Girls Group Night! Yesssss...bout to see some bitchesssss. I honestly kind of want a girl to win the show this year since it's been like a hundred years since one has. Jordin? Right? That was a long ass time ago.
Anyway, here we go! Dramatic opening montage brings us into the girls filing into the auditorium ready to get through the first round of cuts. More girls than guys made it to Hollywood this year, apparently, so these will be some INTENSE CUTS.
Angela Miller, Victoria Acosta, and Mariah Pulice are all highlights in this first group. Mariah was the one who was "anorexic" but really just looked normal and skinny. She sings "Gravity" which is a great song but she only sounds okay on it. I don't think that was worthy of a pass. Angela is cute as hell and I love her hair. I don't know her song but she sounds pretty awesome. Victoria was the mariachi singer. She sings "Killing Me Softly" and is okay. Out of the three, I'd probably only put Angela through. Oh, well, they put Angela and Victoria through, and Mariah gets cut. I'm okay with that.
Montage of cuts including Ashley Smith, Anne the annoying Miss Arkansas girl and Sarah the Jersey blueberry farmer. I am sad about two of those cuts. Use context clues to figure out which one.
After the commercials, we have two country girls pitted against each other. Rachel Hale, who was super perky at her audition and Janelle Arthur, who I remember really liking. Rachel sings first and sounds pretty great. I don't know the song at all, sorry country people. I also don't know Janelle's song but think she sounds better than Rachel. I don't get why they both can't be through, but maybe they are? Oh and they both make it through, that's nice. They both seem like good girls.
Montage of girls getting through but we don't hear who. Thanks show. After the break we start out with Candace Glover, who seriously could win this whole show based on her first audition. She is so freaking good. Also Nicki's hair is very subdued today. Next we have Megan Miller, the pageant queen who auditioned on crutches and left straight from there for surgery. She sings "Titanium" and sounds great too. Moving on is Candace but not Megan. I'm kind of surprised by that.
More yes montages. It would be nice to actually hear some of these people. Next up we have Isabelle something who was freaking awesome and talked about how she lost 50 lbs to audition for the show. She is gorgeous. Oh she has no last name...really? LOL.
YES IT'S KEZ BAN. Kez is fucking rad. I am super into this next segment. They show her going absolutely insane cheering for people in the audience. I love that. OMG she is actually singing "Nights in White Satin" and she kind of sounds like shit because she's lost her voice from screaming. That makes me sad. Also in this group is Briana Oakley, who is very good and is totally getting through to groups. Judgment time: Kez and Briana are both through to groups.
So now we have 72 girls who are about to be put into producer-structured groups. I cannot wait for this shit. Oh hell, the girls already know that the producers picked them because the guys spoiled it. Dammit. Oh man, Kez is with Angela Miller and Janelle the country girl and some other girl I've never seen. She's trying to force the girls to sing "California Dreamin'" and this is not happening.
We also check in with Isabelle's group. Shocker: they also can't agree on a song. Zoanette is in this group, remember I thought her name was Donut. Yikes. They show a group of four girls who I've never seen before and didn't catch any of their names on the first try. Sorry. LOL okay they picked "Sin Wagon" which is a terrible, terrible song.
Update: the girls in Kez's group find working with her "challenging", according to Ryan. She's kind of acting like an asshole right now. Ew, and she's like hacking and spitting into a trash can. Get it together, Kez.
Commercials are over and we're back and ready for the groups. The first ones out are the "Swaggettes", wow. Candace Glover is in this group. YES, they're singing "Hit Em Up Style" and they sound AMAZING. The harmonies at the beginning were awesome. Melinda Ademi and Denise Jackson are also in this group. Candace is really terrific. This group rocks. The whole group moves forward and deservedly so.
Up after commercial is the Sin Wagon group. This song sucks, seriously. Keith's face is great haha. Lauren Mink and Brandy Hotard are two of the girls in this group. Nicki is wearing a ridiculous hat. All four girls are through, and I should probably go back and get the other two girls' names, but...eh.
Now we have a group that looks like they were drama lama. They are singing "Somebody I Used To Know". It's Savannah Votion, Lizz Weiss, Daysia Hall and J'Leigh Chautvin and it's kind of a hot mess a little bit. My husband goes, so what do you think of this? And I respond, it sucks. He's like, yeah, that's what I thought. Ha. The only one through is Daysia, who I thought was terrible, personally. Cue the dramatic overreactions from the rest of the group in 3, 2, 1...
Back from the break, time for more groups! "The Dramatics" is getting their camera time next and apparently they had problems too. They started out okay but at 4:00 am, imagine that, they're having issues. GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP. GOD. You are not going to get any better at 4 am. Some girl named Janel is a drama queen or something and runs off and hugs her mom? I don't know. Kriss Mincey, Janel Stinney, Cristabel Clack, and someone else absolutely butcher "If I Die Young"--did they just pretend to stab themselves on the "it's a sharp knife" part? What the actual fuck? Janel is having an absolute breakdown. This is nuts. Keith fucking hated it. I love Keith. How the hell are they all through? This group was a joke.
Montage of shitty groups. Yay, cutting everyone! Go Keith. A couple quick cuts of some good girls who are the only ones in their groups to get through, I didn't move fast enough to get their names.
Urban Hue is the next group. The girl whose boyfriend was in the bad car accident is in this group. She was really good, I liked her. Seretha Guinn, Tenna Torres, Kiara Lanier and someone else whose name I don't get are in this group singing "American Boy." It was not good. At all. Nicki hated it, shocker, usually she loves everything. Where is Randy? I missed that I guess. Going through from this group is everyone but Seretha, which I think is some bullshit. Whatever, show.
Randy is back. Yay? The group with Donut in it is next. They are singing "Knock On Wood". In addition to Donut, we have Erin Christine, Lauren Bettes, and Isabelle. Donut is wearing a really unfortunate outfit and sounds awful. This has to be the end of the road. WHAT? THEY ONLY CUT LAUREN??? Seriously, Zoanette has got to go. My god.
Another group with problems. Girls are bitches. These girls all look homeless in this group. Apparently one named Liz is a problem? Or something? I don't even know, I can't keep up. They are also singing Gotye. It's Shira something, Alisha Dixon who just yells the song, Liz Bills who isn't wearing shoes, oh my god I hate this group. This is SO TERRIBLE. They all should be cut. They all look unwashed. OMG Liz is the only one who is through, the rest of these bitches are gonna be PISSED. They all hated her.
Oh and now Shira comes back to beg for another shot. Shira, you sucked worst of all, so it's time to go, babe. That was embarrassing.
American Idol--I don't want to download your app.
After the commercial, we have a really stupid group who changed their song choice the morning of auditions. This should go well. Oh god, so Stephanie Schimel, Alex Delaney, Kalli Therinae and Holly Miller completely screw up Gotye for like the third time this evening. No one knows the freaking words. Idiots. Randy says "Obviously, it was terrible", which makes me laugh out loud. Going through is Stephanie and Holly. I think Holly was the only one who really deserved that.
Montage of girls with lyrics written on their hands. Nicki's face is hilarious through this. Haha, this is actually one of the better montage segments they've done in a while. HAHA Nicki wrote "THEY SUCK" on her hand. I love this.
Another stressed out and frustrated group coming up. Theme of the night. God, another one singing "Sin Wagon"--this song sucks! They're mad at one girl who wanted to go to sleep. PEOPLE--YOU ALL NEED TO SLEEP. JUST DO IT. Britnee Kellogg is good. And knows the words. Kree Harrison, what the hell kind of name is Kree?? Brandy Neelly I think maybe doesn't really know the words. Haley Davis is the one who slept and has the words on her hand. Yikes. Haley is clearly lying and saying she went to sleep because she had a "stomach virus" but Nicki tells her she didn't have to go to sleep if she had a virus. The fuck? This is so ridiculous. The only one from the group that doesn't make it is Brandy Neelly. AWKWARD.
Ten minutes left so that means Kez's train wreck of a group is coming up last. They are calling themselves The Misfits, so there's that. The morning of auditions, the group is basically leaving without her. Kez honestly sounds terrible. I really loved her at her initial audition. Breanna actually sounds crappy too. Angela makes it work, somehow and so does Janelle. Weirder things have happened tonight, so this will be interesting. They put them all through?? Jesus...honestly, Kez and Breanne were not good. This show, seriously.
So tomorrow is where they whittle down the remaining girls into 20. And I guess we'll find out which 8 guys get cut tomorrow too? Brenna's got you then!
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