Wicked sad that Siobhan is gone.

Yeah, to be honest, I don't care all that much right now. The Capitals just lost ANOTHER game 7 at home. The Pens are now the top seed in the East. It's country night. All these things make me completely uninspired, but this... is American Idol. :)

Tonight we have your results, as well as performances by Rascal Flatts, Lady Antebellum, and... Shakira. One of these things is not like the other. Rascal Flatts is first, and I fast forward the shit out of that. I'm sorry, people, my interest in country music is way below sea level, and Rascal Flatts is up there with Nickelback on my list of worst bands in existence. You can Youtube it if you're interested (and I will judge the crap out of you).

Oh Lord, I think the FORD! commercial is something Twilight related. I am tempted to fast forward again, but Lee looks kinda hot and I think Siobhan is enjoying this a little too much. I do like this song too. But in reality, this has no influence whatsoever on whether I will buy a Ford at any point in my lifetime, and all it succeeds in me wanting is to watch the second season of True Blood.

Shrek 8,980 promo. What? It's only Shrek 4? Oh, I'm sorry. I'm also bored by this. So is Lee. Cameron Diaz and Antonio Banderas??? What? This is random. Cameron makes Ryan look like a dwarf. Next.

Results. Siobhan is up first. She was not good last night, y'all. She says wicked cool though, and the adopted Masshole in me loves her. She goes to one side of the stage. Aaron is next. I'm bored by his existence. He goes to the middle of the stage. Big Mike: over him. He's on the right side of the stage.

Sexvoice. Hey Linds... arms! ;) He was awesome last night, as per usual, and I'm with Linds wearing the Lee blinders. He's on the far side of the stage with Siobhan.  Casey and his bad perm join Big Mike. Crystal and her giant hat join Aaron in the center.

I love when they try to manufacture drama, and I realized 10 minutes ago this is going to be a "one of each of these two is in the bottom three and OMG who will it be?????" Anyone with half a brain knows that Crystal and Lee are fine. Seacrest actually does a cruel sort of musical chairs business and moves Siobhan over to Mike & Casey to make up the bottom 3, and I wonder HOW THE EFF IS AARON STILL ON THIS SHOW??? I hate preteens. They eff up this show every year.

Hey, Carrie Underwood! Are you enjoying your extra time with your fiance? She introduces some people called Sons of Sylvia, who I've never heard of, and they're so not what I was expecting them to be. I don't hate this song. It's sort of quasi-emo mixed with Airborne Toxic Event, if that makes any sense. Maybe I even kinda like this song. Even if the lead singer thinks he's Edward Cullen.

Time for Lady Antebellum and that song about drunk dialing and booty calls! Only in country music could this sound heartfelt, y'all. I actually don't hate this song, but this girl doesn't sound that great live... the guy though... dude, I love his voice. He's the sole reason I don't change the channel immediately when this comes on the radio.

The next performance confuses me so much that I'm not really sure where to begin. Shakira has a song that she is apparently singing with Rascal Flatts, and she is a gypsy, now she's singing with the obnoxious lead singer and maybe she's belly dancing, and now she's playing the harmonica, and at this point I wonder if I've had too many bubbletinis tonight and I'm just hallucinating all of this? I... don't... understand... oh, thank God, it's over. Why does Shakira look like Jessica Alba tonight?

Ok, back to the results. Big Mike is talking, blah blah blah, and then he is safe, and I think, dammit, I can't handle his schtick again next week. And then Lee gives him such man love that it makes me not mind all that much.

So we're down to Siobhan and Casey... and Siobhan is leaving us tonight. I can't say I'm surprised, though I will say I'm upset. When she was on, Siobhan easily had one of the most beautiful voices I've ever heard, but I do think she peaked too early (Paint It Black in week 1 was PHENOMENAL and will still be in my constant iTunes rotation) and sort of lost her way the rest of the season. She exits with a reprise of Think, and I have a feeling this isn't the last time we'll be hearing from the glassblower with the funky style. :)

Next week is Sinatra week with Harry Connick, Jr. as mentor. Which means, most likely, three of the five remaining contestants will ruin some of my favorite songs in history, and I will hope for the next six days that Lee sings One For My Baby and Mike does not sing Mack the Knife. Till then... good night!