An exercise in mediocrity, part two.

So let's all hope the boys are better than the girls were last night. I'm pretty nervous about this season, but then I remembered that at this point in previous seasons, I hated David Cook and loved Danny Gokey, so there is still hope.

Todrick Hall is our first performer, and I already don't like him based on his audition and Hollywood Week. OMG, he's doing Since U Been Gone in the style of Bobby Brown. He's barely even singing. This is awful. And he's wearing fingerless leather glove type things that are just completely unnecessary. Ew, he's so full of himself. The judges equally hate it. Let's hope U Been Gone tomorrow, Todrick.

Next: Aaron Kelly, aka David Archuleta 2010. He's singing a Rascal Flatts song, which all sound the same to me. It's not the best performance ever, but the song suits him well, and grandmas/tweens all over the country will adore him. The judges like him. He's so safe.

Jermaine Sellers is a church singer and singing next. He's the diva that called out the band in Hollywood Week. He's singing Get Here, which I'm fairly certain Justin Guarini did in season 1 and made Paula practically pee her pants. (I'm an encyclopedia of Idol song choices. It's pathetic, I know.) OMG, is he wearing a tuxedo coat with tails? And what appear to be equestrian pants and boots? This outfit is terrible, and so is his falsetto. The judges are skeptical. I'm not a fan.

Tim Urban was the guy who replaced the guy who got kicked out. He's singing Apologize. It's all right I suppose, but I spend most of it watching the Czech Republic/Finland hockey game on my computer. I was just bored. Simon basically says as much.

This is the first time we're ever seeing Joe Munoz (or WHOnoz, if you're Lindsay). I never understand why we never get any footage at all of people who make it to the top 24, and instead get attached to people they cut. He's singing Jazon Mraz while wearing a scarf that borders on Chuck Bassesque. He's another David Archuleta wannabe. Where are our Idol MEN this year?? I need a Cookster or a Daughtry. Anyways, Joe does ok I suppose, the judges say he's a little forgettable, but I'm sure he's fine because the 12 year old girls are voting.

Next up: Tyler Grady, who I kind of love. So did Kara & Posh during his audition, which was hilarious. He's doing American Woman, and man I hope this is good... I'm laughing through most of it, but it's sort of awesome and still bad in so many ways. I think Simon forgot his name, because as the camera is on him, he's totally asking Kara what it is. SIMON. You are responsible for 12 names a night. Get it together, you're not off the show yet. Anyways, I like Tyler, the judges (despite telling him that his '70s schtick was awesome up till now) tell him to be more current. Ugh. You're fine till next week, Tyler.

Lee Dewyze, whose name takes me 3 minutes to type, is a paint salesman and our next performer. He's also the closest thing we have to an attractive guy this year. Epic fail, Idol producers. He sings Chasing Cars, a song I adore, and I'm pleasantly surprised. It's not perfect, but he has potential. He has that raspy voice I enjoy (see: Daughtry, Chris and Cook, David). Simon likes him, even referencing Cookster, so wow... he's good to go.

John Park, who was the one Shania Twain was acting all cougarlike over, is now proposing to Shania on TV and singing God Bless This Child. It's not that great, he's really shaky and off-key. Ouch, I used to like him. The judges aren't fans either.

Big Mike! He's so adorable. He's singing This Love. It's not the most challenging song, he's playing it safe, but he does a quality job. No Adam Levine, but really, who is. He's had so much good air time in the audition rounds that it wouldn't matter what he sang, he'd be through regardless.

Alex Lambert has a mullet. A MULLET. And he is SUPER awkward on stage. Zero presence whatsoever. He doesn't have a terrible voice, it's sort of Jason Mrazy, but he's just soooooo awkward. And he sort of has some Taylor Hicks in him. Eeek. The judges basically agree with me.

Casey James, he of the denim shirts and taking them off for Kara fame, is up next. He is song flirting with Kara via Heaven, and it's good, albeit awkward because everyone thinks Kara wants to bang him. According to Kara, he is eye candy AND ear candy.

Andrew Garcia has the pimp spot this week, and he's singing Sugar We're Going Down. Well, that was unexpected. And it's acoustic. Huh. It's pretty good, I just hope he doesn't become "that guy who takes a pop song and makes it acoustic every week," because that will be boring. Even Cookster didn't mix it up every week. But I really like Andrew, and I think he'll be sticking around.

So those are your boys. Better than the girls last night, I'd say, but I still wasn't blown away by anyone. Our first results show of the season is tonight - Lindsay will take you through it. Good night!