Welcome, dear readers. Sorry for the delay in blogging this week. Margaritas make me sleepy. Onnnnnn to the results!
Recap of last night set to Hey Jude. Is this a subliminal message from the Idol producers telling us that Lee is gonna win this whole damn thing? Wow, uber-intense lighting on Seacrest. This means tonight is IMPORTANT and DRAMATIC. Now, I know what happened, so I can see all the FOREBODING FORESHADOWING and OMG THEY MAY USE THE SAVE and chances are you know what happens too, so we all know THEY DID. Like, OMFG, guys, this is EPIC.
Here are the judges. Kara appears to be missing a portion of her shirt. They remind us about IGFB, the judges are donating something, and I know this is a good cause, but blah blah blah. Idol is already bombarding me with messages about this on Facebook, so I tune out.
Oh, great, it's group sing time. Can we just retire this gimmick already? Oh wait, there's Lee, never mind. Hi Lee! You're awesome! Every week Aaron Kelly becomes what I think the son of Clay Aiken and David Archuleta would be. And why is Tim hanging on the scaffolding? Oh no, this just went from bad to worse when Andrew came out and I think they're trying to Glee-ify (SIX DAYS!) these songs but it's just not working for me. Oh hey, the girls look fly though. They all have this 60s gogo theme to their outfits, and that part is totally working for me. Ugh, this performance is just awful though. It's just making me long for Lea Michele in my life again next week.
The FORD! music video is some song called Will It Go Round in Circles, which I don't know. I don't really care, the video is dumb anyways. There's a kaleidoscope involved.
Results time! Siobhan is up first. Seacrest asks her to go to the center of the stage. Crystal joins her, and so does Katie. Are they doing the three groups thing they do every year? Apparently not... Seacrest tells Crystal she is safe, leaving Katie & Siobhan, and then Seacrest is like "I can tell you that one of you is safe... and so is the other! OH SNAP!" Dumb. So obviously, it's finally a boy who's getting the lowest amount of votes.
JASOOOOON DERUUUUULOOOO. Wearing a jacket that I think he stole from next week's mentor, Mr. Adam Lambert. Wow, Jason can dance. I didn't know that. This song is currently one of my favorite exercise jams. This is actually pretty good. Whoa, until the weird camera stop-motion effect starts. Dummmmmb. Dude is actually a really good performer though. Apparently Kara signed him, and she's like a proud mom, which is kind of endearing. She's still missing parts of her shirt though.
And from that, we go to..... David Archuleta. Whoa, what's with the flat hair, Archie? Hey, remember when this performance made Lindsay cry in season 7? :) Archie sounds fantastic as per usual, but I really haven't missed him much. I'm asleep 30 seconds in. Seacrest chats with him afterwards and he's all like, "GOSH! You guys. I thought I was gonna get judged, gosh. Hey, Ellen! I love Ellen! Gosh. I'm writing an album, gosh. Cook isn't gonna beat me up again, is he? Gosh. Bye."
Ok, back to the results. Lee DeWeezy is up first. Dude, I love his tie. He goes to one side of the stage. Big Mike manages to pimp himself on iTunes and goes to the other side of the stage. Casey joins Lee, who currently looks like he's going to vomit. Aaron stands next to Big Mike and looks like the tiniest man on earth. Tim, his hair, and his abs completes the Lee/Casey/Tim trifecta, meaning Andrew is with Aaron and Mike. So, obviously of these groups is the bottom three. Seacrest puts Ellen on the spot, and she actually gives a guess... and then backs down from it, of course.
Well, you probably know by now that Mike, Aaron, and Andrew are your bottom three. Aaron goes back to safety, making all the tweens in America cry.
Rihanna. Fast forward.
Andrew is safe. Shock and awe inside the Idol studios. Mike reprises This Woman's Work. He's not my favorite contestant by a mile, but there's no denying the guy can sing, and I can think of four other people that should be going home before him. So there's no complaint from me when the judges use THE SAVE. Everyone in the audience loses their shit, Kara leading the way. And then my DVR cut off, of course.
So, I think this means two people leave next week now, which means it's UBER DRAMA for Adam Lambert. He wouldn't want it any other way, right? :) See you then!
2 comments:
For the record, I would like to announce that I DID NOT cry last night when Archie sang Imagine. Srsly.
Not a big surprise they used the save since there's only a few more weeks.
I actually said before the results show that I thought Neck Tattoo would get voted off or they might have to use the save. A lot of the weaker performers just had really good weeks, so I figured someone more talented might be vulnerable. Look at me, the John Fucking Madden of Idol right now.
The best part of the save was how the judges were celebrating, as if it even surprised them that the save went down.
We rarely watch the results shows live because we prefer FFing through half the garbage.
I never hear of this Derulo guy. You can't convince me that he isn't the "Chris Gaines alter ego" of Michael Jackson. The King Of Pop lives. Seriously, Derulo dances like Michael, except not as good. Considering the man is 50 and faked his own death, you gotta think he'd lost a step or two.
Rhianna is scary looking. She looks like Grace Jones from "A View to A Kill" -- no really, look:
http://i.timeinc.net/ew/dynamic/imgs/021025/1673__jones.jpg
That's some scary shit.
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