To start with, tonight, we get an absolutely awful montage of Idol mixed with Clash of the Titans, which a) looks like a terrible movie to begin with, and b) makes me hate this results show already. Hey, remember when Ke$ha was here? Dammit.
Instead, tonight we have Ruuuuuuuuuuuben, singing a song whose title is so incredibly stupid that I don't even write it down. Ruben seems so dated now, coming from the pre-Blake, pre-Daughtry, pre-Cookster, pre-Lambert era of this show. It's hilarious now to me that I used to set my VCR to record that season. And hey, remember when Clay Aiken wasn't obnoxious? Oh, those were the days. LOL, Ruuuuuuben is apparently now a vegan and has lost a ton of weight and yet still makes Seacrest look tiny. He even BIG MIKE looks tiny!
OMG. RUBEN AND CLAY ARE ON TOUR TOGETHER. LINDSAY, WE NEED TO GO TO THAT!!!!
The FORD! video this week is Kung Fu fighting. Dumb. Next.
Some witty banter with the idols, then some stupid report about that stupid Clash of the Titans movie with the cast that I've never heard of before. Let's just get to the results already.
Lee is first. He's gotta be safe, right? Obviously. He & his hot leather jacket are still here next week. Casey is incredibly boring when he talks, and still safe. Aaron is 16, has never been in love (obviously). Simon & Ryan bicker incessantly for no real reason. This show could easily be 15 minutes long. Aaron is safe. Siobhan & Katie stand up together. Oh noooo this makes me nervous. Blah blah blah, chatter chatter chatter, annnnd Katie is in the bottom three. HALLELUJAH. Siobhan starts bawling. Oh, girl, you are making me so sad... Katie deserves to be there, and you know that.
Hey, Justin Beiber is in the audience! OMG, he sounds like a girl. And Usher apparently mentored him? I'm so thoroughly confused right now. What is up with these kids today? Usher takes the stage with a harem of dancers, and I'm pretty sure he stole his jacket from Chuck Bass. I thought I knew this song, but then I realized I actually thoguht it was another one, because this song sounds like every other hip hop song out there right now. Oh hey, Will I Am. Or will.i.am? Or WiLlIaM? I have no idea how he does his name. I'm too old for this music.
Back to the results. Didi is up next, and she's in the bottom three. I can't say I'm surprised, but I will be sad if she goes home, because I think she's capable of so much more than she's given us so far. Seacrest tries to tease Big Mike, who is obviously safe, so Big Mike literally picks up Seacrest over his head, which was funny the first time he did it.
Crystal is safe, and she also, rather amusingly, offers to pick up Seacrest. So we're down to Tim & Andrew. Andrew is safe, and Tim is in the bottom three, probably because he still hasn't figured out he should take off his shirt. Seacrest sends Katie back to safety, so we're down to Didi and Tim... seriously, America? I know Didi has had some off weeks, but I'll be kinda pissed if Didi goes home before a few other people on this show.
Um, Diddy is here. Perhaps he was tired of other people having all the fun singing about how they wake up feeling like him? He is performing some song called Hello Good Morning. I spend most of the song trying to figure out it it's the chorus or a verse or what these random girls are saying. This song is TERRIBLE, even by Diddy standards. I have no idea what just happened.
So, results time. Going home is... Didi. BOOOO AMERICA. I know you want to wait & see if Tim will finally sing naked, but he's not going to, and Didi can, you know, actually sing. Oh man, I'm nervous for her, she is not one to excel under the pressure of THE SAVE. She busts out the Stevie Nicks and sounds quite good, and will the judges save her? I don't know, because MY EFFING DVR STOPS RECORDING. Hey Idol producers! Remember when you thought there was so little going on in this show that Seacrest talked to Katie for 10 minutes about whether she should listen to Kara or Simon? YOU STILL COULDN'T FIT ALL THIS SHIT INTO AN HOUR.
Thanks to Randi, who actually watched this crap live, I find out that Didi was not saved, so we are spared the complete breakdown of Brooke 2.0. Unfortunately, that also means more Tim and Katie. Ugh. Whatever theme is next week, which I don't know because again, MY DVR CUT OFF, we'll be here next week. Same place, same time. MSHBB... out.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
These are my CONFESSIONS
JustwhenIthoughtIsaidallIcouldsaymychickonthesidesaidshegotoneontheway. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, our guest mentor tonight is none other than Urshur. Remember when he got married and then he wasn't married, then he got married for real and now he's divorced? YEAH YEAH! Also if you haven't already seen it, please watch this.
Earlier this week, Bren and I reviewed the list of songs that the contestants could choose from and tried to predict some. Let's see how close we got. This opening shit with Seacrest is stupid. Get on with it already, it's 8:06. These eps do not need to be two hours right now.
Ooh Siobhan's first? Well, I guess she had the pimp spot last week, so fair's fair. I love that she's an Usher fan. She's singing "Through the Fire", which I don't believe I know but is a Chaka Khan song. OMG guys, her outfit. I so love her. She's my Allison of this year so bad. Shit, but her song isn't good. It's boring and she's a lil pitchy dawg. She is so much better than this. The judges are going to rip her apart. Shit shit shit. I'm gonna vote like mad for her because I know she can do better.
What the hell is this?? Footage of Siobhan backstage crying in the green room? EPIC FAIL, Idol. We don't want or need to see that. God, could you imagine if they had this last year, with effing Gokey making heart hands all over the place? Shudder.
After the break we get Casey James with Usher. Which, Casey doesn't own a TV or something, so he probably doesn't know who he is. He's singing "Hold On", which is pretty predictable. And it's never been performed on Idol, which surprised me a little. He sounds pretty good, but I'm pretty meh on Casey for the most part. Also I think he may have forgotten some words. Everyone's wooing for him. He's pretty consistent week after week, but he's not my favorite. Why does Randy have a white elephant brooch on?
Shocker, Big Mike Lynche picked a love song. Hey, did you know he's married with a newborn baby? Just wanted to pass on the info! OK, he's singing one of my favorite songs, "Ready for Love" by India Arie. Even though I've been over Mike these past few weeks, I will probably love this. Love it, but won't vote for it. LOL. I like Mike like this...chilling, with the guitar, just singing, not trying to dance and be all lounge lizardy. Do it, Big Mike.
I hate this backstage cam. GO AWAY. We don't need this vantage point. Anyway, we've got Didi Benami up next, and apparently she got "emotional" with Usher. She just wanna take it nice and sloooow! Ok, she's singing "What Becomes of the Broken Hearted", which was totally part of a Motown medley we did in show choir one year. The moves were like, step to the left, step to the right, sweeping arm gesture, arms crossed over chest. It was bad ass.
Ahem. I got away from myself there. Anyway, Didi got emotional in her rehearsal, so hopefully she keeps it together here. She's descending into Brooke White more and more each week, so I'm just waiting for her to stop singing and ask to start over. OK, what the hell is she wearing? Was she going for Vegas performance with this one? This is weird, and I normally like Didi. I didn't get it at all. OMG RYAN. She doesn't want to say why she's singing the damn song!! SHE IS NOT GOKEY.
GAWD. I'm exhausted after that one. Up next we have Tim Urban. He looks cute tonight. He's singing "Sweet Love" by Anita Baker. I don't think I know this, but maybe if I hear the whole thing, it'll sound familiar. Ohhh wait, I know this song. Weird choice, but then Tim's a weird guy. Built like a brick shithouse, apparently, but weird. This isn't half bad, for Tim. It's not great, but I don't think it's the worst either. Ellen is kind of funny, talking about how people made a drinking game of her calling him adorable. But he IS, Ellen! Also take off your shirt. Tim, not Ellen.
After the break, we've got Neck Tattoo (tm Koz) aka Andrew Garcia. He's going to be doing an AGarc cover of "Forever" by Chris Brown. I'm not gonna lie, I loved this song before Chris Brown became a criminal. Also: that YouTube video. I think this is the best Andrew's sounded in a long time. He looks totally on and into it, and not uncomfortable. Last week he looked totally awkward. The judges are going to be all over his shit because that was exactly like "Straight Up." OMG his mom is CA-RAZY. Simma, Andrew's mom!
Time for Katie Stevens. She tells a totally boring story about how she met Usher at Epcot one time. Big deal, Katie, my husband and I totally met BRIAN DENNEHY at Epcot one time! True story...LMAO. She's singing "Chain of Fools" and seriously? Why is she an old lady? Aren't there any contemporary R&B songs she could have sang? Sigh. If Katie got cut, I would not miss her. Truth be told, she sounds pretty good, but this is another one of those songs that's been done on here a million times. Randy compares her to "a young Christina" which....sorry, I don't hear it.
Has there been a commercial after EVERY single performance?? God.
Up next is our boy Lee Dewyze. His name still has not gotten easier to type. He has walking pneumonia?? WTF are they doing to these people? He's singing "Treat Her Like a Lady", accompanying himself on guitar. I love Lee's voice so bad. I can't wait for this performance, Urshur loves him. This. Is. AMAZING. OMG you guys, I want to marry this performance. Sorry Adam! Lee absolutely killed this...way to go, buddy! I feel like Lee would want us to call him buddy, right? WOOO!
TWO WEEKS UNTIL NEW GLEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
After the break, we've got Crystal Bowersox. No guitar this week, but aha! She'll be at the piano. You go, Crystal B. Doing "Midnight Train to Georgia", which could be cool, because she won't cheese it up. She's cute with Usher. This starts out really awesome, just Crystal, piano, and the backup ladies. I like her outfit too. You can't deny that she's got a fantastic instrument here. Ooh, the falsetto's a little weird, but the rest of it was pretty great, if a little less "Crystal" than we've been used to. Ryan's SO WEIRD tonight. Is he on speed or acid or something? Jesus, Seacrest.
In the pimp spot is...Aaron Kelly? That's bizarre. Oooh, and doing "Ain't No Sunshine"--dude, Kris just did this last season, and killed it, so I would not go there. But really, what the hell else was Aaron going to sing this week? Usher makes him go over the "I know, I know" part a bunch, and his critique actually makes sense. Go Mr. Raymond. Aaron sounds nervous as hell. I mean, this is fine and all, but why the F wasn't Lee in the pimp spot? That would have been a hell of a way to close a show. No offense, Aaron.
So recap of the night: Siobhan tanked and will probably be in the B3 unfortunately; Casey sounded like he does every other week; I was in love with Big Mike; Didi was weird and had to deal with Ryan's asshattery; Tim was mediocre at best, which is huge for him; Andrew finally pleased the judges by doing exactly what they said; Katie is a 50-year-old woman in a teenager's body; Lee blew it out the box; Crystal did her thing sans guitar but plus a piano, and Aaron took on a song that was probably too big for him. B3 will probably be Tim and Katie again, and maybe Siobhan, but I could do with losing either Katie or Tim. Brenna's got your results on Wednesday, so adios!
Earlier this week, Bren and I reviewed the list of songs that the contestants could choose from and tried to predict some. Let's see how close we got. This opening shit with Seacrest is stupid. Get on with it already, it's 8:06. These eps do not need to be two hours right now.
Ooh Siobhan's first? Well, I guess she had the pimp spot last week, so fair's fair. I love that she's an Usher fan. She's singing "Through the Fire", which I don't believe I know but is a Chaka Khan song. OMG guys, her outfit. I so love her. She's my Allison of this year so bad. Shit, but her song isn't good. It's boring and she's a lil pitchy dawg. She is so much better than this. The judges are going to rip her apart. Shit shit shit. I'm gonna vote like mad for her because I know she can do better.
What the hell is this?? Footage of Siobhan backstage crying in the green room? EPIC FAIL, Idol. We don't want or need to see that. God, could you imagine if they had this last year, with effing Gokey making heart hands all over the place? Shudder.
After the break we get Casey James with Usher. Which, Casey doesn't own a TV or something, so he probably doesn't know who he is. He's singing "Hold On", which is pretty predictable. And it's never been performed on Idol, which surprised me a little. He sounds pretty good, but I'm pretty meh on Casey for the most part. Also I think he may have forgotten some words. Everyone's wooing for him. He's pretty consistent week after week, but he's not my favorite. Why does Randy have a white elephant brooch on?
Shocker, Big Mike Lynche picked a love song. Hey, did you know he's married with a newborn baby? Just wanted to pass on the info! OK, he's singing one of my favorite songs, "Ready for Love" by India Arie. Even though I've been over Mike these past few weeks, I will probably love this. Love it, but won't vote for it. LOL. I like Mike like this...chilling, with the guitar, just singing, not trying to dance and be all lounge lizardy. Do it, Big Mike.
I hate this backstage cam. GO AWAY. We don't need this vantage point. Anyway, we've got Didi Benami up next, and apparently she got "emotional" with Usher. She just wanna take it nice and sloooow! Ok, she's singing "What Becomes of the Broken Hearted", which was totally part of a Motown medley we did in show choir one year. The moves were like, step to the left, step to the right, sweeping arm gesture, arms crossed over chest. It was bad ass.
Ahem. I got away from myself there. Anyway, Didi got emotional in her rehearsal, so hopefully she keeps it together here. She's descending into Brooke White more and more each week, so I'm just waiting for her to stop singing and ask to start over. OK, what the hell is she wearing? Was she going for Vegas performance with this one? This is weird, and I normally like Didi. I didn't get it at all. OMG RYAN. She doesn't want to say why she's singing the damn song!! SHE IS NOT GOKEY.
GAWD. I'm exhausted after that one. Up next we have Tim Urban. He looks cute tonight. He's singing "Sweet Love" by Anita Baker. I don't think I know this, but maybe if I hear the whole thing, it'll sound familiar. Ohhh wait, I know this song. Weird choice, but then Tim's a weird guy. Built like a brick shithouse, apparently, but weird. This isn't half bad, for Tim. It's not great, but I don't think it's the worst either. Ellen is kind of funny, talking about how people made a drinking game of her calling him adorable. But he IS, Ellen! Also take off your shirt. Tim, not Ellen.
After the break, we've got Neck Tattoo (tm Koz) aka Andrew Garcia. He's going to be doing an AGarc cover of "Forever" by Chris Brown. I'm not gonna lie, I loved this song before Chris Brown became a criminal. Also: that YouTube video. I think this is the best Andrew's sounded in a long time. He looks totally on and into it, and not uncomfortable. Last week he looked totally awkward. The judges are going to be all over his shit because that was exactly like "Straight Up." OMG his mom is CA-RAZY. Simma, Andrew's mom!
Time for Katie Stevens. She tells a totally boring story about how she met Usher at Epcot one time. Big deal, Katie, my husband and I totally met BRIAN DENNEHY at Epcot one time! True story...LMAO. She's singing "Chain of Fools" and seriously? Why is she an old lady? Aren't there any contemporary R&B songs she could have sang? Sigh. If Katie got cut, I would not miss her. Truth be told, she sounds pretty good, but this is another one of those songs that's been done on here a million times. Randy compares her to "a young Christina" which....sorry, I don't hear it.
Has there been a commercial after EVERY single performance?? God.
Up next is our boy Lee Dewyze. His name still has not gotten easier to type. He has walking pneumonia?? WTF are they doing to these people? He's singing "Treat Her Like a Lady", accompanying himself on guitar. I love Lee's voice so bad. I can't wait for this performance, Urshur loves him. This. Is. AMAZING. OMG you guys, I want to marry this performance. Sorry Adam! Lee absolutely killed this...way to go, buddy! I feel like Lee would want us to call him buddy, right? WOOO!
TWO WEEKS UNTIL NEW GLEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
After the break, we've got Crystal Bowersox. No guitar this week, but aha! She'll be at the piano. You go, Crystal B. Doing "Midnight Train to Georgia", which could be cool, because she won't cheese it up. She's cute with Usher. This starts out really awesome, just Crystal, piano, and the backup ladies. I like her outfit too. You can't deny that she's got a fantastic instrument here. Ooh, the falsetto's a little weird, but the rest of it was pretty great, if a little less "Crystal" than we've been used to. Ryan's SO WEIRD tonight. Is he on speed or acid or something? Jesus, Seacrest.
In the pimp spot is...Aaron Kelly? That's bizarre. Oooh, and doing "Ain't No Sunshine"--dude, Kris just did this last season, and killed it, so I would not go there. But really, what the hell else was Aaron going to sing this week? Usher makes him go over the "I know, I know" part a bunch, and his critique actually makes sense. Go Mr. Raymond. Aaron sounds nervous as hell. I mean, this is fine and all, but why the F wasn't Lee in the pimp spot? That would have been a hell of a way to close a show. No offense, Aaron.
So recap of the night: Siobhan tanked and will probably be in the B3 unfortunately; Casey sounded like he does every other week; I was in love with Big Mike; Didi was weird and had to deal with Ryan's asshattery; Tim was mediocre at best, which is huge for him; Andrew finally pleased the judges by doing exactly what they said; Katie is a 50-year-old woman in a teenager's body; Lee blew it out the box; Crystal did her thing sans guitar but plus a piano, and Aaron took on a song that was probably too big for him. B3 will probably be Tim and Katie again, and maybe Siobhan, but I could do with losing either Katie or Tim. Brenna's got your results on Wednesday, so adios!
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
My achy breaky heart!
24 hours later, and I am still appalled at what went on last night. These 11 idiots had a HUGE song catalog at their disposal and at least four of them (Andrew, Paige, Aaron and even Siobhan) picked songs that have already been done at least once on this show, if not SIX TIMES. That would be the Phil Collins piece of junk that Paige tortured us with. And the rest of them picked stuff that was totally predictable, with the exception of Casey and his random Huey Lewis throwback. Because who would EVER see Huey Lewis coming???
Anywayyyyy, now we've got results night, or the Disney Hour brought to us by Fox, featuring she just bein' Miley, a Jonas, and something called a Demi Lovato. I'm a little worried about Lee Dewyzechikezie tonight, guys. Randy's wearing a lovely shade of pumpkin this evening. And by lovely I mean weird. I told Brenna last night that Ellen looks fabulous in white and she should always wear it.
OMG, tonight's lip synched number is "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go"--why didn't someone sing this last night? LOL. Casey looks totally lost. He probably never even heard of Wham!
FORD! video shoot for the week. Not a whole lot to say here. Ryan's got the kids on the couches. Apparently Casey effed something up last night with his verses or something. Also Siobhan's boss is growing a giant beard that he won't shave until she gets voted off. Awesome. I want to hang with her peeps.
Too much talky, not enough results. LET'S GO. Siobhan's first. Totally safe. Yay! Lee and Casey both stand. This does not bode well for Lee. Ryan's dicking around with them now, and making Tim and Paige stand up next. Just put someone out of their misery Ryan. Also stop asking Paige questions, she never knows how to answer them and always sounds dumb. OK, Paige and Tim are in the bottom three. Which is absolutely correct. Wait, why the hell are Lee and Casey still standing??? The world's gone MAD.
Shudder. Commercials are over, and we've got Miley Cyrus. I'm sorry, but I cannot watch this performance. Especially when there's two minutes left in the Penguins game and they just tied it up. Sorry MiMi. MY BEST FRIEND LESLIE SAYS! Okay I just turned this back on....is she convulsing?? In a wedding dress? What is happening? And she kind of looks like Lindsay Lohan right now, with the crazy red hair and the slight drunk face.
Oh lord, IGFB news. You can create a webpage to send to your friends to raise money. Yay? Back to the results. Oh Casey and Lee are safe! YAY! I really only care about Lee, Siobhan and Crystal at this point. And we know Crystal isn't going anywhere. Aaron's next. He's obviously safe as hell, so let's move on. Time for Didi. Her song choice was really weird. Also, Didi, stop talking. We're spending way too much time on her. And....safe.
Big Mike's turn. I'm kind of over Mike. Safe. Now Crystal's up. Obviously, people, come on. I'm ready to see Crystal take on like, country week or something to that effect. We're down to Katie and Andrew. Either one of them could go to the bottom three after last night, in my opinion, but I bet it's Andrew. He's having a rough time of it here. And....it's Katie. Meh. If she left, I wouldn't miss her, but Paige totally needs to go.
And going back to safety is Katie...LOL. She's probably like, eff you Seacrest. So bottom two are Paige and Tim. Guess Vote for the Worst hasn't been working out all that well this week, eh?
After the break we get Joe Jonas and Demi Lovato. Oy. You'd think someone who enjoys Justin Bieber as much as I do would be into this kind of shit, hahaha. Are these two dating? I'm sure Google could tell me, but I'm tired. So much tween screaming happening...ahhhh!!!
Seriously, let's not even waste time with the judges' save here, Seacrest, because you and I both know that both of these contestants blew last night. Just tell us who got cut and let's get on with our lives. OMG PAIGE IS OUT! Our prayers have been answered!! And Simon flat out tells her, we're not using the save on you, so sing your song and go home. Bwaaaaa.
So we've got our top 10 contestants and they get to go on tour. Yay for them! We'll see you guys next week, when they take on R&B music with Usher! Yes! Bren and I were just saying that someone should sing Usher. Hopefully we get better song choices on Tuesday. See you then!
Anywayyyyy, now we've got results night, or the Disney Hour brought to us by Fox, featuring she just bein' Miley, a Jonas, and something called a Demi Lovato. I'm a little worried about Lee Dewyzechikezie tonight, guys. Randy's wearing a lovely shade of pumpkin this evening. And by lovely I mean weird. I told Brenna last night that Ellen looks fabulous in white and she should always wear it.
OMG, tonight's lip synched number is "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go"--why didn't someone sing this last night? LOL. Casey looks totally lost. He probably never even heard of Wham!
FORD! video shoot for the week. Not a whole lot to say here. Ryan's got the kids on the couches. Apparently Casey effed something up last night with his verses or something. Also Siobhan's boss is growing a giant beard that he won't shave until she gets voted off. Awesome. I want to hang with her peeps.
Too much talky, not enough results. LET'S GO. Siobhan's first. Totally safe. Yay! Lee and Casey both stand. This does not bode well for Lee. Ryan's dicking around with them now, and making Tim and Paige stand up next. Just put someone out of their misery Ryan. Also stop asking Paige questions, she never knows how to answer them and always sounds dumb. OK, Paige and Tim are in the bottom three. Which is absolutely correct. Wait, why the hell are Lee and Casey still standing??? The world's gone MAD.
Shudder. Commercials are over, and we've got Miley Cyrus. I'm sorry, but I cannot watch this performance. Especially when there's two minutes left in the Penguins game and they just tied it up. Sorry MiMi. MY BEST FRIEND LESLIE SAYS! Okay I just turned this back on....is she convulsing?? In a wedding dress? What is happening? And she kind of looks like Lindsay Lohan right now, with the crazy red hair and the slight drunk face.
Oh lord, IGFB news. You can create a webpage to send to your friends to raise money. Yay? Back to the results. Oh Casey and Lee are safe! YAY! I really only care about Lee, Siobhan and Crystal at this point. And we know Crystal isn't going anywhere. Aaron's next. He's obviously safe as hell, so let's move on. Time for Didi. Her song choice was really weird. Also, Didi, stop talking. We're spending way too much time on her. And....safe.
Big Mike's turn. I'm kind of over Mike. Safe. Now Crystal's up. Obviously, people, come on. I'm ready to see Crystal take on like, country week or something to that effect. We're down to Katie and Andrew. Either one of them could go to the bottom three after last night, in my opinion, but I bet it's Andrew. He's having a rough time of it here. And....it's Katie. Meh. If she left, I wouldn't miss her, but Paige totally needs to go.
And going back to safety is Katie...LOL. She's probably like, eff you Seacrest. So bottom two are Paige and Tim. Guess Vote for the Worst hasn't been working out all that well this week, eh?
After the break we get Joe Jonas and Demi Lovato. Oy. You'd think someone who enjoys Justin Bieber as much as I do would be into this kind of shit, hahaha. Are these two dating? I'm sure Google could tell me, but I'm tired. So much tween screaming happening...ahhhh!!!
Seriously, let's not even waste time with the judges' save here, Seacrest, because you and I both know that both of these contestants blew last night. Just tell us who got cut and let's get on with our lives. OMG PAIGE IS OUT! Our prayers have been answered!! And Simon flat out tells her, we're not using the save on you, so sing your song and go home. Bwaaaaa.
So we've got our top 10 contestants and they get to go on tour. Yay for them! We'll see you guys next week, when they take on R&B music with Usher! Yes! Bren and I were just saying that someone should sing Usher. Hopefully we get better song choices on Tuesday. See you then!
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Party in the USA
Miley Cyrus is our mentor this week. Why, you ask? I really have no clue. Basically, Lindsay & I wish Ke$ha would be the mentor, so she could give everyone shots of Jack. OMG, why does Miley sound like a 60-year-old chain smoking woman at age 17? And how much do you think Crystal hated being mentored by Miley Cyrus? And is that a SYTYCD judge sitting next to her in the audience? WTF is this show tonight?
Lee DeWeezyChikezie is up first, singing The Letter. Miley is already useless. Lee is looking stylin' tonight, ladies. He does a jazzy arrangement, which I like, but I notice that Lee has some Soul Patrol dancing tendencies, and that makes me cringe. I enjoy it, but him going first makes me nervous for him. Three of the four judges love it, including Ellen giving the world's most long-winded analogy comparing Lee to her favorite pen.
These Kris Allen Ford commercials are so adorable. Miss ya, Kris!
Paige has every Billboard #1 EVER at her disposal and chooses... Phil Collins. She is wearing some FIERCE shoes though that I must have in my life. Against All Odds has been sung approximately 48,000 times on this show, and I'm pretty sure they've all been better than this. Hey guys, remember how Katelyn got voted off? The judges rip her apart, but on the plus side at least she looks fabulous. (Seriously, those shoes. Size 7.5. Send them here now.)
Tim (take off your shirt!) Urban is next singing Crazy Little Thing Called Love. I was totally jamming to this song in the car the other day. Miley thinks he rocks. I think he sounds pretty good actually, on a Tim scale of course. He even does an awkward little slide across the stage. Awww. The girls love him. They would love him more shirtless. Ellen compares it to an audition to High School Musical which is so... accurate, actually. What the judges don't get is that the same people who watch HSM are the same people who vote. He is clearly here next week if you're comparing him to Zac Efron, people.
The teaser before the commercial break tells us up next is Janis Joplin & Aerosmith courtesy of Crystal & Aaron. Wouldn't you just die if Aaron was singing Janis? I would, but I know this show way too well, and completely called his song choice 10 minutes before he told us it:
I'm amused by Miley trying to give Crystal advice. Props to the Idol stylists tonight, Crystal looks beautiful. She's singing Me and Bobby McGee and sounds fantastic as usual. Another perfect song choice. Really, what more can we say about her?It's almost boring how good she is every week. The judges obviously love it, and they love her, and just give her a record deal already.
Mike is up next. I'm so over him, I'm sorry. He's singing When a Man Loves a Woman. Lame song choices again, people. Why couldn't he pick something more (to use a Simonism) contemporary? Like some good R&B - Usher or Beyonce or something? No, instead we get a Michael Bolton song. He sounds good, I guess, but I'm dreadfully bored by this. Kara even says it's boring, so you know it was rough.
Andrew is singing Heard It Through the Grapevine. I'm bored by this. I do actually think Miley gave him some good advice to get out from behind the guitar, and judging from the screaming, the ladies love it. I'm just amazed that with all the songs available to these contestants, they pick the same. effing. songs. every. single. year. Kara mentions Straight Up for the thousandth time, and all the other judges completely rip him a new one. Yikes. Good luck, Andrew.
Ok, side note. I've been flipping through EW's gallery of "Where are they now?" Idols, and one of my all-time favorites, Jon Peter Lewis was in there. You may remember JPL as the guy Simon called the pen salesman in season 3. Anyways, I clicked on his website and then on his Twitter and discovered this tweet: "I'm still laughing about Miley the Mentor. So ridiculous. Is she supposed to be an example of what not to do?"
I... love... him.
You know what else I love? I love Glee. I love Madonna. Put the two of them together and it really might be the greatest hour in the history of television.
Anyways, back to Idol. Katie is up next singing Big Girls Don't Cry. I definitely drove through Katie's hometown of Middlebury, CT on the worst drive home ever on Sunday. I considered pulling over and erecting a giant sign saying "Please put America out of its misery and vote Katie off Idol." But I didn't. Props to Katie for actually choosing a song from this century, first of all. Props to her for also not being the absolute worst of the evening too, so thanks Paige. But seriously, Katie should not last past next week.
Casey is doing The Power of Love. Where is Marty McFly? Whoa, he sounds like Huey Lewis. Weird. I'm not a huge fan of this song, but he sounded good. The judges say pretty much the same thing, except for Simon who says it was unoriginal and blames it on himself being English. LOL. Oh Simon, I'm going to miss you.
Didi comes up next singing You're No Good. Again, with the old songs tonight. The girl looks fierce and sounds fantastic, but I really wish she'd done the jazzy thing with some Amy Winehouse instead. These songs are so borrrrrring. The judges apparently hated it. I didn't think it was bad, but to be honest right now I'm only half paying attention waiting for Siobhan and replaying the Glee commercial in my head.
Siobhan has the pimp spot. Miley loves her, as we all do. I've been slightly obsessed with Paint It Black since I downloaded it last week. Also, Siobhan a) admits to jamming to Miley and b) says wicked, which makes me love her slightly more. She's rocking out to Superstition tonight. You know, this is the first time I think she's been 100% comfortable on stage, and it's fantastic. I don't think this girl is capable of singing a note that's not perfectly in tune. It's not the theatrical masterpiece that last week was, but there's no denying she can sing circles around everyone except maybe Crystal this year.
So, my vote to go home is Paige or Katie, but I'm nervous for somebody like Lee or Andrew that I've almost forgotten about by now. Lindsay has the results show with Miley tomorrow! See ya next week.
Lee DeWeezyChikezie is up first, singing The Letter. Miley is already useless. Lee is looking stylin' tonight, ladies. He does a jazzy arrangement, which I like, but I notice that Lee has some Soul Patrol dancing tendencies, and that makes me cringe. I enjoy it, but him going first makes me nervous for him. Three of the four judges love it, including Ellen giving the world's most long-winded analogy comparing Lee to her favorite pen.
These Kris Allen Ford commercials are so adorable. Miss ya, Kris!
Paige has every Billboard #1 EVER at her disposal and chooses... Phil Collins. She is wearing some FIERCE shoes though that I must have in my life. Against All Odds has been sung approximately 48,000 times on this show, and I'm pretty sure they've all been better than this. Hey guys, remember how Katelyn got voted off? The judges rip her apart, but on the plus side at least she looks fabulous. (Seriously, those shoes. Size 7.5. Send them here now.)
Tim (take off your shirt!) Urban is next singing Crazy Little Thing Called Love. I was totally jamming to this song in the car the other day. Miley thinks he rocks. I think he sounds pretty good actually, on a Tim scale of course. He even does an awkward little slide across the stage. Awww. The girls love him. They would love him more shirtless. Ellen compares it to an audition to High School Musical which is so... accurate, actually. What the judges don't get is that the same people who watch HSM are the same people who vote. He is clearly here next week if you're comparing him to Zac Efron, people.
The teaser before the commercial break tells us up next is Janis Joplin & Aerosmith courtesy of Crystal & Aaron. Wouldn't you just die if Aaron was singing Janis? I would, but I know this show way too well, and completely called his song choice 10 minutes before he told us it:
me: $20 says aaron does i don't wanna miss a thingBooyaa. OMG, the tweens are going insane right now, with Aaron right after Tim. It's a very good song choice for him, and he sounds pretty good. Not my thing really, but hey, I'm not 12 years old. Seacrest actually calls him David Archuleta. As if the tweens weren't turned on enough already. Thanks, Seacrest. I hope AT&T is ready for the influx of calls tonight.
I'm amused by Miley trying to give Crystal advice. Props to the Idol stylists tonight, Crystal looks beautiful. She's singing Me and Bobby McGee and sounds fantastic as usual. Another perfect song choice. Really, what more can we say about her?It's almost boring how good she is every week. The judges obviously love it, and they love her, and just give her a record deal already.
Mike is up next. I'm so over him, I'm sorry. He's singing When a Man Loves a Woman. Lame song choices again, people. Why couldn't he pick something more (to use a Simonism) contemporary? Like some good R&B - Usher or Beyonce or something? No, instead we get a Michael Bolton song. He sounds good, I guess, but I'm dreadfully bored by this. Kara even says it's boring, so you know it was rough.
Andrew is singing Heard It Through the Grapevine. I'm bored by this. I do actually think Miley gave him some good advice to get out from behind the guitar, and judging from the screaming, the ladies love it. I'm just amazed that with all the songs available to these contestants, they pick the same. effing. songs. every. single. year. Kara mentions Straight Up for the thousandth time, and all the other judges completely rip him a new one. Yikes. Good luck, Andrew.
Ok, side note. I've been flipping through EW's gallery of "Where are they now?" Idols, and one of my all-time favorites, Jon Peter Lewis was in there. You may remember JPL as the guy Simon called the pen salesman in season 3. Anyways, I clicked on his website and then on his Twitter and discovered this tweet: "I'm still laughing about Miley the Mentor. So ridiculous. Is she supposed to be an example of what not to do?"
I... love... him.
You know what else I love? I love Glee. I love Madonna. Put the two of them together and it really might be the greatest hour in the history of television.
Anyways, back to Idol. Katie is up next singing Big Girls Don't Cry. I definitely drove through Katie's hometown of Middlebury, CT on the worst drive home ever on Sunday. I considered pulling over and erecting a giant sign saying "Please put America out of its misery and vote Katie off Idol." But I didn't. Props to Katie for actually choosing a song from this century, first of all. Props to her for also not being the absolute worst of the evening too, so thanks Paige. But seriously, Katie should not last past next week.
Casey is doing The Power of Love. Where is Marty McFly? Whoa, he sounds like Huey Lewis. Weird. I'm not a huge fan of this song, but he sounded good. The judges say pretty much the same thing, except for Simon who says it was unoriginal and blames it on himself being English. LOL. Oh Simon, I'm going to miss you.
Didi comes up next singing You're No Good. Again, with the old songs tonight. The girl looks fierce and sounds fantastic, but I really wish she'd done the jazzy thing with some Amy Winehouse instead. These songs are so borrrrrring. The judges apparently hated it. I didn't think it was bad, but to be honest right now I'm only half paying attention waiting for Siobhan and replaying the Glee commercial in my head.
Siobhan has the pimp spot. Miley loves her, as we all do. I've been slightly obsessed with Paint It Black since I downloaded it last week. Also, Siobhan a) admits to jamming to Miley and b) says wicked, which makes me love her slightly more. She's rocking out to Superstition tonight. You know, this is the first time I think she's been 100% comfortable on stage, and it's fantastic. I don't think this girl is capable of singing a note that's not perfectly in tune. It's not the theatrical masterpiece that last week was, but there's no denying she can sing circles around everyone except maybe Crystal this year.
So, my vote to go home is Paige or Katie, but I'm nervous for somebody like Lee or Andrew that I've almost forgotten about by now. Lindsay has the results show with Miley tomorrow! See ya next week.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Listen, hot stuff. I'm in love with this song.
Guys, I have never been so excited for a results show, ever. Well, maybe when Lady Gaga was on. Still, these things usually suck. Buttttt..... Ke$ha. Cookster. The only way tonight could get screwed up would be if Siobhan, Crystal, or Lee went home. Bring it on, biatches, cuz the party don't start till I walk in.
Overly dramatic opening montage. Cheesy green lighting and Irish music and "the luck of the Irish will only be with 11 people this evening." Wow, Seacrest, write this stuff yourself? Awkward Cowell/Seacrest banter... this stuff got old in season 3, guys. We have the judges' save again this year. They can save any contestant as long as it's unanimous among the judges, but who really cares, because COOKSTER IS HERE.
He's doing Jumpin' Jack Flash. OMG I miss him. I got a smile a mile wide when I saw him on stage. This reminds me a little of when he did Daytripper in the style of Whitesnake, back when his hair was still skeevy and we thought he looked in girls' windows. His hair is a little suspect, but he's still damn hot regardless and sounds amazing as per usual. Hey Season 9 Idol wannabes, are you watching this? This is how the Stones should be done. He says he's working on a new album, which I can't wait for. And he's going to Africa for IGFB. Ugh. (Linds & I have a treat for you guys that week though, which actually makes me not hate IGFB this year. Details to come.)
Oh no, I forgot how awful the FORD! commercials could be. How much do you think Crystal hates doing this? Probably not as much as Amanda Overmeyer did. OMG, two FORD! commercials? We have three performers tonight and still this much filler? Ugh.
Results time, finally. Paige is in the bottom three, about three weeks too late. Lee and his awesome leather jacket from last night is safe. Siobhan is wearing a giant knit headband, yet still looks fierce, and is safe. Side note on Siobhan, sort of: Siobhan is totally this year's Adam Lambert. And I have seen the light on Lambert. I hated him and his big ball of Viva Las Gaygas last year, because I thought it was way too over the top for our deal little Idol show. But... Siobhan is taking over the top to new heights (Paint it Black while wearing a Homecoming dress & combat boots, COME ON PEOPLE!) and I love her for it, and I also love several of the songs on Adam's album, and as a performer away from the Idol stage, he is freaking fantastic. Also, I have these mental images of him chilling with Gaga and Ke$ha and bottles of Jack and drunk dialing Allison, and it all makes me squee just a little bit.
Anyways, back to this season Aaron is seriously the second coming of David Archuleta and is also safe. Andrew & Tim stand up together. Tim is in the bottom three, probably because he hasn't taken off his shirt yet.
Next up is Orianthi, who is teeny and blond and pretty kick ass at playing the guitar but not so good at singing live. Still, I love this song. My dad says "who?!" and I can't wait till Ke$ha comes on to see my parents' reaction. It's amazing that she has an Australian accent when she talks but not when she sings. OMG, Seacrest keeps talking to everyone, and all I want right now is Ke$ha, a bottle of Jack, and the bottom three.
Back to the results. Didi is wearing amazing boots and is safe. Crystal is awesome as usual and is also safe. After an eternity of talking, Katie is safe. Can't count out the tween and grandma votes, folks. Michael is apparently "here for the people" and is safe. So it's down to Casey and Lacey, either of whom I'd be ok sending home. Lacey is in the bottom three, and this has even more potential to be the BEST RESULTS SHOW EVER. Ryan sends Tim back to safety, hopefully with the caveat that he will take off his effing shirt next week to get more votes.
FINALLY. Time for Ke$ha. I should preface this by saying lately I've had a slightly unhealthy obsession with her, because obviously I wake up every morning feeling like P. Diddy. I tried resisting her for so long but just gave up, because she's impossible to resist. But seriously, if ever in my life I ever write anything as catchy as any of her songs, I will be ecstatic. Maybe if I start brushing my teeth with Jack...
Speaking of, Lindsay & I created an elaborate scenario the other day when we found out Ke$ha was performing. I saved the chat, because it was so brilliant:
Ok, after that absurdity, we're to the results. Lacey is going home, and there's no way they're using the judges' save on her, right? She does a reprise of The Story (they didn't get to choose what song they did last year, did they?) and the judges say no to the save, so Lacey is going home, making this officially the BEST RESULTS SHOW EVER.
And with that, we're one week into the real Idol season. Maybe it won't be all that bad this year after all. See ya next week, folks. I'll have a pedicure on my toes, toes.
Overly dramatic opening montage. Cheesy green lighting and Irish music and "the luck of the Irish will only be with 11 people this evening." Wow, Seacrest, write this stuff yourself? Awkward Cowell/Seacrest banter... this stuff got old in season 3, guys. We have the judges' save again this year. They can save any contestant as long as it's unanimous among the judges, but who really cares, because COOKSTER IS HERE.
He's doing Jumpin' Jack Flash. OMG I miss him. I got a smile a mile wide when I saw him on stage. This reminds me a little of when he did Daytripper in the style of Whitesnake, back when his hair was still skeevy and we thought he looked in girls' windows. His hair is a little suspect, but he's still damn hot regardless and sounds amazing as per usual. Hey Season 9 Idol wannabes, are you watching this? This is how the Stones should be done. He says he's working on a new album, which I can't wait for. And he's going to Africa for IGFB. Ugh. (Linds & I have a treat for you guys that week though, which actually makes me not hate IGFB this year. Details to come.)
Oh no, I forgot how awful the FORD! commercials could be. How much do you think Crystal hates doing this? Probably not as much as Amanda Overmeyer did. OMG, two FORD! commercials? We have three performers tonight and still this much filler? Ugh.
Results time, finally. Paige is in the bottom three, about three weeks too late. Lee and his awesome leather jacket from last night is safe. Siobhan is wearing a giant knit headband, yet still looks fierce, and is safe. Side note on Siobhan, sort of: Siobhan is totally this year's Adam Lambert. And I have seen the light on Lambert. I hated him and his big ball of Viva Las Gaygas last year, because I thought it was way too over the top for our deal little Idol show. But... Siobhan is taking over the top to new heights (Paint it Black while wearing a Homecoming dress & combat boots, COME ON PEOPLE!) and I love her for it, and I also love several of the songs on Adam's album, and as a performer away from the Idol stage, he is freaking fantastic. Also, I have these mental images of him chilling with Gaga and Ke$ha and bottles of Jack and drunk dialing Allison, and it all makes me squee just a little bit.
Anyways, back to this season Aaron is seriously the second coming of David Archuleta and is also safe. Andrew & Tim stand up together. Tim is in the bottom three, probably because he hasn't taken off his shirt yet.
Next up is Orianthi, who is teeny and blond and pretty kick ass at playing the guitar but not so good at singing live. Still, I love this song. My dad says "who?!" and I can't wait till Ke$ha comes on to see my parents' reaction. It's amazing that she has an Australian accent when she talks but not when she sings. OMG, Seacrest keeps talking to everyone, and all I want right now is Ke$ha, a bottle of Jack, and the bottom three.
Back to the results. Didi is wearing amazing boots and is safe. Crystal is awesome as usual and is also safe. After an eternity of talking, Katie is safe. Can't count out the tween and grandma votes, folks. Michael is apparently "here for the people" and is safe. So it's down to Casey and Lacey, either of whom I'd be ok sending home. Lacey is in the bottom three, and this has even more potential to be the BEST RESULTS SHOW EVER. Ryan sends Tim back to safety, hopefully with the caveat that he will take off his effing shirt next week to get more votes.
FINALLY. Time for Ke$ha. I should preface this by saying lately I've had a slightly unhealthy obsession with her, because obviously I wake up every morning feeling like P. Diddy. I tried resisting her for so long but just gave up, because she's impossible to resist. But seriously, if ever in my life I ever write anything as catchy as any of her songs, I will be ecstatic. Maybe if I start brushing my teeth with Jack...
Speaking of, Lindsay & I created an elaborate scenario the other day when we found out Ke$ha was performing. I saved the chat, because it was so brilliant:
Lindsay: oh according to youSo, with that, Ke$ha. Um, there are people with television heads and she's wearing what appears to be a silver snakeskin corset with combat boots. OMG, she is fantastic. That said, this song is not nearly as much fun when network TV makes you censor lyrics. And now she's wearing a giant Indian headdress. Wow. For no apparent reason whatsoever, or maybe because she drank an entire bottle of Jack before she came on stage. Either way, she is fantastic and I love her. She probably goes backstage to try to bang Cookster when she's done.i kind of hate that songlolBrenna: awww i like itwho cares, ke$ha is gonna be so drunkno one will care about orianthiLindsay: omg i hope ke$ha is hammeredand gets the contestants hammeredBrenna: hahahahaaaron kelly! have a shot of jack!Lindsay: she needs to share her jack with lee deqyodiuszeLMAOBrenna: she's so hooking up with lee dsakjfhiuyowiblihbweezieLindsay: omg you know itand then she'll be like, wait, what was your name? todrick?
Ok, after that absurdity, we're to the results. Lacey is going home, and there's no way they're using the judges' save on her, right? She does a reprise of The Story (they didn't get to choose what song they did last year, did they?) and the judges say no to the save, so Lacey is going home, making this officially the BEST RESULTS SHOW EVER.
And with that, we're one week into the real Idol season. Maybe it won't be all that bad this year after all. See ya next week, folks. I'll have a pedicure on my toes, toes.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
We'll kick 'em to the curb unless they look like Mick Jagger
OMG Siobhan looks FIERCE in the opening segment. Hooray for the contestants getting properly styled! THIS is American Idol.
I kind of couldn't wait for tonight, you guys. Now that the auditions are finally over and the grueling 3-5 hour weeks of the top 24 are behind us, this is the time when I really start to enjoy this show. I mean, at this time two years ago, I think we still may have despised David Cook, and he totally became our favorite. So who knows what will happen!
Also I'm totes jealous that Bren is recapping results tomorrow night with both KE$HA and COOKSTER. And I got Blind Scott last week...hahahaha.
Wow everyone looks SO MUCH better tonight. Except maybe Lacey, WTF is she wearing? Also except Tim Urban because he's still wearing a damn shirt.
Obligatory Rolling Stones montage with Seacrest voiceover. I wish Keith Richards was a mentor tonight, he'd probably be all sorts of F'ed up.
Up first is Big Mike Lynche. We've got some getting to know you filler, since this show is two hours tonight. Hey, did you know he and his wife had a baby? LOL. I'm sorry, but is his baby this year's Gokey's dead wife? Come on, show. He's singing "Miss You" tonight. OMG he cannot dance, LOL. He sounds pretty good, but I'm not blown away. His arms are YOOOOOGE. I bet he could crush me. The judges all love it, except Simon, who tells him he's corny. He kind of was, it's true.
After the break, we've got Didi Benami. She's from Knoxville, TN home of the Sun Sphere. Which I may have visited...don't hate. Also, it might be just me, but I think Seacrest wants to bang her. Every time he interacts with her, he seems way into her. She's going to do "Play With Fire" for us this evening. Wow, Didi's kind of awesome doing rock. Ooh well, wait a minute...she's pushing and gets kind of strained a little towards the end, but I mostly enjoyed this. And Kara just echoed what I said, scary. I love you Didi!
Casey James tells us he's from Cool, Texas. I can't believe that's a real place. He's doing "It's All Over Now" with his guitar tonight. It fits right in his wheelhouse, all bluesy and twangy and everything. I'm ashamed to admit I don't really know a lot of RS songs that well. I have a hard time getting into songs that I don't know well. He sounds great, but I'm just not really into it. The judges love him, and Ellen makes what I think is our first lesbian joke since she's been on the show. Simon tells him to be more of a star, which I can get on board with.
Lacey Brown and her janked up outfit are up next. I'm still baffled as to how Lacey made it past the first round, let alone to the top 12. She's doing "Ruby Tuesday" for us tonight. Ruby Tuesday has a really good salad bar. They used to make this bomb chicken pot pie, but it's not on their menu any more. If you're wondering WTF this has to do with anything, it's because I cannot get into Lacey, I'm sorry. I wish Katelyn were still here. And her outfit is a damn EYESORE. WHAT IS IT?? It's like a half shirt with a ruffly lingerie top over high waisted pants?? Or what?
In other Idol fashion news: Ellen is wearing a Chuck Bass scarf and Randy and Simon have matching cardigans. That is all.
Andrew Garcia is up after the break. OK, his dad is the cutest EVER. He's doing "Gimme Shelter" tonight. I totally thought he'd do the Britney version of "Satisfaction." :P I think he sounds really good, but I bet the judges mock him for carrying the mike stand around, and tell him they wish he had done something like "Straight Up" because that's how this show works. I really like his voice a lot. Kara is such a stupid ho. What the hell is she even talking about? Andrew, you were great. We love you!
Up next we have Katie Stevens, who is probably still in shock over the fact that she's actually here. I mean, I liked Katie and all, but girl was riggity rough last week. Anyway, I totally called her song choice "Wild Horses"...am I good, or what? I think Katie looks supa fly tonight, I hope she doesn't stink up the joint. This might be the best she's been up to this point. I really think Katie brought her A game tonight. I still think she might be too young and needs some growth and maturity to her voice, but I think she could be great.
We're halfway through...whew. I'm sleepy. Tim Urban is going on now. Hey, remember when Tim got cut and then he came back and then he sucked a bunch but now he's here? Idol's funny sometimes. Also he has a million brothers and sisters. He's doing "Under my Thumb", which I actually know. This is a really bizarre arrangement. It's like reggae Rolling Stones. Tim's voice sounds okay, but this is just weird. Tim, shut up and take off your shirt.
Yay Siobhan Magnus! Girl, you look so hot. She's from Cape Cod, which I don't remember knowing before now. She's performing "Paint It Black" tonight, which I predict will be F'ing awesome. OMG she totally has shit-kicker boots on with her party dress. YES. I totally just got scared when she hit the money note, it looked like she was going to swallow me whole. Kara compares it to Adam Lambert, which I can totally see, and Siobhan totally rocked the hell out of this. I love her.
After the break, we've got Lee Dewyze. I totally want Siobhan and Lee to date. They're my favorite little hobbits. OMG he's singing "Beast of Burden", this song totally reminds me of college and hanging out at the Penny Bar. I just got transported back like seven years hearing this song. I love Lee so bad. I might be biased because I love the song, but I think this was great. I think his voice is awesome, and I am totally on the Lee train.
I'm starting to get sleepy of blogging. Up next is Paige Miles, great. She's another one...how is she here?? She's singing "Honky Tonk Woman" and I do not see this going well. Is she the Vote for the Worst candidate right now?? GOD. Weirdly, this is the best we've ever heard Paige. Interesting. OK, Paige can go home then. LOL. Why do the judges keep talking about all the issues she's had this week with her voice? I wouldn't have known there was a problem except they talked about it. Dumb.
Bringing us closer to the end is Aaron Kelly. AKA, the second coming of Archuleta but not quite as good. I can't help it, he's kind of charming to me. That sweet little face, he just tries so hard. WTF is he going to sing here, though? OK, "Angie", this might be okay. It sounds nice enough, he's better than last week, but this is BO-ring. If I were more into the song, I think I might feel differently. He sang the song well, but I was asleep, sooooo....
In the pimp spot this week is Crystal Bowersox. What up CBooooow! I always forget she has a kid, probably because they don't shove him in our faces. Aww, her dad is sweet. YES, "You Can't Always Get What You Want." Rock it, Crystal. DO IT. It's totally Crystal, she sounds great. For it being the pimp spot though, there really wasn't a huge WOW factor. She just always sounds so professional. I'd have given the last spot to Siobhan. I think Simon really likes Crystal though, he always talks to her like a peer or a colleague, not like she's his student.
So best of the night for me was Siobhan. Also Didi was pretty good, and Lee and Andrew. Lacey totally should go home, and truthfully Tim but who the hell knows any more with this show. Or Katie, I wouldn't be brokenhearted over losing her. Brenna will take you through the awesome results show tomorrow night! Yay Ke$ha!!
I kind of couldn't wait for tonight, you guys. Now that the auditions are finally over and the grueling 3-5 hour weeks of the top 24 are behind us, this is the time when I really start to enjoy this show. I mean, at this time two years ago, I think we still may have despised David Cook, and he totally became our favorite. So who knows what will happen!
Also I'm totes jealous that Bren is recapping results tomorrow night with both KE$HA and COOKSTER. And I got Blind Scott last week...hahahaha.
Wow everyone looks SO MUCH better tonight. Except maybe Lacey, WTF is she wearing? Also except Tim Urban because he's still wearing a damn shirt.
Obligatory Rolling Stones montage with Seacrest voiceover. I wish Keith Richards was a mentor tonight, he'd probably be all sorts of F'ed up.
Up first is Big Mike Lynche. We've got some getting to know you filler, since this show is two hours tonight. Hey, did you know he and his wife had a baby? LOL. I'm sorry, but is his baby this year's Gokey's dead wife? Come on, show. He's singing "Miss You" tonight. OMG he cannot dance, LOL. He sounds pretty good, but I'm not blown away. His arms are YOOOOOGE. I bet he could crush me. The judges all love it, except Simon, who tells him he's corny. He kind of was, it's true.
After the break, we've got Didi Benami. She's from Knoxville, TN home of the Sun Sphere. Which I may have visited...don't hate. Also, it might be just me, but I think Seacrest wants to bang her. Every time he interacts with her, he seems way into her. She's going to do "Play With Fire" for us this evening. Wow, Didi's kind of awesome doing rock. Ooh well, wait a minute...she's pushing and gets kind of strained a little towards the end, but I mostly enjoyed this. And Kara just echoed what I said, scary. I love you Didi!
Casey James tells us he's from Cool, Texas. I can't believe that's a real place. He's doing "It's All Over Now" with his guitar tonight. It fits right in his wheelhouse, all bluesy and twangy and everything. I'm ashamed to admit I don't really know a lot of RS songs that well. I have a hard time getting into songs that I don't know well. He sounds great, but I'm just not really into it. The judges love him, and Ellen makes what I think is our first lesbian joke since she's been on the show. Simon tells him to be more of a star, which I can get on board with.
Lacey Brown and her janked up outfit are up next. I'm still baffled as to how Lacey made it past the first round, let alone to the top 12. She's doing "Ruby Tuesday" for us tonight. Ruby Tuesday has a really good salad bar. They used to make this bomb chicken pot pie, but it's not on their menu any more. If you're wondering WTF this has to do with anything, it's because I cannot get into Lacey, I'm sorry. I wish Katelyn were still here. And her outfit is a damn EYESORE. WHAT IS IT?? It's like a half shirt with a ruffly lingerie top over high waisted pants?? Or what?
In other Idol fashion news: Ellen is wearing a Chuck Bass scarf and Randy and Simon have matching cardigans. That is all.
Andrew Garcia is up after the break. OK, his dad is the cutest EVER. He's doing "Gimme Shelter" tonight. I totally thought he'd do the Britney version of "Satisfaction." :P I think he sounds really good, but I bet the judges mock him for carrying the mike stand around, and tell him they wish he had done something like "Straight Up" because that's how this show works. I really like his voice a lot. Kara is such a stupid ho. What the hell is she even talking about? Andrew, you were great. We love you!
Up next we have Katie Stevens, who is probably still in shock over the fact that she's actually here. I mean, I liked Katie and all, but girl was riggity rough last week. Anyway, I totally called her song choice "Wild Horses"...am I good, or what? I think Katie looks supa fly tonight, I hope she doesn't stink up the joint. This might be the best she's been up to this point. I really think Katie brought her A game tonight. I still think she might be too young and needs some growth and maturity to her voice, but I think she could be great.
We're halfway through...whew. I'm sleepy. Tim Urban is going on now. Hey, remember when Tim got cut and then he came back and then he sucked a bunch but now he's here? Idol's funny sometimes. Also he has a million brothers and sisters. He's doing "Under my Thumb", which I actually know. This is a really bizarre arrangement. It's like reggae Rolling Stones. Tim's voice sounds okay, but this is just weird. Tim, shut up and take off your shirt.
Yay Siobhan Magnus! Girl, you look so hot. She's from Cape Cod, which I don't remember knowing before now. She's performing "Paint It Black" tonight, which I predict will be F'ing awesome. OMG she totally has shit-kicker boots on with her party dress. YES. I totally just got scared when she hit the money note, it looked like she was going to swallow me whole. Kara compares it to Adam Lambert, which I can totally see, and Siobhan totally rocked the hell out of this. I love her.
After the break, we've got Lee Dewyze. I totally want Siobhan and Lee to date. They're my favorite little hobbits. OMG he's singing "Beast of Burden", this song totally reminds me of college and hanging out at the Penny Bar. I just got transported back like seven years hearing this song. I love Lee so bad. I might be biased because I love the song, but I think this was great. I think his voice is awesome, and I am totally on the Lee train.
I'm starting to get sleepy of blogging. Up next is Paige Miles, great. She's another one...how is she here?? She's singing "Honky Tonk Woman" and I do not see this going well. Is she the Vote for the Worst candidate right now?? GOD. Weirdly, this is the best we've ever heard Paige. Interesting. OK, Paige can go home then. LOL. Why do the judges keep talking about all the issues she's had this week with her voice? I wouldn't have known there was a problem except they talked about it. Dumb.
Bringing us closer to the end is Aaron Kelly. AKA, the second coming of Archuleta but not quite as good. I can't help it, he's kind of charming to me. That sweet little face, he just tries so hard. WTF is he going to sing here, though? OK, "Angie", this might be okay. It sounds nice enough, he's better than last week, but this is BO-ring. If I were more into the song, I think I might feel differently. He sang the song well, but I was asleep, sooooo....
In the pimp spot this week is Crystal Bowersox. What up CBooooow! I always forget she has a kid, probably because they don't shove him in our faces. Aww, her dad is sweet. YES, "You Can't Always Get What You Want." Rock it, Crystal. DO IT. It's totally Crystal, she sounds great. For it being the pimp spot though, there really wasn't a huge WOW factor. She just always sounds so professional. I'd have given the last spot to Siobhan. I think Simon really likes Crystal though, he always talks to her like a peer or a colleague, not like she's his student.
So best of the night for me was Siobhan. Also Didi was pretty good, and Lee and Andrew. Lacey totally should go home, and truthfully Tim but who the hell knows any more with this show. Or Katie, I wouldn't be brokenhearted over losing her. Brenna will take you through the awesome results show tomorrow night! Yay Ke$ha!!
Thursday, March 11, 2010
You can't always get what you want.
OK, so at 8:35 pm last night, just as Scott and Matty G. came on, everything I had just typed got deleted and somehow didn't save. I AM PISSED. So the time period from 8:00 to 8:35 is going to be recapped very briefly and with a slight attitude.
Blah blah, super dramatic, 12 shiny silver stools waiting for butts to warm them. They left it ALL ON THE FLOOR last night.
Turrible group number to Michael Buble's "Haven't Met You Yet." I enjoy this song, I like Michael Buble but this is all kinds of Idol cheesy and corny as per usual.
First round of girls is up. Didi is in! Siobhan is in! Hooray! We're down to Paige and Katelyn, and I really don't understand who is voting for Paige. She is NOT. GOOD. Poor Katelyn gets the shaft and probably regrets ever knowing the lyrics to "I Feel The Earth Move." Bye Katelyn.
BREAKING NEWS--the first theme week is Rolling Stones music. Which, like the Beatles, could either be awesome or an epic fail.
Now the first round of guys. Seacrest calls Tim, Todrick, Lee and Casey to the floor. After some jacking around with Casey about Kara, he's the first guy through. Tim is also through, and looks like he doesn't believe it. We're down to Todrick and Lee, and come on....Lee totally should be in. And he is!! Todrick is finally OUT! YESSSSS.
After the break, we've got Scotty and Matty G. on pianos singing Billy Joel's "Tell Her About It"--this could actually be kind of good. And it's pretty awesome. Scott sounds better tonight than he EVER did on any night last season. We love you Matt! Call us!
We're back, and time for more results. Crystal's up and is through, of course. Yay Crystal! Big Mike's turn, and he's looking at Kara like, please don't start crying again. Also he's wearing some crazy cool medallions. And he's in! Seacrest basically calls him a fat ass and tells him to go see if he can fit in a stool. That's like this year's high fiving of the blind guy.
Lacey's up--if she's in, Katie Stevens is totally out. I can't be lucky enough to lose Todrick AND weird Lilly in one night. And Lacey is in. Meh. I have no idea how she even made it past week one, but she's not that offensive to me, I guess. Puppy Aaron's turn with Ryan. Ew, he talks about how he grew up watching this show, which makes me feel old and shrively. Aaron's through, which is not surprising even though he kind of blew last night.
So we're down to Lilly and Katie and Andrew and Alex. The guys go to Ryan first. I have a feeling it might be the end of the road for Andrew. I like both of these guys, I'll be sad to see either of them go. Oooh, I'm surprised, Andrew is in! I feel kind of bad for Alex, that lil mullet was growing on me. Aww, he's crying. This breaks my heart, he's such a sweet lil guy.
Finally, down to the last two girls. Lilly and Katie. I mean, Lilly gets on my last nerve, but Katie really REALLY sucked on Tuesday, so who knows? What the shit is Lilly wearing, seriously. That totally looks like a tunic that she's trying to pull off as a dress. I can almost see her world. Shudder. And.....KATIE IS IN?? NO WAY. We actually got rid of two people who I couldn't stand tonight??? Honestly, between Lilly/Crystal/Siobhan, there were split votes between their type of "uniqueness" and I guess it's not that surprising that Lilly's out.
So we've got our top 12! Tune in Tuesday for Rolling Stones theme night. We'll laugh, we'll cry, and our jaws will drop in awe and disgust, but maybe not as much because Todrick's gone, hahaha. Later gators!
Blah blah, super dramatic, 12 shiny silver stools waiting for butts to warm them. They left it ALL ON THE FLOOR last night.
Turrible group number to Michael Buble's "Haven't Met You Yet." I enjoy this song, I like Michael Buble but this is all kinds of Idol cheesy and corny as per usual.
First round of girls is up. Didi is in! Siobhan is in! Hooray! We're down to Paige and Katelyn, and I really don't understand who is voting for Paige. She is NOT. GOOD. Poor Katelyn gets the shaft and probably regrets ever knowing the lyrics to "I Feel The Earth Move." Bye Katelyn.
BREAKING NEWS--the first theme week is Rolling Stones music. Which, like the Beatles, could either be awesome or an epic fail.
Now the first round of guys. Seacrest calls Tim, Todrick, Lee and Casey to the floor. After some jacking around with Casey about Kara, he's the first guy through. Tim is also through, and looks like he doesn't believe it. We're down to Todrick and Lee, and come on....Lee totally should be in. And he is!! Todrick is finally OUT! YESSSSS.
After the break, we've got Scotty and Matty G. on pianos singing Billy Joel's "Tell Her About It"--this could actually be kind of good. And it's pretty awesome. Scott sounds better tonight than he EVER did on any night last season. We love you Matt! Call us!
We're back, and time for more results. Crystal's up and is through, of course. Yay Crystal! Big Mike's turn, and he's looking at Kara like, please don't start crying again. Also he's wearing some crazy cool medallions. And he's in! Seacrest basically calls him a fat ass and tells him to go see if he can fit in a stool. That's like this year's high fiving of the blind guy.
Lacey's up--if she's in, Katie Stevens is totally out. I can't be lucky enough to lose Todrick AND weird Lilly in one night. And Lacey is in. Meh. I have no idea how she even made it past week one, but she's not that offensive to me, I guess. Puppy Aaron's turn with Ryan. Ew, he talks about how he grew up watching this show, which makes me feel old and shrively. Aaron's through, which is not surprising even though he kind of blew last night.
So we're down to Lilly and Katie and Andrew and Alex. The guys go to Ryan first. I have a feeling it might be the end of the road for Andrew. I like both of these guys, I'll be sad to see either of them go. Oooh, I'm surprised, Andrew is in! I feel kind of bad for Alex, that lil mullet was growing on me. Aww, he's crying. This breaks my heart, he's such a sweet lil guy.
Finally, down to the last two girls. Lilly and Katie. I mean, Lilly gets on my last nerve, but Katie really REALLY sucked on Tuesday, so who knows? What the shit is Lilly wearing, seriously. That totally looks like a tunic that she's trying to pull off as a dress. I can almost see her world. Shudder. And.....KATIE IS IN?? NO WAY. We actually got rid of two people who I couldn't stand tonight??? Honestly, between Lilly/Crystal/Siobhan, there were split votes between their type of "uniqueness" and I guess it's not that surprising that Lilly's out.
So we've got our top 12! Tune in Tuesday for Rolling Stones theme night. We'll laugh, we'll cry, and our jaws will drop in awe and disgust, but maybe not as much because Todrick's gone, hahaha. Later gators!
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
I've heard there was a secret chord...
Last night, the girls put everyone to sleep with their efforts to crack the top 12. Let's hope the guys are a little more upbeat this evening. Also Tim, take off your shirt. THIS is American Idol!
Why do people even clap for Randy any more? I love these shortened episodes so much, Ryan's like on speed. And no filler! Woot!
Up first is Lee Dewyze singing the worst song ever, aka "Fireflies" by Owl City. I'm sorry, but I hate this song. Did you guys ever listen to the lyrics? What the hell is that guy talking about? I really love Lee though. A lot. I think his voice is great. He's kind of like this little hobbit that came out of nowhere that I didn't think I was gonna get into....kind of like Siobhan LOL. They always tell Lee he has pitch problems, but I never notice it. Which is why I'm not a judge I guess.
After the break, we've got Alex Lambert doing "Trouble." He's another odd one. He's got a really interesting voice, I like this song, but as we've stated....mullet. If he makes the top 12, you think they'll make him cut it off? This performance was okay, nothing made me jump out of my seat, but it was respectable enough. I'd rather have him in the top 12 than crazy Todrick though. Some weird judge advice follows, including picturing Randy in a bikini...I'm just not going there.
OK, Tim's up next and he is unfortunately wearing a shirt. BOO. He's singing "Hallelujah" which I don't think has been done on this show since Castro. Correct me if I'm wrong. Personally, I think this is the best Tim's sounded these past three weeks. Also I think he's missing a tooth. WTF is it with these contestants and their janked up teeth this year? I'm glad he didn't try to go to a falsetto place in this song, because it totally would not have worked. Tim's reactions to the judges are my favorite...he always looks like a deer in headlights and like he's about to cry.
Commercials are over and Andrew Garcia's up next. Come on, Andy, don't let me down. Dear Lord, he's singing Xtina's "Genie in a Bottle", this is either going to be freakin' amazing or a total train wreck. And...it's pretty cool. A little weird, but cool. It's basically an F U to the judges for bitching about how he should do something like "Straight Up" again, which I can respect. They judges all hate it, which just makes me so tired. STOP TALKING ABOUT STRAIGHT UP. I feel sorry for Andrew.
Next we've got Casey James with a Keith Urban song, "You'll Think of Me"...is this that take my cat and leave your sweater song? Oh yeah it is LOL. I really like Casey, but this isn't really anything to write home about. It sounds pretty good but it's sleepy. Why is everyone picking these slow ass songs?? Jesus. I love how the judges always comment when someone chooses to sit on a stool...why is that a big deal? It's lazy if you ask me. ;)
Babyface Aaron Kelly is next with "I'm Already There" by Lonestar. Oh no. Why is Aaron trying to go country? Was this always his thing? The beginning of this is way rough. I think it's kind of funny that he sang that line "A voice on the phone, saying Daddy when you coming home?"...really Aaron, whose daddy are you? Ha. Oooh the bridge of this gets bad. All pitchy up in here. Why does Randy always say Lee is pitchy but he always tells Aaron how good he is?? WTF, I thought he sounded turrrrrible.
Jesus, Todrick's singing Queen. I am probably going to hate this. Brenna and I were discussing him this past week, and he really doesn't have a bad voice. He's just so cocky and obnoxious. If he had a better personality, I probably could like him. Anyway, "Somebody to Love" and he starts out sounding like Glee. Way to piggyback on that phenomenon, T. I've listened to the Glee version of this song so many times over the past month, so it's what's stuck in my head. There's a LOT of backup singing in this. Also, I would need an entirely separate blog to discuss WTF is going on with his look right now. Just....God.
Mike Lynche is in the pimp spot tonight. Singing "This Woman's Work" by Maxwell. I love how he's dressed. Big Mike's rockin' the house here. This is so fly. I love when the contestants get all into it. He nails the money note at the end. Probably because I liked this, the judges will all say it was stupid. Holy shit, Kara's bawling right now. And I was totally wrong about the judges LOL. Go Mike!
So it was a pretty boring night overall. I honestly can't say who is going home. I mean Aaron sucked, but I think he's got the votes locked up so it's a total toss up. Tomorrow night is going to be interesting. I can't believe the top 12 will finally be named...this season is taking forever. See you tomorrow!
Why do people even clap for Randy any more? I love these shortened episodes so much, Ryan's like on speed. And no filler! Woot!
Up first is Lee Dewyze singing the worst song ever, aka "Fireflies" by Owl City. I'm sorry, but I hate this song. Did you guys ever listen to the lyrics? What the hell is that guy talking about? I really love Lee though. A lot. I think his voice is great. He's kind of like this little hobbit that came out of nowhere that I didn't think I was gonna get into....kind of like Siobhan LOL. They always tell Lee he has pitch problems, but I never notice it. Which is why I'm not a judge I guess.
After the break, we've got Alex Lambert doing "Trouble." He's another odd one. He's got a really interesting voice, I like this song, but as we've stated....mullet. If he makes the top 12, you think they'll make him cut it off? This performance was okay, nothing made me jump out of my seat, but it was respectable enough. I'd rather have him in the top 12 than crazy Todrick though. Some weird judge advice follows, including picturing Randy in a bikini...I'm just not going there.
OK, Tim's up next and he is unfortunately wearing a shirt. BOO. He's singing "Hallelujah" which I don't think has been done on this show since Castro. Correct me if I'm wrong. Personally, I think this is the best Tim's sounded these past three weeks. Also I think he's missing a tooth. WTF is it with these contestants and their janked up teeth this year? I'm glad he didn't try to go to a falsetto place in this song, because it totally would not have worked. Tim's reactions to the judges are my favorite...he always looks like a deer in headlights and like he's about to cry.
Commercials are over and Andrew Garcia's up next. Come on, Andy, don't let me down. Dear Lord, he's singing Xtina's "Genie in a Bottle", this is either going to be freakin' amazing or a total train wreck. And...it's pretty cool. A little weird, but cool. It's basically an F U to the judges for bitching about how he should do something like "Straight Up" again, which I can respect. They judges all hate it, which just makes me so tired. STOP TALKING ABOUT STRAIGHT UP. I feel sorry for Andrew.
Next we've got Casey James with a Keith Urban song, "You'll Think of Me"...is this that take my cat and leave your sweater song? Oh yeah it is LOL. I really like Casey, but this isn't really anything to write home about. It sounds pretty good but it's sleepy. Why is everyone picking these slow ass songs?? Jesus. I love how the judges always comment when someone chooses to sit on a stool...why is that a big deal? It's lazy if you ask me. ;)
Babyface Aaron Kelly is next with "I'm Already There" by Lonestar. Oh no. Why is Aaron trying to go country? Was this always his thing? The beginning of this is way rough. I think it's kind of funny that he sang that line "A voice on the phone, saying Daddy when you coming home?"...really Aaron, whose daddy are you? Ha. Oooh the bridge of this gets bad. All pitchy up in here. Why does Randy always say Lee is pitchy but he always tells Aaron how good he is?? WTF, I thought he sounded turrrrrible.
Jesus, Todrick's singing Queen. I am probably going to hate this. Brenna and I were discussing him this past week, and he really doesn't have a bad voice. He's just so cocky and obnoxious. If he had a better personality, I probably could like him. Anyway, "Somebody to Love" and he starts out sounding like Glee. Way to piggyback on that phenomenon, T. I've listened to the Glee version of this song so many times over the past month, so it's what's stuck in my head. There's a LOT of backup singing in this. Also, I would need an entirely separate blog to discuss WTF is going on with his look right now. Just....God.
Mike Lynche is in the pimp spot tonight. Singing "This Woman's Work" by Maxwell. I love how he's dressed. Big Mike's rockin' the house here. This is so fly. I love when the contestants get all into it. He nails the money note at the end. Probably because I liked this, the judges will all say it was stupid. Holy shit, Kara's bawling right now. And I was totally wrong about the judges LOL. Go Mike!
So it was a pretty boring night overall. I honestly can't say who is going home. I mean Aaron sucked, but I think he's got the votes locked up so it's a total toss up. Tomorrow night is going to be interesting. I can't believe the top 12 will finally be named...this season is taking forever. See you tomorrow!
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
The last week of Idol hell! Go!
This is the last week of three Idols/week, which makes Lindsay & me incredibly happy. This is a commitment, yo. Top 12 next week! Let me begin by saying I covet Kara's shirt, it's gorgeous. And no filler! We get right to it. Woo, let's go.
Katie sings K-Clarkson's Breakaway. Yikes, it's all over the place. It's terrible. First of the night + awful performance + trying to sing Kelly Clarkson = not good for Katie. Kara tells her she doesn't know who she is as an artist, to which I say, she is 16 and no one knows who they are at 16. When I was 16 I was dating a guy who was gay and thought when I was 28 I'd be living in New York City performing on Broadway & married to Leonardo DiCaprio, so there.
Siobhan (whose name I still don't know how to spell without looking) is singing House of the Rising Sun. The girl needs some lessons on stage presence and fashion, but OMG, musically it is flawless. I could listen to her voice all night long, seriously, it is THAT GOOD. Also, remember back when we watched every week to see what Cookster would do, because you never quite knew what to expect? I feel like that with Siobhan this year. I think I just jumped on her bandwagon.
Lacey is up next with no delay... sucks for her. She's singing The Story. All I can concentrate on is her nails, which are painted the green color of an Easter jelly bean. It's not awful, I suppose, but after Siobhan she just looks weak, and I'm still offended by her nail color. Somehow the judges give her more praise than they gave Siobhan. Epic fail. Go home, Lacey.
Katelyn is singing I Feel the Earth Move from behind a weird little keyboard. I could do without the keyboard. You gotta groove to this song. You're probably shimmying right now just thinking about it, I know. I don't think anything would've compared to last week, and to be honest, I'm a little bored by this performance. I really hope American doesn't just think of this week when voting.
Brooke 2.0, I mean Didi, tackles some Fleetwood Mac with just her guitar. She sounds really good, but I don't know if one of these folksy girls is ever actually going to win. This is definitely music I'd listen to, but I don't know if I'm going to turn on this show wondering what Didi is going to do. The judges loved her, and Simon calls her entire performance a "wow moment." Wow indeed. I might need to rewind & watch that one again.
Paige is next, singing Smile. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. I'm sorry, I just slept through that entire performance. The judges rip her apart, and I'm thinking this is the end of the road for Paige.
Oooh, Crystal is singing one of my favorite songs, Gimmee One Reason. Perfect song choice. She sounds amazing. I can't really say anymore about Crystal, she's fantastic, she's sticking around. For as little as Katie knows about what artist she is, Crystal knows it 1,000%. The judges all love her.
Lilly closes out the show with I Fall to Pieces. I don't know this song, and it's annoying. She should do some Amy Winehouse, her voice is perfect for it. The judges enjoy it, I'm not blown away, and with that, we're done. I love these one-hour shows.
My votes to go home are Katie and Paige. I'd like Lacey to go home, but Katie was so not good tonight. Lindsay has the boys tomorrow. See you then!
Katie sings K-Clarkson's Breakaway. Yikes, it's all over the place. It's terrible. First of the night + awful performance + trying to sing Kelly Clarkson = not good for Katie. Kara tells her she doesn't know who she is as an artist, to which I say, she is 16 and no one knows who they are at 16. When I was 16 I was dating a guy who was gay and thought when I was 28 I'd be living in New York City performing on Broadway & married to Leonardo DiCaprio, so there.
Siobhan (whose name I still don't know how to spell without looking) is singing House of the Rising Sun. The girl needs some lessons on stage presence and fashion, but OMG, musically it is flawless. I could listen to her voice all night long, seriously, it is THAT GOOD. Also, remember back when we watched every week to see what Cookster would do, because you never quite knew what to expect? I feel like that with Siobhan this year. I think I just jumped on her bandwagon.
Lacey is up next with no delay... sucks for her. She's singing The Story. All I can concentrate on is her nails, which are painted the green color of an Easter jelly bean. It's not awful, I suppose, but after Siobhan she just looks weak, and I'm still offended by her nail color. Somehow the judges give her more praise than they gave Siobhan. Epic fail. Go home, Lacey.
Katelyn is singing I Feel the Earth Move from behind a weird little keyboard. I could do without the keyboard. You gotta groove to this song. You're probably shimmying right now just thinking about it, I know. I don't think anything would've compared to last week, and to be honest, I'm a little bored by this performance. I really hope American doesn't just think of this week when voting.
Brooke 2.0, I mean Didi, tackles some Fleetwood Mac with just her guitar. She sounds really good, but I don't know if one of these folksy girls is ever actually going to win. This is definitely music I'd listen to, but I don't know if I'm going to turn on this show wondering what Didi is going to do. The judges loved her, and Simon calls her entire performance a "wow moment." Wow indeed. I might need to rewind & watch that one again.
Paige is next, singing Smile. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. I'm sorry, I just slept through that entire performance. The judges rip her apart, and I'm thinking this is the end of the road for Paige.
Oooh, Crystal is singing one of my favorite songs, Gimmee One Reason. Perfect song choice. She sounds amazing. I can't really say anymore about Crystal, she's fantastic, she's sticking around. For as little as Katie knows about what artist she is, Crystal knows it 1,000%. The judges all love her.
Lilly closes out the show with I Fall to Pieces. I don't know this song, and it's annoying. She should do some Amy Winehouse, her voice is perfect for it. The judges enjoy it, I'm not blown away, and with that, we're done. I love these one-hour shows.
My votes to go home are Katie and Paige. I'd like Lacey to go home, but Katie was so not good tonight. Lindsay has the boys tomorrow. See you then!
Thursday, March 4, 2010
You better think, America.
Hello, readers! Time for our top 10 girls.
Crystal is up first, thankfully out of the hospital. Yay! Fun fact: she has a twin brother named Carl. She's singing Long as I Can See the Light, which is a song that I don't really know, to be honest. It's totally jazzy and bluesy and gospelly, and sisters, I am attending the Church of Crystal. Also, I'm pretty sure I have her earrings in gold. Randy: "truth is reality." Um, really? Ok. Also, Simons "misunderestimated" her. Well, maybe next time you should estimate her. ($10 to the first person who gets that quote.) Basically, the judges all love her.
Haeley's fun fact is that she likes to make things. Borrrrrring. She's singing Miley Cyrus, but not Party in the USA or See You Again. Boo. This definitely suits her better than last week's, but it's kinda rough in spots. The judges aren't fans. Haeley annoys me.
Lacey likes to shop for antique furniture and actually has created some pretty cool stuff. She's singing Kiss Me. Help, what late '90s movie was this from? Was it She's All That? It is soooo not good, and her shirt has puffy shoulders. Shudder. Randy says it could have worked... if she could sing, I think. America, please do the right thing and send Lacey home.
Katie can say give me a kiss in six different languages. OMG, Katie, so boring. She's singing Put Your Records On, which equals a 1,000% improvement in song choice over last week. She sounds good, but I kinda get the vibe of a high school show choir. Maybe Katie should be on Glee. Can't you picture her as Rachel's nemesis? God, that show needs to get back in my life ASAP.
It wasn't till tonight that I realized just how much Didi reminds me of Brooke. Please don't have a breakdown like Brooke did. Didi was a mascot in middle school. Yay, finally an interesting fun fact!! She sings Lean on Me, a fun little bluegrass version, and I think it's quite good. The judges don't agree, because why would they actually like someone I like? Also, Kara is uber bitchy tonight.
Michelle is up next, and she's singing a Creed song. I wish I could fast-forward through her performance, because Creed literally makes me want to go deaf. The things I do for you readers, all four of you. ;) In addition to the awfulness of the song, Michelle isn't that good singing it. Ugh, double whammy. Kara and Simon actually like it. WTF, why am I never in agreement with them this year? Apparently Vera Wang is in the audience tonight too. Idol is getting to be so strange.
Lilly plays a lot of different instruments. Zzzzzz. I want someone to tell me they were in the Peace Corps, or are an accomplished bungee jumper, or something. She is singing A Change is Gonna Come. Here's the thing about Lilly: she annoys me on this show a little, but she sings the kind of music that I'd actually purchase. She may be growing on me. It's actually a really good performance, and the judges adore her as well.
Katelyn's fun fact is that she was studying to be a recording engineer, and she'd like to open her own studio someday. That's an interesting one. She's singing The Scientist, which is one of my favorite songs and one I thought I'd try if I ever actually auditioned for this show. The opening montage for the Stanley Cup Finals last year on CBC was set to this song, and Natasha Bedingfield does a fantastic version of it (I typed that before Simon mentioned it, and they're so not identical by the way). Anyways, back to Katelyn's version - it's already a slow song and she slows it down even more. Not a big fan of that. She sounds fabulous, though.
Paige likes to color. THESE PEOPLE ARE SO BORING. I actually completely forgot about Paige since last week, which doesn't bode well for her. Also not boding well: she's singing Walk Away by K-Clarkson, which is also one of my favorites. It's not terrible, but I'm very easily distracted during it, which means I wasn't that into it. Kara actually wrote the song, and she tells Paige about how pissed she was at the guy it's about when she wrote it, and it all makes me remember why I loved Kara when she first joined the show.
Siobhan has the pimp spot tonight, and she is wearing an atrocious outfit. Man, she's awkward. Her fun fact is that she had a mohawk. That kind of makes me heart her. She's doing some Aretha tonight. (That's the first time you've probably ever read "mohawk" and "Aretha" in the same paragraph, right?) I'm so perplexed by Siobhan. She sounds absolutely fantastic, but when compared to last week, I'm just baffled by her song choices, and then her look just doesn't match anything else. But no questioning it, the girl can sing.
Well, that actually all made me feel much better about this season. My choices to go home after are probably Haeley and Lacey. Please, America get it right this week. Lindsay will take the results for you! Enjoy.
Crystal is up first, thankfully out of the hospital. Yay! Fun fact: she has a twin brother named Carl. She's singing Long as I Can See the Light, which is a song that I don't really know, to be honest. It's totally jazzy and bluesy and gospelly, and sisters, I am attending the Church of Crystal. Also, I'm pretty sure I have her earrings in gold. Randy: "truth is reality." Um, really? Ok. Also, Simons "misunderestimated" her. Well, maybe next time you should estimate her. ($10 to the first person who gets that quote.) Basically, the judges all love her.
Haeley's fun fact is that she likes to make things. Borrrrrring. She's singing Miley Cyrus, but not Party in the USA or See You Again. Boo. This definitely suits her better than last week's, but it's kinda rough in spots. The judges aren't fans. Haeley annoys me.
Lacey likes to shop for antique furniture and actually has created some pretty cool stuff. She's singing Kiss Me. Help, what late '90s movie was this from? Was it She's All That? It is soooo not good, and her shirt has puffy shoulders. Shudder. Randy says it could have worked... if she could sing, I think. America, please do the right thing and send Lacey home.
Katie can say give me a kiss in six different languages. OMG, Katie, so boring. She's singing Put Your Records On, which equals a 1,000% improvement in song choice over last week. She sounds good, but I kinda get the vibe of a high school show choir. Maybe Katie should be on Glee. Can't you picture her as Rachel's nemesis? God, that show needs to get back in my life ASAP.
It wasn't till tonight that I realized just how much Didi reminds me of Brooke. Please don't have a breakdown like Brooke did. Didi was a mascot in middle school. Yay, finally an interesting fun fact!! She sings Lean on Me, a fun little bluegrass version, and I think it's quite good. The judges don't agree, because why would they actually like someone I like? Also, Kara is uber bitchy tonight.
Michelle is up next, and she's singing a Creed song. I wish I could fast-forward through her performance, because Creed literally makes me want to go deaf. The things I do for you readers, all four of you. ;) In addition to the awfulness of the song, Michelle isn't that good singing it. Ugh, double whammy. Kara and Simon actually like it. WTF, why am I never in agreement with them this year? Apparently Vera Wang is in the audience tonight too. Idol is getting to be so strange.
Lilly plays a lot of different instruments. Zzzzzz. I want someone to tell me they were in the Peace Corps, or are an accomplished bungee jumper, or something. She is singing A Change is Gonna Come. Here's the thing about Lilly: she annoys me on this show a little, but she sings the kind of music that I'd actually purchase. She may be growing on me. It's actually a really good performance, and the judges adore her as well.
Katelyn's fun fact is that she was studying to be a recording engineer, and she'd like to open her own studio someday. That's an interesting one. She's singing The Scientist, which is one of my favorite songs and one I thought I'd try if I ever actually auditioned for this show. The opening montage for the Stanley Cup Finals last year on CBC was set to this song, and Natasha Bedingfield does a fantastic version of it (I typed that before Simon mentioned it, and they're so not identical by the way). Anyways, back to Katelyn's version - it's already a slow song and she slows it down even more. Not a big fan of that. She sounds fabulous, though.
Paige likes to color. THESE PEOPLE ARE SO BORING. I actually completely forgot about Paige since last week, which doesn't bode well for her. Also not boding well: she's singing Walk Away by K-Clarkson, which is also one of my favorites. It's not terrible, but I'm very easily distracted during it, which means I wasn't that into it. Kara actually wrote the song, and she tells Paige about how pissed she was at the guy it's about when she wrote it, and it all makes me remember why I loved Kara when she first joined the show.
Siobhan has the pimp spot tonight, and she is wearing an atrocious outfit. Man, she's awkward. Her fun fact is that she had a mohawk. That kind of makes me heart her. She's doing some Aretha tonight. (That's the first time you've probably ever read "mohawk" and "Aretha" in the same paragraph, right?) I'm so perplexed by Siobhan. She sounds absolutely fantastic, but when compared to last week, I'm just baffled by her song choices, and then her look just doesn't match anything else. But no questioning it, the girl can sing.
Well, that actually all made me feel much better about this season. My choices to go home after are probably Haeley and Lacey. Please, America get it right this week. Lindsay will take the results for you! Enjoy.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Switcheroo!
So tonight, we're getting the guys first, and the ladies on Wednesday. This is unfortunately due to the fact that Crystal Bowersox had a medical emergency on Tuesday morning. She is apparently a diabetic, and had some complications related to that. Scary. Hope you get well soon, Crystal!
But on with the guys! Let's hope most of them got it together from last week, with a few exceptions. I'm looking at you, Todrick. Please continue to suck, KTHXBAI. OMG what is up with Kara's hair???? Did she just roll out of bed to come to the show? Or forget what a brush and conditioner are? YIKES, Kara.
Oh man, tonight is where we find out the "fun" facts about the contestants that we didn't know. Remember when Cookster said he liked crosswords? LOL. OK, so Big Mike is a theatre geek. We get some excellent footage of him in some sort of musical. He's singing "This is a Man's World" by James Brown. Wow, it's really good. It's nothing like last week, either, which is good because he's versatile. And also, he wasn't great last week, haha.
John Park's fun fact is that English is his second language. Korean is his first. Not really rocking the boat with that revelation there, John. He's singing "Gravity" by John Mayer, which is one of my all time faves. This is...eh. I think John has a good voice generally but I'm not sure what's up with this performance. It's kind of boring. The judges all hate it, too. Sorry, John. Maybe someone else will suck harder tonight and you'll be safe.
Casey's fun fact is that he's being sexually harassed by Kara. Just kidding! He hasn't owned a TV for most of his life. OMG, because lightning struck his house! Yikes. He's doing "I Don't Wanna Be" by Gavin DeGraw, aka the funnest song that Elliot Yamin ever sang. LMAO and he doesn't want to tell his preshow ritual because he doesn't want the other contestants to steal it. I kind of love Casey. This performance is okay, but not spectacular. GOD, Kara, SHUT UP. You aren't a cougar. He kind of gets a mixed bag of reviews from the judges which appears to be par for the course this year.
Alex Lambert is up next. His fun fact is how he created his own language when he was in sixth grade. Yawn. He's singing "Everybody Knows" by John Legend. You guys, I cannot get over his mullet. Did I miss the memo that the mullet is coming back?? WOW, this is a million times better than last week. He still looks terrified but he sounds really great. Ooh, except for that one falsetto note at the end. HA, Ellen totally calls out his mullet. I love it. He gets rave reviews from the judges.
God, Todrick. Why the hell is he singing Tina Turner? Anyway, fun fact is that he's a trained ballet dancer. Why is he doing pushups in front of poor Katie Stevens? I hate this guy. So yeah, he's doing "What's Love (Got To Do With It?)" by Tina Turner. OF course, as per last week, he changes it all up and it barely even sounds like the original. I get that the judges ask for that sometimes, but sometimes you gotta just sing the song. FINALLY Randy says something I can respect, calling him out for rearranging shit all the time and not just singing.
I can't believe we're only half done right now. Up next is Jermaine Sellers, and his unique fact is that he....wears onesies. Oh my God. I am so terrified of Jermaine right now. Tonight he's singing "What's Goin' On" by Marvin Gaye. This is after he says he's going to be "younger", so I'm not really sure how that's going to work. I think Jermaine has a really nice voice, but this song is so sleepy and boring. So two weeks in a row, two boring ballads from Jermaine. Come on, buddy. Oh geez, here comes the backtalk. Shut up, Jermaine.
Andrew Garcia's fun fact is that he can breakdance. Riveting. These contestants are so boring! I totally disagreed with the judges last week, I thought he was awesome. I love Andrew. He's singing "You Give Me Something" by James Morrison tonight. Why is everyone picking these sleepy songs? Casey was the only one who did something up tempo. I really like this song, and I really like Andrew, but I think this was a bad pick for him. It's not working. DAMMIT Andrew! OMG Ellen stop talking about when he did the Paula Abdul song!!
Adorable puppy dog Aaron Kelly is next. What the hell secret is a 16 year old going to have to share with us? Oh, he loves photography. He's sweet, at least he has a backup in case this whole singing thing doesn't work out. He's singing "My Girl" by the Temptations tonight. He starts out really strong and sounds good, but it kind of gets a little messy towards the middle and the end falls apart a bit. I kind of love Aaron though. I think he’s safe because he’s got the tween and granny vote locked up.
OK, before I recap Tim Urban, I just gotta say that some shirtless pics of him surfaced online and I am now looking at him in a whole new light. Ahem. What? Holy bajeezus, he has 9 siblings. Four brothers, five sisters. That’s way too many people in one house, guys. He’s singing a Matt Nathanson song…I love Matt Nathanson. “Come On Get Higher” is the song. Already this is a zillion times better than last week. He’s better on the chorus than on the verses, but I still wouldn’t call him one of the best. Take off your shirt, Tim!
In the pimp spot is Lee Dewyze. Hey, I got his name on the first try! Whoop! Ok, his unique fact is that he went to a high school for like, juvie kids. Yikes, Lee. Tonight he’s singing “Lips of an Angel” by Hinder, and this may make me totally uncool, but I love this song. Shut up, everyone. Lee is starting to grow on me. Judging by the yelps coming from the audience, he’s growing on other people too LOL. I personally think this is awesome. Who knew Lee would be our “rocker” guy this year?
So tonight, best of the night in my opinion goes to Mike, Lee, and shockingly, Alex the mullet. Worst was probably John Park, Todrick and everyone else kind of falls in there somewhere. Brenna will take you through the ladies on Wednesday! Hopefully Crystal is able to perform…see you then!
But on with the guys! Let's hope most of them got it together from last week, with a few exceptions. I'm looking at you, Todrick. Please continue to suck, KTHXBAI. OMG what is up with Kara's hair???? Did she just roll out of bed to come to the show? Or forget what a brush and conditioner are? YIKES, Kara.
Oh man, tonight is where we find out the "fun" facts about the contestants that we didn't know. Remember when Cookster said he liked crosswords? LOL. OK, so Big Mike is a theatre geek. We get some excellent footage of him in some sort of musical. He's singing "This is a Man's World" by James Brown. Wow, it's really good. It's nothing like last week, either, which is good because he's versatile. And also, he wasn't great last week, haha.
John Park's fun fact is that English is his second language. Korean is his first. Not really rocking the boat with that revelation there, John. He's singing "Gravity" by John Mayer, which is one of my all time faves. This is...eh. I think John has a good voice generally but I'm not sure what's up with this performance. It's kind of boring. The judges all hate it, too. Sorry, John. Maybe someone else will suck harder tonight and you'll be safe.
Casey's fun fact is that he's being sexually harassed by Kara. Just kidding! He hasn't owned a TV for most of his life. OMG, because lightning struck his house! Yikes. He's doing "I Don't Wanna Be" by Gavin DeGraw, aka the funnest song that Elliot Yamin ever sang. LMAO and he doesn't want to tell his preshow ritual because he doesn't want the other contestants to steal it. I kind of love Casey. This performance is okay, but not spectacular. GOD, Kara, SHUT UP. You aren't a cougar. He kind of gets a mixed bag of reviews from the judges which appears to be par for the course this year.
Alex Lambert is up next. His fun fact is how he created his own language when he was in sixth grade. Yawn. He's singing "Everybody Knows" by John Legend. You guys, I cannot get over his mullet. Did I miss the memo that the mullet is coming back?? WOW, this is a million times better than last week. He still looks terrified but he sounds really great. Ooh, except for that one falsetto note at the end. HA, Ellen totally calls out his mullet. I love it. He gets rave reviews from the judges.
God, Todrick. Why the hell is he singing Tina Turner? Anyway, fun fact is that he's a trained ballet dancer. Why is he doing pushups in front of poor Katie Stevens? I hate this guy. So yeah, he's doing "What's Love (Got To Do With It?)" by Tina Turner. OF course, as per last week, he changes it all up and it barely even sounds like the original. I get that the judges ask for that sometimes, but sometimes you gotta just sing the song. FINALLY Randy says something I can respect, calling him out for rearranging shit all the time and not just singing.
I can't believe we're only half done right now. Up next is Jermaine Sellers, and his unique fact is that he....wears onesies. Oh my God. I am so terrified of Jermaine right now. Tonight he's singing "What's Goin' On" by Marvin Gaye. This is after he says he's going to be "younger", so I'm not really sure how that's going to work. I think Jermaine has a really nice voice, but this song is so sleepy and boring. So two weeks in a row, two boring ballads from Jermaine. Come on, buddy. Oh geez, here comes the backtalk. Shut up, Jermaine.
Andrew Garcia's fun fact is that he can breakdance. Riveting. These contestants are so boring! I totally disagreed with the judges last week, I thought he was awesome. I love Andrew. He's singing "You Give Me Something" by James Morrison tonight. Why is everyone picking these sleepy songs? Casey was the only one who did something up tempo. I really like this song, and I really like Andrew, but I think this was a bad pick for him. It's not working. DAMMIT Andrew! OMG Ellen stop talking about when he did the Paula Abdul song!!
Adorable puppy dog Aaron Kelly is next. What the hell secret is a 16 year old going to have to share with us? Oh, he loves photography. He's sweet, at least he has a backup in case this whole singing thing doesn't work out. He's singing "My Girl" by the Temptations tonight. He starts out really strong and sounds good, but it kind of gets a little messy towards the middle and the end falls apart a bit. I kind of love Aaron though. I think he’s safe because he’s got the tween and granny vote locked up.
OK, before I recap Tim Urban, I just gotta say that some shirtless pics of him surfaced online and I am now looking at him in a whole new light. Ahem. What? Holy bajeezus, he has 9 siblings. Four brothers, five sisters. That’s way too many people in one house, guys. He’s singing a Matt Nathanson song…I love Matt Nathanson. “Come On Get Higher” is the song. Already this is a zillion times better than last week. He’s better on the chorus than on the verses, but I still wouldn’t call him one of the best. Take off your shirt, Tim!
In the pimp spot is Lee Dewyze. Hey, I got his name on the first try! Whoop! Ok, his unique fact is that he went to a high school for like, juvie kids. Yikes, Lee. Tonight he’s singing “Lips of an Angel” by Hinder, and this may make me totally uncool, but I love this song. Shut up, everyone. Lee is starting to grow on me. Judging by the yelps coming from the audience, he’s growing on other people too LOL. I personally think this is awesome. Who knew Lee would be our “rocker” guy this year?
So tonight, best of the night in my opinion goes to Mike, Lee, and shockingly, Alex the mullet. Worst was probably John Park, Todrick and everyone else kind of falls in there somewhere. Brenna will take you through the ladies on Wednesday! Hopefully Crystal is able to perform…see you then!
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