We love you Denver! City by the bay! John Denver!

I've never been to Denver, but...mountains? Thin air? Crazy people swearing at the camera? Check!

Apparently Idol discovered Chris Daughtry in Denver? I didn't know that. Call me Chris! I saw Bon Jovi a few years ago, and his band opened for them. When the band sang "Dead or Alive", Chris came out and duetted with JBJ. Freakin' awesome. Yes, I'm a geek, and I've seen Bon Jovi in concert like a billion times, so sue me LOL.

Posh is back! MAYJAH! Up first is Mark, who gets mistaken for Jack Black all the time, apparently. I really can't see it, except they are both chubby guys with dark hair. Sorry Mark. LMAO and his interesting fact about himself is "I love cheese"...you can't make this shit up. I am laughing my butt off right now, he's telling some giant story about how he was on the run with his mom when he was like four? I can't follow. I like his audition, he sings "Tempted" and even though he seems to get out of breath at parts, but he sounds really good. I'm on board with Mark. Aww, and his kid is really cute.

Segue into people feeling nervous and how they deal with their nerves...this is so interesting, Seacreast! ZZZZZZZ. Now we have Mario, who's wearing some kind of oversized Army jacket and can't stop laughing. He's on my last nerve already. He butchers "Jailhouse Rock", and I want him to just go away now. KTHXBAI Mario!

Back from commercials with a montage of pissed off people, swearing and flipping off the camera. I honestly don't find this even a little bit entertaining anymore. God. Next up is Kimberly, who has a really cute daughter. Her daughter can't really remember what show her mom is auditioning for, but it's sweet. I"m preeeeeeeetty sure Kim's wearing a wig. Tyra Banks would be proud. She sings a song that I don't know the name of but I know it was in an iPod commercial. Sorry. Anyway, I like her and she's through. Yay Kimberly!

Lots of golden tickets given out in Denver, possibly including Danelle from Seattle who has giant earrings. She hosts live karaoke, which I think might be in one of the top five most fun jobs ever. My friend Megan would be perfect for that job. Her voice is...weird. It's like it could be good, but she has some weird tendencies. I don't know if I like her yet or not, but she's through.

After the break, montage of stupid outfits and bad looks. Then we have Casey James, who was in a devastating motorcycle accident when he was 21. I think he'd be hot if he got a new haircut. Makeover time! He sings one of my favorite John Mayer songs, "Slow Dancin' in a Burning Room", so he automatically gets some points from me. Minus points though for the denim on denim look he's rocking. Woof. He's through with three votes, even though Simon hates him because the girls made him take off his shirt.

Up next is 16 year old Tori who came with her entire family. Her sister/cousin, someone comes in with pictures of the judges, which are hilarious. She sings another John Mayer song, and I think she's only okay. She tries to disguise it with lots of runs, which I hate. She's gorgeous, but her voice is mediocre at best. But she's through anyway, so we'll see Tori in Hollywood.

Commercials are over and now we have Austin, who has a douchey aura about him already. He's from DC, is studying music composition and is a long snapper on the football team. He sings all the time including...on his MOPED. OK, this guy is an epic fail. And his audition blows. He sounds like Peter Brady in that ep of the Brady Bunch when his voice changed. Do you guys remember that??? Anyway, I guarantee this guy will totally blame everyone else on his crappy audition except for himself. I hate you, Austin.

Up next is Kenny, who considers himself "the male Mary J. Blige"...dear God. Nice plaid shirt and medallion there, Kenny. Mary J. should be embarassed that her name was even used anywhere near this guy. AWFUL. NEXT.

Side note, I love Posh Spice right now. She's rocking an insane look, and tells Kenny that despite his audition being TERRIBLE, it was "a good choice of song." Love her ass.

Back after the break with a montage of crap. I feel like I should set up a macro for "montage of crap" when recapping these audition eps. One guy auditions with "Part Time Lover", which I can't hear without thinking of Kevin Covais.

Next we have Nikki Nix, who traveled from Florence, Italy for the audition. So question...is she Italian, then? And is auditioning for AMERICAN Idol? Am I missing something? Is she an American citizen but is living in Italy? SOMEONE ANSWER THIS. Also her speaking voice is super annoying. Her singing voice sounds like a Pussy Cat Doll or something. I think I hate Nikki Nix. They all put her though and love her, but I can't stand her. And she wasn't deserving of Randy's million percent yes.

Haley Vaughn is 16 and she was born prematurely. She also lost her dad when she was ten. Ouch, Haley. She seems like a totally put together, nice teenager. I hope she's good. Her goal is to be the first black country/pop crossover. She sings "Last Name" and you can tell she's really nervous but she has potential to have a good country voice, I think. I don't know how she'll fair in Hollywood, but I like Haley. Her family and friends are super cute too.

OMG the final audition in Denver is Bikini Boy, aka Ty, singing Achy Breaky Heart. Why did they even show this, or give a shout out back to Bikini Girl?? Gross, show.

So we've got a total of 26 people from the Denver auditions going to Hollywood. The last audition ep is tomorrow, FINALLY. I'm so glad this process is almost over. I love Hollywood week so much, you guys. Brenna will take you through Wednesday's ep. Adios for now!