Ain't too proud to blog

I'll be honest, folks, I'm not totally in the mood to blog tonight, but seeing Paula's tutu made it all worthwhile. It's Wednesday, it's 2 hours long, and I've got the Penguins beating the Flames on the NHL Network. But if anything can make me tune in, it's Motown night, so bring it on.

Is it me, or is this the longest intro ever?? I swear, there is Motown week every year, so I don't know why they feel the need to remind us what it is. But Smokey Robinson is there, and he rules, so I don't care. This week the contestants have no excuse about song choice, because there are about 500 fantastic Motown songs to choose from.

Matt kicks it off with "Let's Get It Freakin On," which is an awesome song choice. Smokey does an awesome "Marvin would love that" during their rehearsal, which is awesome, and Matt is awesome, and I'm just going to use awesome to keep describing this performance, because that's what it is. Also, apparently Matt & Randy pulled from the same cardigan closet tonight. Kara pulls out the cougar claws. Yikes.

Kris is up next, singing "How Sweet It Is." OMG, what is his shirt?? It's got way too much going on there. You guys remember in "American Pie" when Chris Klein joined show choir to get the girl & he left his lacrosse match to go to the show choir competition cuz he realized he was in love with the girl & then he sang this song with Mena Suvari? Yeah, that's the vibe I'm getting from this. It's nice, it's cute, it's good, but I'm not like, wow, I need to pick up the phone.

WHOA. Guys, Scott's outfit. If you didn't watch, I feel bad for you, because words can not do this justice. He is wearing pink jeans, a pink paisley shirt, and a brown pinstripe blazer. NONE of it matches. And I don't mean in a Chuck Bass non-matching-but-really-matching-and-looking-awesome way, I mean in a really, NOTHING MATCHING sort of way. He's singing "You Can't Hurry Love," and he says something about a man singing a Diane Ross song, and I think that I'm like 90% sure Clay Aiken once sang this. I also get the show choir vibe from this one. ZZZZZzzzzzzzzz. Also, it's terrible.

Megan is singing "For Once in My Life" and apparently doesn't have the flu as an excuse this week. Wow. Is she auditioning for a cruise ship cabaret singer job? Is she barefoot? Lindsay is going to have a fit at that. Oh, no, she has pale ballet flats on that don't work with the dress at all. OMG, this is awful. America, please put us all out of our misery. Paula starts off with something about her stunning beauty, which means they all think it's awful too.

And now it's time for Anoop, who I'm expecting a lot from tonight. He's taking on "Oooooh Baby Baby." Um, dear Anoop, what is that jacket? The falsetto portions are a little rough, but the lower parts are just gorgeous, so I'll give him a B+ for that one.

At this point, I switch to the Pens game, because my two favorites have already gone, and I need to build up my disdain for Adam Lambert.

Anyways, Michael is singing "Ain't Too Proud to Beg" and actually says he's going to "take it to church." He also claims to have "soul roots." Um, Michael... really? I don't see any signs of church or soul whatsoever in his performance. It's just meh in most places and sort of terrible in others. The judges agree. Michael talks back a little, making me think even less of his performance.

Side note: I can not wait for "Glee." I think this show looks FABULOUS and hilarious. It also looks like my high school experience. But at least I can laugh at it this time. :)

Lil has apparently had an emotional week. She's doing "Heat Wave," which I think is a great song choice for her. With that dress, I would've expected some "Proud Mary." Her hair does not look good either. But anyways, back to her singing. I think Lil is one of those people that sings so consistently well every week but never really adds anything to the songs, so it's hard to get really excited about her. Let's call it the Melinda complex. Symptons include: acting surprised when the judges compliment you, never singing a note out of tune, yet never cracking the finale. See also: Mercado, Syesha and Hudson, Jennifer. Scratch what I said about the song choice, because I think she could've found a better song.

At this point, I'm back to the Pens game again, and I'm glad I am, because Hal Gill just scored a SICK goal off a behind the back pass from Malkin. Dang, I love hockey in late March. I then see a 45 second sequence in which THE SAME PLAYER (talking to you, Matt Cooke) misses an empty net twice in a row.

So back to the conclusion of Idol. Adam is with Smokey, with his fake hair but decidedly less guyliner, and he's singing "The Tracks of My Tears." WHAT is his whole look tonight?! Joe thinks he looks like Jack White doing Elvis in "Walk Hard." I think he looks like he just stepped out of a production of "Hairspray." That said, he sounds fantastic, and I actually love that he's just sitting there singing. He must read MSHBB! But I can't get past the facade again, whatever this whole look is. Dude, just borrow a hoodie from Anoop, mess up your hair, and just sing. It was a great song & a great performance, but once again I feel like I'm watching a character.

Oh that's right, Danny! I was sitting here trying to remember who was left and couldn't think of him. Danny absolutely has the mom vote, as evidenced by talking to my mom & all her friends last week about how much they love him. We also talked about how he has glasses to match every shirt, and he doesn't fail tonight. He's singing "Get Ready" and doing his awful dance moves again. It's surprising he didn't find any Motown songs about hope or dreams. Oh geez, he's dancing with the backup singers. The performance is fine, it sounds good, but it's nothing to write home about. Another side note: let's remember the 15 minute intro now, when the judges are forced to give critiques in 15 seconds.

Allison is in the pimp spot, doing one of THE BEST Motown songs ever, "Papa Was a Rolling Stone." She messed up the lyrics in front of Smokey, and for the love of Castro, please don't F up the lyrics now. Whoa, the stylists tonight are OUT OF CONTROL. Allison is wearing blace lace leggings. She absolutely kills the song. Oh my Lord, Simon drew a mustache on Paula. These judges are gone, they do not care about this show anymore at all. Anyways, they all love Allison, and rightly so.

So that's Motown night. Matt & Anoop get mad props for both song and style; Allison & Adam get points for performance, but I'm paging David Cook's stylist right now. Bottom 3 should be Megan, Scott, & Michael, & I wouldn't be surprised by any of them going home. Thanks to President Obama screwing up my TV schedule for the week, I actually will not be blogging tomorrow, because I'll be en route to DC. Lindsay will take the results night extravaganza for you. Peace out!