That don't impress-a me much!

Man! I feel like a Seacrest. Welcome back to Idol, folks. Top six tonight, finally. And Idol Give F'ing Back is behind us. Woo! All downhill from here.

Tonight we're doing the music of...Shania Twain? Random. Last week when they said she was the mentor, I thought maybe it was just general country week but apparently we're being forced to sit through six straight Shania performances. I guess I didn't realize what an influential artist she was. I mean, who else delivered such lyrics like "I can't believe you kiss your car good night!"

Oy. Obligatory Shania montage. Looking good, lady. Ooh, not that sequined cardigan though. Very Chico's. Her hair's nice and big though. I can totes get on board with big hair.

Lee! Lee Dewyzeeeeeeeee! He's up first with "You're Still the One." I actually like this song. Lee could do a good job with this. He sounds more and more like Dave Matthews every week. CALL US LEE! I like this so far. He's changing it up enough so it sounds like Lee, but holding on to the original melody enough so that it's not weird. I'm probably biased though because I heart Lee real bad. Good feedback from the judges overall. Yay Lee!

Dear judges: quit bickering and bantering with each other and wasting time, because that's why Glee got cut off last week. KTHXBAI LOVE YOU MEAN IT.

Big Mike's up next. I hope he sings "Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under?" Is that a Shania song or did I make that up? ANYWAY, I don't think I know this song. "It Only Hurts When I'm Breathing" I think it's called. Meh. Mike is soooo predictable. He does have a very nice voice, but it's the same shit every week. Romantic love song, blah blah blah. He's got a crazy cool medallion on though. Objectively, this was very nice, but it just didn't do it for me, dawg. He gets some Luther Vandross comparisons, which is probably a pretty big deal for him.

Confession: I think Shania seems kind of cool and goofy and down to earth, and she would probably be fun to go get a drink with and gossip about people. I realize this probably makes me a giant dork, but I'm okay with that.

ANOTHER commercial? Jesus. We are totally running over again tonight. I hope people set their DVRs to run late for Glee. Casey's after the break. Was Shania there when Kara molested him in the auditions? I can't remember. He's singing "Don't" tonight. I don't know any of these songs. Apparently I am not well versed in the Shania catalog. His hair looks like....okay, you know how if you're trying to pick a new hairdo, there are those programs online where you upload your pic and you can put your face in different hairstyles? Casey's hair tonight looks like the standard "shoulder length blond curly" hairdo that you could pick.

Wow, I need a life. Anyway, Casey sounds decent enough. It sounds like he's singing right at the top of his range or something. Something's weird about it for me, I don't really love it, but the judges apparently all love it, so I'm clearly a moron. Wow, Simon and Randy call it the best performance he's ever done.

Next up we've got Crystal. What in the hayell is she going to sing? I hate Crystal's outfit. Blech. She's singing ANOTHER song I don't know "No One Needs to Know." I suck at Shania. Why is no one singing shit I know??? Dammit, guys. Wow, she's got a full band on stage with her tonight. Didgeridoo anyone? LOL. This is okay for Crystal, it's kind of different from her stuff she's been doing. I'm not a huge fan of it, maybe because I don't really know the song at all, but Crystal's always delivering solid stuff, and she's always gonna sound awesome.

Now it's Aaron's turn, which means Siobhan's got the PS. Interesting, she's kind of blown it the past few weeks, so wonder what she's got up her sleeve. Anyway, back to Aaron. I bet he sings "From This Moment." Also it's 8:44 and we've still got two contestants. SERIOUSLY Idol.

Blah, okay, Aaron. Damn, I missed on guessing his song. "You've Got a Way." I actually know this one! Aaron looks more and more boy band every week. Again like with Mike--totally predictable. He sounds kind of weak tonight. Maybe he's getting tired? It's like he can't make it to the end of the notes or something. I hope this is the last week for Aaron. Why are they all telling him it was good? That was crap, guys. I am way off tonight, apparently. Or else I'm so deeply entrenched in my Lee love that it's clouding the rest of this show.

Siobhan is closing out the show tonight with Shania's first number one song, which was "Any Man of Mine." Finally, something with some life. IF I CHANGE MY MIIIIIND, A MILLION TIMES. I hope she turns it around this week and doesn't suck and stops backtalking the judges. OMG what is her outfit?? I don't even know why I get shocked by Siobhan's outfits every week, but dayum. I think Kelly Kapowski wore this in an ep of Saved by the Bell.

This performance sucks. They only put her in the PS because it was the only up tempo song of the night. She was all over the place vocally, and she did that whole screaming thing at the end. Siobhan, I loved you once, but I think that time is over. It's the point where there's only room in my heart for one contestant, and his name is Lee Dewyze. Why are the judges telling her it was fantastic?? This was. Not. Good. Am I going deaf and don't realize it?

SIGH. Another mediocre night. At this point, I don't even know who the B3 will be. By my call, it should be Aaron, Siobhan and Mike, but we'll see tomorrow night. Brenna will take you through our results!