I apologize in advance is this is a particularly uninspired entry. I'm exhausted from my first attempt at hot yoga, I have reading for my class tomorrow, and basically it was just a terrible episode. Plus, I still have Pants on the Ground stuck in my head. But... Kristen effing Chenoweth is our guest judge. She is a goddess. I adore her.
The first terrible audition Kristen has to sit through is some weirdo who seems to be channeling Lady Gaga with some glitter and feathers on his face. He's one of those who just won't get the hint & keeps going & of course we have to sit through every painful moment. This is only the fourth audition show & already I'm over the psychos. Make it stop. To be honest, I stop paying attention to a lot of what follows, except to notice that Kara & Kristen have become BFFs, making me wish for the first (and last) time in my life that I was Kara Dioguardi.
The producers completely manipulate my emotions for the next guy, Seth something or other, by a) showing his absolutely adorable children and b) playing "Fix You" by Coldplay, which usually makes me cry, and then he c) sings my favorite song ever for his audition. Seth is actually pretty fantastic, without being annoying at all. The judges all adore him & he's easily through.
There seems to be an awful lot of dumb filler tonight, especially for an hour show. Was Orlando really that bad? We finally get to Jermaine Purifoy, who is auditioning for the show for the second time. He has a pretty good R&B type voice, which Kara strangely calls "honest." Simon tells him the chicks will love him. Kristen just sits there exuding amazingness without even lifting a finger.
Geez, the sob stories are out in full force in Orlando tonight. The next girl, Shelby Dressel, has some kind of nerve issue that I didn't really pay attention to. She's adorable, has an average voice, forgets her lyrics, and then swears. Randy offers no criticism whatsoever in his incoherent babbling. Can we kick him off the panel & put K-Chen there permanently? For some bizarre reason, they all like her, and she gets a golden ticket. Apparently 18 people are heading to Hollywood, even though we saw, what, two of them? So annoying.
Apparently Kristen could only participate on day #1, so sadly she's gone. Seriously, Idol? You tease me with that little Kristen and then take away her awesomeness? So. Sad. I'm going to go listen to this for awhile. And yet next week I have to sit through Avril Lavigne and Katy Perry. So. not. fair.
Ohhhhhh man, Jay Stone is in there doing his best Blake Lewis impression with some weird beatbox version of "Come Together." I think I can speak for Lindsay when I say HELL TO THE NO. There is only one Blake in the eyes of MSHBB. Kara is like "I missed Blake the first time around, so heck yes." Jay actually then rolls into "Ain't No Sunshine" with a half decent voice, and of course Kara & Randy ruin it by attempting to beatbox themselves. What the hell is going on?! OMG, then Jay actually says he's bringing something new & different to the competition. Um..... right. He actually gets through. I hate him already.
Montage of a few girls who can actually sing... some dude named Cornelius who sings Proud Mary, does a split, then splits his pants & actually gets through... can you tell I'm bored by this episode? Annoying sisters from New Jersey who do annoying New Jersey stuff in annoyingly bright colored outfits. Both of them get through, and you know they're gonna crash & burn in Hollywood.
Jarrod Norrell sings a terrible rendition of "Amazing Grace." Kara is all like "really? you're terrible." Jarrod then refuses to believe them, keeps singing, & it all gets to the point where security handcuffs him. I'm so bored by this all that I'm really not even paying attention anymore. It annoys me that I have to sit through this shit when we barely got to see any singers who were actually good tonight.
Our next audition, Matthew Laurence, actually robbed a bank with a BB gun when he was 15 & went to jail. Wow. He also sings a pretty kick ass version of "Trouble" which is quite impressive. He's got that Taylor Hicks soul patrol vibe without actually being Taylor Hicks, so thank God for that. Of course the judges all love him.
And that's it. What an uneventful evening. I'm spent.
3 comments:
I am really looking forward to seeing Avril Lavigne, but you seem to have nothing but disdain for her in this article, and you have not even seen her yet on the show. Anyone who can sell 30 million albums by the age of 23 sure seems like they might have some good input, especially on a show like American Idol since she has already proven herself. Those young kids might be able to learn a few things from someone has already one it. I though perhaps you guys would be objective, but I guess not. Well, if that is way you are going to report then don't expect me to follow your blog. Just saying...
Totally agree, that episode was lame and the whole getting Chenoweth for half the show, even lamer! She is so freakin' adorable :)
p.s. who the hell is Jim?
p.p.s Avril Lavigne is a full of it little brat who lucked out that the tweeners were actually into her crap! Sk8er Boi, reeallly???
Jim, I would say welcome, but you seem to have already decided you don't want to follow us.
If you are haven't read us before, let me tell you up front that we aren't objective at all in this blog, and if that is what you are looking for, then we probably aren't for you. We write honestly and bluntly, but have never considered ourselves to be objective. Brenna and I have been longtime fans of the show and we write this blog as an extension of our own comments to each other about the show.
If you read old posts from past seasons, you will see that we clearly have favorites, although we don't necessarily try to force other people to favor those contestants. We also have strong opinions about what we dislike, and we're vocal about it here.
Thanks for your comment, and I'm sorry you chose not to follow us.
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