Oh Idol, you saucy little minx!

Guys, I am so sleepy of Idol right now. I have the Killer AI Fatigue. You know, that feeling of despair that sets in right before the finals start, where you wonder where in the hayell the judges found these people and why you even watch this show. Then a Cookster song, or a Chris Daughtry or Kelly Clarkson or Carrie Underwood song rolls up on my iTunes and I remember why. The night is darkest just before the dawn.

We've got dark times to get through tonight, because Tatiana is returning into our lives. But let's not dwell on her just yet. Ryan tells us this is a "very special" episode of Idol. As a person who grew up in the 80s, that means to me that in the course of this show, someone will a) get pregnant b) drink alcohol or c) be forced to try marijuana in a school bathroom. He moves us right along, speeds through the introductions and tells us that all eight are performing and the judges will pick the three at the end. See, this show could totally be this way all the time.

Jesse's up first, hoping to make us all forget her very karaoke rendition of "Betty Davis Eyes" by singing "Tell Me Something Good." Hmm, this could be awesome or it could suck. She is wearing this awful granny cardigan on over what looks like a dress made of trash bags and bad boots, but the song is decent. She's miles better than she was last week, or two weeks ago or whenever it was. Simon tells us again how she was the last minute choice, and all the judges seem fairly okay with what she's turned out. Statement that I will repeat over and over: I'd rather have her than Tatiana.

Up next is Matt Giraud, who I am so glad they gave a second chance. Matt is singing "Who's Loving You" by the Jackson Five and he nails it. YES. He and his Chuck Bass scarf totally should have sung this song last week. I really believe if they had, he probably could have made it through. I love Matt. Simon somehow compares him to Taylor Hicks, which just, no. I really hope they put him in the finals.

After the break it's Megan Corkrey singing "Black Horse and a Cherry Tree." Eh. I can see how she's appealing and probably could make an interesting record, but she just doesn't do it for me. The singing is not great, she flubs a lyric or two, I think, and I get so distracted by that weird jerky dancing that she does. She has a case of mush mouth with this song too, all the lyrics seem like they are running together. For some reason the judges just fall all over her, Simon pronounces it terrific (really?!), but again: I'd rather have her than Tatiana.

Then we have Von. Or effing Von, as Brenna and I refer to him. He is singing "Sorry Seems To Be the Hardest Word" and could he have PICKED a longer song title? Christ. Go away, Von. This performance blows. Adam and I turned to each other and one point and said in unison "This sucks" with wrinkled up noses. The judges basically drive the final nail into his coffin, and this will be the last we see of him. BYE VON.

Up next is Jasmine, singing "Reflection" by Xtina. DAMMIT, Jasmine. Bad song choice. She should not have picked a slow ballad. Didn't Kara tell you to sing Rihanna? If she blows it and Tatiana gets through, I will be so pissed. This song is too big for her, the melody is too tricky and she sounds really strained throughout. Surprisingly though, the judges all praise her, which is fine, because repeat after me: I'd rather have her than Tatiana.

Next is Ricky Braddy. Guys, Ricky is awesome. I feel bad because he didn't really get a fair shot lumped in the group with Danny Gokey and Michael the roughneck, because we saw those guys upteen times before the semifinals. He sings "Superstitious", and this is generally very good, with a few weird parts. They cut to a camera angle from above and we see Anoop and Tatiana in the balcony jamming around, and you just know Anoop is dying up there. Poor guy.

Nutbag is up next. Her interview is just what you'd expect. And for the third or fourth time, we're going to hear her sing "Saving All My Love." Seriously, Tatiana, that's junk. She doesn't have a bad voice, but learn a new song for Seacrest's sake. At this point, I am literally begging out loud for them to cut her. After she's done, of course we go to her batshit jibba jabbing, and she is totally copying off Jorge's "I'm so emotional right now so I have to speak in Spanish!" I call shenanigans on that, we have NEVER seen her do that in any of the other millions of hours of footage. Simon calls her out on singing the same damn song AGAIN. PLEASE let this be the end.

I have never been so glad to see Anoop Desai in my entire life. He reprises his Hollywood week performance of "My Prerogative" and is slightly manic but mostly good. God, I love Anoop. He's so fun. And he's not dressed like the IT guy any more but seems to have borrowed a screen printed shirt from Michael the roughneck. Work it, Anoop.

So now it's time for the results. Jasmine gets put through, which, meh, but that's one less spot for Nutbag. Ricky's out. Aww, that stinks, but out of the three guys tonight (I'm not even counting Von), he was the bottom of the three for me. Good, but not my favorite. Okay, now it's between Megan and Tatiana. And thank sweet little baby Jesus, Megan's through and Tatiana's out of our lives, finally. Seriously, why doesn't someone drag her effing psycho ass off the stage?? Why are they letting this happen? COME ON. They are totally going to run over time!

Gah. Ok, so after commercials, it's now like 9:02, which means if you're tuning in for Hell's Kitchen (if so, what is wrong with you?), right now you're seeing Jesse Langseth get cut. I have to say, I honestly thought she was the best out of all the girls tonight, so I think that's kind of junk, but whatever. A guy's going to win this season again. Von's out, no surprise there, peace out dude. Now it's down to Anoop and Matt G., our two favorites from waaaay back in January. DAMMIT. This sucks. Seacrest announces that Matt is in, which YAY, but sad for Anoop.

But wait! In an unprecedented move by the show, Simon tells Anoop that for the first time ever, they've decided on a Top 13, and Anoop's in too! WOOOOP! Man, they are really getting off on effing with this kid, aren't they. Poor Anoop. BUT YAY!

So we've finally got our "top" group. Tune in next week when the games begin!