You & me could write a bad romance

I apologize for this late post, but last night I went out for one drink, which turned into several drinks, and pretty much I was too exhausted when I got home to attempt to blog. Such is the life of a last semester grad student. ;)

So here it is..... GROUP NIGHT. Pretty much the reason I still watch this show. Why do Lindsay & I love group night so much? Here are a few reasons, to start.

We start off with the most ominous montage Idol can throw together, full of DRAMA and SUSPENSE and people advising others not to panic, but guess what, they'll panic. They'll stay up all night and fight and self-destruct, and this, ladies and gentlemen, makes brilliant television.

The first group we see are "The Dreamers" featuring Mary the Rocker, and "The Mighty Rangers," who have an awesome name. They also show a girl who was in a group with Gokey and Jamar last year, and insists upon going back into the same closet they practiced in last year. My money so far is on The Dreamers giving us the biggest crash and burn, because they start off by wanting to kick two members out of their group before they even begin.

SHUT UP THERE ARE GROUPS SINGING LADY GAGA. Idol, you have officially become awesome again. Seacrest is throwing around way too many names tonight, so I'll be referring to people and groups mostly by the nicknames I can think of, but basically there are a lot of groups rehearsing all over the hotel and trying to outsing each other and giving each other dirty looks and generally being drama queens. The closet group is getting kind of bitchy as Gokey girl tries to take charge. Rocker Mary is trying to split up her group, but it doesn't work, so they get back together. Big Mike's group is all put together, so he's on the phone with his wife, who's currently in labor. The Mighty Rangers seem to have two factions that so aren't on the same page. Rocker Mary is starting to get on my nerves. And, with that, it's time for bed.

Seacrest tells me everyone is calm and confident about their groups' progress. I don't like that. I want drama. I want crying. I want spirits to be broken. I want crazies like Rocker Mary yelling at her group. Oh wait, we have that. And now she's crying. Holy crap, she's this year's Tatiana.

Big Mike's wife has her baby, and it's incredibly sweet to watch him. I heart Big Mike.

Ok, performance time! The first group is Faith, singing Irreplaceable and it is baaaaad. Bad harmonies, bad solos, just bad... and somehow they get through. Huh? Is my migraine affecting my hearing? Big Mike's group, Team Awesome, is up next singing some Temptations. Castro 2.0 is in this group! This is the first time they've even mentioned him. So is Seth, he with the cute kids. Both Seth & Castro 2.0 are going home, but Big Mike is through. Woo!

Neapolitan is the next group, and they're apparently in a feud with Destiny's Wild. They're both singing Bad Romance. Destiny's Wild claims they wanted to do the song a capella and that Neapolitan stole their idea. Simon likes Neopolitan, and they're all easily through to the next round. Destiny's Wild takes the stage next, and they are SICK. Damn, that's how you do group night! Ellen calls it weird. Um.... Ellen.... have you seen GaGa? They're definitely my favorite group of the night, and they're all through.

Montage of a bunch of groups getting through, and then we get The Mighty Rangers. They're singing Closer, they're not that great, and we get the first total begging breakdown of the night from the dude who looks like Chris Sligh but with shorter hair.

Closet Group (real name: Phoenix) is up next, and one of their members just completely quit because she didn't want to humiliate herself. So now they're down to four members and are completely freaking out. They're singing Carry on Wayward Son and Jermaine is really the only one who impresses me. Gokey Girl starts talking about their "struggles" and Simon basically tells her to shut up. Gokey Girl and one other guy go home, while Jermaine and another guy are through.

And, as we get every year, here's a montage of several groups all screwing up the same song. This time it's Sweet Escape by Gwen Stefani. Why would you even choose to do this song? One of these groups is Big Dreams, with Matt the guy who was in jail and Amanda the girl who begged her way to Hollywood. Amanda completely effs up the lyrics like everyone else has, and the rest of them aren't any better. None of them get through. Amanda completely breaks down and has mascara smeared like allllllll over her face as she's bawling on the phone, and it's so awesome. I'd seriously watch weeks of this footage.

Janell Wheeler is one of my favorites so far, and she's in Middle C with another Jermaine and Casey. They are pretty fantastic. Three Men and a Baby (Lady? I couldn't tell) is a) an awesome group name, and b) a pretty great performance. Why couldn't we see more of either of them? Because we have the drama of The Dreamers, with Rocker Mary pissing off everyone else in her group. Rocker Mary looks like she's going to a job interview in her outfit. What the heck. They're singing some Fleetwood Mac and it is just downright offensive. Amazingly three of the group members make it through, including Crazy Rocker Mary, so we're lucky enough to get more of her.

So 71 of 96 have made it through to the last round. Everyone is crying and screaming, and with that, group night comes to a close. Final decisions are next week, and before we know it, it will be raining confetti on our winner in May. Don't you love it? See ya next week!