more results. Ryan splits Crystal and Casey into a pair and Mike and Aaron into a pair. Someone's safe and the rest are the B3, I guess? Awww Ryan's making Lee choose the "safe" group...come on Ryan, give that shit up. LMAO Lee doesn't even know what's going on or what Ryan wants him to do. Bless his little heart. Okay, bottom two is Mike and Aaron. Crystal and Casey are safe. I'm actually a little stunned, I thought Casey blew it hard last night.
So who's going home? Aaaaaaaaaaaand, it's finally Aaron. Whew. This has been several weeks over due. I mean, cute kid, decent enough voice but not Idol winner material. I bet it was the Tripp Van der Bilt outfit last night that did him in. Bye Aaron! Hope you get to go to prom!
Next week, we'll take you through the top four singing movie songs and suffering through Jamie Foxx's "mentoring." Should be an awesome time!
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
When Harry met Lee.
Warning, yinz guys. I'm a total dork when it comes to the standards, Mr. Francis Sinatra in particular. So what's better than Sinatra night on Idol? Sinatra night PLUS Harry Connick Jr. Hello, Harry. This... is American Idol.
So, HCJ is here not only to mentor the Idols tonight but to arrange their songs for the week AND play the piano for them. This is all kinda awesome, especially because 3/5 of this top 5 needs some assistance in being creative. HCJ is kinda funny too. And he's a Saints fan, and since I was a bandwagon Saints fan (or more so just a Drew Brees fan) I feel a connection with him. Did you guys ever see the report when HCJ met Drew? It was adorable. Hey, I found it for you to watch. :)
Aaron is up first, and HCJ is already an awesome mentor. Aaron is singing Fly Me to the Moon in the style of Tripp van der Bilt. What? That's just his wardrobe? Oh, ok. This would be good if it was my high school chorus concert in 1999, but it's not, it's American Idol, so it's dreadfully boring and basically all around sucky. Randy & Ellen kinda like it, and Kara references last week, but to be honest I can't even remember what he sang last week.
Casey is next, and his hair is all slicked back, which kinda grosses me out. He's singing Blue Skies. Seriously guys, HCJ is hilarious. Someone give him a TV show. Once Casey starts singing, I think he's trying to make love to the camera in a weird Constantine sort of way. He loses the guitar tonight and looks super uncomfortable without it. Ouch, this is bad. Like, really bad. So bad that Kara compares his voice to a lamb.
Crystal, our lone female remaining, is singing Summer Wind, which I'm not terribly familiar with. She looks fabulous though, all dolled up in a black lacey gown, and she sounds absolutely fantastic. This might be one of my favorite performances of hers, and the first time in awhile I've been completely transfixed by her again. These songs are all so good that they can make anyone sound good, but only someone great can make it sound interesting. The judges are all a little iffy, but I say well done, Crystal. Loved it.
Oh good Lord, Mike is wearing a fedora. OF COURSE he's wearing a fedora. He is so predictable. He's singing The Way You Look Tonight, aka the song everyone knew he would do. $10 says Simon busts out the wedding singer comparison. OMG, this is so cheesy. I'm so over Mike & ready for him to go home. I'm serious, if I wasn't blogging I'd be fast forwarding to Lee right now. But I owe this much to you, dear readers (all four of you). Apparently I'm deaf and blind though, because the judges all gush all over him.
And in the pimp spot tonight, ladies and gentlemen, one Mr. Lee DeWyze. He's singing That's Life, and.... oh.... my..... God.... wow. That was so awesome. I can't even type because I'm enjoying this entirely too much. The judges love it, and HCJ loves it, and you can tell there's a lot of man love going on between Lee & HCJ right now, which makes me think things that aren't exactly appropriate to write on this family friendly blog. ;)
So, to wrap up tonight: Aaron should be auditioning for High School Musical 985. I forgot about Casey already. Crystal looked stunning & proved she's already too good for all of this. Mike made me want to actually watch a performance by the musical troupes at Kennywood because they'd actually be less annoying. And watch out Cookster, Blake, Elliott & Daughtry: you've got some serious competition in the mind of one MSHBB blogger.
Tomorrow: HCJ and Lady Gaga. Potential to knock the Ke$ha show off its best results show ever pedestal. Linds will take that one for you. Sweet dreams of HCJ and jazz. ;)
So, HCJ is here not only to mentor the Idols tonight but to arrange their songs for the week AND play the piano for them. This is all kinda awesome, especially because 3/5 of this top 5 needs some assistance in being creative. HCJ is kinda funny too. And he's a Saints fan, and since I was a bandwagon Saints fan (or more so just a Drew Brees fan) I feel a connection with him. Did you guys ever see the report when HCJ met Drew? It was adorable. Hey, I found it for you to watch. :)
Aaron is up first, and HCJ is already an awesome mentor. Aaron is singing Fly Me to the Moon in the style of Tripp van der Bilt. What? That's just his wardrobe? Oh, ok. This would be good if it was my high school chorus concert in 1999, but it's not, it's American Idol, so it's dreadfully boring and basically all around sucky. Randy & Ellen kinda like it, and Kara references last week, but to be honest I can't even remember what he sang last week.
Casey is next, and his hair is all slicked back, which kinda grosses me out. He's singing Blue Skies. Seriously guys, HCJ is hilarious. Someone give him a TV show. Once Casey starts singing, I think he's trying to make love to the camera in a weird Constantine sort of way. He loses the guitar tonight and looks super uncomfortable without it. Ouch, this is bad. Like, really bad. So bad that Kara compares his voice to a lamb.
Crystal, our lone female remaining, is singing Summer Wind, which I'm not terribly familiar with. She looks fabulous though, all dolled up in a black lacey gown, and she sounds absolutely fantastic. This might be one of my favorite performances of hers, and the first time in awhile I've been completely transfixed by her again. These songs are all so good that they can make anyone sound good, but only someone great can make it sound interesting. The judges are all a little iffy, but I say well done, Crystal. Loved it.
Oh good Lord, Mike is wearing a fedora. OF COURSE he's wearing a fedora. He is so predictable. He's singing The Way You Look Tonight, aka the song everyone knew he would do. $10 says Simon busts out the wedding singer comparison. OMG, this is so cheesy. I'm so over Mike & ready for him to go home. I'm serious, if I wasn't blogging I'd be fast forwarding to Lee right now. But I owe this much to you, dear readers (all four of you). Apparently I'm deaf and blind though, because the judges all gush all over him.
And in the pimp spot tonight, ladies and gentlemen, one Mr. Lee DeWyze. He's singing That's Life, and.... oh.... my..... God.... wow. That was so awesome. I can't even type because I'm enjoying this entirely too much. The judges love it, and HCJ loves it, and you can tell there's a lot of man love going on between Lee & HCJ right now, which makes me think things that aren't exactly appropriate to write on this family friendly blog. ;)
So, to wrap up tonight: Aaron should be auditioning for High School Musical 985. I forgot about Casey already. Crystal looked stunning & proved she's already too good for all of this. Mike made me want to actually watch a performance by the musical troupes at Kennywood because they'd actually be less annoying. And watch out Cookster, Blake, Elliott & Daughtry: you've got some serious competition in the mind of one MSHBB blogger.
Tomorrow: HCJ and Lady Gaga. Potential to knock the Ke$ha show off its best results show ever pedestal. Linds will take that one for you. Sweet dreams of HCJ and jazz. ;)
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Wicked sad that Siobhan is gone.
Yeah, to be honest, I don't care all that much right now. The Capitals just lost ANOTHER game 7 at home. The Pens are now the top seed in the East. It's country night. All these things make me completely uninspired, but this... is American Idol. :)
Tonight we have your results, as well as performances by Rascal Flatts, Lady Antebellum, and... Shakira. One of these things is not like the other. Rascal Flatts is first, and I fast forward the shit out of that. I'm sorry, people, my interest in country music is way below sea level, and Rascal Flatts is up there with Nickelback on my list of worst bands in existence. You can Youtube it if you're interested (and I will judge the crap out of you).
Oh Lord, I think the FORD! commercial is something Twilight related. I am tempted to fast forward again, but Lee looks kinda hot and I think Siobhan is enjoying this a little too much. I do like this song too. But in reality, this has no influence whatsoever on whether I will buy a Ford at any point in my lifetime, and all it succeeds in me wanting is to watch the second season of True Blood.
Shrek 8,980 promo. What? It's only Shrek 4? Oh, I'm sorry. I'm also bored by this. So is Lee. Cameron Diaz and Antonio Banderas??? What? This is random. Cameron makes Ryan look like a dwarf. Next.
Results. Siobhan is up first. She was not good last night, y'all. She says wicked cool though, and the adopted Masshole in me loves her. She goes to one side of the stage. Aaron is next. I'm bored by his existence. He goes to the middle of the stage. Big Mike: over him. He's on the right side of the stage.
Sexvoice. Hey Linds... arms! ;) He was awesome last night, as per usual, and I'm with Linds wearing the Lee blinders. He's on the far side of the stage with Siobhan. Casey and his bad perm join Big Mike. Crystal and her giant hat join Aaron in the center.
I love when they try to manufacture drama, and I realized 10 minutes ago this is going to be a "one of each of these two is in the bottom three and OMG who will it be?????" Anyone with half a brain knows that Crystal and Lee are fine. Seacrest actually does a cruel sort of musical chairs business and moves Siobhan over to Mike & Casey to make up the bottom 3, and I wonder HOW THE EFF IS AARON STILL ON THIS SHOW??? I hate preteens. They eff up this show every year.
Hey, Carrie Underwood! Are you enjoying your extra time with your fiance? She introduces some people called Sons of Sylvia, who I've never heard of, and they're so not what I was expecting them to be. I don't hate this song. It's sort of quasi-emo mixed with Airborne Toxic Event, if that makes any sense. Maybe I even kinda like this song. Even if the lead singer thinks he's Edward Cullen.
Time for Lady Antebellum and that song about drunk dialing and booty calls! Only in country music could this sound heartfelt, y'all. I actually don't hate this song, but this girl doesn't sound that great live... the guy though... dude, I love his voice. He's the sole reason I don't change the channel immediately when this comes on the radio.
The next performance confuses me so much that I'm not really sure where to begin. Shakira has a song that she is apparently singing with Rascal Flatts, and she is a gypsy, now she's singing with the obnoxious lead singer and maybe she's belly dancing, and now she's playing the harmonica, and at this point I wonder if I've had too many bubbletinis tonight and I'm just hallucinating all of this? I... don't... understand... oh, thank God, it's over. Why does Shakira look like Jessica Alba tonight?
Ok, back to the results. Big Mike is talking, blah blah blah, and then he is safe, and I think, dammit, I can't handle his schtick again next week. And then Lee gives him such man love that it makes me not mind all that much.
So we're down to Siobhan and Casey... and Siobhan is leaving us tonight. I can't say I'm surprised, though I will say I'm upset. When she was on, Siobhan easily had one of the most beautiful voices I've ever heard, but I do think she peaked too early (Paint It Black in week 1 was PHENOMENAL and will still be in my constant iTunes rotation) and sort of lost her way the rest of the season. She exits with a reprise of Think, and I have a feeling this isn't the last time we'll be hearing from the glassblower with the funky style. :)
Next week is Sinatra week with Harry Connick, Jr. as mentor. Which means, most likely, three of the five remaining contestants will ruin some of my favorite songs in history, and I will hope for the next six days that Lee sings One For My Baby and Mike does not sing Mack the Knife. Till then... good night!
Tonight we have your results, as well as performances by Rascal Flatts, Lady Antebellum, and... Shakira. One of these things is not like the other. Rascal Flatts is first, and I fast forward the shit out of that. I'm sorry, people, my interest in country music is way below sea level, and Rascal Flatts is up there with Nickelback on my list of worst bands in existence. You can Youtube it if you're interested (and I will judge the crap out of you).
Oh Lord, I think the FORD! commercial is something Twilight related. I am tempted to fast forward again, but Lee looks kinda hot and I think Siobhan is enjoying this a little too much. I do like this song too. But in reality, this has no influence whatsoever on whether I will buy a Ford at any point in my lifetime, and all it succeeds in me wanting is to watch the second season of True Blood.
Shrek 8,980 promo. What? It's only Shrek 4? Oh, I'm sorry. I'm also bored by this. So is Lee. Cameron Diaz and Antonio Banderas??? What? This is random. Cameron makes Ryan look like a dwarf. Next.
Results. Siobhan is up first. She was not good last night, y'all. She says wicked cool though, and the adopted Masshole in me loves her. She goes to one side of the stage. Aaron is next. I'm bored by his existence. He goes to the middle of the stage. Big Mike: over him. He's on the right side of the stage.
Sexvoice. Hey Linds... arms! ;) He was awesome last night, as per usual, and I'm with Linds wearing the Lee blinders. He's on the far side of the stage with Siobhan. Casey and his bad perm join Big Mike. Crystal and her giant hat join Aaron in the center.
I love when they try to manufacture drama, and I realized 10 minutes ago this is going to be a "one of each of these two is in the bottom three and OMG who will it be?????" Anyone with half a brain knows that Crystal and Lee are fine. Seacrest actually does a cruel sort of musical chairs business and moves Siobhan over to Mike & Casey to make up the bottom 3, and I wonder HOW THE EFF IS AARON STILL ON THIS SHOW??? I hate preteens. They eff up this show every year.
Hey, Carrie Underwood! Are you enjoying your extra time with your fiance? She introduces some people called Sons of Sylvia, who I've never heard of, and they're so not what I was expecting them to be. I don't hate this song. It's sort of quasi-emo mixed with Airborne Toxic Event, if that makes any sense. Maybe I even kinda like this song. Even if the lead singer thinks he's Edward Cullen.
Time for Lady Antebellum and that song about drunk dialing and booty calls! Only in country music could this sound heartfelt, y'all. I actually don't hate this song, but this girl doesn't sound that great live... the guy though... dude, I love his voice. He's the sole reason I don't change the channel immediately when this comes on the radio.
The next performance confuses me so much that I'm not really sure where to begin. Shakira has a song that she is apparently singing with Rascal Flatts, and she is a gypsy, now she's singing with the obnoxious lead singer and maybe she's belly dancing, and now she's playing the harmonica, and at this point I wonder if I've had too many bubbletinis tonight and I'm just hallucinating all of this? I... don't... understand... oh, thank God, it's over. Why does Shakira look like Jessica Alba tonight?
Ok, back to the results. Big Mike is talking, blah blah blah, and then he is safe, and I think, dammit, I can't handle his schtick again next week. And then Lee gives him such man love that it makes me not mind all that much.
So we're down to Siobhan and Casey... and Siobhan is leaving us tonight. I can't say I'm surprised, though I will say I'm upset. When she was on, Siobhan easily had one of the most beautiful voices I've ever heard, but I do think she peaked too early (Paint It Black in week 1 was PHENOMENAL and will still be in my constant iTunes rotation) and sort of lost her way the rest of the season. She exits with a reprise of Think, and I have a feeling this isn't the last time we'll be hearing from the glassblower with the funky style. :)
Next week is Sinatra week with Harry Connick, Jr. as mentor. Which means, most likely, three of the five remaining contestants will ruin some of my favorite songs in history, and I will hope for the next six days that Lee sings One For My Baby and Mike does not sing Mack the Knife. Till then... good night!
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
That don't impress-a me much!
Man! I feel like a Seacrest. Welcome back to Idol, folks. Top six tonight, finally. And Idol Give F'ing Back is behind us. Woo! All downhill from here.
Tonight we're doing the music of...Shania Twain? Random. Last week when they said she was the mentor, I thought maybe it was just general country week but apparently we're being forced to sit through six straight Shania performances. I guess I didn't realize what an influential artist she was. I mean, who else delivered such lyrics like "I can't believe you kiss your car good night!"
Oy. Obligatory Shania montage. Looking good, lady. Ooh, not that sequined cardigan though. Very Chico's. Her hair's nice and big though. I can totes get on board with big hair.
Lee! Lee Dewyzeeeeeeeee! He's up first with "You're Still the One." I actually like this song. Lee could do a good job with this. He sounds more and more like Dave Matthews every week. CALL US LEE! I like this so far. He's changing it up enough so it sounds like Lee, but holding on to the original melody enough so that it's not weird. I'm probably biased though because I heart Lee real bad. Good feedback from the judges overall. Yay Lee!
Dear judges: quit bickering and bantering with each other and wasting time, because that's why Glee got cut off last week. KTHXBAI LOVE YOU MEAN IT.
Big Mike's up next. I hope he sings "Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under?" Is that a Shania song or did I make that up? ANYWAY, I don't think I know this song. "It Only Hurts When I'm Breathing" I think it's called. Meh. Mike is soooo predictable. He does have a very nice voice, but it's the same shit every week. Romantic love song, blah blah blah. He's got a crazy cool medallion on though. Objectively, this was very nice, but it just didn't do it for me, dawg. He gets some Luther Vandross comparisons, which is probably a pretty big deal for him.
Confession: I think Shania seems kind of cool and goofy and down to earth, and she would probably be fun to go get a drink with and gossip about people. I realize this probably makes me a giant dork, but I'm okay with that.
ANOTHER commercial? Jesus. We are totally running over again tonight. I hope people set their DVRs to run late for Glee. Casey's after the break. Was Shania there when Kara molested him in the auditions? I can't remember. He's singing "Don't" tonight. I don't know any of these songs. Apparently I am not well versed in the Shania catalog. His hair looks like....okay, you know how if you're trying to pick a new hairdo, there are those programs online where you upload your pic and you can put your face in different hairstyles? Casey's hair tonight looks like the standard "shoulder length blond curly" hairdo that you could pick.
Wow, I need a life. Anyway, Casey sounds decent enough. It sounds like he's singing right at the top of his range or something. Something's weird about it for me, I don't really love it, but the judges apparently all love it, so I'm clearly a moron. Wow, Simon and Randy call it the best performance he's ever done.
Next up we've got Crystal. What in the hayell is she going to sing? I hate Crystal's outfit. Blech. She's singing ANOTHER song I don't know "No One Needs to Know." I suck at Shania. Why is no one singing shit I know??? Dammit, guys. Wow, she's got a full band on stage with her tonight. Didgeridoo anyone? LOL. This is okay for Crystal, it's kind of different from her stuff she's been doing. I'm not a huge fan of it, maybe because I don't really know the song at all, but Crystal's always delivering solid stuff, and she's always gonna sound awesome.
Now it's Aaron's turn, which means Siobhan's got the PS. Interesting, she's kind of blown it the past few weeks, so wonder what she's got up her sleeve. Anyway, back to Aaron. I bet he sings "From This Moment." Also it's 8:44 and we've still got two contestants. SERIOUSLY Idol.
Blah, okay, Aaron. Damn, I missed on guessing his song. "You've Got a Way." I actually know this one! Aaron looks more and more boy band every week. Again like with Mike--totally predictable. He sounds kind of weak tonight. Maybe he's getting tired? It's like he can't make it to the end of the notes or something. I hope this is the last week for Aaron. Why are they all telling him it was good? That was crap, guys. I am way off tonight, apparently. Or else I'm so deeply entrenched in my Lee love that it's clouding the rest of this show.
Siobhan is closing out the show tonight with Shania's first number one song, which was "Any Man of Mine." Finally, something with some life. IF I CHANGE MY MIIIIIND, A MILLION TIMES. I hope she turns it around this week and doesn't suck and stops backtalking the judges. OMG what is her outfit?? I don't even know why I get shocked by Siobhan's outfits every week, but dayum. I think Kelly Kapowski wore this in an ep of Saved by the Bell.
This performance sucks. They only put her in the PS because it was the only up tempo song of the night. She was all over the place vocally, and she did that whole screaming thing at the end. Siobhan, I loved you once, but I think that time is over. It's the point where there's only room in my heart for one contestant, and his name is Lee Dewyze. Why are the judges telling her it was fantastic?? This was. Not. Good. Am I going deaf and don't realize it?
SIGH. Another mediocre night. At this point, I don't even know who the B3 will be. By my call, it should be Aaron, Siobhan and Mike, but we'll see tomorrow night. Brenna will take you through our results!
Tonight we're doing the music of...Shania Twain? Random. Last week when they said she was the mentor, I thought maybe it was just general country week but apparently we're being forced to sit through six straight Shania performances. I guess I didn't realize what an influential artist she was. I mean, who else delivered such lyrics like "I can't believe you kiss your car good night!"
Oy. Obligatory Shania montage. Looking good, lady. Ooh, not that sequined cardigan though. Very Chico's. Her hair's nice and big though. I can totes get on board with big hair.
Lee! Lee Dewyzeeeeeeeee! He's up first with "You're Still the One." I actually like this song. Lee could do a good job with this. He sounds more and more like Dave Matthews every week. CALL US LEE! I like this so far. He's changing it up enough so it sounds like Lee, but holding on to the original melody enough so that it's not weird. I'm probably biased though because I heart Lee real bad. Good feedback from the judges overall. Yay Lee!
Dear judges: quit bickering and bantering with each other and wasting time, because that's why Glee got cut off last week. KTHXBAI LOVE YOU MEAN IT.
Big Mike's up next. I hope he sings "Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under?" Is that a Shania song or did I make that up? ANYWAY, I don't think I know this song. "It Only Hurts When I'm Breathing" I think it's called. Meh. Mike is soooo predictable. He does have a very nice voice, but it's the same shit every week. Romantic love song, blah blah blah. He's got a crazy cool medallion on though. Objectively, this was very nice, but it just didn't do it for me, dawg. He gets some Luther Vandross comparisons, which is probably a pretty big deal for him.
Confession: I think Shania seems kind of cool and goofy and down to earth, and she would probably be fun to go get a drink with and gossip about people. I realize this probably makes me a giant dork, but I'm okay with that.
ANOTHER commercial? Jesus. We are totally running over again tonight. I hope people set their DVRs to run late for Glee. Casey's after the break. Was Shania there when Kara molested him in the auditions? I can't remember. He's singing "Don't" tonight. I don't know any of these songs. Apparently I am not well versed in the Shania catalog. His hair looks like....okay, you know how if you're trying to pick a new hairdo, there are those programs online where you upload your pic and you can put your face in different hairstyles? Casey's hair tonight looks like the standard "shoulder length blond curly" hairdo that you could pick.
Wow, I need a life. Anyway, Casey sounds decent enough. It sounds like he's singing right at the top of his range or something. Something's weird about it for me, I don't really love it, but the judges apparently all love it, so I'm clearly a moron. Wow, Simon and Randy call it the best performance he's ever done.
Next up we've got Crystal. What in the hayell is she going to sing? I hate Crystal's outfit. Blech. She's singing ANOTHER song I don't know "No One Needs to Know." I suck at Shania. Why is no one singing shit I know??? Dammit, guys. Wow, she's got a full band on stage with her tonight. Didgeridoo anyone? LOL. This is okay for Crystal, it's kind of different from her stuff she's been doing. I'm not a huge fan of it, maybe because I don't really know the song at all, but Crystal's always delivering solid stuff, and she's always gonna sound awesome.
Now it's Aaron's turn, which means Siobhan's got the PS. Interesting, she's kind of blown it the past few weeks, so wonder what she's got up her sleeve. Anyway, back to Aaron. I bet he sings "From This Moment." Also it's 8:44 and we've still got two contestants. SERIOUSLY Idol.
Blah, okay, Aaron. Damn, I missed on guessing his song. "You've Got a Way." I actually know this one! Aaron looks more and more boy band every week. Again like with Mike--totally predictable. He sounds kind of weak tonight. Maybe he's getting tired? It's like he can't make it to the end of the notes or something. I hope this is the last week for Aaron. Why are they all telling him it was good? That was crap, guys. I am way off tonight, apparently. Or else I'm so deeply entrenched in my Lee love that it's clouding the rest of this show.
Siobhan is closing out the show tonight with Shania's first number one song, which was "Any Man of Mine." Finally, something with some life. IF I CHANGE MY MIIIIIND, A MILLION TIMES. I hope she turns it around this week and doesn't suck and stops backtalking the judges. OMG what is her outfit?? I don't even know why I get shocked by Siobhan's outfits every week, but dayum. I think Kelly Kapowski wore this in an ep of Saved by the Bell.
This performance sucks. They only put her in the PS because it was the only up tempo song of the night. She was all over the place vocally, and she did that whole screaming thing at the end. Siobhan, I loved you once, but I think that time is over. It's the point where there's only room in my heart for one contestant, and his name is Lee Dewyze. Why are the judges telling her it was fantastic?? This was. Not. Good. Am I going deaf and don't realize it?
SIGH. Another mediocre night. At this point, I don't even know who the B3 will be. By my call, it should be Aaron, Siobhan and Mike, but we'll see tomorrow night. Brenna will take you through our results!
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
We'll give back, but spirits must be broken anyways.
me:starting.... now
MSHBB disclaimer: we're all for giving back, we just think IGFB is a load of crap
Lindsay: i bet seacrest is dressed all somber
because this is SERIOUS
me: maybe he'll stay sober tonight
obama is like, really? don't i have real stuff to do?
Lindsay: you know president obama is only doing this b/c his daughters made him
they're like, daddy WE LOVE AARON
me: eh, i bet they're tim urban girls
8:01 PM Lindsay: i want michelle's dress
OMG he did not just quote randy jackson
me: omg, obama just said dawgs
Lindsay: tender moments from my dawg barack!
it was so nice when we didn't have this last year
8:02 PM me: soooo nice
i read that they didn't do it last year b/c of the recession
aren't we still in a recession?
Lindsay: that's what i was saying earlier
ask any nonprofit how their donations are going, lol
wow, simon busted out a blazer
that's usually only on finale night
8:03 PM me: aw, he's dressed up
PIMP THE SPONSORS PIMP THE SPONSORS
Lindsay: exxon is a random sponsor
QUEEEEEEEN
i love her
so are the B list acts performing at that place?
8:04 PM me: hmm, doesn't appear so
they got BEP and carrie
hey carrie, we're kicking your fiance's ass!
Lindsay: BWAAA
but ps he's hot
me: oh absolutely
Lindsay: so we'll get results at like 9:59
me: i feel like IGFB is like the state of the union
we could do this in 15 minutes
but there has to be clapping every 5 seconds
8:05 PM Lindsay: omg, that is an excellent analogy
let me clap for 5 minutes
to interrupt it
me: tim, lee, & crystal
one of these things is not like the other
Lindsay: oh i forgot about them dressing them all in white
to be all angelic and shit
me: lol
most men should not wear white
Lindsay: i didnt hear ryan say top 10 and was like, why is didi here
lol sorry didi
me: i saw lacey too
booooo
Lindsay: what is this song?
8:06 PM me: i don't know, but it sucks
Lindsay: also i can see siobhan's world
me: i think danny gokey wrote it
Lindsay: yank it down, sweetie
my mom just called, and goes, this blows
me: mrs. smith is absolutely correct
me: ooh jennifer garner, i love her
Lindsay: i appreciate that she's going to someplace in the US
8:08 PM me: she's a WV girl you know
Lindsay: hey, WV
yeah, her bio is in the WV section of our library
LOL
i shelved it many a time
me: hahaha
Lindsay: i love that she's normal
8:09 PM me: i love that she's normal too & i think ben is too & i want to be friends w/ them both
and their kids are precious & not in the suri cruise creepy kind of way either
Lindsay: omg this little girl is so sweet
she breaks my heart
i totally agree on the garner/affleck kids
8:10 PM me: this girl is adorable
damn you, IGFB, for tugging at my heart strings
Lindsay: are you gonna donate now?
make a personalized page
and email it out
LOL
me: sorry, i can barely pay my own bills
lol
Lindsay: disclaimer: we do donate to charitable causes
we aren't heartless
hahaha
me: fact
8:11 PM Lindsay: POSH
me: posh!!!
Lindsay: omg can you imagine her in kentucky??
me: omg posh went to kentucky?
why don't we have video of that?
Lindsay: get out of my brain, seriously
me: lol
Lindsay: she's not wearing heels
im stunned
<-------stunned
me: haha look at her in the pictures, she's like "i'm wearing a hat! i'm like you!"
lol
8:12 PM Lindsay: stars! they're just like us!
me: they pump gas!
Lindsay: i can't take this kid seriously
with this mohawk
sorry, buddy
8:13 PM me: that was all kinds of awkward
look at posh trying to look posh in the background
Lindsay: this is what happens when you go sans teleprompter
COKE!
drink coke! watch idol!
8:14 PM i think adam's hiding upstairs watching hockey lol
me: this movie looks dumb
basketball players = wimps
Lindsay: isn't paula patton married to robin thicke?
or did i just make that up?
me: i have no idea, but i love robin thicke
Lindsay: aaaaand, wiki
8:15 PM yeah, she is
i think they just had a baby, i read it in People
when i set aside the seven minutes it takes to read a People ;)
8:17 PM me: what does capt. sully have to do with this?
Lindsay: adam literally just said, why is HE on here?
sully is a HERO, you guys
me: oh sorry, i forgot
8:18 PM Lindsay: i'm terrified of this bit i think
me: just accept that this is going to be awful
hey russell brand, remember how you're marrying katy perry & ke$ha wants to be a bridesmaid?
Lindsay: the twilights? LMAO
me: LMAO the thin pale boy
Lindsay: i think russell brand is wearing katy perry's shirt
8:19 PM me: this is so not funny
also sorry, jonah hill, but you look fatter than usual
Lindsay: he needs to be JHud's counterpart for weight watchers
girl looks AMAZING
me: of course mike feels good
Lindsay: mike's like, let us pray
lol whoops, that was awful
8:20 PM me: awwwwww hi sexvoice
call us!
Lindsay: seriously, siobhan
pull down your skirt
me: (for the non-initiated, sexvoice is now my nickname for lee)
Lindsay: sexxxxvoiceeeeeee
me: oh wtf is behind queen?
Lindsay: the BEP
of course
me: oh of course it's the BEP
8:21 PM Lindsay: so...many....things....happening
me: are they all fist pumping?
where's the situation?
Lindsay: he made out with snooki i read
me: is that a person? i think iv'e heard that somewhere
Lindsay: i dont know what that means
but perez reported it
me: i ask the same question i always ask when i see fergie
how did she land josh duhamel?
Lindsay: right??
8:22 PM me: at least they're not singing that awful imma be song
Lindsay: i feel like every live number the BEP do is exactly the same
me: it is, i'm pretty sure they did this for the finale
and the grammys
and the espys, who knows
Lindsay: were they at the NHL awards with chaka khan?
me: lol yes
until they got scared by ovechkin's teeth
Lindsay: will.i.am sounds like shit
me: everyone in this group sounds like shit
8:23 PM Lindsay: for real, whoever decided that fergie was a singer?
is there shit messed up with the sound?
or what is going on?
me: this is sooooo terrible
Lindsay: why isn't it over yet
8:24 PM me: every time i think it's gonna end, it keeps... going....
yet if this was ke$ha, it would be awesome
Lindsay: it would be a totally different level if it were ke$ha
because she would legitimately be wasted
and not know where she was
me: oh, obvi
Lindsay: you know queen thought that sucked
me: i love the random B list celebs in the audience that i should know but don't
8:25 PM LOL this interaction between fergie & queen is HIALRIOUS
Lindsay: they are clapping because its OVER, Queen
not because they love them
oh here we go, footage of mosquito nets, right?
8:26 PM me: ding ding! you are correct
Lindsay: ok, how can malaria be classified as "severe"
isnt that implied???
seacrest, she has MALARIA
8:27 PM me: i know this is tragic, but does it have to be SOOOOOOO dramatic?
Lindsay: i feel like maybe this girl's family wouldnt' have actually wanted this on tape
but they didnt want to say no
me: yeah, this is disturbing
8:28 PM Lindsay: only a half hour down.....lord
me: also, how do you go from BEP to that
Lindsay: seriously, terrible segue
Lindsay: OMG
justin guarini is coming here
8:32 PM for the italian festa in clarksburg
LMAO
adam just goes, who the hell is that guy??
me: omg hahahaha
Lindsay: that is so random
time for more awkward banter!
Lindsay: is tim's shirt see through?
me:man i hope so
8:33 PM Lindsay: is this as close as we're getting to him shirtless?
me: can we bid for tim to take off his shirt?
ugh, i think george lopez is so annoying
Lindsay: oh my god, me too
how did he get a talk show?
and i don't have one
8:34 PM me: LMAO OMG GEORGE LOPEZ JUST MADE A GOKEY JOKE
ok now i like him a little more
Lindsay: ok, that was kind of awesome
8:35 PM ok, this segment just got dumb
me: this segment can end soon
unless he tells kara she sucks
8:36 PM ok he just told randy to formulate his own thoughts, so thank you george lopez
Lindsay: adam's like hooting over here
OMG
me: this is actually kinda brilliant
Lindsay: i may have changed my mind on this
didn't george lopez have liver cancer or something
8:37 PM oh my goooooddd!!!
me: wow
did you see her nekkid pic?
Lindsay: did you see that pic of her
LOL yes
me: LOL cut to casey
Lindsay: ew casey's hair tonight
this will be dumb if he cuts simon
because come on
simon's the best one
i didn't get that kardashian joke
me: me neither
8:38 PM Lindsay: i think simon hates george lopez
and probably wants to have him murdered
8:39 PM me: parts of that were awesome
FORD!
Lindsay: hey everyone, drive a FORD!
and drink some COKE
8:40 PM and listen to ITUNES in your FORD
me: and drink a COKE
Lindsay: and....use EXXON gas?
lol
me: that commercial was dumber than usual i think
Lindsay: i didnt even know that song, did you?
me: nope
Lindsay: hey, there's 7, this is usually the two groups thing
8:41 PM me: crystal looks very uneasy walking in those heels
Lindsay: but it doesnt look like he's doing that
i think crystal hates her dress
me: maybe the 2 groups thing is too mean for IGFB?
Lindsay: casey needs some infusium on that perm
me: he's got some major frizz
Lindsay: oooh, casey's B3
me: i'm ok with that
Lindsay: didn't Koz call that?
8:42 PM or he just asked if he'd ever been?
my mom's totes sad right now
me: i don't know, i never read the comments today
Lindsay: clearly, aaron needs to be B3 here
me: dude if aaron is safe over lee i'm throwing something
Lindsay: LA DA DAAAAA
CALL US LEE
me: sexvoice
Lindsay: please be aaron, please be aaron
8:43 PM YES
me: WOOOOOOO
Lindsay: THAT'S RIGHT, AMERICA
siobhan or big mike in the B3 i bet
me: you're right, aaron does look soooo tiny
Lindsay: i dont know, maybe Tim
doesn't he?? he looked so anorexic last night
8:44 PM me: i heart joss stone
Lindsay: omg me too, i just said that out loud here
haha
8:45 PM me: when i worked at AE one year we had her version of "fell in love with a boy" on our soundtrack & i swear, i thought it was a big black woman singing it for the longest time
Lindsay: HAHAHA
i can totally see that
i can't say anything bad about this
i love her
me: then i found out it was this little british girl & i was like, whoa
me too, this is bad ass
8:46 PM Lindsay: her dress is weird, that's all
haha
me: ha, i kinda like it
Lindsay: is she really tall?
she looks like a behemoth
damn, get it, joss
8:47 PM me: i think she is
that was fantastic
oooooh david duchovny
BEIBER
Lindsay: BIEBER
me: BEIBER
BEIBER
Lindsay: here's that song i like
8:48 PM me: i freaking love this song
Lindsay: i hate that i first heard it in that stupid rpatz movie preview
me: was that our only beiber spotting?
wtf, idol?
Lindsay: so far, that better not have been it
8:49 PM me: that commercial just made me laugh
Lindsay: i think a demi lovato was in there too
me: haha is that like a selena gomez?
Lindsay: i flipped over to hockey on the commercial haha
yes, they are the same
8:50 PM
Lindsay: hey, morgan freeman!
me: hey, morgan freeman!
Lindsay: wow, live and in person
8:53 PM me: jinx
Lindsay: the coke is in the mail
me: sweet
he has the most authoritative voice
he speaks and i listen
Lindsay: i will probably donate after listening to this
damn you, freeman
me: lol
8:54 PM Lindsay: ok, but not after listening to jackson
go away, randy
me: i feel dumber now after listening to randy
8:55 PM ok, good, morgan is back
Lindsay: oh my god
what is wrong with people???
me: they're disgusting
Lindsay: that made me sick
8:56 PM me: there's a great quote in my new journal, it says "never overestimate the decency of the human race"
it's so true
Lindsay: omg morgan freeman hula hooping
amazing
me: LOL morgan freeman hula hooping = greates thing ever
8:57 PM Lindsay: ok, save the children is great, yay!
we need to mock more shit
where are the group numbers
me: seriously
whoa, let's mock the shirt randy is wearing tonight
8:58 PM Lindsay: there is too much going on
and he's got a crazy cool medallion too
me: talking bout crazy cool medallions
Lindsay: what up alicia
me: woooooo
Lindsay: whoa, alicia
8:59 PM what is this ensemble
me: is she wearing a jumpsuit?
a SATIN jumpsuit?
Lindsay: with cutout shoulders
me: ouch, she does not sound great either
Lindsay: yikes, what's happening
alicia, pull it together
put one hand in the air for the big city, girl!
9:00 PM me: she is not a big girl by any means & she looks like in that ensemble
this is so gonna be on the fug tomorrow
Lindsay: 100%
her ass looks huge
satin is not forgiving
me: oh god no
9:01 PM Lindsay: look at big mike in the background
me: darn i missed him, what was he doing?
NEW YOOOOOOOOOORK
Lindsay: swaying
ew, this sounds like ass
GOD, alicia
me: wtf is going on, i saw her do this song on SNL & it was fantastic
9:02 PM Lindsay: idol's really stepped up the background graphics in the last few years
remember in the beginning like three different people would have flames
and then two people would have like blue wavy lines
me: haha it was like the old screensaver with the flying toaster
Lindsay: lmao exactly
9:03 PM one of the lines in the morgantown version of this song is "the hills are growing houses!"
no lie
me: what does that even mean???
Lindsay: that people are building houses on hillsides?
LOL
9:04 PM oh my god, adam is making up a bridgeport version o this
and i am dying
me: i wish i could hear that
Lindsay: WHO IS JOSH GROBAN??? KILL YOURSELF!!!
me: bwaaaaaaaa
what is that from?
Lindsay: thats still on of my favorite glee lines of all time
me: oh that's right
Lindsay: the acafellas ep of glee
LOL
me: i loved the acafellas
9:05 PM Lindsay: less than an hour of this left
me: sorry, it's nowhere close to "did you know dolphins are gay sharks?"
Lindsay: we made it past the halfway point!
me: woooooo!!!
Lindsay: lol
9:09 PM omg this bit again
WHY
me: go away jonah hill
Lindsay: russell brand is on coke i think
he has crazy eyes like orpik
lmao justin beiber's cousin
me: lol
Lindsay: LMAO remember when slash was a mentor
9:10 PM me: haha that was the best
was that the cookster's year?
Lindsay: OMG
ok, that was awesome
me: OMG TATIANA!??!!?!?!
Lindsay: why the hell is octomom here??????
GOOD GOD, IDOL
aww jim, im sad you and jenny broke up
9:11 PM this bit can end now
me: jim carey, are you going to make a movie ever again?
Lindsay: kthxbai
me: that was terrible
Lindsay: i think Common dates a Williams sister
9:12 PM but i can't remember if it's Venus or Serena
YAY CARRIE
me: hey carrie!!!!
is mike really sad that he's down 3-1?
Lindsay: tell him we don't care, but he's hot!
me: tell him to call me, i'll comfort him
Lindsay: bwaaa
me: carrie looks fantastic as per usual
Lindsay: i love her dress
me: me too
Lindsay: but not her wrist corsage
me: yeah that's a little too prom for me
9:13 PM Lindsay: SHOW US THE ROCK
HOLD UP YOUR LEFT HAND
me: i wish she was singing cowboy casanova instead of this boring song
Lindsay: is this song inspirational?
oh yeah, is it
lol
me: cowboy casanova inspires me not to hook up with cowboy casanovas
so, bam.
Lindsay: hahahaha
me: carrie hold the mike with your LEFT HAND
i want to see your ing
* ring
Lindsay: seriously, what is she doin to us
9:14 PM we dont care about that gold thing on your right hand
at least she doesnt sound like ass
like everyone else tonight, god
me: DAMN THAT ROCK IS HUGE
good job, mike fisher
9:15 PM Lindsay: woooooo
i wonder whose is bigger, hers or hilary duffs?
9:16 PM david arquette??
what does he do? besides be courtney cox's husband?
me: most random pairing ever
Lindsay: i think feeding america is hawt curtis's chartiy
me: apparently he is feeding america
Lindsay: charity
9:17 PM on celeb apprentice
me: omg, casey looks like david arquette
i always knew he looked like someone but couldn't place it
hahahahahaha
Lindsay: OMG he totally does
NICE
9:18 PM this is the least crazy i think ive ever seen david arquette
me: haha maybe he's calming in his old age
Lindsay: ELLIOTT
WHAT UP!!!
me: YAAAAAAY
i miss elliott so bad
Lindsay: i was really sad when his mom died
9:19 PM me: omg me too, remember how cute she was in his parade??
Lindsay: she was so awesome
HOW LATE IS IT GOING TO GO, RYAN
me: what is the mary j all star band?
Lindsay: JESUS
lol i have no idea
9:20 PM remember when elliott had to sing with mary j
and she took over the whole song
he got the shaft so bad
9:21 PM me: haaa yes
that was the same night kat mcphee sang with meatloaf
9:22 PM Lindsay: two most awkward finale performances of all time
dear everyone
me: shit, it's somehow 4-2 caps now
Lindsay: please do not go see the back up plan
thanks, brenna and lindsay
9:25 PM here's my problem with this entire program
where exactly does this money go
me: omg, make it stop
9:26 PM Lindsay: like when i donate to the leukemia and lymphoma society
i know where that money's going
me: right, "global health care" is so vague
Lindsay: like, if i donate $10
does it go to a mosquito net
or to the food bank?
9:27 PM i'd rather donate $10 directly to the food bank
9:28 PM me: i have no idea
9:29 PM Lindsay: lol wanda sykes? random
me: everything about IGFB is random
Lindsay: i think they just call up a bunch of people and whoever sticks, they put on
me: lol lots of boob jokes at simon's expense tonight
9:30 PM Lindsay: seriously, i dont need crappy stand up about the show
lol
me: i am so bored right now
Lindsay: if they cut wanda sykes, it wouldnt run over
me: fact
9:31 PM Lindsay: randy's like the only one laughing
me: tim is laughing b/c he's like "i'm sitting next to mike, he may eat me if i don't laugh"
Lindsay: whew, thank god that's over
9:32 PM casey looks like a bee gee
with that hair and in that white suit
me: omg he absolutely does
Lindsay: I'M BARRY EFFING GIBB
me: please be mike in the B3
Lindsay: im worried for Siobhan
me: ok this is random, but i love the versatility of siobhan's hair
it's so short but it never looks the same
9:33 PM Lindsay: i know what you mean, i love that too
oooh i'm surprised she's safe!!
me: YESSSS
i'm ok with either of these people going home
awww moment of silence for matty g
9:34 PM Lindsay: i didn't see casey coming, but i think i called aaron and tim
i hope it's aaron
me: omg mike, GET OFF THE STAGE
Lindsay: HELL YES
COOK
me: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
AND NO BANGS
Lindsay: what is his hair doing? its doing that thing again.
where it's all fuzzy looking
me: it's much better than the last time he was on when he had a combover
Lindsay: lol true story there
9:35 PM me: cookster, call me
Lindsay: is he just gonna talk about africa and not sing? cause that's bunk
me: did he borrow that scarf from michael johns?
Lindsay: i bet he did, weren't they BFF
me: i always wonder what these people in africa think
9:36 PM
are they like, who is this guy and why is he filming us?
Lindsay: yeah, i wonder that too
those kids look over cookster
come on guys! he's awesome!
9:37 PM me: omg cookster is so cute with the kids
Lindsay: don't teach them the sway! noooo!
me: hahahaha
9:38 PM Lindsay: i love how he talks about these kids like he knows them all personally
he's so great
me: i just feel like we got to know him, you know?
i never really felt that with adam, that was one of my issues with him
Lindsay: yea, that wasn't depressing or annoying
9:39 PM oh you mean in general over the season
i thought you meant just right now
lol
me: haha, no, over the season
Lindsay: i wonder if adam was really careful about his interviews b/c of the gay thing
and how he didn twant to come out till after idol
so he just didnt really open up
me: is this another shrek movie? whyyyy?
Lindsay: that is not necessary
9:41 PM i am so tired
9:42 PM hurry up, show
me: omg me too, this needs to end soon
i'm disturbed by this video
9:43 PM Lindsay: me too, my god
this poor child
HI ANNIE
9:45 PM yeah right, annie's totally in LA
but she's all, i'm not going to this thing, someone lie and say i'm overseas
me: haha
9:46 PM couldn't they have gotten a satellite hookup for her?
or are the satellites knocked out by the volcano too?
Lindsay: i have no clue, this volcano apparently is like the first sign of the apocalypse or something
LOL
me: ok i really feel like that's true
b/c we've had like 8000 major earthquakes this year
and the mayans said the world would end in 2012
9:47 PM Lindsay: AND there was a movie about it
me: lol exactly, so it must be true
john cusack said so
Lindsay: WWJCD
so wait, is this annie live?
9:48 PM me: i have no idea, i'm confused
is she on a screen?
Lindsay: but somewhere else?
yeah
but theres an orchestra
seacrest, we need you to explain
9:49 PM they cut michael johns on IGB two years ago
so hopefully aaron gets cut
me: oh i hope so
ok i love annie lennox & all but i'm falling asleep
Lindsay: i know, her segment was really long
9:50 PM its been nothing but annie for the past six minutes
i have an attention span of about 45 seconds, we need to move on
9:51 PM me: ugh seriously, shut up annie
where's the beiber?
lol
commercial for russell crowe's robin hood movie
i think he already made this movie, it was called gladiator
9:52 PM Lindsay: bwaaaa
ok, it's 9:52
let's take bets on when this thing is actually over
i say 10:04
me: i say 10:09
Lindsay: for both our sakes, i hope i'm right
LOL
me: haha me too
Lindsay: is this mary j finally?
me: travis barker?!?!?!
Lindsay: i dindt catch half those people
i heard orianthi
me: i heard randy jackson
god help all the dawgs
Lindsay: mary j, whats up with the shades
9:57 PM me: and her shoulder pads
Lindsay: and her general look
me: travis can't rock out to this, let's speed it up
me: way to wear a classy cut off tee, travis barker
Lindsay: and then THAT happened
LOL yeah seriously
speaking of trailer park
haha
randy doesnt even look like he's playing
orianthi can stay as long as she doesnt sing
me: he's just there so he can name drop next week
9:59 PM oh yeah, girl rocks at the guitar
Lindsay: this actually isn't the worst thing about tonight
me: i'm a little confused by all this
Lindsay: shit, i think we're gonna be closer to your cut off time
haha
me: dude i love travis barker SO MUCH
10:00 PM Lindsay: i read that the plane that crashed that he was on had faulty wheels or some shit
he should sue
me: oh really?
i think big mike was dancing in the background again
my DVR just stopped
Lindsay: wow, mary j is really sweaty
she should have left her glasses on
ewww
10:01 PM ANOTHER report??
me: omg another report?
Lindsay: COME ON
me: STOP THE MADNESS
we could've cut wanda sykes & the russell brand nonsense & ended this on time
Lindsay: whoever thought those were good bits should be fired immediately
10:02 PM this post is gonna be soooo long
LOL
me: well if this show wasn't so effing long...
10:04 PM 10:04, you lose
Lindsay: i lost, it's 10:04
HAAAAA
me: hahaha
Lindsay: this is bananas
HI BEN
me: show of handsome?
10:05 PM Lindsay: handsome!
me: this is the longest idol show EVER
Lindsay: WHY COMMERCIAL
WHY
casey and aaron have been on the stools for over an hour and a half
10:06 PM me: omg those poor guys
lol
i just realized we could potentially play the bruins next round
if we win, the flyers win, & the bruins pull off this upset
10:07 PM Lindsay: did the bruins win
me: no
just thinking way ahead, lol
Lindsay: damn, still OT
i just went and looked
me: it's almost to the end of the first OT
10:08 PM Lindsay: IT IS 10:08
IDOL, I AM SLEEPY
me: dang, i thought 10:09 was a long shot
Lindsay: i did too, hahaha
10:09 PM oh my god
still no results??
me: omg another performance
Lindsay: you have got to be shitting me
i mean, cool that elton johns there, but shit
me: this is so unnecessary
10:10 PM Lindsay: bbbbbbenny and the jets
elton's like, why are you asking me this shit? the show is running 10 minutes over already.
i cannot believe elton john still has to sing
me: omg queen is freaking out
Lindsay: i love this song though
its one of my top songs of all time
me: THIS FEELING INSIIIIIIIIIDE
10:12 PM i love when ewan mcgregor sings it in moulin rouge
Lindsay: elton john should have gone on around 9:15
its kind of a rip that he's going after the show is techically OVER
me: i know right?
anyone who DVRs this shit isn't seeing this
10:13 PM Lindsay: list of shit that could have been cut: wanda sykes, jonah hill and russell brand, the BEP
me: though i'm not sure why you'd put yourself through this pain unless you wrote a blog about it
amen, sister
Lindsay: also maybe alicia keys cause she sounded bad and her outfit was horrible
me: and half of george lopez's routine
10:14 PM Lindsay: oh yeah i forgot about that already
10:15 PM did you cut and paste any of this into the blog yet
me: not yet, i was gonna do it all at once
Lindsay: ok, this has to be it, right?
please don't go to commercial
just make the cut, seacrest
10:17 PM me: commercial
seacrest, i will hunt you down for this
Lindsay: DAMMIT
10:18 PM i really dont understand how a show can run 20+ minutes over
i know its live tv, but that is piss poor production, or something
10:20 PM me: i'm pretty sure my cat's reading my diary
10:21 PM Lindsay: god bless brittany
me: FINALLY
let's do this
Lindsay: if they end up not cutting anyone
i will be murderous
me: oh nooooo shania next week?
omg me too
Lindsay: man! i feel like a woman!
me: eff, aaron is safe
Lindsay: AARON IS SAFE??
aaargh
my mom will be sadcakes mcgee if casey goes
me: our moms will flip
Lindsay: hahaha
10:22 PM annnnd......
awww, timmy
me: boooooooooo
tim, take off your shirt before you go!
Lindsay: he grew on me
seriously
SHOW US YOUR PECS AND ABS
me: i know, i liked him near the end
Lindsay: NOW
i feel like we just ran a marathon
lol big mike, that was kinda funny
10:23 PM me: i honestly think this is the first exit video i've watched all season
Lindsay: me too, haha
he was never gonna win, but i still liked him
10:24 PM me: and, that's a wrap
Lindsay: until next year, IGFB, kiss our collective booties
Lindsay: until next year, IGFB, kiss our collective booties
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