Ew, why is someone holding a sign that says "Steven just give me a kiss"? You do realize Steven is a) drunk and/or high, b) probably old enough to be your grandfather, and c) has a face more messed up than Joan Rivers.
So, top 11. Lauren and Scott sing a duet. I think this is that song Mike Fisher's wife sang once with an old country dude. Lauren sings circles around #oldladyvote. OMG, now that I've gotten verification that someone else out there gets a George W. Bush vibe from Scotty, I am even more over him. He does that weird thing with his face that W did. Or maybe Will Ferrell as W. Will Ferrell should do W as Scotty, that would be brilliant. Oh hey, the song is over and it's results time! They're both safe.
Ugh, FORD! music video to that Superman song from circa 2002. How does this show make so much money and yet make such cheap looking shit? I think Linds and I made better videos in Comm Arts 290 at Allegheny. The Idols get fan mail. James got a wrestling belt. Who the hell wastes time mailing this stuff?
Naima and Jacob sing a duet. I don't know this song, and it's not very exciting. I want J Lo's dress tonight. Results: Jacob is safe and Naima is in the bottom three. No surprise there.
Time for Fantasia. No joke, her song is called Collard Greens and Cornbread. I was going to fast forward, but I have to hear this. She stole her dress from Jessica Rabbit. This song is much better than that time she came on and sang that crazy song where she basically just jumped around stage a lot and even Simon looked frightened, and Simon looooooved her. This song is ok, but in the pantheon of Idol winners, Fantasia is near the bottom, just above Taylor Hicks and Ruben. OMG, Fantasia looks like a giant next to Ryan. Hahaha.
Haley, Thia, and Pia are performing Teenage Dream. Haley totally forgets the words. Come on, Haley. Everyone who listens to the radio knows the words to this song. Pia is like, really? I have this good of a voice and you're making me sing Katy Perry? They try to harmonize, and everyone watching this is thinking, "The Warblers did a much better job." Ryan is basically all, that was great, but let's crush a dream now. Pia and Haley are safe, Thia is in the bottom three. Again, no surprise.
Hey, Kris Allen is in the house! Hi Kris! We love you!
Stefano, James, Casey, and Paul have formed a band. They're singing a song by Paul McCartney & the Wings. I enjoy seeing these guys together, but they could have chosen a more exciting song. It's kind of boring. Steven tells them they can open for Aerosmith's next tour. Casey is safe. James is safe. So we're down to Stefano and Paul, and surprisingly Paul is in the bottom three. Also, for the record:
Bradley Cooper: sex on a stick
Paul McDonald: not sex on a stick
Jamie Foxx and will.i.am don't stand a chance against my remote control. Fast forward.
Finally. Two of these three are going home, and we have no more saves. Paul is safe, so Naima and Thia are headed home. Don't think there's anyone out there who's going to argue with that one, except maybe Lauren, who is bawling. We're back to boring, predictable results shows. Cue the Cookster, cue my DVRing cutting off, and cue Clueless starting on HBO. As if!
No comments:
Post a Comment