Sometimes, that mountain you've been climbing is just a grain of sand.

So, before we get to the actual show, I need to bitch about something. This season, there has been an overabundance of something Brenna and I absolutely loathe: contestants backtalking to the judges. I'm not sure if we loathe it for the same exact reasons, but here's what I have to say.

These people aren't professionals yet. Some of them may never be professionals. They are all here for a reason--they couldn't hack it on their own, or they wanted to be on TV, or whatever. The judges aren't just there for people to boo or woo at. When you are receiving constructive criticism (I use the term "constructive" loosely, since 80% of the time, Randy and Paula's critiques are stupid), just absorb it, learn from it, and pray that you make it another week to apply it. See also: Anoop Desai. I don't know about the rest of you, but if the song sucked, or they thought it didn't do you justice, it really doesn't matter to me one little rat's ass about why you chose it, LIL. Or SCOTT.

The point I'm trying to make is: shut up, contestants. Also, all the backtalk makes the show run over, and that sucks.

Anyway, on to tonight's ep. Ryan claims the results in his envelope could be "shocking." All I have to say is, if Allison gets eliminated, I will probably throw something. Long ass recap detailing last night--apparently, Megan Corkrey is now just "Megan Joy." Oooookay. God, I love Matt Giraud. I'm totally buying that song off iTunes.

And, group number to "Trouble" which I don't know, sorry country music fans. What the hell is Lil wearing? Why can't someone figure out how to dress these people?

After the commercial, FORD! commercial involving water balloons. Risque! And now we have to see footage of...Jorge and Jasmine's farewell party? Seriously? And now Ryan's asking everyone a bajillion questions, kind of randomly. What's going on? Did Carrie or Brad Paisley bail out and we have to have more filler than normal?

Aaaaaaand, Michael just broke everyone's heart by telling us his little girl asked him "why don't you want to be with me anymore?" Well, hell. How do you even answer that, when it's a three year old? Hopefully, he gets eliminated, because then I win the ew.com poll for this week and he gets to see his kid. Everyone wins!

After a million excruciating minutes of this, we're finally getting to results. Danny--safe. Obvs. Lil--safe. Anooooooooooop--SAFE! WOO! So we've got Allison and Michael, and Ryan asks Paula who she thinks is in the bottom three. Shit. And it's Allison. BOOOOOOO. If she goes home tonight I will be so sad, because I don't think they will use the save. She's not Gokey. Ooh and Michael's also in the bottom three!! Please let Michael go home.

Commercials. And it's Brad Paisley. Snooze. I'll use this time to tell you guys about the episode of Top Model I just watched. Creepy Von Huge-eyes Allison was in the bottom two with some girl whose name I can't even remember. Also, Teyona got her Jheri-curl weave (Tyra's words, not mine, I swear) relaxed and straightened. And Tahlia the burn victim finally came out of her shell. Oh and Sandra finally quit being a stank bitch, and got best photo of the week.

Time for more results. Scott--safe. Shocker! Megan--safe. I think this maaaay be her last week, though. Matt--SAFE! Kris--safe. Down to Alexis and Adam. I'll admit, I thought maybe Adam was in the bottom three, just because the show has done this before. Paired someone who people think would be obviously safe with someone who didn't get the best critiques the night before, only to SHOCK everyone and say that the crappy critique person is safe. The show fooled me though--Adam is safe, and Alexis is in the bottom three.

Ryan immediately tells them he's sending someone back to safety and it's...ALLISON! WOOP! My three faves are still in this! I don't really care which one of these two goes, to be honest, but I'd rather it be Michael.

Break's over, time for Carrie and Randy. OK, WHAT the hell, Carrie? That hair is terrible, and something appears to be growing out of the top of your head. Also, bad dress. They just showed all that footage of her looking all hot, and then this comes out. I think it's her alter ego, Sasha Frump. She and Randy sing a nice, sleepy ballad called "I Told You So", and it's very pleasant. I like bad-ass Carrie better, though.

Finally, time for the result. Michael is safe. DAMMIT. I totally lost the poll this week. I would have never picked Alexis. So, will the judges use the SAVE? They claim they were debating on saving her, so she's gotta sing for her life, basically. Oh man, this is sounding rough. I think this is kind of shitty, actually, to make her sing the SECOND after she finds out. I call no save...and I'm right. She's out. Aww, I liked her for the most part, she just was a little off last night. Bye, Alexis! Should have been Michael.

Also, so much for that spoiler that said the producers already picked the final four, with Alexis as one of them. Seriously, people, enough with the producer intervention shit. If they really, truly intervened on this show, would Taylor Hicks have ever happened? I rest my case.

Anyway, next week is Motown, and Bren's doing double blog duty to pay me back for that time when I blogged four eps in a row...lol. Sugar pie, honey bunch!