It's the second night of the sudden death round! Which isn't very sudden at all and instead drags out for two hours. But I suppose that's sudden as far as Idol things go. I'm psyched to finally have an audience. Let's do this, boys.
Mariah looks gorgeous tonight. How do I get my hair to do that? Nicki's hair is kind of subdued, but still pink.
The guys raise from the floor like David Archuleta did the time Lindsay and I went to the Idol tour. Oh hey, we have a few attractive guys this year. They're probably all 17 years old.
Paul Jolley is from small town Tennessee. He's one of the cute ones. He sings something I don't know but sounds like country. Oh, apparently that was a Keith Urban song. Way to suck up, Paul! It was a little shaky at times, but pretty good overall.
Johnny Keyser is up next. He's one of the ones that Nicki was trying to nail during his audition. He looks like an Abercrombie ad. He should sing LFO, but instead he's singing I Won't Give Up, by Jason Mraz, which is honestly one of my favorite songs from the past year. (#sorrynotsorry) Anyway, he struggles on the first part but improves on the higher notes in the middle, but his stage presence is just..... blah. Non-existent. Nicki is still trying to bang him. She also flat out tells him that he doesn't have the best voice, but he's pretty. Mariah tells him he's bringing the masculinity. I'm willing to bet he makes it through.
Oh yes, it's JDA. And he is singing Rumour Has It. In some KILLER HEELS. He is blurring the gender lines of these groupings, and it's fantastic. Remember back when I hated Adam Lambert and said he was too over the top? Either this show has gotten really boring, or I don't mind anymore, because this makes Lambert look conservative and yet I love it. And you know what? He sounds good too. Please keep him around, judges. I will tune in to watch that every week. Some of the judges tell him that he could have concentrated more on the vocals and less on choreographed performance, which I kind of agree with, but still, he sounded better than I bet half the guys will tonight.
Interviews with the girls, blah blah blah. Back to the boys.
Kevin is next, aka Butter. He's doing it for the kids, which is always a lame reason to me, because you should have a real job for your kids. But whatever, he's singing some Bryan Adams. I can't think of anyone else right away who has sung this song, but I feel like there's been a lot and it should be banned. He's not that great. Nicki loves him, for some reason. Did I miss something? I actually agree with Randy tonight, yikes.
Time for Chris Watson, waiter by day, singer by night, wearer of insanely large scarves around his head, and possessor of incredible cheek bones. OMG, he is wearing a bedazzled vest with no shirt underneath, bedazzled pants, and bedazzled scarf. (FYI, the first time I wrote that sentence I spelled "bedazzled" three different ways. It was like Nick Miller with rhythm.) Anyway, he's singing Sitting on the Dock of the Bay. His voice sounds radio-ready, even though I don't love the arrangement. Nicki says, and I quote, "I want to marry your vibrato." I will give her this much: I may not always agree with her, but she gives interesting feedback, she hasn't once said pitchy, and she has a taste for non-WGWGs, and Idol needs that.
This is going to be tough for the judges. We're halfway through, and while no one has completely blown me away, no one has totally sucked either.
Devin is next, and he is still in high school. Oh god, he's singing Listen, from Dreamgirls. I'm just jealous because I sing this song in my bedroom a lot. Oh wait, now he's singing in Spanish. Huh?! Wait, now it's English again. MAKE UP YOUR MIND. The judges all think he was amazing, but I didn't. They love that he sang in Spanish. I can sing in Spanish. It's not like he wrote the lyrics himself. Whatever, I think he's staying.
I didn't catch the next kid's name because I was distracted, and I don't know the song he's singing, but it sounds like it could be Bruno Mars. Maybe? I'm great at blogging tonight. Oh, his name is Elijah. Keith takes a page from the Simon playbook and calls him current and relevant. Nicki tries to nail this kid too, and it's gross because he's only 18. Thank you, Randy, for saying that it wasn't a great vocal. Why am I agreeing with Randy so much tonight? Mariah likes that he is Mexican and Chinese, because this show doesn't even try to pretend that it's just about the voice.
I'm really glad Charlie is still around. Sometimes I think he's really interesting and different, and sometimes I think he looks like a high school kid at a talent show. He sings Rocket Man, and while it isn't the best performance I've ever seen, I at least stop what I'm doing to watch, which is more than I've done for most of the guys tonight. He's definitely one of a kind. I want Keith to keep saying "Charlie" over and over again. Oh no, now Charlie is talking back to the judges. We do NOT like that around here at MSHBB.
And we still have 42 minutes to go. Hurry it up, Seacrest.
Jimmy is also from Tennessee. Unsurprisingly, he wants to do country. I don't know this song, but it's very dull. Apparently it's another Keith Urban song. Nick is amazingly unimpressed. Like seriously McKayla Maroney level unimpressed-ness. Moving on.
Curtis is next, and I recall liking him during his audition. He's singing that song that Ruuuuuuuuuuuuuben sang like a million times. "Baby baby baby baby ooooooh baby." You know, that one. He sounds great, but let's be honest, R&B type singers get nowhere on this show anymore. The judges all love him but advise him to not get too old, which is good advice, because he's only 25 but sings like he's 55.
Finally, it's time for the DRAMATIC STOOLS OF SAFETY. The judges also raise up from beneath the stage, and they let us know they had one split decision, so Jimmy gets to decide that one. THE DRAMA.
Curtis is up first, and he's through. Jimmy is going home. So is Kevin. Elijah is safe, after a serious fake out by Keith. It's JDA's turn, and please let him be staying. He is not, BOOOOOOO. I'm already far less interested in this show. Cute Paul is a split decision. Jimmy gives his two cents, and he wants to keep Paul around, and Jimmy should be a judge because he put together a well-thought, knowledgeable argument.
Next is bedazzled Chris. He's going home. Time for Charlie... oh man, I'm worried for Nicki if he isn't making it. No need to put her on suicide watch, because Charlie and his weirdness aren't going anywhere.
So now it's down to Johnny and Devin. I wouldn't be too upset about losing either. Johnny Abercrombie is going home, and Devin "I can sing in Spanish" is safe.
Phew! That was exhausting, and we have to do it all over again next week. We'll be here, guiding you every step of the way.
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