So long, farewell.

Welcome, faithful readers. We've made it! I'm actually kind of looking forward to this debacle tonight, if only to hear Pants on the Ground one more time. This... is American Idol!


Wow, Chicago was a great audition city. I catch a glimpse of Katelyn along with our two finalists. (Katelyn was so robbed, you guys. I'm still pissed.) - HOLD UP PEOPLE MIKE FISHER IS HERE WITH CARRIE!!! MIKE YOU'RE SO HOT. CALL ME. - Anyways.The judges! I think Randy Jackson invaded Don Cherry's closet. Kara looks good. Tonight is the last night for Simon. So sad.

So for tonight's wardrobe theme, Idol has chosen "rejects from Hogwarts and/or the Constance Billard School for Girls." Let me just say, the look definitely works for Lee. Not so much for Aaron. Hey, it's your top 12 singing School's Out in the style of Glee, which sucks, because Glee would've done this so much better. Ok, now there's a creepy children's choir and ... Alice Cooper? Wow, already pulling out the stops tonight. Not even 10 minutes in the show and we've got pyrotechnics. This kinda rules. And Mike Fisher sighting #2! This is gonna be a good night.

Kris is here! I need to get his album still. Anyone have it? I think I like this song, which is called The Truth. Wow, did he always look this at ease as a performer? I think that's what was missing this year. Al and Kris and Adam always looked so comfortable. Kris, MSHBB loves you! Was that Kim Caldwell?

And our first tribute to Simon Cowell. Simon's hair used to be so fluffy. Hey, Paula! My all-time favorite Simonism might be when he told the girl that she sounded like a cat falling off the Empire State Building. Oh man, this show can not go on without him.

Siobhan & Aaron duet on How Deep is Your Love. Wow, they sound fantastic. I wish Siobhan hadn't crashed and burned so fast. And then... the Bee Gees appear! Barry effing Gibb! Talkin bout crazy cool medallions, people. When I'm watching these finales, I always wonder what the process is for planning the performances. Do they sit in a boardroom and just shout out names? (Aww, Jordin is singing with Matty G! I love all the old Idols in the audience tonight.) AND THE HOFF IS THERE! Yesss. Remember when he cried? I think it was the Davids year.

Big Mike is back, reminding me of all the ways he annoyed me this year. He's singing Takin it to the Streets with Michael McDonald. My general thoughts on this. 

Apparently Dane Cook is here next, putting Simon's best critiques to music. And then, good Lord, it is our national nightmare appearing on stage before us. The Brittenum twins, spirits still broken. Norman effing Gentle. The I am your brother guy. Tatiana. I think this all goes awry because they cut to commercial very quickly. That's what happens when you bring all the freaks back at once, Idol.

Lacey starts out singing Beautiful, joined by the rest of the girls. Didi looks hot, yo. They mostly sound terrible though, aside from Siobhan & Crystal. Hey, remember Katelyn? They move into Fighter, which sounds a million times better. Siobhan is rocking some cut out legging things, and girl looks fierce. And here's Christina, putting all these amateurs to shame. She sings some slow, sleepy song instead of the kick-ass Not Myself Tonight, but sounds gorgeous as usual. I still laugh about how everyone who knew her in high school said she smelled like hot dogs. Leanne, was that you? 

Ricky Gervais bids farewell to Simon, which is funny. The boys are up next, singing a medley of the songs that played on the radio station your mom listened to when you were growing up. This performance is presented to you by Tim Urban's arms. And then Hall & Oates sing that song that will forever & always make me thing only of (500) Days of Summer. I know I say this every year, but seriously Idol? Some relevant performers please?

Seacrest talks to Crystal's dad, who is wearing what appears to be a leather vest and leather cap. He is so cool. Crystal is singing Ironic, which suits her perfectly. She's totally rocking this. And Alanis is there!!! Yessss. And now she's singing You Outta Know. OMG, this is fantastic. My inner 13 year old is rocking out right now. I submit this for your consideration as best Idol finale duet ever. Any other contenders? Elliott and Mary J, perhaps?

The soon to be Mrs. Fisher is up next. Damn, she looks smokin. I want to be her. OMG, her fiddle player is wearing a top hat. This is great and all, but please show Mike again. I'm not settling for less than five Mike Fisher sightings tonight. Carrie rocks that song. I love her.

Awww, Kris and Lee are in the same room. That room is going to explode because of all the cuteness. Crystal and Lee get their FORDS!!! And, of course, one last FORD! commercial. Wouldn't be Idol without it.

Casey and his bad perm and flannel shirt are singing Every Rose Has Its Thorn. OMG, if there is a God, Bret Michaels is going to appear. AND HE IS!!! Pittsburgh is rocking this finale tonight, yo. Bret, we love you. This just went from awful to awesome real fast. And Casey looks like he's having a blast. That was fantastic. A+ on the duets so far tonight. I hope Lee doesn't get someone shitty.

And Lee gets stuck with... Chicago. Because he's from Chicago, I guess? Fail, Idol. Casey gets Bret effing Michaels and Lee gets Chicago? I was holding out hope that they flew in Dave Matthews for a duet of Crash Into Me, but I guess I'll have to settle for this instead. Hey, Aunt Becky is here! Oh noooooooo. Matt Rogers is the Idol reject they sent to Lee's hometown. I. HATED. Matt Rogers.

Another vignette on Simon's flirting. It's mildly amusing, but I think they did that just to have an excuse to show Bikini Girl again.

YESSSSSS. It is General Larry Platt. PANTS. ON. THE. GROUND. With backup dancers. Damn, the General can move. I love him. I love this. And then William Hung appears. And he is also rapping Pants on the Ground. Wow, I have no idea what just happened but it was kind of awesome.

Paula is here!!! We miss you Paula!!! And I think Simon is actually caught on camera saying "she looks good." Ha. She does. She rambles on & on about Simon, which gets a little awkward. Paula isn't as drunk as usual, but there's no way she's sober. Think about this rambling when it's 10:15 and we still don't know who won. They do a video montage next, which actually makes me really sad. Don't go, Simon!!!

And then Kelly struts out. And Ruuuuben!!!! And Fantasia!! And Carrie!! Oooh this is awesome. Jordin!! Taylor. Yikes. Kris!!! Where is Cookster??? And then a million past Idols from all the past seasons trot out - Blake, Justin Guarini, Michael Johns, Constantine, Archuleta, Elliott, Allison, Kim Caldwell. This is fantastic. And now I'm crying. Shit. When you ask me why I can't quit this show, I'll go back to this right here. But seriously, where is David Cook? And Jennifer Hudson? And Clay Aiken? I suppose people are bizzay, but if you're gonna do it, do it up. That was awesome anyways.

The next random guest of the evening is Janet Jackson. With a buzz cut. Her performance is generally boring, so I'll tell you about the day Michael Jackson died. Linds & I were at the spa, and there were all these conflicting reports so we weren't sure, was he dead or not dead, until we got in the car to go home and the DJ was playing a megamix of every MJ song that had ever existed. Then I think we watched CNN for the next four days straight. And OMG, Janet is still singing. She stops the boring song at least and we finally get some old school kick ass Janet dancing. OH YOU NASTY BOY. Paula should be out there dancing.

Flashback to Lee & Crystal's auditions. Remember when we didn't want Lee to get through because his name was hard to type? Sorry about that, Lee. At least we didn't think you were a pervert like Cookster. Awww, they're singing I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends. How many pairs of Converse sneakers do you think Lee has? And then Joe Cocker appears, ruining the whole damn thing. I think the average age of the performers tonight has been 68. Lee still maintains an aura of awesomeness throughout, though.

Annnnd...... results time! Lee looks like he's going to pass out. He's crying already. This is adorable. And your winner is..... LEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! Man, there have been upsets three years running. This is fantastic, he is so genuinely ecstatic. This is why this damn show sucks us back in, year after year.

So we say we're quitting next year... so this should be the last entry of MSHBB. It's been a blast! MSHBB... out.

It's the FINAL COUNTDOWN!

Do do do dooooo! Do do do do doooo! I can't believe we finally made it. At the beginning of the season, it felt like we'd never get here, for real. The top 24 was ROUGH. And also, I said I hoped Lee would be out the first week because his name was annoying to type. Sorry buddy!

Obligatory opening montage with Lee and Crystal's audition videos, talking about being the next American Idol. Blah blah blah, it all comes down to THIS, yadda yadda. I think it's cute how Ryan's always like "My name is Ryan Seacrest"--way to keep it real, Ry.

Simon's busted out the blazer, as he is wont to do on finale night and IGFB night. Weird entrance from the audience for Lee and Crystal, I think there was a technical difficulty there. Three rounds tonight--contestant's choice (favorite of the season), Simon Fuller's choice, and the cornation song. Barftastic. Crystal won the coin toss and picked to go second, so after the break, we get Leeeeeeeee!!

Interview with Lee's cute parents. LOL and baseball card pictures. I love his parents. I think they just seem so normal and cool. His choice for tonight is "The Boxer", from effing Inspirational songs week. It's kind of hard to critique stuff they've already done. Lee looks smokin' tonight. I loved this when he did it in inspiration week, and it's good tonight, but isn't really WOW. It's kind of a sleepy song. Hopefully he rocks out with whatever Fuller chose, because you know the cornation is gonna be lame.

Interview with Crystal's sweet dad. Really awkward pics of past Crystal, LOL. Tonight she picked to redo"Me and Bobby McGee" from Billboard 100 week. I don't remember this performance, sadly. Sorry CBow! Same with Crystal here...she sounds awesome, but I don't really know if this song is killer. This is probably gonna be the theme all night though, because both these contestants are that "coffee house" grungy kind of sound. There's no Glambert here with platform boots and spiky costumes to blow the roof off the joint.

After the break, we've got Lee doing Simon Fuller's choice. What happened to old Clive Davis? He hasn't been around since two years ago, when he made one of the Davids sing "Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me" for the fourth year in a row. GOD, Clive.

Anyway, "Everybody Hurts" for Lee...seriously? This reminds me of that ep of the Office when Dwight was mad that Michael liked Ryan better, so he sat in his car and listened to this. I love Lee so bad, but I am not feeling this. He actually went kind of flat in the middle there, ouch. Lee totally got the shaft from Simon Fuller. BOOOOO. I disagree with Simon that this was a brilliant song choice. I'm sorry, but I think this song is so whiny. REM fans, go ahead and bash me.

Fuller chose "Black Velvet" for Crystal. I mean, could these picks get any more trite? Simon Fuller sucks. I mean, Crystal will probably work the hell out of this song, but it's just so....blech. She starts out Lambert-style on the stairs all lit up in red. I like this better than her first song, but this song...God. Simon tells her she nailed it, which is technically true. She brought it this round fo sho. I just wish they had picked something less lame for her to nail. That probably makes no sense.

Coronation round. I wonder if they are singing the same one this year? Some years I think it's the same and other years it's different. OK, I'm lost. So he's not singing some lame song that someone wrote? He'll release U2's "Beautiful Day"? Idol's changin' it up! He sounds pretty great, finally, but I'm still all confuzzled about the change in plans LOL. He finished strong at least, that was really awesome. I still love you Lee!

So WTF is Crystal going to sing then? This show has turned me upside down! She's doing "Up the the Mountain." I don't know this song. I Googled it, apparently Susan Boyle has covered it, as has KClarkson. Crystal is working it. The song sounds awesome, and she's really into it. Her voice is so super great, guys. I mean, based on tonight, she totally deserves to win. I enjoy both of them, and I do love Lee, but I think Crystal may have edged him tonight.

We end tonight with a "tribute" to this season sung by Will Young, who won something British. Oh okay, his song was the goodbye song every Wednesday, got it. LOL. I think it's called "Leave Right Now." Hey, the top 12 is back on stage! Sup guys?

Tomorrow is going to be really interesting! And this is my last blog posting, I just realized! We're going to shut 'er down after this season, because let's face it, it's gonna suck when Simon's gone. Tomorrow night we have our YOOOOGE finale, and Bren will take you through the results! It's been a pleasure blogging for all of you--Lindsay OUT.

Talent FTW!

I got home a little late tonight & didn't get to rewind, but I highly doubt I missed anything more than a dramatic opening montage & Seacrest being all "BIGGEST MOMENT OF THEIR LIVES BEST SEASON EVER BLAAAAAH THIS.............. is American Idol." I turn it on just in time to see the FORD! video. Wow, I'm glad these shows are an hour.

Casey goes home to Texas. Apparently there are women aside from Kara that find him attractive. Who knew. He goes to his high school, which I'm pretty sure is the high school from Varsity Blues. Some girls chase his limo. Oh, girls, you're so adorable. Casey next goes to the hospital where he went after he was in a terrible accident. The doctors and nurses are like, can you please let us do our job? We voted for Lee.

Something called a Travis Garland is on performing his new single. Oh that's right, the BEIBER is on tonight. I hope I didn't miss him. The Garland is dancing and there's a split screen and this song really sucks.

Crystal goes home. Sorry, I don't actually pay the tiniest bit of attention to her segment. I'm sure it's lovely and there is crying and lots of general Ohio-ness, but I get a phone call and I'm watching on the non-DVR TV. Sorry, bloggers.

Lee goes home. He throws out the first pitch at a Cubs game. Lee, honey, I hope you're not a Blackhawks fan. We will have issues if you are, because I can't date a guy who cheers for Marian Hossa. We'll have to work on that. ;) Anyways, fantasy world is over. Lee gets super emotional and visits his paint store and his elementary school and people generally love him just like Lindsay & I love him. He is so freaking adorable.

BEIBER!! Why is he so appealing? No, really. Someone please tell me, because I love him and I have no idea why.

Finally, results time.

LEE AND CRYSTAL LEE AND CRYSTAL LEE AND CRYSTAL WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Thank God. Seriously, people, I was gonna quit this show if it was any other result. There is no way in hell that Casey should even be considered in the same breath as my boy Lee and our girl Crystal. Talent triumphs over really bad hair! Crystal pretty much attacks Lee after her name is announced. Awww, they're besties. Casey sings. He sucks. I don't care. I think he steals a small child from someone in the audience.

So next week we have the big finale. Somewhere along the line I started caring about this show again and loving Lee and dammit Idol, I wanted to quit you after this season. Oh well, this is what this show does, year after year. Lee DeWyze FTW!

Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Top threeeeeee! I can't believe we're finally here. Who would have ever thought Casey would slip under the radar and make it to the final three, seriously? Bad perm and denim on denim and all. THIS is American Idol!

So tonight our top three are singing two songs. One is their choice, one is the judges' choice. I guess they didn't bother to unfreeze Clive Davis this year for him to make a pick? Even though I think every year he picks something like "I Believe I Can Fly" for someone. So in short: not really missing Clive this year.

Casey's up first. He chose "OK, It's All Right With Me" by Eric Hutchinson. I have no idea what this song sounds like, or who Eric Hutchinson is. He's wearing a shirt that looks like bad 70's drapes under his blazer, woof. I don't actually hate this. It's okay, but not really fabulous . But obviously, Casey's not my favorite, so I don't LOVE it. The judges all hated it, and you can tell by the lack of boos coming from the audience that they all agree with them.

Crystal's up next. She chose "Come to My Window" by Melissa Ethridge. OK, I love this song, and I think it's a good choice for Crystal and she'll nail it, but it's been a little overdone on this show. That said, I'm expecting something great from her. It's predictably awesome. A little subdued, but that's pretty much Crystal. She's so radio ready, the competition is just moot at this point. She sounds the best on the bridge. That's my favorite part of the song anyway LOL. The judges' feedback = kind of weak. Is everyone just phoning it in now? Even Crystal and Casey seemed over it.

Lee's in the pimp spot, as he should be. Sidebar: Brenna and I went back to try to pinpoint when we fell in love with Lee, and we determined it was the week he sang "Treat Her Like a Lady"--I know you were all dying to know that. ANYWAY, Lee looks like he doesn't quite know what to make of all the women screaming at him, which is adorable. He's singing Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Simple Man." AWESOME song choice. Really really dope. Go, Lee. And I just saw a sign that said "Lee is DeWyze Choice" and it made me LOL. This is phenominal. He looks like a total rock star right now. Raves all around from the judges. Hell yes, Lee.

Round two is judges' choice. The spoilers for these songs have been all over the internet for a week now, but I'll pretend like I didn't know anything. Last week, Casey went to Texas. And got his texted song choice in front of an AT&T store. Nice placement, show. Randy and Kara picked the song for Casey and they chose "Daughters" by John Mayer. Wouldn't this song totally have been appropriate for Big Mike? LOL. This is actually the best I think his voice has sounded in a while. He doesn't look totally comfortable, but he sounds pretty good, I think.

Up next is Crystal's trip home to Ohio. She also got her text in front of an AT&T store, from "Ellen", and she picked "Maybe I'm Amazed" by Paul McCartney. Good song! Her voice sounds really pretty at the beginning, really clear and pure and not all raspy. I know that's her thing and her sound but it's nice to hear her open up with something a little sweeter. No guitar for her this round. Wow, she is killing this. Good choice, Ellen, and good job Crystal!!! I mean, seriously, if the final two isn't Lee and Crystal, there's something wrong.

Finally, we get to see Lee back home in Illinois. And let me guess, he got his text from Simon in front of an AT&T store? That's so annoying, gawd. Anyway, Simon picked Jeff Buckley's "Hallelujah," which is interesting, since it's already been done once this season, and has been done many times over the course of the show. Come on, Lee. Let's do this. Knock it out of the park. Wow, he gets a backup choir??? Awesome. I love love love love this. He changes the song juuuust enough to make it his. I may or may not have had an emotional experience watching this performance. I'm not going to disclose that. OMG and Lee's totally crying. See, it's shit like this that makes me keep coming back to this show, no matter how much I bitch about it.

So obviously, Lee and Crystal deserve to be in the final two. I mean, mad props to Casey for getting as far as he did. I didn't hate him, but his time is up. I'm going to vote for the first time this season. LEE FTW. Brenna will have your results tomorrow night which include BIEBER FEVER, hahahaha. Yessssss. Nice job, tonight, gang!

So long, Big Mike.

Results show time! This will be the quickest blog ever because we were too busy last night getting our hearts ripped out by French Canadians and today I've got stuff to do, yo. You're stuck with me today because of DVR issues for our dear Ms. Beck.

Tonight we have Daughtry (woo!), Bon Jovi (woo!), and Fantasia (one of these things is not like the other). Fantasia is up first. Was never a fan, fast-forward.

So this is an important week because the top 3 get to go visit home. Cue the montage of hometown visits by past Idols!! Aw, hi Kris! Hi Carrie! Hi Cookster! Hi Elliott! Ew, Soul Patrol. Hi Jordin! Go away, Archuleta. Hi again Elliott!!!! I heart you. Ew, Gokey. Awwww Ruuuuuuuben. Aw, Cookster crying. Bo crying. Fantasia crying. Everyone crying. Elliott's mom! Love her. BLAKE! I miss you. Hi Clay, when you weren't obnoxious and weird!

Seacrest talks to everyone about being home. Fast forward. The contestants' families are on stage. That's a little sick, Idol. Ha. I feel bad for the family who's gonna be bawling in front of everyone on national tv.

Results time. Damn, Lee, when did you get so hot? Our first member of the top 3 is... Casey. Cougars everywhere rejoice.

DAUGHTRY. I don't know this song. I need to buy his new album, anyone have it? Worth it? I like this song. Daughtry sounds awesome. Hey America, remember how Taylor Hicks won that season? And Katherine McPhee was runner up? HOW DID THAT HAPPEN???? Also, can someone please put together an Idol alum tour consisting of Daughtry, Cookster, Kris, & Lee? Thanks. Also, can we discuss how short he is? He's Seacrest short.

More results. The next member of our top 3 is... LEE!!! WOOOOOOOO. Our boy is headed home to Chicago. Hey Lee, pass along a message to Marian Hossa for us & tell him to suck it. Thanks. Also, Lee's parents are adorable.

BON JOVI. Still awesome after all these years.

And the final results. Seriously, when did Lee get SO HOT? We close out our top 3 with Crystal, which, THANK GOD, we would have seriously shut this blog down if it wasn't her. Mike is going home, finally. We already tried sending him home weeks ago. He joins the legacy of Danny Gokey as someone who we loved at first and eventually became the most annoying contestant of the season.

So there's your top 3, folks. Pencil in Lee & Crystal for the finale. Almost there! Woo! Time for me to graduate! Bye.

"What's Free Willy about? Is it about a willy?"

The end is near! Two weeks from tomorrow, Idol 2010 will be crowned. If at any point in time before that night Lee or Crystal is sent packing, we're closing up this blog early and quitting this show altogether. This... is American Idol.

Your top 4 are singing songs from the movies with Jamie Foxx, who as I recall was not that great of a mentor the first time around, but whatev.We get one individual performance from each and two duets, so yay for double DeWeezy tonight! Let's get this party started. Jamie is here with some shirts that say "contestant" and "artist" and apparently he's giving these to the four performers tonight? He rambles along with Seacrest for awhile, and we'll all remember this at 9:05 when they're still singing and delaying Glee.

Lee is up first!!! My boy is singing Kiss From A Rose. Jamie actually references the Gokey during his mentoring session, which makes me want to throw something at my TV. It's really not the best song choice, and his performance is not the best he's ever done. In fact, it's not all that great, but... OMG, is that a smile? And did he just look into the camera? Is Lee actually looking comfortable on stage right now? The judges didn't like it. Lee looks sad. Is he a little teary? OMG I want to give him a hug. Call us Lee! We're still voting for you.

Mike is next, singing...... the flipping Free Willy song. Of all the songs available, he chooses the song from FREE FREAKING WILLY. I can not take this seriously. He's becoming the reincarnation of Danny Gokey inside a large black man. Oh no, now the backup singers are marching down the stairs and I feel like I'm trapped inside an SNL parody of a Glee performance. That. sucked. really. really. bad. And then Simon actually literally asks what Free Willy is about, which then leads to one of the funniest exchanges I've ever seen on this show and kinda makes me forget just how much I hate Mike now.

Our first duet of the evening belongs to Lee & Crystal. Please please please, guys, rock my world.

And world sufficiently rocked. They sing Falling Slowly, which is a song I absolutely freaking ADORE, and it is AMAZING, and they are both PHENOMENAL, and I am literally speechless right now. I have legit goosebumps. Ok, let me try to formulate actual sentences... basically, the song is a gorgeous song to begin with, and both of them sounded perfect, and their voices matched each other perfectly, and I might have been imagining being Crystal and what it would be like for Lee to serenade me just a little bit. Seriously, wow. The show can just end right now.

Instead we have Casey singing Mrs. Robinson. Ugh, this is such a let down after Crystal & Lee. It's like going from the juiciest tastiest steak you've ever had to a McDonald's hamburger. And he has a ukelele. And we're back to Kara being a cougar and lots of inappropriate conversation. I'm so over him. I'd rather Mike go home, but I'd definitely be ok with Casey and his bad perm instead.

Crystal is singing the song from Caddy Shack. I love her for that. What more can I say about Crystal? She sounded amazing as usual, and I actually really loved that song for her. And she looked and sounded like she was having fun. Again, it's not the best Crystal performance I've ever seen, but apparently Crystal's boyfriend enjoys wearing American flag printed MC Hammer pants, so bonus points for that.

In the pimp spot is Mike & Casey singing Have You Ever Loved a Woman. Of course. Because Mike can't pass up a song about love and women and all that BS. Casey sounds like a goat. Mike tries to make love to his guitar and fails miserably. They "hit" an absolutely atrocious note in there somewhere along the way and I really just wish it was Lee & Crystal were in the pimp spot instead of this disaster. The judges all fall all over it though, except for Ellen, who offers no critique except for, "why yes, I actually have loved a woman."

So to wrap it up, Lee was a little subpar on his own but made absolute magic with Crystal. My annoyance with Mike reached new levels. Casey wouldn't be here if Kara didn't want to jump his bones. Crystal rocked as usual. Let's just vote off Mike & Casey right now and have the finale we're all waiting for next week. And also, Lee needs to come to Amherst and serenade me, stat.

Tomorrow night = BON JOVI and DAUGHTRY. Lindsay will be trying to remain coherent and blog that for you. Good night!

Marry me, Harry.

Previously on American Idol: Harry Connick Jr. was the best guest ever. Everyone cleaned up real nice, except Casey, who looked like he raided Chuck Bass's leftovers and got dressed in the dark. Wow, Seacrest is ON something tonight. Look at his hair! His crazy eyes! He's yelling at us like a crazy person on a street corner.

OK, how psyched am I that Lady GaGa is performing?? Brenna and I were discussing earlier today how awesome it would be if she and HCJ performed together. He'd come out all suave and hawt in a tux and she'd have like blood dripping off her hair and be wearing a crazy mask and a cape and shit.

Sinatra medley. Mike, lose the fedora, for real. Wow, Crystal looks smokin' in that tux. And I'm not being sarcastic either. Aaron looks like he should be going to prom. Hey, maybe if we boot him off tonight, he'll be able to go to prom! YAY! :P

Next week's theme is songs from the cinema with mentor Jamie Foxx. Yay? Didn't he already mentor one time? I thought he sucked. Someone remind me. FORD! video this week is that Plain White Tees song that's not "Hey There Delilah."

Now we've got a video of the contestants talking about what their Tuesdays used to be like. Riveting. OK, Crystal and Mike do have really cute kids. Did you know they have judge stand-ins during dress rehearsals? That was actually kind of cool to learn.

I'm sorry, Mike just looks really stupid tonight. His fedora is too new, or something...it looks stiff and weird. Time for some results. Let's do this, Seacrest. Lee is totally rocking the tux with the untied tie that Bren and I were hoping for last night. At least we got that look, if one night late, LOL. YAY Lee is safe! I totally don't give a rip about the rest of these results right now. Aww, I think Lee's crying. We love you Leeeeeeeeeeee!!!

After commercials, it's GAGA TIME. She's doing "Alejandro," which is her newest song but I have to say is not my favorite song of hers. They can't all be "Bad Romance," right? I still love her. OK, her ensemble this evening is like, a fishnet bodysuit with thigh high sparkly black stockings, underwear and bra. She has some kind of crazy black cape/veil thing over her face. Not the craziest thing she's ever worn, but this is supposed to be a family show I guess LOL. If this were anyone else it would be insane, but for GaGa it's tame. I wish HCJ had come out randomly in the middle to sing with her.

Footage of the contestants with HCJ. He is so effing hilarious. This is my favorite montage on this show ever. I cannot stop laughing at this. I might rewind this and watch it again. They should boot Randy off the panel and replace him with Harry. I'm emailing Seacrest about that. And now it's time for his performance. He's not wearing a fishnet bodysuit, but it's classic Harry. I might write him a poem.

Medley of his songs now, the contestants accompanied by Harry on the piano. He's like the most hands-on guest the show's ever had, seriously. Like when Mariah mentored that one time, I don't think she even was at the performance show. She showed up on Wednesday and sang her song with her rhinestone mike and got the hell out. HCJ FTW.

Time for more results. Ryan splits Crystal and Casey into a pair and Mike and Aaron into a pair. Someone's safe and the rest are the B3, I guess? Awww Ryan's making Lee choose the "safe" group...come on Ryan, give that shit up. LMAO Lee doesn't even know what's going on or what Ryan wants him to do. Bless his little heart. Okay, bottom two is Mike and Aaron. Crystal and Casey are safe. I'm actually a little stunned, I thought Casey blew it hard last night.

So who's going home? Aaaaaaaaaaaand, it's finally Aaron. Whew. This has been several weeks over due. I mean, cute kid, decent enough voice but not Idol winner material. I bet it was the Tripp Van der Bilt outfit last night that did him in. Bye Aaron! Hope you get to go to prom!

Next week, we'll take you through the top four singing movie songs and suffering through Jamie Foxx's "mentoring." Should be an awesome time!

When Harry met Lee.

Warning, yinz guys. I'm a total dork when it comes to the standards, Mr. Francis Sinatra in particular. So what's better than Sinatra night on Idol? Sinatra night PLUS Harry Connick Jr. Hello, Harry. This... is American Idol.

So, HCJ is here not only to mentor the Idols tonight but to arrange their songs for the week AND play the piano for them. This is all kinda awesome, especially because 3/5 of this top 5 needs some assistance in being creative. HCJ is kinda funny too. And he's a Saints fan, and since I was a bandwagon Saints fan (or more so just a Drew Brees fan) I feel a connection with him. Did you guys ever see the report when HCJ met Drew? It was adorable. Hey, I found it for you to watch. :)

Aaron is up first, and HCJ is already an awesome mentor. Aaron is singing Fly Me to the Moon in the style of Tripp van der Bilt. What? That's just his wardrobe? Oh, ok. This would be good if it was my high school chorus concert in 1999, but it's not, it's American Idol, so it's dreadfully boring and basically all around sucky. Randy & Ellen kinda like it, and Kara references last week, but to be honest I can't even remember what he sang last week.

Casey is next, and his hair is all slicked back, which kinda grosses me out. He's singing Blue Skies. Seriously guys, HCJ is hilarious. Someone give him a TV show. Once Casey starts singing, I think he's trying to make love to the camera in a weird Constantine sort of way. He loses the guitar tonight and looks super uncomfortable without it. Ouch, this is bad. Like, really bad. So bad that Kara compares his voice to a lamb.

Crystal, our lone female remaining, is singing Summer Wind, which I'm not terribly familiar with. She looks fabulous though, all dolled up in a black lacey gown, and she sounds absolutely fantastic. This might be one of my favorite performances of hers, and the first time in awhile I've been completely transfixed by her again. These songs are all so good that they can make anyone sound good, but only someone great can make it sound interesting. The judges are all a little iffy, but I say well done, Crystal. Loved it.

Oh good Lord, Mike is wearing a fedora. OF COURSE he's wearing a fedora. He is so predictable. He's singing The Way You Look Tonight, aka the song everyone knew he would do. $10 says Simon busts out the wedding singer comparison. OMG, this is so cheesy. I'm so over Mike & ready for him to go home. I'm serious, if I wasn't blogging I'd be fast forwarding to Lee right now. But I owe this much to you, dear readers (all four of you). Apparently I'm deaf and blind though, because the judges all gush all over him.

And in the pimp spot tonight, ladies and gentlemen, one Mr. Lee DeWyze. He's singing That's Life, and.... oh.... my..... God.... wow. That was so awesome. I can't even type because I'm enjoying this entirely too much. The judges love it, and HCJ loves it, and you can tell there's a lot of man love going on between Lee & HCJ right now, which makes me think things that aren't exactly appropriate to write on this family friendly blog. ;)

So, to wrap up tonight: Aaron should be auditioning for High School Musical 985. I forgot about Casey already. Crystal looked stunning & proved she's already too good for all of this. Mike made me want to actually watch a performance by the musical troupes at Kennywood because they'd actually be less annoying. And watch out Cookster, Blake, Elliott & Daughtry: you've got some serious competition in the mind of one MSHBB blogger.

Tomorrow: HCJ and Lady Gaga. Potential to knock the Ke$ha show off its best results show ever pedestal. Linds will take that one for you. Sweet dreams of HCJ and jazz. ;)