Friday, February 15, 2013

These girls are on fiiiiiiiiiiire

Idol begins tonight's episode by reminding us that it's been six years since a girl won this show. Will this be a year one takes back the crown once worn by Kelly and Carrie? My gut says no, because only teenage girls vote for this show anymore, and teenage girls like White Guys With Guitars. Prove us wrong, ladies.

Angela Miller is up first, and she's singing an original song. She's from Beverly, MA, which is the hometown of one of my best friends, so I'll be cheering for her. Plus, this song is pretty good, and she sounds fantastic singing it. The judges are all in disbelief, and she gets a standing ovation.

Candice Glover is next, singing Girl On Fire. Full disclosure: this song drives me crazy, even though I feel like I should love it. But Candice sounds pretty good, perhaps even better than Alicia, even if her tight snakeskin pants are a bit misguided. (Seriously, I think my college roommate had those pants when she went as Steven Tyler for Halloween our junior year.)

Janelle Arthur is all country, all the time. This is her third time auditioning for the show. I don't really get that dedication, because I tried to audition once and gave up after that, but good for her, I guess. The judges like her but I think she's kind of generic.

So Zoanette/Donut is next, and she's instructing the band how she wants her song to be performed, and then holy crap, she's on the drum set herself making things up as she goes. This is going to either be the most amazing thing or the most disastrous thing ever on this show. Seriously, she admits to just making up the song on stage in rehearsal. So the song starts... and she's singing about the judges. And then, omg, she stops singing and starts yelling at the band to slow it down, and then she loses her drumstick. I have no idea what's going on anymore, but the judges inexplicably love it. Nicki goes so far as to say she is honored to be a part of the Zoanette era. I mean, she has the potential to be really entertaining... but also really terrible.

Angela, Candice, Janelle, and Zoanette are all moving on.

Shubha Vedula sings that Mariah song about believing, which I think Archuleta sang for Mariah night in his season - right Linds? I don't remember much about that night other than the Cookster's amazing rendition of Always Be My Baby.

Juliana Chahayed sings Landslide, and the ten seconds we hear are beautiful.

OMG. Donut took Kez Ban to the mall. That's a reality show I want to see. Kez is also singing an original song. It's... underwhelming. I think Kez is really great, but probably not for this show. She's going home, and she's really sweet in her exit interview, actually asking for a job with the production staff to stay around because she had so much fun.

Ashlee Feliciano is next, singing that song from Twilight that I'm ashamed of liking because it's from Twilight, and then the judges ramble about not taking everything so seriously. Cue montage of all of the girls being serious, of course.

Melinda Ademi finally sings an uptempo song, and she's wearing some kickass boots. Then we get a shot of Seacrest dancing in the audience, and he is the whitest white boy dancer of all time. Keith says she has a "light about her." Um, ok.

Now it's time for Kree, and we ask again, what kind of name is Kree? Oh dammit, she's singing Stars, by my current amazing girl crush Grace Potter, and I love this song so much. Please don't eff it up. Keith loves her. I think she's got potential, but maybe that song was her peak.

Lauren, Kree, and Melinda are safe.

So there are 24 girls left, and they need to get it down to 20. Randy sends three more girls home, and then he wants to have a few more girls sing again. Stephanie is up first, and she looks like the girl on Nashville who isn't Tami Taylor or the Heroes cheerleader. She's the jazzy one I liked from Chicago, and unfortunately she's singing Phillip Phillips' song from last year which we are all SO SICK OF by now. But she sounds good, and the judges seem to like it.

Rachel also has to sing again, and I don't like her nearly as much as Stephanie. She sings a song I don't know, and it's fine and all, but I wasn't blown away. Unfortunately, the judges prefer Rachel, which sucks, but realistically neither of them were going to win anyway.

So we have our top 20 girls, but there are still too many guys. They also need to sing again. Adam Lambert Flannel Version (aka Adam Sanders, not Adam Sandler) is up first, and I've liked him since his first audition. He's done terribly since then though. He sings Taking Chances, which is a song I belt frequently when in private, and it's not great. I think Adam is going bye bye.

Josh Holiday (isn't that a baseball player?) is singing Georgia On My Mind. He apparently wants to be a gospel artist, and American Idol seems to be the perfect place to pursue that goal, right? OMG. He totally rips his pants. And then keeps singing. It's fantastic. I kind of love him. Adam Sanders is going home, along with seven other guys, but Josh and his ripped pants are sticking around.

Now we FINALLY are done with auditions and have this season's top 40. Next week we have something called the sudden death round - is that new this year? I didn't watch last year - where we finally get an audience and live singing. Hang in there, readers, we're almost there!

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