Wow, here's a shocker, guys! The Idols appeared on Seacrest's radio show this week. I'm shocked - appalled! - at the blatant product placement. Oh who am I kidding. Let's get this iTunes commercial - I mean American Idol - started. Linds & I were under the impression that tonight was the Top 100 iTunes downloads from last week, but it doesn't look like that's the case... meaning, sadly, I don't think anyone is doing I'm On A Boat or Lady Gaga.
Snoop Anoop is up first! He's singing "Caught Up" by Ursher. God, I have high hopes for this and... well, first of all, let's talk about Anoop's drunk fraternity brothers in the audience. They are awesome. But anyways, Anoop is a great performer and I generally enjoy it, but I think his vocals were a little bit weak. He just didn't blow me away like he did the last two weeks. Good to see that in the spirit of Easter, Paula has worn a necklace made of jelly beans. The judges aren't too fond of it (Anoop, not Paula's necklace), and Anoop's friends are just wondering when they can go back to the hotel and do more beer bongs.
Megan is singing "Turn Your Lights Down Low," by Bob Marley/Lauryn Hill. Way to aim low, Megan. What is around her neck? It's like 800 necklaces and apparently the top of her shirt is made of chainmail. I'm completely bored by this song. She could've rocked some Amy Winehouse or Duffy or Joss Stone and redeemed herself after a few terrible weeks, but instead we get another terrible week in the Megan repetoire. The judges basically tell her that she bored them to tears, and then they repeat everything I had just written. (Literally. Randy name-dropped both Amy and Duffy.)
So right after a commercial for David Cook's new video, we get Danny Gokey, reminding me of how much he is NOT the Cookster. And oh nooooo, he is singing what honestly may be one of my top 5 least favorite songs EVER, "What Hurts The Most," by Rascal effing Flatts. Yikes, he sounds like he's shouting the high notes and the last note sort of goes all over the place. But the moms and the scary girls in the audience (Paula included) apparently love him. Simon calls it his best performance of the season, which I completely disagree with.
Allison is up next and she's doing "Don't Speak," which may be one of my top 5 favorite songs ever. Allison claims she grew up listening to this song. I think I was a sophomore in high school when it came out and I think Allison was maybe 3 then. (Wikipedia confirms - Tragic Kingdom came out in 1995, and Allison was born in 1992.) All around, it's pretty awesome, her ridiculous outfit and hair aside. The judges treat her hair and outfit like it's Sanjaya up there and fail to mention how kick ass the song was. Whatev, judges.
Let me repeat: I CAN NOT WAIT FOR GLEE. THEY JUST SANG DON'T STOP BELIEVIN' IN THE COMMERCIAL.
Scott is singing "Just the Way You Are," by the one and only Billy Joel, making me hate it already, because I love me some Billy Joel. River of Dreams Tour - my first concert. Anyways, it's all fine. Basically the same thing we've come to expect from Scott every single week. It's certainly not Billy Joel. Also, what is up with Scott's fro tonight?!
Matt is singing The Fray, so wake me up when it's over. Seriously, their songs are soooo boring. He's doing "You Found Me," at a keyboard in the middle of the mosh pit. WTF? Dude should've done "Cry Me a River." Eh, I suppose it's ok, but I'm really disappointed in his song choice when he had so many better ones to choose from. I'm a little worried about him this week, especially since he was in the bottom 2 last week.
Up next is Lil, who apparently thought long and hard about song choice and came up with... "Surrender." I love her hair this week! But the song is flat and screamy the entire way through and really not good at all. Oooh, her adorable kids are there tonight! Wearing adorable madras shorts! Again, terrible song choice. I'm with the judges that she should've picked a more contemporary R&B song. I am not with the judges that she performed well though. Are they distorting the sound for us TV viewers tonight?
Oh, goodie. Adam is doing "Play That Funky Music." I so wish he'd put on a blond wig and done some "Poker Face." Be prepared, people. I am actually going to give Adam a compliment. I really like this arrangement. I am still not going to say I like him, because I don't, but this is the first performance where I can actually understand why people like him. Paula then compares him to Mick Jagger and Steven Tyler. WHAAT?! Anyways, yeah, it was good, but I'm still not on board the Adam Lambert train. Hell, I'm not even at the station.
And in the pimp spot is Kris, this week taking on "Ain't No Sunshine." I'm praying he doesn't F it up. And...... WOW. That was spectacular. The arrangement was beautiful, and wow, who knew Kris had any soul. I already have this song downloaded but may need to get that version too. But wtf, judges? They definitely liked it, but earlier in the night they fell all over Danny Gokey's terrible song and with this one, they're just like, "Good job"?!
I'm worried for Anoop and Matt this week... they were just not up to par. Megan definitely deserves to go, and Scott may have saved himself with an average performance. Tomorrow we get the results AND David Cook AND Lady Gaga. I am thrilled to blog for you. See you then!
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Motown Idol, back again.
35 million Americans voted, and a lot of them stupidly. Some long drawn-out shenanigans regarding Simon and President Obama (?!). Recap of last night--Kris Allen is cute, Danny Gokey cannot dance, Anoop rules at life, Megan continued to make us question why the hell she's on this show, Lil was boring and talks too much, Sarver butchered my favorite Motown song of all time, Scott was typical Scott and wore an atrocious outfit, Adam effing ruled despite looking like a goth version of Zac Efron, Matt was super awesome and Allison knocked it out of the park, again.
Time for the group sing. What the hell is this? OK, correction: time for the pre-recorded, lip synched group sing. This is awful and weird. My husband, who is not a frequent viewer of this show, is six kinds of bewildered right now. "Why are they lip synching? Where is the audience? This is terrible." You said it, babe.
FORD! commercial to "Pocketful of Sunshine." I like that song, I think Natasha Bedingfield is cool. OK, time for results now? Nope, it's ROOOOOOOBEN's return to the Idol stage. He's still giant, still sweaty, and sings a song that sounds like all his other songs. Remember "Sorry 2004?" LMAO. Worst song of all time.
More footage and interviews of the kids about Motown, and finally, time for results. Adam--safe. Seacrest then throws us a total effing curve ball, and announces Matt is in the bottom three. What is wrong with you, America? WHAT. IS. WRONG. WITH. YOU. He better not be out, and if he is, they seriously need to use the judges' save on him. God, I'm so pissed right now.
Kris--safe. Down to Lil and Sarver. Come on. Seacrest dicks around for a while and finally tells Lil she's safe, and Sarver takes his rightful and usual place in the bottom three.
Time for Joss Stone and Smokey! I loved this. Joss Stone rules. Smokey is totally working it on her like he's trying to get her into bed afterwards. Damn, that girl can rock a maxi dress. You GO, Joss.
More results. Allison-SAFE! YES. Anoop--also SAFE. Thank God. Two out of three ain't bad. Please let Sarver go home. Danny--obviously safe, because it's going to come down to Megan and Scott. The weirdo and the blind guy.
And....Megan is safe. Whoa, kind of was shocked by that one. So the bottom three this week is Matt, Sarver and Scott. Totally did not ever, EVER think Matt would be there, and am surprised that between Scott and Megan, it came down to Scott.
But all of that is moot, because Ryan just told us that Scott is safe. Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit. So now it's down to Sarver and Matt. There's some jib jabbing around about the save, and Simon basically tells us that it will come down to the final performance of whoever it is.
First though, we have a 10-hour Motown medley by Stevie Wonder. I mean, don't get me wrong, Stevie is awesome, but did we need THREE musical appearances tonight, plus the horrible pre-taped Top 10 group number? Overkill, show.
Finally, results. I'm so, so pissed right now, I can't even watch, I have to stand in the other room and listen. WHEW. MICHAEL. Thank God. Now we have to hear him screw up "Ain't Too Proud To Beg" again. Sounds exactly the same as last night. Not great, not Idol-worthy. I vote no save.
Annnnnd...he's going home. And YES, I won the ew.com poll this week! Aww, he looks sad. You're a real sweet guy, Michael, but your time's up. At least you get to go on the tour!
So another week wrapped up. As long as President Obama doesn't jack up our TV schedule next week, Bren should bring you both nights of the show. Looking forward to next week's theme and trainwreckery! Later gators.
Time for the group sing. What the hell is this? OK, correction: time for the pre-recorded, lip synched group sing. This is awful and weird. My husband, who is not a frequent viewer of this show, is six kinds of bewildered right now. "Why are they lip synching? Where is the audience? This is terrible." You said it, babe.
FORD! commercial to "Pocketful of Sunshine." I like that song, I think Natasha Bedingfield is cool. OK, time for results now? Nope, it's ROOOOOOOBEN's return to the Idol stage. He's still giant, still sweaty, and sings a song that sounds like all his other songs. Remember "Sorry 2004?" LMAO. Worst song of all time.
More footage and interviews of the kids about Motown, and finally, time for results. Adam--safe. Seacrest then throws us a total effing curve ball, and announces Matt is in the bottom three. What is wrong with you, America? WHAT. IS. WRONG. WITH. YOU. He better not be out, and if he is, they seriously need to use the judges' save on him. God, I'm so pissed right now.
Kris--safe. Down to Lil and Sarver. Come on. Seacrest dicks around for a while and finally tells Lil she's safe, and Sarver takes his rightful and usual place in the bottom three.
Time for Joss Stone and Smokey! I loved this. Joss Stone rules. Smokey is totally working it on her like he's trying to get her into bed afterwards. Damn, that girl can rock a maxi dress. You GO, Joss.
More results. Allison-SAFE! YES. Anoop--also SAFE. Thank God. Two out of three ain't bad. Please let Sarver go home. Danny--obviously safe, because it's going to come down to Megan and Scott. The weirdo and the blind guy.
And....Megan is safe. Whoa, kind of was shocked by that one. So the bottom three this week is Matt, Sarver and Scott. Totally did not ever, EVER think Matt would be there, and am surprised that between Scott and Megan, it came down to Scott.
But all of that is moot, because Ryan just told us that Scott is safe. Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit. So now it's down to Sarver and Matt. There's some jib jabbing around about the save, and Simon basically tells us that it will come down to the final performance of whoever it is.
First though, we have a 10-hour Motown medley by Stevie Wonder. I mean, don't get me wrong, Stevie is awesome, but did we need THREE musical appearances tonight, plus the horrible pre-taped Top 10 group number? Overkill, show.
Finally, results. I'm so, so pissed right now, I can't even watch, I have to stand in the other room and listen. WHEW. MICHAEL. Thank God. Now we have to hear him screw up "Ain't Too Proud To Beg" again. Sounds exactly the same as last night. Not great, not Idol-worthy. I vote no save.
Annnnnd...he's going home. And YES, I won the ew.com poll this week! Aww, he looks sad. You're a real sweet guy, Michael, but your time's up. At least you get to go on the tour!
So another week wrapped up. As long as President Obama doesn't jack up our TV schedule next week, Bren should bring you both nights of the show. Looking forward to next week's theme and trainwreckery! Later gators.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Ain't too proud to blog
I'll be honest, folks, I'm not totally in the mood to blog tonight, but seeing Paula's tutu made it all worthwhile. It's Wednesday, it's 2 hours long, and I've got the Penguins beating the Flames on the NHL Network. But if anything can make me tune in, it's Motown night, so bring it on.
Is it me, or is this the longest intro ever?? I swear, there is Motown week every year, so I don't know why they feel the need to remind us what it is. But Smokey Robinson is there, and he rules, so I don't care. This week the contestants have no excuse about song choice, because there are about 500 fantastic Motown songs to choose from.
Matt kicks it off with "Let's Get It Freakin On," which is an awesome song choice. Smokey does an awesome "Marvin would love that" during their rehearsal, which is awesome, and Matt is awesome, and I'm just going to use awesome to keep describing this performance, because that's what it is. Also, apparently Matt & Randy pulled from the same cardigan closet tonight. Kara pulls out the cougar claws. Yikes.
Kris is up next, singing "How Sweet It Is." OMG, what is his shirt?? It's got way too much going on there. You guys remember in "American Pie" when Chris Klein joined show choir to get the girl & he left his lacrosse match to go to the show choir competition cuz he realized he was in love with the girl & then he sang this song with Mena Suvari? Yeah, that's the vibe I'm getting from this. It's nice, it's cute, it's good, but I'm not like, wow, I need to pick up the phone.
WHOA. Guys, Scott's outfit. If you didn't watch, I feel bad for you, because words can not do this justice. He is wearing pink jeans, a pink paisley shirt, and a brown pinstripe blazer. NONE of it matches. And I don't mean in a Chuck Bass non-matching-but-really-matching-and-looking-awesome way, I mean in a really, NOTHING MATCHING sort of way. He's singing "You Can't Hurry Love," and he says something about a man singing a Diane Ross song, and I think that I'm like 90% sure Clay Aiken once sang this. I also get the show choir vibe from this one. ZZZZZzzzzzzzzz. Also, it's terrible.
Megan is singing "For Once in My Life" and apparently doesn't have the flu as an excuse this week. Wow. Is she auditioning for a cruise ship cabaret singer job? Is she barefoot? Lindsay is going to have a fit at that. Oh, no, she has pale ballet flats on that don't work with the dress at all. OMG, this is awful. America, please put us all out of our misery. Paula starts off with something about her stunning beauty, which means they all think it's awful too.
And now it's time for Anoop, who I'm expecting a lot from tonight. He's taking on "Oooooh Baby Baby." Um, dear Anoop, what is that jacket? The falsetto portions are a little rough, but the lower parts are just gorgeous, so I'll give him a B+ for that one.
At this point, I switch to the Pens game, because my two favorites have already gone, and I need to build up my disdain for Adam Lambert.
Anyways, Michael is singing "Ain't Too Proud to Beg" and actually says he's going to "take it to church." He also claims to have "soul roots." Um, Michael... really? I don't see any signs of church or soul whatsoever in his performance. It's just meh in most places and sort of terrible in others. The judges agree. Michael talks back a little, making me think even less of his performance.
Side note: I can not wait for "Glee." I think this show looks FABULOUS and hilarious. It also looks like my high school experience. But at least I can laugh at it this time. :)
Lil has apparently had an emotional week. She's doing "Heat Wave," which I think is a great song choice for her. With that dress, I would've expected some "Proud Mary." Her hair does not look good either. But anyways, back to her singing. I think Lil is one of those people that sings so consistently well every week but never really adds anything to the songs, so it's hard to get really excited about her. Let's call it the Melinda complex. Symptons include: acting surprised when the judges compliment you, never singing a note out of tune, yet never cracking the finale. See also: Mercado, Syesha and Hudson, Jennifer. Scratch what I said about the song choice, because I think she could've found a better song.
At this point, I'm back to the Pens game again, and I'm glad I am, because Hal Gill just scored a SICK goal off a behind the back pass from Malkin. Dang, I love hockey in late March. I then see a 45 second sequence in which THE SAME PLAYER (talking to you, Matt Cooke) misses an empty net twice in a row.
So back to the conclusion of Idol. Adam is with Smokey, with his fake hair but decidedly less guyliner, and he's singing "The Tracks of My Tears." WHAT is his whole look tonight?! Joe thinks he looks like Jack White doing Elvis in "Walk Hard." I think he looks like he just stepped out of a production of "Hairspray." That said, he sounds fantastic, and I actually love that he's just sitting there singing. He must read MSHBB! But I can't get past the facade again, whatever this whole look is. Dude, just borrow a hoodie from Anoop, mess up your hair, and just sing. It was a great song & a great performance, but once again I feel like I'm watching a character.
Oh that's right, Danny! I was sitting here trying to remember who was left and couldn't think of him. Danny absolutely has the mom vote, as evidenced by talking to my mom & all her friends last week about how much they love him. We also talked about how he has glasses to match every shirt, and he doesn't fail tonight. He's singing "Get Ready" and doing his awful dance moves again. It's surprising he didn't find any Motown songs about hope or dreams. Oh geez, he's dancing with the backup singers. The performance is fine, it sounds good, but it's nothing to write home about. Another side note: let's remember the 15 minute intro now, when the judges are forced to give critiques in 15 seconds.
Allison is in the pimp spot, doing one of THE BEST Motown songs ever, "Papa Was a Rolling Stone." She messed up the lyrics in front of Smokey, and for the love of Castro, please don't F up the lyrics now. Whoa, the stylists tonight are OUT OF CONTROL. Allison is wearing blace lace leggings. She absolutely kills the song. Oh my Lord, Simon drew a mustache on Paula. These judges are gone, they do not care about this show anymore at all. Anyways, they all love Allison, and rightly so.
So that's Motown night. Matt & Anoop get mad props for both song and style; Allison & Adam get points for performance, but I'm paging David Cook's stylist right now. Bottom 3 should be Megan, Scott, & Michael, & I wouldn't be surprised by any of them going home. Thanks to President Obama screwing up my TV schedule for the week, I actually will not be blogging tomorrow, because I'll be en route to DC. Lindsay will take the results night extravaganza for you. Peace out!
Is it me, or is this the longest intro ever?? I swear, there is Motown week every year, so I don't know why they feel the need to remind us what it is. But Smokey Robinson is there, and he rules, so I don't care. This week the contestants have no excuse about song choice, because there are about 500 fantastic Motown songs to choose from.
Matt kicks it off with "Let's Get It Freakin On," which is an awesome song choice. Smokey does an awesome "Marvin would love that" during their rehearsal, which is awesome, and Matt is awesome, and I'm just going to use awesome to keep describing this performance, because that's what it is. Also, apparently Matt & Randy pulled from the same cardigan closet tonight. Kara pulls out the cougar claws. Yikes.
Kris is up next, singing "How Sweet It Is." OMG, what is his shirt?? It's got way too much going on there. You guys remember in "American Pie" when Chris Klein joined show choir to get the girl & he left his lacrosse match to go to the show choir competition cuz he realized he was in love with the girl & then he sang this song with Mena Suvari? Yeah, that's the vibe I'm getting from this. It's nice, it's cute, it's good, but I'm not like, wow, I need to pick up the phone.
WHOA. Guys, Scott's outfit. If you didn't watch, I feel bad for you, because words can not do this justice. He is wearing pink jeans, a pink paisley shirt, and a brown pinstripe blazer. NONE of it matches. And I don't mean in a Chuck Bass non-matching-but-really-matching-and-looking-awesome way, I mean in a really, NOTHING MATCHING sort of way. He's singing "You Can't Hurry Love," and he says something about a man singing a Diane Ross song, and I think that I'm like 90% sure Clay Aiken once sang this. I also get the show choir vibe from this one. ZZZZZzzzzzzzzz. Also, it's terrible.
Megan is singing "For Once in My Life" and apparently doesn't have the flu as an excuse this week. Wow. Is she auditioning for a cruise ship cabaret singer job? Is she barefoot? Lindsay is going to have a fit at that. Oh, no, she has pale ballet flats on that don't work with the dress at all. OMG, this is awful. America, please put us all out of our misery. Paula starts off with something about her stunning beauty, which means they all think it's awful too.
And now it's time for Anoop, who I'm expecting a lot from tonight. He's taking on "Oooooh Baby Baby." Um, dear Anoop, what is that jacket? The falsetto portions are a little rough, but the lower parts are just gorgeous, so I'll give him a B+ for that one.
At this point, I switch to the Pens game, because my two favorites have already gone, and I need to build up my disdain for Adam Lambert.
Anyways, Michael is singing "Ain't Too Proud to Beg" and actually says he's going to "take it to church." He also claims to have "soul roots." Um, Michael... really? I don't see any signs of church or soul whatsoever in his performance. It's just meh in most places and sort of terrible in others. The judges agree. Michael talks back a little, making me think even less of his performance.
Side note: I can not wait for "Glee." I think this show looks FABULOUS and hilarious. It also looks like my high school experience. But at least I can laugh at it this time. :)
Lil has apparently had an emotional week. She's doing "Heat Wave," which I think is a great song choice for her. With that dress, I would've expected some "Proud Mary." Her hair does not look good either. But anyways, back to her singing. I think Lil is one of those people that sings so consistently well every week but never really adds anything to the songs, so it's hard to get really excited about her. Let's call it the Melinda complex. Symptons include: acting surprised when the judges compliment you, never singing a note out of tune, yet never cracking the finale. See also: Mercado, Syesha and Hudson, Jennifer. Scratch what I said about the song choice, because I think she could've found a better song.
At this point, I'm back to the Pens game again, and I'm glad I am, because Hal Gill just scored a SICK goal off a behind the back pass from Malkin. Dang, I love hockey in late March. I then see a 45 second sequence in which THE SAME PLAYER (talking to you, Matt Cooke) misses an empty net twice in a row.
So back to the conclusion of Idol. Adam is with Smokey, with his fake hair but decidedly less guyliner, and he's singing "The Tracks of My Tears." WHAT is his whole look tonight?! Joe thinks he looks like Jack White doing Elvis in "Walk Hard." I think he looks like he just stepped out of a production of "Hairspray." That said, he sounds fantastic, and I actually love that he's just sitting there singing. He must read MSHBB! But I can't get past the facade again, whatever this whole look is. Dude, just borrow a hoodie from Anoop, mess up your hair, and just sing. It was a great song & a great performance, but once again I feel like I'm watching a character.
Oh that's right, Danny! I was sitting here trying to remember who was left and couldn't think of him. Danny absolutely has the mom vote, as evidenced by talking to my mom & all her friends last week about how much they love him. We also talked about how he has glasses to match every shirt, and he doesn't fail tonight. He's singing "Get Ready" and doing his awful dance moves again. It's surprising he didn't find any Motown songs about hope or dreams. Oh geez, he's dancing with the backup singers. The performance is fine, it sounds good, but it's nothing to write home about. Another side note: let's remember the 15 minute intro now, when the judges are forced to give critiques in 15 seconds.
Allison is in the pimp spot, doing one of THE BEST Motown songs ever, "Papa Was a Rolling Stone." She messed up the lyrics in front of Smokey, and for the love of Castro, please don't F up the lyrics now. Whoa, the stylists tonight are OUT OF CONTROL. Allison is wearing blace lace leggings. She absolutely kills the song. Oh my Lord, Simon drew a mustache on Paula. These judges are gone, they do not care about this show anymore at all. Anyways, they all love Allison, and rightly so.
So that's Motown night. Matt & Anoop get mad props for both song and style; Allison & Adam get points for performance, but I'm paging David Cook's stylist right now. Bottom 3 should be Megan, Scott, & Michael, & I wouldn't be surprised by any of them going home. Thanks to President Obama screwing up my TV schedule for the week, I actually will not be blogging tomorrow, because I'll be en route to DC. Lindsay will take the results night extravaganza for you. Peace out!
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Sometimes, that mountain you've been climbing is just a grain of sand.
So, before we get to the actual show, I need to bitch about something. This season, there has been an overabundance of something Brenna and I absolutely loathe: contestants backtalking to the judges. I'm not sure if we loathe it for the same exact reasons, but here's what I have to say.
These people aren't professionals yet. Some of them may never be professionals. They are all here for a reason--they couldn't hack it on their own, or they wanted to be on TV, or whatever. The judges aren't just there for people to boo or woo at. When you are receiving constructive criticism (I use the term "constructive" loosely, since 80% of the time, Randy and Paula's critiques are stupid), just absorb it, learn from it, and pray that you make it another week to apply it. See also: Anoop Desai. I don't know about the rest of you, but if the song sucked, or they thought it didn't do you justice, it really doesn't matter to me one little rat's ass about why you chose it, LIL. Or SCOTT.
The point I'm trying to make is: shut up, contestants. Also, all the backtalk makes the show run over, and that sucks.
Anyway, on to tonight's ep. Ryan claims the results in his envelope could be "shocking." All I have to say is, if Allison gets eliminated, I will probably throw something. Long ass recap detailing last night--apparently, Megan Corkrey is now just "Megan Joy." Oooookay. God, I love Matt Giraud. I'm totally buying that song off iTunes.
And, group number to "Trouble" which I don't know, sorry country music fans. What the hell is Lil wearing? Why can't someone figure out how to dress these people?
After the commercial, FORD! commercial involving water balloons. Risque! And now we have to see footage of...Jorge and Jasmine's farewell party? Seriously? And now Ryan's asking everyone a bajillion questions, kind of randomly. What's going on? Did Carrie or Brad Paisley bail out and we have to have more filler than normal?
Aaaaaaand, Michael just broke everyone's heart by telling us his little girl asked him "why don't you want to be with me anymore?" Well, hell. How do you even answer that, when it's a three year old? Hopefully, he gets eliminated, because then I win the ew.com poll for this week and he gets to see his kid. Everyone wins!
After a million excruciating minutes of this, we're finally getting to results. Danny--safe. Obvs. Lil--safe. Anooooooooooop--SAFE! WOO! So we've got Allison and Michael, and Ryan asks Paula who she thinks is in the bottom three. Shit. And it's Allison. BOOOOOOO. If she goes home tonight I will be so sad, because I don't think they will use the save. She's not Gokey. Ooh and Michael's also in the bottom three!! Please let Michael go home.
Commercials. And it's Brad Paisley. Snooze. I'll use this time to tell you guys about the episode of Top Model I just watched. Creepy Von Huge-eyes Allison was in the bottom two with some girl whose name I can't even remember. Also, Teyona got her Jheri-curl weave (Tyra's words, not mine, I swear) relaxed and straightened. And Tahlia the burn victim finally came out of her shell. Oh and Sandra finally quit being a stank bitch, and got best photo of the week.
Time for more results. Scott--safe. Shocker! Megan--safe. I think this maaaay be her last week, though. Matt--SAFE! Kris--safe. Down to Alexis and Adam. I'll admit, I thought maybe Adam was in the bottom three, just because the show has done this before. Paired someone who people think would be obviously safe with someone who didn't get the best critiques the night before, only to SHOCK everyone and say that the crappy critique person is safe. The show fooled me though--Adam is safe, and Alexis is in the bottom three.
Ryan immediately tells them he's sending someone back to safety and it's...ALLISON! WOOP! My three faves are still in this! I don't really care which one of these two goes, to be honest, but I'd rather it be Michael.
Break's over, time for Carrie and Randy. OK, WHAT the hell, Carrie? That hair is terrible, and something appears to be growing out of the top of your head. Also, bad dress. They just showed all that footage of her looking all hot, and then this comes out. I think it's her alter ego, Sasha Frump. She and Randy sing a nice, sleepy ballad called "I Told You So", and it's very pleasant. I like bad-ass Carrie better, though.
Finally, time for the result. Michael is safe. DAMMIT. I totally lost the poll this week. I would have never picked Alexis. So, will the judges use the SAVE? They claim they were debating on saving her, so she's gotta sing for her life, basically. Oh man, this is sounding rough. I think this is kind of shitty, actually, to make her sing the SECOND after she finds out. I call no save...and I'm right. She's out. Aww, I liked her for the most part, she just was a little off last night. Bye, Alexis! Should have been Michael.
Also, so much for that spoiler that said the producers already picked the final four, with Alexis as one of them. Seriously, people, enough with the producer intervention shit. If they really, truly intervened on this show, would Taylor Hicks have ever happened? I rest my case.
Anyway, next week is Motown, and Bren's doing double blog duty to pay me back for that time when I blogged four eps in a row...lol. Sugar pie, honey bunch!
These people aren't professionals yet. Some of them may never be professionals. They are all here for a reason--they couldn't hack it on their own, or they wanted to be on TV, or whatever. The judges aren't just there for people to boo or woo at. When you are receiving constructive criticism (I use the term "constructive" loosely, since 80% of the time, Randy and Paula's critiques are stupid), just absorb it, learn from it, and pray that you make it another week to apply it. See also: Anoop Desai. I don't know about the rest of you, but if the song sucked, or they thought it didn't do you justice, it really doesn't matter to me one little rat's ass about why you chose it, LIL. Or SCOTT.
The point I'm trying to make is: shut up, contestants. Also, all the backtalk makes the show run over, and that sucks.
Anyway, on to tonight's ep. Ryan claims the results in his envelope could be "shocking." All I have to say is, if Allison gets eliminated, I will probably throw something. Long ass recap detailing last night--apparently, Megan Corkrey is now just "Megan Joy." Oooookay. God, I love Matt Giraud. I'm totally buying that song off iTunes.
And, group number to "Trouble" which I don't know, sorry country music fans. What the hell is Lil wearing? Why can't someone figure out how to dress these people?
After the commercial, FORD! commercial involving water balloons. Risque! And now we have to see footage of...Jorge and Jasmine's farewell party? Seriously? And now Ryan's asking everyone a bajillion questions, kind of randomly. What's going on? Did Carrie or Brad Paisley bail out and we have to have more filler than normal?
Aaaaaaand, Michael just broke everyone's heart by telling us his little girl asked him "why don't you want to be with me anymore?" Well, hell. How do you even answer that, when it's a three year old? Hopefully, he gets eliminated, because then I win the ew.com poll for this week and he gets to see his kid. Everyone wins!
After a million excruciating minutes of this, we're finally getting to results. Danny--safe. Obvs. Lil--safe. Anooooooooooop--SAFE! WOO! So we've got Allison and Michael, and Ryan asks Paula who she thinks is in the bottom three. Shit. And it's Allison. BOOOOOOO. If she goes home tonight I will be so sad, because I don't think they will use the save. She's not Gokey. Ooh and Michael's also in the bottom three!! Please let Michael go home.
Commercials. And it's Brad Paisley. Snooze. I'll use this time to tell you guys about the episode of Top Model I just watched. Creepy Von Huge-eyes Allison was in the bottom two with some girl whose name I can't even remember. Also, Teyona got her Jheri-curl weave (Tyra's words, not mine, I swear) relaxed and straightened. And Tahlia the burn victim finally came out of her shell. Oh and Sandra finally quit being a stank bitch, and got best photo of the week.
Time for more results. Scott--safe. Shocker! Megan--safe. I think this maaaay be her last week, though. Matt--SAFE! Kris--safe. Down to Alexis and Adam. I'll admit, I thought maybe Adam was in the bottom three, just because the show has done this before. Paired someone who people think would be obviously safe with someone who didn't get the best critiques the night before, only to SHOCK everyone and say that the crappy critique person is safe. The show fooled me though--Adam is safe, and Alexis is in the bottom three.
Ryan immediately tells them he's sending someone back to safety and it's...ALLISON! WOOP! My three faves are still in this! I don't really care which one of these two goes, to be honest, but I'd rather it be Michael.
Break's over, time for Carrie and Randy. OK, WHAT the hell, Carrie? That hair is terrible, and something appears to be growing out of the top of your head. Also, bad dress. They just showed all that footage of her looking all hot, and then this comes out. I think it's her alter ego, Sasha Frump. She and Randy sing a nice, sleepy ballad called "I Told You So", and it's very pleasant. I like bad-ass Carrie better, though.
Finally, time for the result. Michael is safe. DAMMIT. I totally lost the poll this week. I would have never picked Alexis. So, will the judges use the SAVE? They claim they were debating on saving her, so she's gotta sing for her life, basically. Oh man, this is sounding rough. I think this is kind of shitty, actually, to make her sing the SECOND after she finds out. I call no save...and I'm right. She's out. Aww, I liked her for the most part, she just was a little off last night. Bye, Alexis! Should have been Michael.
Also, so much for that spoiler that said the producers already picked the final four, with Alexis as one of them. Seriously, people, enough with the producer intervention shit. If they really, truly intervened on this show, would Taylor Hicks have ever happened? I rest my case.
Anyway, next week is Motown, and Bren's doing double blog duty to pay me back for that time when I blogged four eps in a row...lol. Sugar pie, honey bunch!
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Tender moments with your dawgs, brought to you by MSHBB.
Welcome to country week, ladies & gentlemen! Lindsay & I were talking earlier today about how awesome Dolly Parton Week was last year, like 10% because of how crazy and/or awesome Dolly is, but 90% because it was the week David Cook decided to finally cut his hair and become hot overnight.
That said, this season has been pissing me off bad, and so I decided to look at my blog from the first week last year to remind myself that I don't always love everyone right off the bat. Actually written by yours truly:
So, yeah, I don't always get it right. I still have hope for this year.
Back to tonight. Kara thinks it's Dreamgirls tribute night, based on what she's wearing. I particularly love Simon during country week, because he usually expresses the disdain I feel for the genre. Randy Travis is our mentor this week, and he's in the audience with his wife (maybe?) who is rocking a Lady Gaga wig.
"Ain't Going Down Till the Sun Comes Up," longest song title EVER, is up first, by Michael. He looks like he's trying too hard to remember the 8,000 words in the first verse. He sounds good on the chorus, but the verses are so rushed that I don't get to hear him sing really... and then he totally runs out of the gas by the end. Joe informs me that there are a lot of notes that Garth Brooks holds for like 5 minutes in the original version, and Michael avoids all of that... so, eh. I think he messed up on song choice. And then he talks back. Not lookin' good, cowboy.
Allison next sings "Blame It On Your Heart." I thought it was really good, as usual for Allison, if not particularly memorable. It was nice to see her lighten up a little! The judges mostly agree. Simon calls her a little precoscious, which I disagree with. We've seen plenty of precoscious teenage girls on this show, and Allison is far from them.
Kris is next with "To Make You Feel My Love," another Garth Brooks song. (Thank God Joe is here with me, to fill me in on these songs, cuz I'm clueless about this country crap.) Randy & Kris tell us he will "make this his own." I actually rather enjoy it. The song suits his voice really well, and I'm sure the 13-16 demographic (and Lindsay) will love it. :)
Let me take this moment to express just how creeped out I am by these Old Navy ads with the mannequins. Seriously, they are SCARY. Please take them off the air, now.
Lil's outfit is better this week, but she's still rocking the 80s prom vibe. She's singing "Independence Day" by Martina McBride... has someone sung this on the show at some point? Jordin maybe? She struggles on the low notes but hits her stride on the chorus. Randy basically says as much, and Lil talks about wanting to try something different, to which I say, IT'S COUNTRY WEEK. You HAVE to do something different. Simon is so completely unamused by tonight. He then calls her Little. This is so much fun to watch.
Annnnnnd now it's time for Adam Lambert. Let me first express my thoughts on Adam in general. I don't believe an iota of him. I don't believe the Hot Topic wardrobe, I don't believe the guyliner commandeered from Cookster and then applied like 6 times more, I don't believe his Twilight-inspired hair and brooding, and I don't believe a note of his spastic performances. He is fake. He is a character. And yes, I am fully aware that everyone on this effing show is a character, but at least the vast majority of them are believable. The people I've cheered for on this show - the Kellys, the Elliotts, the Chrises, the Blakes, and the Cooksters - are people whose stories I genuinely believed and who I could relate to. Adam is a big ball of Viva Las Gaygas fakeness. I know the dude can sing, and he's a hell of a performer, but I would like him 1,000,000% more if he would just drop the act and sing.
Anyways. He's taking on "Ring of Fire." Randy Travis is HILARIOUS when dealing with Adam's ridiculousness. Yeaaah, that's country music for you. :) Anyways, it's some kind of weird sitar-strumming Middle Eastern version of the song that sounds like he's auditioning for the soundtrack of the next Twilight movie. Kara's all like "Wow, Adam does country music." Kara, that was not country music. That was the bastardization of a country song that I actually like. I'm happy the judges mostly agree, and Simon finally calls it self-indulgent, so THANK YOU SIMON for once again being the voice of reason on this show.
P.S., if you're going to mess with a Johnny Cash song, at least do it well.
Scott is singing "Wild Angels," also by Martina McBride. Apparently there are only 3 artists in the Grand Ole Opry. Joe informs me that he slowed the song way down. We both agree that it sounds Disney-fied, which is pretty much Scott's whole gig. It's not that good. The judges basically agree with me.
At this point, my TV station advertises something called "Western Mass. Karaoke Idol," which I think might be better than this show tonight.
Alexis is next, with "Jolene," one of approximately 10 country songs I know and don't hate. Didn't Brooke do this last year? We know it's at least got to be better than that. I think she did well, though the judges don't all agree. Kara tosses out a few Carrie songs for Alexis, which we all know would've been a disaster because then they all would've compared her to Carrie. The judges say something about missing the dirty, which is BS, because they just told Scott to branch out from what he usually does. Make up your minds, judges.
We're told before the commercial break that Danny is taking on some Carrie Underwood. I predict it's "Jesus Take the Wheel" (or, as I call it, "Jesus Drive My Car") and I am... CORRECT. He messes up like 1,000 times in front of Randy Travis, and it's almost as bad as when Castro didn't know Cats was about cats. Of course Gokey is singing this, cuz it's all inspirational and shit. To be absolutely honest, I'm too busy laughing through the whole thing to even tell you if it was any good. I think it was fine, but it's sort of what we've come to expect from Danny. Also, his facial hair is starting to annoy me.
SNOOP ANOOP is up next, and he's singing "You're Always On My Mind." Randy is falling all over himself after the practice, so I have my hopes up. I am not disappointed, because it is awesome to quite awesome. It's the best we've heard him since his audition. I'm really glad we have a contestant who doesn't feel the need to scream an entire song. GO ANOOP. Definitely my favorite of the night.
We're up to Megan, who I honestly forgot about till they announced her. Sidenote: I swear, she looks like a different person every night. Do you know what I mean? Like, if you showed me tonight's Megan next to semifinals Megan I don't think I'd believe they were the same people. She's singing "I Go Walking After Midnight." Well, I thought there would be no possible way she could dance to this one, but I was wrong. She's still doing the awkward butt shaking. It starts off well, but she hits some weird notes near the end. Of course, the judges all ignore that, because for some reason they're all up her ass, and they're also like "oh man, you have the flu, and you're still singing!" like anyone on this show has a choice whether to perform whether they're sick or not.
Matt gets the pimp spot this week. Yay! He's singing "So Small" by Carrie Underwood. Randy, as with most of the contestants tonight, is unsure at first and then comes along as he hears the rehearsal. Matt, in my opinion, kills it. I actually wish he'd kept the band out of it and just sung it by himself at the piano, but even so, it's terrific. Also, thank God for a male contestant who knows how to dress. :)
Top 3 tonight, I would give to Snoop, Matt, & either Kris or Allison... I'm really on the fence between the two. As for the bottom 3 in terms of perforamces, I'm going with Michael, Scott, and Adam, even though I don't think in a million years that Adam will actually end up in the bottom. Lindsay will take you through tomorrow's country fest. See you next week!
That said, this season has been pissing me off bad, and so I decided to look at my blog from the first week last year to remind myself that I don't always love everyone right off the bat. Actually written by yours truly:
The band is about eight miles from the singers… perhaps they were as creeped out by David Cook as we were?
I want Brooke to stay in this competition as long as possible, because I really think we’re seeing an artist blossom in front of us.
So, yeah, I don't always get it right. I still have hope for this year.
Back to tonight. Kara thinks it's Dreamgirls tribute night, based on what she's wearing. I particularly love Simon during country week, because he usually expresses the disdain I feel for the genre. Randy Travis is our mentor this week, and he's in the audience with his wife (maybe?) who is rocking a Lady Gaga wig.
"Ain't Going Down Till the Sun Comes Up," longest song title EVER, is up first, by Michael. He looks like he's trying too hard to remember the 8,000 words in the first verse. He sounds good on the chorus, but the verses are so rushed that I don't get to hear him sing really... and then he totally runs out of the gas by the end. Joe informs me that there are a lot of notes that Garth Brooks holds for like 5 minutes in the original version, and Michael avoids all of that... so, eh. I think he messed up on song choice. And then he talks back. Not lookin' good, cowboy.
Allison next sings "Blame It On Your Heart." I thought it was really good, as usual for Allison, if not particularly memorable. It was nice to see her lighten up a little! The judges mostly agree. Simon calls her a little precoscious, which I disagree with. We've seen plenty of precoscious teenage girls on this show, and Allison is far from them.
Kris is next with "To Make You Feel My Love," another Garth Brooks song. (Thank God Joe is here with me, to fill me in on these songs, cuz I'm clueless about this country crap.) Randy & Kris tell us he will "make this his own." I actually rather enjoy it. The song suits his voice really well, and I'm sure the 13-16 demographic (and Lindsay) will love it. :)
Let me take this moment to express just how creeped out I am by these Old Navy ads with the mannequins. Seriously, they are SCARY. Please take them off the air, now.
Lil's outfit is better this week, but she's still rocking the 80s prom vibe. She's singing "Independence Day" by Martina McBride... has someone sung this on the show at some point? Jordin maybe? She struggles on the low notes but hits her stride on the chorus. Randy basically says as much, and Lil talks about wanting to try something different, to which I say, IT'S COUNTRY WEEK. You HAVE to do something different. Simon is so completely unamused by tonight. He then calls her Little. This is so much fun to watch.
Annnnnnd now it's time for Adam Lambert. Let me first express my thoughts on Adam in general. I don't believe an iota of him. I don't believe the Hot Topic wardrobe, I don't believe the guyliner commandeered from Cookster and then applied like 6 times more, I don't believe his Twilight-inspired hair and brooding, and I don't believe a note of his spastic performances. He is fake. He is a character. And yes, I am fully aware that everyone on this effing show is a character, but at least the vast majority of them are believable. The people I've cheered for on this show - the Kellys, the Elliotts, the Chrises, the Blakes, and the Cooksters - are people whose stories I genuinely believed and who I could relate to. Adam is a big ball of Viva Las Gaygas fakeness. I know the dude can sing, and he's a hell of a performer, but I would like him 1,000,000% more if he would just drop the act and sing.
Anyways. He's taking on "Ring of Fire." Randy Travis is HILARIOUS when dealing with Adam's ridiculousness. Yeaaah, that's country music for you. :) Anyways, it's some kind of weird sitar-strumming Middle Eastern version of the song that sounds like he's auditioning for the soundtrack of the next Twilight movie. Kara's all like "Wow, Adam does country music." Kara, that was not country music. That was the bastardization of a country song that I actually like. I'm happy the judges mostly agree, and Simon finally calls it self-indulgent, so THANK YOU SIMON for once again being the voice of reason on this show.
P.S., if you're going to mess with a Johnny Cash song, at least do it well.
Scott is singing "Wild Angels," also by Martina McBride. Apparently there are only 3 artists in the Grand Ole Opry. Joe informs me that he slowed the song way down. We both agree that it sounds Disney-fied, which is pretty much Scott's whole gig. It's not that good. The judges basically agree with me.
At this point, my TV station advertises something called "Western Mass. Karaoke Idol," which I think might be better than this show tonight.
Alexis is next, with "Jolene," one of approximately 10 country songs I know and don't hate. Didn't Brooke do this last year? We know it's at least got to be better than that. I think she did well, though the judges don't all agree. Kara tosses out a few Carrie songs for Alexis, which we all know would've been a disaster because then they all would've compared her to Carrie. The judges say something about missing the dirty, which is BS, because they just told Scott to branch out from what he usually does. Make up your minds, judges.
We're told before the commercial break that Danny is taking on some Carrie Underwood. I predict it's "Jesus Take the Wheel" (or, as I call it, "Jesus Drive My Car") and I am... CORRECT. He messes up like 1,000 times in front of Randy Travis, and it's almost as bad as when Castro didn't know Cats was about cats. Of course Gokey is singing this, cuz it's all inspirational and shit. To be absolutely honest, I'm too busy laughing through the whole thing to even tell you if it was any good. I think it was fine, but it's sort of what we've come to expect from Danny. Also, his facial hair is starting to annoy me.
SNOOP ANOOP is up next, and he's singing "You're Always On My Mind." Randy is falling all over himself after the practice, so I have my hopes up. I am not disappointed, because it is awesome to quite awesome. It's the best we've heard him since his audition. I'm really glad we have a contestant who doesn't feel the need to scream an entire song. GO ANOOP. Definitely my favorite of the night.
We're up to Megan, who I honestly forgot about till they announced her. Sidenote: I swear, she looks like a different person every night. Do you know what I mean? Like, if you showed me tonight's Megan next to semifinals Megan I don't think I'd believe they were the same people. She's singing "I Go Walking After Midnight." Well, I thought there would be no possible way she could dance to this one, but I was wrong. She's still doing the awkward butt shaking. It starts off well, but she hits some weird notes near the end. Of course, the judges all ignore that, because for some reason they're all up her ass, and they're also like "oh man, you have the flu, and you're still singing!" like anyone on this show has a choice whether to perform whether they're sick or not.
Matt gets the pimp spot this week. Yay! He's singing "So Small" by Carrie Underwood. Randy, as with most of the contestants tonight, is unsure at first and then comes along as he hears the rehearsal. Matt, in my opinion, kills it. I actually wish he'd kept the band out of it and just sung it by himself at the piano, but even so, it's terrific. Also, thank God for a male contestant who knows how to dress. :)
Top 3 tonight, I would give to Snoop, Matt, & either Kris or Allison... I'm really on the fence between the two. As for the bottom 3 in terms of perforamces, I'm going with Michael, Scott, and Adam, even though I don't think in a million years that Adam will actually end up in the bottom. Lindsay will take you through tomorrow's country fest. See you next week!
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Blahness abounds
Watching Idol while verging on a migraine sucks. Bren's got final study groups tonight and since school > reality tv, I'm blogging again. This will be the shortest blog posting I'll probably ever write. Sorry guys. :(
So the "twist": they now have concocted "the judges save." This means if someones in the bottom (aka Daughtry, Michael Johns (or Aughtry lol), JHud, etc.), and the judges think they deserve another shot, they can save them. If someone is saved, that week no one goes home, but the following week two people go home. And they can only use the save once. This goes on until we're at the top 5. This could make things very interesting.
After a weak group number and a recap of last night, Michael Sarver's safe, Allison's safe (word!), Jasmine's in the bottom, Matt G. is safe (yay!), Kris is safe (drool), and Megan's in the bottom. Or wait, I guess she's not? Because Ryan tells them one of the two is safe, and if they are eliminating two people tonight, apparently Megan's not one of them. WTF show? STOP MAKING ME THINK.
OK Jasmine's out, unless she gets "saved." She sings again, the judges confer, and she's out. Bye Jazz. You're cute, but this is the right call. And Bren and I win on week one of ew.com's "Pick the Eliminated Contestant" game. So yeah, we rule.
Kanye's up. How could you be so Doctor Evil? Guys, Kanye can't sing. This song only sounds good on the radio because it's been edited to death. Cripes.
Time for more results. Blind Scott--come on. Alexis--safe. Yeah girl! Danny--no suspense here. Anoop--not safe yet. Eff. Adam--safe. Who will join Anoop, Jorge or Lil? And it's Jorge. Please don't let Anoop get the boot. I hope Puerto Rico had a massive power outage and no one could call in last night. Of course, we have to wait until after the break, and probably until after Kelly Clarkson performs. Which will undoubtedly be the best part of this show tonight.
She rules so bad. And sounds awesome. Go Kelly! This song is great. Good one to work out too, also. Back to the guys again. And....Anoop is safe!!!!! YAYYYYY ANOOOOOOOOP!!!! Aww, I kind of still like Jorge even though he sucks sometimes. They clearly won't save him though. And...yeah, he's out. Bye J. I didn't hate you, but...you weren't going to win anyway.
So that's week one, two down. Word. This is more manageable already. See you guys next week!
So the "twist": they now have concocted "the judges save." This means if someones in the bottom (aka Daughtry, Michael Johns (or Aughtry lol), JHud, etc.), and the judges think they deserve another shot, they can save them. If someone is saved, that week no one goes home, but the following week two people go home. And they can only use the save once. This goes on until we're at the top 5. This could make things very interesting.
After a weak group number and a recap of last night, Michael Sarver's safe, Allison's safe (word!), Jasmine's in the bottom, Matt G. is safe (yay!), Kris is safe (drool), and Megan's in the bottom. Or wait, I guess she's not? Because Ryan tells them one of the two is safe, and if they are eliminating two people tonight, apparently Megan's not one of them. WTF show? STOP MAKING ME THINK.
OK Jasmine's out, unless she gets "saved." She sings again, the judges confer, and she's out. Bye Jazz. You're cute, but this is the right call. And Bren and I win on week one of ew.com's "Pick the Eliminated Contestant" game. So yeah, we rule.
Kanye's up. How could you be so Doctor Evil? Guys, Kanye can't sing. This song only sounds good on the radio because it's been edited to death. Cripes.
Time for more results. Blind Scott--come on. Alexis--safe. Yeah girl! Danny--no suspense here. Anoop--not safe yet. Eff. Adam--safe. Who will join Anoop, Jorge or Lil? And it's Jorge. Please don't let Anoop get the boot. I hope Puerto Rico had a massive power outage and no one could call in last night. Of course, we have to wait until after the break, and probably until after Kelly Clarkson performs. Which will undoubtedly be the best part of this show tonight.
She rules so bad. And sounds awesome. Go Kelly! This song is great. Good one to work out too, also. Back to the guys again. And....Anoop is safe!!!!! YAYYYYY ANOOOOOOOOP!!!! Aww, I kind of still like Jorge even though he sucks sometimes. They clearly won't save him though. And...yeah, he's out. Bye J. I didn't hate you, but...you weren't going to win anyway.
So that's week one, two down. Word. This is more manageable already. See you guys next week!
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Longest blog entry ever and probably has 9 million typos, but I'm spent.
So tonight has the potential to be one of the best Idol eps we've ever seen, or it could end up plunging all of us into an abyss of despair so deep, we may never get out. It's Michael Jackson night, kiddos. The King of Pop. Wacko Jacko. I totally remember when I was little and we'd go to my Gram's, I'd be all up in her Star and National Enquirers, and he was always on the cover of one of those. Captioned "Wacko Jacko."
I also recall owning the "Bad" record. As in, record album. NOT a CD. And my favorite song was "Smooth Criminal" because I thought the "Annie are you OK? Are you OK Annie?" was the just the coolest part of a song ever. Also on this album? "Man in the Mirror", which we hope Kris does not choose to reprise tonight. Learn a new song, people! Also: sing "Billie Jean" and we automatically hate you for the rest of the season. Just sayin'.
Anyway, on with the show! Top 13! Wooop woooooop! Two minutes in and I'm already saying WTF because there is some sort of grandiose new entrance procedure for the judges and Ryan. The hell? This is so weird. Why are they being announced like they're the Pope about to preside over Easter Mass? Once everyone's all situated, Ryan introduces the contestants. Alexis appeared to have secured the pimp spot for herself, if the order they are introduced is the order they are performing. She better blow it "out the box."
After the obligatory MJ montage, Lil is up first. They truly couldn't have picked anyone better to go out first on this night, because I don't think she ever gets nervous. We see her family montage with her sad tornado wreckage and her cute ass kids. She's singing "The Way You Make Me Feel", which I think Bren and I may have said would be good for her. She's awesome. When she sang the Mary J. song, it did sound kind of copycat, but I think this is really rad. Since I can't really critique her vocal, I'll rip on her clothes. Good God, Lil. News flash: girls with junk in the trunk cannot rock the white pants.
Kara is seriously the best judge ever. Now it's time for Scott MacIntyre. You guys MAY have heard this but in case you haven't...he's blind. His family package is nice, and he was a really cute little kid, despite what his current Jon Heder-esque hair would have you believe. He's singing "Keep The Faith", which was also a Billy Joel and Bon Jovi song, lol.
OK, did you guys listen to the lyrics?? Had they had MJ night last year, Archuleta would have TOTALLY sung this. I think Scott falls in the Josh Groban category. Nice voice, good with the piano, but just not marketable as a current Top 40 recording artist. I didn't hate this performance, save for the disastrous falsetto note in the middle, but I didn't love it. I mean come on though, he's visually impaired...he's back next week.
Up next is Danny Gokey who is totally thinking "Eff you Scott, you ganked my song choice this week!" His video package doesn't mention his wife at all, it's just him and his family talking about music, which is really cute and endearing. He's going to be singing "PYT (Pretty Young Thing)" and OMG OMG OMG please let him sing the Tenderoni lyric....YESSS HAHAHA. When Megan and I were young and dumb, we'd laugh our asses off about this song and that lyric. Tenderoni...lmao. Anyway, Danny kills it and reminds me why I liked him all those weeks ago, before he was all singing about hope and shit and the producers were shoving his widowism down our throats. Welcome back, Mr. Gokey.
After Danny comes Oil Rigger Michael. We take a trip to Texas to meet his coworkers and some of his family. Charming. Oh God, he's singing "You Are Not Alone." Worst MJ song ever. I hated this song when it was popular. He's sort of countrifying it, but also bringing some soul to it...it's okay. Kind of weird in parts, something seems off. Maybe he's just nervous. The judges all really really seem to like it, which is surprising. I thought it was kind of meh. I like Michael though.
We've got Jasmine up now and her family is so fun and cute. I would probably like to hang out with the Murray family I think. She's singing "I'll Be There", which oy: ten bucks Randy trots out Mariah's name. This is much better than her semifinal round songs, with the exception of a few clunkers in the middle there. This was a little stiff and old-fashioned. Hey, her mom got a rockin' new wig! She gets lukewarm critiques all around, with Randy namedropping MC (told ya!) and Simon telling her she was "robotic" and she should act her age. How to tell when the audience agrees with Simon when he gives a bad critique: lack of booing.
Bren and I predicted Jasmine as a potential candidate to go home. She didn't have enough of a fan base to keep her in the semis, since she's here as a wild card, and the little girl/old lady vote is probably tied up to Kris Allen or like, Alexis. We'll see tomorrow if we know this show as well as we think.
And judging by the shrieks that accompany Kris Allen's video package, I'm thinking my previous statement is accurate. Damn, he's a cutie. Aww, and a newlywed! Jesus, are they just the most disgustingly perfect couple ever or what? Kris is doing "Remember The Time" with his acoustic guitar. WOW, is he pretty. So, so pretty....wait, what? Ahem. I'm a sucker for a cute boy with a guitar, sorry. This is kind of like something John Mayer would do. The vocals are okay, he gets a bit shouty and manic towards the end, but he'll stick around. Paula displays cougarish tendencies towards him at judging--watch out Kris!!
Next is Allison. Her interview package talks about how she used to sing at this ginormous Latin shopping center. WHAT? That is AWESOME. I effing love this chick you guys. She's singing "Give In To Me", which I don't know unfortunately, but I don't care. Allison rules. This song totally suits her and she is rocking out like nobody's business. Was it the best vocally, technically? No, but for her to have stage presence and sound like that at 16, damn , yo. She is my favorite girl in this competition. Her pink Farrah Fawcett hair has got to go, though. She is so effing WEIRD. I realize I'm babbling, but I can't remember having been this enamored with a female contestant on this show in like, forever.
OK, now we've got ANOOOOOP. Who still, despite having a stylist this week, is dressing like Nick Burns: Your Company's Computer Guy! Anoop's parents are really cute and nice, but his video package is a little bit bland. He's going to be singing "Beat It." This is either going to be awesome, or it's going to tank. So far, it's pretty awesome. I love Anoop so bad. Even though he has this weird Matrix background going on behind him. And...oh shit, this is getting bad. I think he's running out of steam because he keeps running around on the stage. Ugh, this got ugly quick. Dammit Anoop. The judges all hated it, even Paula, who doesn't hate anything. I hope people hated Jasmine more.
How many more do we have left? This show is taking forever tonight. I thought I'd be more into MJ songs but apparently not. Now we have Jorge, who I apparently have developed a soft spot for. His enormous family is all cheering from Puerto Rico. He's singing "Never Can Say Goodbye", so I guess Jackson 5 songs are allowed. This is boring, safe, cabaret, all those adjectives the judges like to throw around. Jorge's got a very nice voice and he seems like a terrific dude, but this blew. Sorry, J.
Megan Corkrey is up. I went to change my clothes during her interview package and didn't feel like rewinding, but I caught the end of it and it was about her cute kid. She's doing "Rockin' Robin" which is the PERFECT song choice for her. She's in a vampy red dress, doing her thing. I wish I had her teeth. This is the first time I liked her a little bit, before she was just meh to me. This was respectable enough for me. The judges all give her pretty crappy feedback, but I am too distracted by Paula's GIANT golden sequined dog tag bracelet to write down what they said.
Next is Adam. He gives a surprisingly geniune interview package about developing thick skin and how if he had tried out for Idol five years ago, he'd have been a hot mess. My words, not his. His parents seem nice and normal. He's doing "Black or White." Oh man, here we go. Guys, I'll admit it. I kind of love Adam Lambert. This is RIDIC over the top, but have you ever SEEN footage of a Michael Jackson concert? Over the top doesn't describe it.
The middle part is all crazy and shouty, which is how MJ does it in the song. Paula loses her shit and can't even articulate anything, and Adam's crying all over and oh sweet baby Jesus get on with it. We're going to run over again! The judges all give him crazy high praise, including Simon, who I think secretly hates Adam and secretly wishes he could make money off him.
Unfortunately for Matt Giraud, he has to follow this. And knowing Matt, he's not going to do some sort of knock your socks off, blow the roof off performance. But he does do what he does best, which is I why loved him from the start. Aww, his dad cried in his video!He's singing "Human Nature" at the piano, and it's perfect Matt--bluesy, shows off his range, and I just love listening to him. I would buy Matt Giraud's album. He and Danny have returned to original form tonight, in my opinion. The judges speed through their comments, which means we're totally going to run out of time and people's DVRs will get cut off.
Alexis is up last in the pimp spot. Ryan keeps emphasizing her special number tonight. I would like to give a shout out to Leanne, a dedicated reader, who pointed out that on a radio show today, they announced that 1-866-IDOLS-13 is a porn line. FAB. I wonder if this will affect her votes at all. People who watch this show are dumb sometimes. Anyway, in her video package, she teaches her daughter to say "Seacreast OUT," which completely rules. I love Alexis. Not as much as Allison though.
NO WAY. She is singing "Dirty Diana" which is only like the BEST MJ song ever. YESSS. OMG, is she wearing a sequined formal ROMPER? WITH TIGHTS? And horrific shoes?? I don't know what to look at first! Damn, she is working this song. She earned the pimp spot tonight. She gets a little bit shouty and it seems like she trips over the words sometimes, but I still like it. I would love an Allison and Alexis duet, to this song. Word.
Anyway, we're running over time, and Ryan announces that there is a change to the show regarding the results and Simon says it "involves us." Well for those of you who don't watch So You Think You Can Dance, I can tell you exactly what the change is going to be. On SYTYCD, the bottom three (based on the votes) every week have to "dance for their lives" and then the judges send someone home.
Yeah, this is totally going to happen on Idol. I kind of love it. I always thought the judges should be involved in this process in the finals. They are involved every other step of the way, why not now? At least the results show might have less filler if we've got to fit people singing for their lives in it.
So, sorry this was the longest blog entry ever. Thanks if you stuck around to the end! Bren will be recapping your muy interesting results show tomorrow evening. Lindsay Out!
I also recall owning the "Bad" record. As in, record album. NOT a CD. And my favorite song was "Smooth Criminal" because I thought the "Annie are you OK? Are you OK Annie?" was the just the coolest part of a song ever. Also on this album? "Man in the Mirror", which we hope Kris does not choose to reprise tonight. Learn a new song, people! Also: sing "Billie Jean" and we automatically hate you for the rest of the season. Just sayin'.
Anyway, on with the show! Top 13! Wooop woooooop! Two minutes in and I'm already saying WTF because there is some sort of grandiose new entrance procedure for the judges and Ryan. The hell? This is so weird. Why are they being announced like they're the Pope about to preside over Easter Mass? Once everyone's all situated, Ryan introduces the contestants. Alexis appeared to have secured the pimp spot for herself, if the order they are introduced is the order they are performing. She better blow it "out the box."
After the obligatory MJ montage, Lil is up first. They truly couldn't have picked anyone better to go out first on this night, because I don't think she ever gets nervous. We see her family montage with her sad tornado wreckage and her cute ass kids. She's singing "The Way You Make Me Feel", which I think Bren and I may have said would be good for her. She's awesome. When she sang the Mary J. song, it did sound kind of copycat, but I think this is really rad. Since I can't really critique her vocal, I'll rip on her clothes. Good God, Lil. News flash: girls with junk in the trunk cannot rock the white pants.
Kara is seriously the best judge ever. Now it's time for Scott MacIntyre. You guys MAY have heard this but in case you haven't...he's blind. His family package is nice, and he was a really cute little kid, despite what his current Jon Heder-esque hair would have you believe. He's singing "Keep The Faith", which was also a Billy Joel and Bon Jovi song, lol.
OK, did you guys listen to the lyrics?? Had they had MJ night last year, Archuleta would have TOTALLY sung this. I think Scott falls in the Josh Groban category. Nice voice, good with the piano, but just not marketable as a current Top 40 recording artist. I didn't hate this performance, save for the disastrous falsetto note in the middle, but I didn't love it. I mean come on though, he's visually impaired...he's back next week.
Up next is Danny Gokey who is totally thinking "Eff you Scott, you ganked my song choice this week!" His video package doesn't mention his wife at all, it's just him and his family talking about music, which is really cute and endearing. He's going to be singing "PYT (Pretty Young Thing)" and OMG OMG OMG please let him sing the Tenderoni lyric....YESSS HAHAHA. When Megan and I were young and dumb, we'd laugh our asses off about this song and that lyric. Tenderoni...lmao. Anyway, Danny kills it and reminds me why I liked him all those weeks ago, before he was all singing about hope and shit and the producers were shoving his widowism down our throats. Welcome back, Mr. Gokey.
After Danny comes Oil Rigger Michael. We take a trip to Texas to meet his coworkers and some of his family. Charming. Oh God, he's singing "You Are Not Alone." Worst MJ song ever. I hated this song when it was popular. He's sort of countrifying it, but also bringing some soul to it...it's okay. Kind of weird in parts, something seems off. Maybe he's just nervous. The judges all really really seem to like it, which is surprising. I thought it was kind of meh. I like Michael though.
We've got Jasmine up now and her family is so fun and cute. I would probably like to hang out with the Murray family I think. She's singing "I'll Be There", which oy: ten bucks Randy trots out Mariah's name. This is much better than her semifinal round songs, with the exception of a few clunkers in the middle there. This was a little stiff and old-fashioned. Hey, her mom got a rockin' new wig! She gets lukewarm critiques all around, with Randy namedropping MC (told ya!) and Simon telling her she was "robotic" and she should act her age. How to tell when the audience agrees with Simon when he gives a bad critique: lack of booing.
Bren and I predicted Jasmine as a potential candidate to go home. She didn't have enough of a fan base to keep her in the semis, since she's here as a wild card, and the little girl/old lady vote is probably tied up to Kris Allen or like, Alexis. We'll see tomorrow if we know this show as well as we think.
And judging by the shrieks that accompany Kris Allen's video package, I'm thinking my previous statement is accurate. Damn, he's a cutie. Aww, and a newlywed! Jesus, are they just the most disgustingly perfect couple ever or what? Kris is doing "Remember The Time" with his acoustic guitar. WOW, is he pretty. So, so pretty....wait, what? Ahem. I'm a sucker for a cute boy with a guitar, sorry. This is kind of like something John Mayer would do. The vocals are okay, he gets a bit shouty and manic towards the end, but he'll stick around. Paula displays cougarish tendencies towards him at judging--watch out Kris!!
Next is Allison. Her interview package talks about how she used to sing at this ginormous Latin shopping center. WHAT? That is AWESOME. I effing love this chick you guys. She's singing "Give In To Me", which I don't know unfortunately, but I don't care. Allison rules. This song totally suits her and she is rocking out like nobody's business. Was it the best vocally, technically? No, but for her to have stage presence and sound like that at 16, damn , yo. She is my favorite girl in this competition. Her pink Farrah Fawcett hair has got to go, though. She is so effing WEIRD. I realize I'm babbling, but I can't remember having been this enamored with a female contestant on this show in like, forever.
OK, now we've got ANOOOOOP. Who still, despite having a stylist this week, is dressing like Nick Burns: Your Company's Computer Guy! Anoop's parents are really cute and nice, but his video package is a little bit bland. He's going to be singing "Beat It." This is either going to be awesome, or it's going to tank. So far, it's pretty awesome. I love Anoop so bad. Even though he has this weird Matrix background going on behind him. And...oh shit, this is getting bad. I think he's running out of steam because he keeps running around on the stage. Ugh, this got ugly quick. Dammit Anoop. The judges all hated it, even Paula, who doesn't hate anything. I hope people hated Jasmine more.
How many more do we have left? This show is taking forever tonight. I thought I'd be more into MJ songs but apparently not. Now we have Jorge, who I apparently have developed a soft spot for. His enormous family is all cheering from Puerto Rico. He's singing "Never Can Say Goodbye", so I guess Jackson 5 songs are allowed. This is boring, safe, cabaret, all those adjectives the judges like to throw around. Jorge's got a very nice voice and he seems like a terrific dude, but this blew. Sorry, J.
Megan Corkrey is up. I went to change my clothes during her interview package and didn't feel like rewinding, but I caught the end of it and it was about her cute kid. She's doing "Rockin' Robin" which is the PERFECT song choice for her. She's in a vampy red dress, doing her thing. I wish I had her teeth. This is the first time I liked her a little bit, before she was just meh to me. This was respectable enough for me. The judges all give her pretty crappy feedback, but I am too distracted by Paula's GIANT golden sequined dog tag bracelet to write down what they said.
Next is Adam. He gives a surprisingly geniune interview package about developing thick skin and how if he had tried out for Idol five years ago, he'd have been a hot mess. My words, not his. His parents seem nice and normal. He's doing "Black or White." Oh man, here we go. Guys, I'll admit it. I kind of love Adam Lambert. This is RIDIC over the top, but have you ever SEEN footage of a Michael Jackson concert? Over the top doesn't describe it.
The middle part is all crazy and shouty, which is how MJ does it in the song. Paula loses her shit and can't even articulate anything, and Adam's crying all over and oh sweet baby Jesus get on with it. We're going to run over again! The judges all give him crazy high praise, including Simon, who I think secretly hates Adam and secretly wishes he could make money off him.
Unfortunately for Matt Giraud, he has to follow this. And knowing Matt, he's not going to do some sort of knock your socks off, blow the roof off performance. But he does do what he does best, which is I why loved him from the start. Aww, his dad cried in his video!He's singing "Human Nature" at the piano, and it's perfect Matt--bluesy, shows off his range, and I just love listening to him. I would buy Matt Giraud's album. He and Danny have returned to original form tonight, in my opinion. The judges speed through their comments, which means we're totally going to run out of time and people's DVRs will get cut off.
Alexis is up last in the pimp spot. Ryan keeps emphasizing her special number tonight. I would like to give a shout out to Leanne, a dedicated reader, who pointed out that on a radio show today, they announced that 1-866-IDOLS-13 is a porn line. FAB. I wonder if this will affect her votes at all. People who watch this show are dumb sometimes. Anyway, in her video package, she teaches her daughter to say "Seacreast OUT," which completely rules. I love Alexis. Not as much as Allison though.
NO WAY. She is singing "Dirty Diana" which is only like the BEST MJ song ever. YESSS. OMG, is she wearing a sequined formal ROMPER? WITH TIGHTS? And horrific shoes?? I don't know what to look at first! Damn, she is working this song. She earned the pimp spot tonight. She gets a little bit shouty and it seems like she trips over the words sometimes, but I still like it. I would love an Allison and Alexis duet, to this song. Word.
Anyway, we're running over time, and Ryan announces that there is a change to the show regarding the results and Simon says it "involves us." Well for those of you who don't watch So You Think You Can Dance, I can tell you exactly what the change is going to be. On SYTYCD, the bottom three (based on the votes) every week have to "dance for their lives" and then the judges send someone home.
Yeah, this is totally going to happen on Idol. I kind of love it. I always thought the judges should be involved in this process in the finals. They are involved every other step of the way, why not now? At least the results show might have less filler if we've got to fit people singing for their lives in it.
So, sorry this was the longest blog entry ever. Thanks if you stuck around to the end! Bren will be recapping your muy interesting results show tomorrow evening. Lindsay Out!
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Oh Idol, you saucy little minx!
Guys, I am so sleepy of Idol right now. I have the Killer AI Fatigue. You know, that feeling of despair that sets in right before the finals start, where you wonder where in the hayell the judges found these people and why you even watch this show. Then a Cookster song, or a Chris Daughtry or Kelly Clarkson or Carrie Underwood song rolls up on my iTunes and I remember why. The night is darkest just before the dawn.
We've got dark times to get through tonight, because Tatiana is returning into our lives. But let's not dwell on her just yet. Ryan tells us this is a "very special" episode of Idol. As a person who grew up in the 80s, that means to me that in the course of this show, someone will a) get pregnant b) drink alcohol or c) be forced to try marijuana in a school bathroom. He moves us right along, speeds through the introductions and tells us that all eight are performing and the judges will pick the three at the end. See, this show could totally be this way all the time.
Jesse's up first, hoping to make us all forget her very karaoke rendition of "Betty Davis Eyes" by singing "Tell Me Something Good." Hmm, this could be awesome or it could suck. She is wearing this awful granny cardigan on over what looks like a dress made of trash bags and bad boots, but the song is decent. She's miles better than she was last week, or two weeks ago or whenever it was. Simon tells us again how she was the last minute choice, and all the judges seem fairly okay with what she's turned out. Statement that I will repeat over and over: I'd rather have her than Tatiana.
Up next is Matt Giraud, who I am so glad they gave a second chance. Matt is singing "Who's Loving You" by the Jackson Five and he nails it. YES. He and his Chuck Bass scarf totally should have sung this song last week. I really believe if they had, he probably could have made it through. I love Matt. Simon somehow compares him to Taylor Hicks, which just, no. I really hope they put him in the finals.
After the break it's Megan Corkrey singing "Black Horse and a Cherry Tree." Eh. I can see how she's appealing and probably could make an interesting record, but she just doesn't do it for me. The singing is not great, she flubs a lyric or two, I think, and I get so distracted by that weird jerky dancing that she does. She has a case of mush mouth with this song too, all the lyrics seem like they are running together. For some reason the judges just fall all over her, Simon pronounces it terrific (really?!), but again: I'd rather have her than Tatiana.
Then we have Von. Or effing Von, as Brenna and I refer to him. He is singing "Sorry Seems To Be the Hardest Word" and could he have PICKED a longer song title? Christ. Go away, Von. This performance blows. Adam and I turned to each other and one point and said in unison "This sucks" with wrinkled up noses. The judges basically drive the final nail into his coffin, and this will be the last we see of him. BYE VON.
Up next is Jasmine, singing "Reflection" by Xtina. DAMMIT, Jasmine. Bad song choice. She should not have picked a slow ballad. Didn't Kara tell you to sing Rihanna? If she blows it and Tatiana gets through, I will be so pissed. This song is too big for her, the melody is too tricky and she sounds really strained throughout. Surprisingly though, the judges all praise her, which is fine, because repeat after me: I'd rather have her than Tatiana.
Next is Ricky Braddy. Guys, Ricky is awesome. I feel bad because he didn't really get a fair shot lumped in the group with Danny Gokey and Michael the roughneck, because we saw those guys upteen times before the semifinals. He sings "Superstitious", and this is generally very good, with a few weird parts. They cut to a camera angle from above and we see Anoop and Tatiana in the balcony jamming around, and you just know Anoop is dying up there. Poor guy.
Nutbag is up next. Her interview is just what you'd expect. And for the third or fourth time, we're going to hear her sing "Saving All My Love." Seriously, Tatiana, that's junk. She doesn't have a bad voice, but learn a new song for Seacrest's sake. At this point, I am literally begging out loud for them to cut her. After she's done, of course we go to her batshit jibba jabbing, and she is totally copying off Jorge's "I'm so emotional right now so I have to speak in Spanish!" I call shenanigans on that, we have NEVER seen her do that in any of the other millions of hours of footage. Simon calls her out on singing the same damn song AGAIN. PLEASE let this be the end.
I have never been so glad to see Anoop Desai in my entire life. He reprises his Hollywood week performance of "My Prerogative" and is slightly manic but mostly good. God, I love Anoop. He's so fun. And he's not dressed like the IT guy any more but seems to have borrowed a screen printed shirt from Michael the roughneck. Work it, Anoop.
So now it's time for the results. Jasmine gets put through, which, meh, but that's one less spot for Nutbag. Ricky's out. Aww, that stinks, but out of the three guys tonight (I'm not even counting Von), he was the bottom of the three for me. Good, but not my favorite. Okay, now it's between Megan and Tatiana. And thank sweet little baby Jesus, Megan's through and Tatiana's out of our lives, finally. Seriously, why doesn't someone drag her effing psycho ass off the stage?? Why are they letting this happen? COME ON. They are totally going to run over time!
Gah. Ok, so after commercials, it's now like 9:02, which means if you're tuning in for Hell's Kitchen (if so, what is wrong with you?), right now you're seeing Jesse Langseth get cut. I have to say, I honestly thought she was the best out of all the girls tonight, so I think that's kind of junk, but whatever. A guy's going to win this season again. Von's out, no surprise there, peace out dude. Now it's down to Anoop and Matt G., our two favorites from waaaay back in January. DAMMIT. This sucks. Seacrest announces that Matt is in, which YAY, but sad for Anoop.
But wait! In an unprecedented move by the show, Simon tells Anoop that for the first time ever, they've decided on a Top 13, and Anoop's in too! WOOOOP! Man, they are really getting off on effing with this kid, aren't they. Poor Anoop. BUT YAY!
So we've finally got our "top" group. Tune in next week when the games begin!
We've got dark times to get through tonight, because Tatiana is returning into our lives. But let's not dwell on her just yet. Ryan tells us this is a "very special" episode of Idol. As a person who grew up in the 80s, that means to me that in the course of this show, someone will a) get pregnant b) drink alcohol or c) be forced to try marijuana in a school bathroom. He moves us right along, speeds through the introductions and tells us that all eight are performing and the judges will pick the three at the end. See, this show could totally be this way all the time.
Jesse's up first, hoping to make us all forget her very karaoke rendition of "Betty Davis Eyes" by singing "Tell Me Something Good." Hmm, this could be awesome or it could suck. She is wearing this awful granny cardigan on over what looks like a dress made of trash bags and bad boots, but the song is decent. She's miles better than she was last week, or two weeks ago or whenever it was. Simon tells us again how she was the last minute choice, and all the judges seem fairly okay with what she's turned out. Statement that I will repeat over and over: I'd rather have her than Tatiana.
Up next is Matt Giraud, who I am so glad they gave a second chance. Matt is singing "Who's Loving You" by the Jackson Five and he nails it. YES. He and his Chuck Bass scarf totally should have sung this song last week. I really believe if they had, he probably could have made it through. I love Matt. Simon somehow compares him to Taylor Hicks, which just, no. I really hope they put him in the finals.
After the break it's Megan Corkrey singing "Black Horse and a Cherry Tree." Eh. I can see how she's appealing and probably could make an interesting record, but she just doesn't do it for me. The singing is not great, she flubs a lyric or two, I think, and I get so distracted by that weird jerky dancing that she does. She has a case of mush mouth with this song too, all the lyrics seem like they are running together. For some reason the judges just fall all over her, Simon pronounces it terrific (really?!), but again: I'd rather have her than Tatiana.
Then we have Von. Or effing Von, as Brenna and I refer to him. He is singing "Sorry Seems To Be the Hardest Word" and could he have PICKED a longer song title? Christ. Go away, Von. This performance blows. Adam and I turned to each other and one point and said in unison "This sucks" with wrinkled up noses. The judges basically drive the final nail into his coffin, and this will be the last we see of him. BYE VON.
Up next is Jasmine, singing "Reflection" by Xtina. DAMMIT, Jasmine. Bad song choice. She should not have picked a slow ballad. Didn't Kara tell you to sing Rihanna? If she blows it and Tatiana gets through, I will be so pissed. This song is too big for her, the melody is too tricky and she sounds really strained throughout. Surprisingly though, the judges all praise her, which is fine, because repeat after me: I'd rather have her than Tatiana.
Next is Ricky Braddy. Guys, Ricky is awesome. I feel bad because he didn't really get a fair shot lumped in the group with Danny Gokey and Michael the roughneck, because we saw those guys upteen times before the semifinals. He sings "Superstitious", and this is generally very good, with a few weird parts. They cut to a camera angle from above and we see Anoop and Tatiana in the balcony jamming around, and you just know Anoop is dying up there. Poor guy.
Nutbag is up next. Her interview is just what you'd expect. And for the third or fourth time, we're going to hear her sing "Saving All My Love." Seriously, Tatiana, that's junk. She doesn't have a bad voice, but learn a new song for Seacrest's sake. At this point, I am literally begging out loud for them to cut her. After she's done, of course we go to her batshit jibba jabbing, and she is totally copying off Jorge's "I'm so emotional right now so I have to speak in Spanish!" I call shenanigans on that, we have NEVER seen her do that in any of the other millions of hours of footage. Simon calls her out on singing the same damn song AGAIN. PLEASE let this be the end.
I have never been so glad to see Anoop Desai in my entire life. He reprises his Hollywood week performance of "My Prerogative" and is slightly manic but mostly good. God, I love Anoop. He's so fun. And he's not dressed like the IT guy any more but seems to have borrowed a screen printed shirt from Michael the roughneck. Work it, Anoop.
So now it's time for the results. Jasmine gets put through, which, meh, but that's one less spot for Nutbag. Ricky's out. Aww, that stinks, but out of the three guys tonight (I'm not even counting Von), he was the bottom of the three for me. Good, but not my favorite. Okay, now it's between Megan and Tatiana. And thank sweet little baby Jesus, Megan's through and Tatiana's out of our lives, finally. Seriously, why doesn't someone drag her effing psycho ass off the stage?? Why are they letting this happen? COME ON. They are totally going to run over time!
Gah. Ok, so after commercials, it's now like 9:02, which means if you're tuning in for Hell's Kitchen (if so, what is wrong with you?), right now you're seeing Jesse Langseth get cut. I have to say, I honestly thought she was the best out of all the girls tonight, so I think that's kind of junk, but whatever. A guy's going to win this season again. Von's out, no surprise there, peace out dude. Now it's down to Anoop and Matt G., our two favorites from waaaay back in January. DAMMIT. This sucks. Seacrest announces that Matt is in, which YAY, but sad for Anoop.
But wait! In an unprecedented move by the show, Simon tells Anoop that for the first time ever, they've decided on a Top 13, and Anoop's in too! WOOOOP! Man, they are really getting off on effing with this kid, aren't they. Poor Anoop. BUT YAY!
So we've finally got our "top" group. Tune in next week when the games begin!
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Feelin' HOT HOT HOT
So okay, we've got Idol three times this week. OVERLOAD. At least next week, the real competition finally starts. These past three weeks have been exhausting. I'm still not over Norman Gentle. Anyway, results time! Randy's busted out his orange-tinted glasses for the occasion. The hell?
Time to recap these 12 contestants' journeys. Translation: filler to get them set for the group number. Hey! The song in the background of the screaming montage is that Cookster song I referenced last week, "A Daily AntheM", awesome! Love that song. Hey, did you guys know Scott was blind? Jeez, enough already show, we know!
Okay, this is awesome. I was wondering how they were going to do the group number with Scott, since he can't do choreography. Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you the style of choreography originally invented by my sister, Katie Smith, known as "seat dancing." Seat dancing can take place in your desk chair, or more commonly, in your car. The Smith sisters have multiple songs we like to seat dance to, but our favorite is "Shake It" by Metro Station. Mad props to this gang for working the seat dance like a Smith sister.
Ahem, now that you guys all know how totally weird my sister and I are, let us move on. After the commercial break, Ryan's recapping last night for us. I could have taken care of that for him: atrocious, with the exception of like, Lil Rounds and maybe Felicia. Also AWT and Nathaniel just for sheer trainwreckocity. Ryan's going to the interview portion of this show and...OH MY GOD. Von's hair. Von is totally channeling Buster Poindexter right now, you guys. If you don't know who that is, first of all, what is wrong with you? And second of all, please refer to the title of this blog to figure out who he is. Dear God. I need a minute to get over the shock of that.
Anyway, everyone's jib jabbing about something, we had so much fun, we did our best, blah blah blah. Lil Rounds is up first. And she's through, deservedly so. We have GOT to talk about her look though. She has had some unfortunate hair, and someone should nicely let her know that full, patterned skirts are not a good look for her. Just sayin'. Love you Lil! Thanks for being an oasis in this desert of suck!
She sings her song again, awesomely, and then Ryan tells the rest of the first row to stand up, and that one of the five of them is safe. This row consists of Ariana, Taylor, AWT, Kendal and Scott, so is this suspensful at all? We'll find out that Scott is safe after the break. Oops, spoiler!
I have some issues with Scott. The first is his wardrobe. Seriously, just because the guy can't see himself is no reason for people to dress him like they do. That is just not cool. He is wearing like, an effing Members Only jacket or something over a horrible teal tee shirt. I hope they fix this next week. Also, I hope he uses the piano a lot. He's kind of how Brooke was...really uncomfortable unless she had her instrument. Incidentally, "Mandolin Rain" was performed originally by Bruce Hornsby, who is a really accomplished pianist as well as singer. So this song probably would have been way better had Scott been able to use a keyboard.
So now it's time to find out the fate of the back row. Nathaniel and Kristen are up first, and both are out. Boo. Nathaniel is hilarious and I think Kristen has a really good voice, so that sucks. Up next is Felicia and effing Von. They are both out too. Damn. I liked Felicia too. So we're down to Jorge and Ju'not. Well, this isn't suspensful either, but I guess they thought it would be because they both got praise last night. Jorge's through, and damn, it's only 8:40? What are they going to do for the next 20 minutes?
OOH, I'll tell you. We're finding out tonight which contestants are going to compete for a wild card. I forgot how they did this part. So we're going to whittle these 24 losers down to 8 who will perform tomorrow night. Are they going to pick the final three tomorrow too? It's only an hour show. Hopefully they jam all the performances into the first hour and pick the three in the last. So now we're going to find out who those lucky eight are.
The first person they pick is...Von. DAMMIT. Why won't he go away?!? Next is Jasmine, who I think deserves a second shot. Then Ricky Braddy (really?) and Megan Corkrey. Blah on both of those.
WHAT THE HELL. WHAT. THE. HELL. They pick Tatiana to come back. Jesus, if she AND Norman both get to come back, I will for real break up with this show. I know Brenna and I both threaten that all the time but I seriously will do it. I hope she blows it tomorrow and they pick another girl. DAMMIT, show.
I can't even enjoy the fact that Matt Giraud got picked because I'm still pissed about Tatiana. Way to go, Matt! Please don't blow it. They also pick Jesse Langseth, which I'm kind of surprised about. That was a sleeper pick. And the final spot goes to Anoop! YAY ANOOOOOP! His ass better be in the top 12.
That's it for tonight! Quick recap: the top 12 consists of Danny Gokey, Michael Sarver, Alexis, Allison, Kris Allen, Adam Lambert, Lil Rounds, Jorge and Scott. If my life were perfect, the final three to round them out tomorrow would be Anoop, Jasmine, because she's the least offensive out of the wild card girls, and Matt Giraud. But nothing's perfect, so tune in tomorrow to see what kind of shit Idol throws at the wall this time!
Time to recap these 12 contestants' journeys. Translation: filler to get them set for the group number. Hey! The song in the background of the screaming montage is that Cookster song I referenced last week, "A Daily AntheM", awesome! Love that song. Hey, did you guys know Scott was blind? Jeez, enough already show, we know!
Okay, this is awesome. I was wondering how they were going to do the group number with Scott, since he can't do choreography. Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you the style of choreography originally invented by my sister, Katie Smith, known as "seat dancing." Seat dancing can take place in your desk chair, or more commonly, in your car. The Smith sisters have multiple songs we like to seat dance to, but our favorite is "Shake It" by Metro Station. Mad props to this gang for working the seat dance like a Smith sister.
Ahem, now that you guys all know how totally weird my sister and I are, let us move on. After the commercial break, Ryan's recapping last night for us. I could have taken care of that for him: atrocious, with the exception of like, Lil Rounds and maybe Felicia. Also AWT and Nathaniel just for sheer trainwreckocity. Ryan's going to the interview portion of this show and...OH MY GOD. Von's hair. Von is totally channeling Buster Poindexter right now, you guys. If you don't know who that is, first of all, what is wrong with you? And second of all, please refer to the title of this blog to figure out who he is. Dear God. I need a minute to get over the shock of that.
Anyway, everyone's jib jabbing about something, we had so much fun, we did our best, blah blah blah. Lil Rounds is up first. And she's through, deservedly so. We have GOT to talk about her look though. She has had some unfortunate hair, and someone should nicely let her know that full, patterned skirts are not a good look for her. Just sayin'. Love you Lil! Thanks for being an oasis in this desert of suck!
She sings her song again, awesomely, and then Ryan tells the rest of the first row to stand up, and that one of the five of them is safe. This row consists of Ariana, Taylor, AWT, Kendal and Scott, so is this suspensful at all? We'll find out that Scott is safe after the break. Oops, spoiler!
I have some issues with Scott. The first is his wardrobe. Seriously, just because the guy can't see himself is no reason for people to dress him like they do. That is just not cool. He is wearing like, an effing Members Only jacket or something over a horrible teal tee shirt. I hope they fix this next week. Also, I hope he uses the piano a lot. He's kind of how Brooke was...really uncomfortable unless she had her instrument. Incidentally, "Mandolin Rain" was performed originally by Bruce Hornsby, who is a really accomplished pianist as well as singer. So this song probably would have been way better had Scott been able to use a keyboard.
So now it's time to find out the fate of the back row. Nathaniel and Kristen are up first, and both are out. Boo. Nathaniel is hilarious and I think Kristen has a really good voice, so that sucks. Up next is Felicia and effing Von. They are both out too. Damn. I liked Felicia too. So we're down to Jorge and Ju'not. Well, this isn't suspensful either, but I guess they thought it would be because they both got praise last night. Jorge's through, and damn, it's only 8:40? What are they going to do for the next 20 minutes?
OOH, I'll tell you. We're finding out tonight which contestants are going to compete for a wild card. I forgot how they did this part. So we're going to whittle these 24 losers down to 8 who will perform tomorrow night. Are they going to pick the final three tomorrow too? It's only an hour show. Hopefully they jam all the performances into the first hour and pick the three in the last. So now we're going to find out who those lucky eight are.
The first person they pick is...Von. DAMMIT. Why won't he go away?!? Next is Jasmine, who I think deserves a second shot. Then Ricky Braddy (really?) and Megan Corkrey. Blah on both of those.
WHAT THE HELL. WHAT. THE. HELL. They pick Tatiana to come back. Jesus, if she AND Norman both get to come back, I will for real break up with this show. I know Brenna and I both threaten that all the time but I seriously will do it. I hope she blows it tomorrow and they pick another girl. DAMMIT, show.
I can't even enjoy the fact that Matt Giraud got picked because I'm still pissed about Tatiana. Way to go, Matt! Please don't blow it. They also pick Jesse Langseth, which I'm kind of surprised about. That was a sleeper pick. And the final spot goes to Anoop! YAY ANOOOOOP! His ass better be in the top 12.
That's it for tonight! Quick recap: the top 12 consists of Danny Gokey, Michael Sarver, Alexis, Allison, Kris Allen, Adam Lambert, Lil Rounds, Jorge and Scott. If my life were perfect, the final three to round them out tomorrow would be Anoop, Jasmine, because she's the least offensive out of the wild card girls, and Matt Giraud. But nothing's perfect, so tune in tomorrow to see what kind of shit Idol throws at the wall this time!
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Ricky Martin, Olan Mills, Taylor Hicks... yeah, it's Idol.
I must warn you readers. I'm writing this after the Pens game (wooo!) with about 3 glasses of wine in me already. If I'm especially snarky, blame the wine. Or the fact that I'm over this season before it's even begun. Also, I'll be fast-forwarding a lot.
My nemesis Von Smith is up first. He totally reminds me of this girl I went to HS with who screamed instead of sing, and she got the lead in every musical because her mom was the chorus teacher, so I immediately hate him. He's singing "You're All I Need to Get By" by Marvin Gaye, and my dear friend Randi emails me to remind me that he has Ricky Martin hair. He's wearing a suit and a tee-shirt and red Pumas. His non-screaming-singing lasts about 30 seconds. His non-screaming-singing is actually not that good. He misses notes when he's not singing them as loudly as one possibly can. He also looks creepy, and I don't mean David Cook last year when he had creepy hair, but more like serial killer creepy. The judges apparently disagree with me and love him, particularly Kara and her shiny silver shirt that looks like it should be at the Matrix on a Thursday night. Simon then insults Lindsay & me, claiming that Von is like Clay Aiken. Guys, our friendship was born of Clay Aiken, so on behalf of Lindsay, I say, HELL NO.
Taylor Vaifanua is up next, and we have never seen her before tonight except for a few seconds of her in the group with Danny & Jamar, who is at home going, why the F am I at home & Norman f'ing Gentle was on last week? She sings "If I Ain't Got You" by Alicia Keys, wearing some hemp bracelets and pleather tights. It's not terrible, but it's also not Alicia, which means it really is terrible. Kara barely starts talking and Taylor is crying already, which means she will be like Brooke, and she should just go home now and spare us all/her the pain.
Alex Wagner-Trugman, aka Elliot 2.0, is next. I think he reminds me of a white Dev Patel, and is therefore absolutely adorable. In his interview, he talks about how he started going to the gym to look more like Simon, and he is hilariously dorky. He's taking on "Guess That's Why They Call it the Blues" by Sir Elton, and he is busting out awkward white boy dancing right away. It's not all that good, which makes me sad, because I want to root for him. He tried to do some kind of microphone stand throwing move, and totally Fs it up, and it's all a lot of Taylor Hicks type grunting and twitching terribleness all around. And OMG HIS DAD IS TAYLOR HICKS.
Arianna Afsar is singing apparently the first Abba song ever on Idol. I am surprised by that. I would've thought Carmen would've destroyed "Dancing Queen" at some point. Instead, Arianna is attempting "The Winner Takes It All." She's like a bad HS student trying out for "Mamma Mia." Awful all around. Then Simon bitches about being in a time machine, even though last week when everyone picked current songs he bitched about everyone picking terrible songs.
Ju'not Joyner, from Bowie MD, with the cutest little boy EVER, is up next. He's singing "Hey There Delilah," which I think he sang during Hollywood week, or if not, correct me. WHY does he have handcuffs hanging from his beltloop?? In my opinion, he slows down the song a little too much, and it's more boring to me than pretty. Technically, however, he sounds good. I'm feeling kind of blah at the end though, and not particularly motivated to pick up my phone.
Kristen McNamara is next, and apparently somehow her hair dresser screwed up and gave her purple hair before her audition. Umm, Kristen... how does that accidentally happen? I don't understand. Anyways, we remember Kristen from the uber-dramatic group that didn't include Tatiana during Hollywood week. She's singing "Give Me One Reason" by Tracey Chapman. I like Kristen and her funky vibe. She is easily my favorite of the night, so far.
YESSSSSSSSS Nathaniel Marshall is finally here, and I want him to be my BFF right now. I love his drama queenness and the awesome look he gave Tatiana when she got through to the top 36 and that he is not ashamed or afraid to be himself. He is taking on the mammoth that is "I Would Do Anything for Love," so, yikes. I wish he'd done something like "Disturbia," like he did during Hollywood week, because I think he is completely lost in this song. He does have some fabulous moves though.
Felicia Barton, aka the girl who replaced the girl who got kicked out, is up now. She's singing ANOTHER Alicia Keys song, this time "No One." She does a better Alicia than Taylor but it's still not that good... she's cracking on some of the high notes, and she's wearing a terrible outfit to boot, but she does finish strong, and she has an adorable little boy. It's good... not enough to inspire me to vote, but I suppose top 2 in terms of girls tonight.
Scott MacIntyre is up next. I wonder in advance how they'll do the chessy show-choir-esque group sings tomorrow with Scott, because he reminds us he's blind. But, I digress. He's singing "Mandolin Rain," which I didn't realize I knew until he got to the chorus. Eh.......... it's aiiiiiight, I suppose. I've never been a huge fan of Scott. Everytime anyone says his name we hear Frau Farbissina screaming "SCAAAHHHHTTTTTTTT!"in "Austin Powers." As predicted, the judges all fall all over him.
Next is Kendall Beard, who is Southern and blond and sounds obnoxious. Predictably, she sings a Martina McBride song, "This One's For the Girls." OMG, she has a crazy dad. I love her dress, sans the garden growing on her belt. It's a pretty terrible rendition. I'm over her. We got so bored that we looked up past contestants to see if everyone on this show who's from Texas has automatically sung a country song. I said Kelly Clarkson was from Texas and never did, and I was right. Go me. I know way too much about this show.
Jorge Nunez is up next, and he is shown in Hollywood Week rocking an awesome Chuck Bass scarf. He is Puerto Rican, and he likes to dance. He attempts Sir Elton song #2 of the night, "Don't Let the Sun Go Down On Me." Idol loves this song. Didn't Archuleta sing it in last year's final? Clay definitely sang it. Anyways... OOOOH we get a split screen shot! It's like an Olan Mills photograph that moves!!! I think he has a really nice voice, actually. They talk a little about his accent, and how he went to a dilalect coach, and I don't really listen because I am as over these judges as they are over themselves.
And, finally, here is Lil' Rounds. The last contestant of the semi-finals round. She is singing Mary J. Blige, so YESSSSS. She is so clearly above this competition, and every other contestant tonight, because she sounds like Mary J. and has stage presence, and pretty much could sign a contract tomorrow. In terms of Mary J. songs, I actually would've loved to hear her sing some "Family Affair" to get it perculating, but I'll take that one because it was a hot one. Dawg. Simon tells us that she sounds too much like the original. Umm... if someone told me I sounded like Mary J. Blige, I'd take that. So, thanks Simon.
My predictions? Lil' from the gals, obvi. Boys are a lil' tougher - could be Ju'not, Jorge, Scott, or even Von... I could see Kristen or Felicia in the 3rd spot, but who knows tonight. Lindsay will take you through the rest of the week... we're almost there, folks! Good night!
My nemesis Von Smith is up first. He totally reminds me of this girl I went to HS with who screamed instead of sing, and she got the lead in every musical because her mom was the chorus teacher, so I immediately hate him. He's singing "You're All I Need to Get By" by Marvin Gaye, and my dear friend Randi emails me to remind me that he has Ricky Martin hair. He's wearing a suit and a tee-shirt and red Pumas. His non-screaming-singing lasts about 30 seconds. His non-screaming-singing is actually not that good. He misses notes when he's not singing them as loudly as one possibly can. He also looks creepy, and I don't mean David Cook last year when he had creepy hair, but more like serial killer creepy. The judges apparently disagree with me and love him, particularly Kara and her shiny silver shirt that looks like it should be at the Matrix on a Thursday night. Simon then insults Lindsay & me, claiming that Von is like Clay Aiken. Guys, our friendship was born of Clay Aiken, so on behalf of Lindsay, I say, HELL NO.
Taylor Vaifanua is up next, and we have never seen her before tonight except for a few seconds of her in the group with Danny & Jamar, who is at home going, why the F am I at home & Norman f'ing Gentle was on last week? She sings "If I Ain't Got You" by Alicia Keys, wearing some hemp bracelets and pleather tights. It's not terrible, but it's also not Alicia, which means it really is terrible. Kara barely starts talking and Taylor is crying already, which means she will be like Brooke, and she should just go home now and spare us all/her the pain.
Alex Wagner-Trugman, aka Elliot 2.0, is next. I think he reminds me of a white Dev Patel, and is therefore absolutely adorable. In his interview, he talks about how he started going to the gym to look more like Simon, and he is hilariously dorky. He's taking on "Guess That's Why They Call it the Blues" by Sir Elton, and he is busting out awkward white boy dancing right away. It's not all that good, which makes me sad, because I want to root for him. He tried to do some kind of microphone stand throwing move, and totally Fs it up, and it's all a lot of Taylor Hicks type grunting and twitching terribleness all around. And OMG HIS DAD IS TAYLOR HICKS.
Arianna Afsar is singing apparently the first Abba song ever on Idol. I am surprised by that. I would've thought Carmen would've destroyed "Dancing Queen" at some point. Instead, Arianna is attempting "The Winner Takes It All." She's like a bad HS student trying out for "Mamma Mia." Awful all around. Then Simon bitches about being in a time machine, even though last week when everyone picked current songs he bitched about everyone picking terrible songs.
Ju'not Joyner, from Bowie MD, with the cutest little boy EVER, is up next. He's singing "Hey There Delilah," which I think he sang during Hollywood week, or if not, correct me. WHY does he have handcuffs hanging from his beltloop?? In my opinion, he slows down the song a little too much, and it's more boring to me than pretty. Technically, however, he sounds good. I'm feeling kind of blah at the end though, and not particularly motivated to pick up my phone.
Kristen McNamara is next, and apparently somehow her hair dresser screwed up and gave her purple hair before her audition. Umm, Kristen... how does that accidentally happen? I don't understand. Anyways, we remember Kristen from the uber-dramatic group that didn't include Tatiana during Hollywood week. She's singing "Give Me One Reason" by Tracey Chapman. I like Kristen and her funky vibe. She is easily my favorite of the night, so far.
YESSSSSSSSS Nathaniel Marshall is finally here, and I want him to be my BFF right now. I love his drama queenness and the awesome look he gave Tatiana when she got through to the top 36 and that he is not ashamed or afraid to be himself. He is taking on the mammoth that is "I Would Do Anything for Love," so, yikes. I wish he'd done something like "Disturbia," like he did during Hollywood week, because I think he is completely lost in this song. He does have some fabulous moves though.
Felicia Barton, aka the girl who replaced the girl who got kicked out, is up now. She's singing ANOTHER Alicia Keys song, this time "No One." She does a better Alicia than Taylor but it's still not that good... she's cracking on some of the high notes, and she's wearing a terrible outfit to boot, but she does finish strong, and she has an adorable little boy. It's good... not enough to inspire me to vote, but I suppose top 2 in terms of girls tonight.
Scott MacIntyre is up next. I wonder in advance how they'll do the chessy show-choir-esque group sings tomorrow with Scott, because he reminds us he's blind. But, I digress. He's singing "Mandolin Rain," which I didn't realize I knew until he got to the chorus. Eh.......... it's aiiiiiight, I suppose. I've never been a huge fan of Scott. Everytime anyone says his name we hear Frau Farbissina screaming "SCAAAHHHHTTTTTTTT!"in "Austin Powers." As predicted, the judges all fall all over him.
Next is Kendall Beard, who is Southern and blond and sounds obnoxious. Predictably, she sings a Martina McBride song, "This One's For the Girls." OMG, she has a crazy dad. I love her dress, sans the garden growing on her belt. It's a pretty terrible rendition. I'm over her. We got so bored that we looked up past contestants to see if everyone on this show who's from Texas has automatically sung a country song. I said Kelly Clarkson was from Texas and never did, and I was right. Go me. I know way too much about this show.
Jorge Nunez is up next, and he is shown in Hollywood Week rocking an awesome Chuck Bass scarf. He is Puerto Rican, and he likes to dance. He attempts Sir Elton song #2 of the night, "Don't Let the Sun Go Down On Me." Idol loves this song. Didn't Archuleta sing it in last year's final? Clay definitely sang it. Anyways... OOOOH we get a split screen shot! It's like an Olan Mills photograph that moves!!! I think he has a really nice voice, actually. They talk a little about his accent, and how he went to a dilalect coach, and I don't really listen because I am as over these judges as they are over themselves.
And, finally, here is Lil' Rounds. The last contestant of the semi-finals round. She is singing Mary J. Blige, so YESSSSS. She is so clearly above this competition, and every other contestant tonight, because she sounds like Mary J. and has stage presence, and pretty much could sign a contract tomorrow. In terms of Mary J. songs, I actually would've loved to hear her sing some "Family Affair" to get it perculating, but I'll take that one because it was a hot one. Dawg. Simon tells us that she sounds too much like the original. Umm... if someone told me I sounded like Mary J. Blige, I'd take that. So, thanks Simon.
My predictions? Lil' from the gals, obvi. Boys are a lil' tougher - could be Ju'not, Jorge, Scott, or even Von... I could see Kristen or Felicia in the 3rd spot, but who knows tonight. Lindsay will take you through the rest of the week... we're almost there, folks! Good night!
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