Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Give THIS back...
Hi guys, Lindsay here. I need to apologize to everyone in advance because this blog is going to be all over the place like Paula off her meds. I'm bouncing off the walls with excitement because my husband is coming home tomorrow from a 15 month tour in Afghanistan! I love my hunky hero and seriously thought this day would never come. Wooo!!!
So of course it's only fitting on the night before one of the most exciting days of my life is the night of the "inspirational" song performances leading up to IGFB tomorrow. God. And seriously, you guys, before IGFB was even a twinkle in Nygel Lithgoe's eye, THIS was the definition of an inspirational Idol performance:
For realsies.
Anyway, 10 bucks says David A. is in the pimp spot tonight, because I think Idol Gives F'ing Back gave birth to him a year ago. But up first is Michael singing "Dream On." I really wish so bad I was watching this with Bren because we would totally make a drinking game out of this. Drink every time someone says the word: dream, believe, hope, world, difference, inspire. We'd be wasted by 8:15.
So Gramps comes out sporting another Chuck Bass original that he's layered with his waiter's outfit. Seriously, black vest, white collared shirt? Yikes. This is decent, but not nearly as good as last week. The chorus seems forced, especially when he goes into the falsetto. I completely agree with Randy and Simon, and Michael is now talking back to Randy. MICHAEL. SHHH. No one cares that coming to America was your dream. DRINK!
Up next is Syezzzzsha. After hearing for 20 minutes about how much she misses Ramiele, she starts singing Fan-f'ing-tasia's "Believe"--oh man. The Dawg is not going to feel this, Fantasia was his GIRL. If I'm being honest, Syesha bores the shit out of me, but she really is a very good vocalist. This performance was very good, very controlled, but dayum, Syesha. Way to pick two songs in a row that you know are going to piss off Randy. You suck. Randy tells the truth, which is that she sang it well but didn't connect. Bottom three again? Word.
Jason is singing that ukelele version of "Over the Rainbow" that we've all heard a billion times as of late. I believe more and more every week that he is totally stoned throughout this whole ordeal. Whatever gets you through Jason! By the way, he says the word "dream" four times in his 30 second intro. I'm buzzed already.
Vocally, he is as on point as we've heard him since "Hallelujah" but I'm kind of bored because he sounds exactly like the version of this song he chose to emulate. Also, he is wearing some tight ass pants. Randy tells him he is "blazing, molting hot", but I don't think that is necessarily true. Simon loves it, and I think Jason will escape the bottom three this week. We need him around for 4/20! Vote for Jason!
Please don't make me recap Kristy Lee. Please? Seriously, guys, she looks so white trash all the time. She is rocking the corn chip nail tips and white jeans and giant belt and for real looks like she just rolled up out the closest trailer park. HAAAAAAAAAAAATE. She sings "Anyway" by Martina McBride. If I'm giving KLC credit, because we're nothing if we're not impartial (ha!) she was actually not terrible tonight. Here's hoping she's still in the bottom three anyway. OMG, Eric McCormack, wtf? Will Truman would NEVER clap for Kristy Lee Cook. NEVER.
Side note, tonight's theme should have been "When Paula's Boobs Attack!" Put em away, Abdul.
Up next is David Cook. He gets two yays from me right off the bat: a yay for sticking with the no greasy bang hairdo and a yay for not bullshitting about dreaming and inspiring in his intro. He's singing "Innocent" by Our Lady Peace and I'm not loving this. In fact, to distract myself from the not good performance this is becoming, I'm going to study David's jacket because that shit is mystifying. What the hayell?? I'm waiting for David A. to pop out of one of the GIANT pockets on that thing.
OMG DAVID, SERIOUSLY. NO YOU DID NOT FLASH YOUR PALM TO THE CAMERA WITH "GIVE BACK" WRITTEN ON IT. WHY? WHYYYYY? Randy tells him it fell short and wasn't his best, which, true, and Simon tells him he thinks he was pompous during it. I would disagree with that up until the barfness moment when he flashed his palm. As a positive, David has learned to take criticism much better. I'm still rooting for him.
Carly comes out and does Queen's "The Show Must Go On" and basically delivers a total bottom three worthy performance. She totally loses control of the vocals like a billlion times, her voice is cracking and alternates between flat and sharp in this whole thing, and it's basically kind of a mess. And that's coming from someone who has been rooting for her these past few weeks. Also, please GOD someone get this girl a better stylist. Randy tells her it was "just okay", which I'm inclined to disagree with as I didn't even think it was okay. Simon nails it when he tells her she oversang it and lost control. Dammit, Carly.
OK, I lost my 10 bucks because Archuleta wasn't in the pimp spot, but Brooke is basically his female counterpart, so I should at least get five bucks. He chooses Robbie Williams' "Angels" and all I can hear in my head now is the lousy ass Jessica Simpson remake of this song. David's at the piano tonight, which is nice, I forgot he played. He starts out a bit rocky in the beginning but he picks it up towards the middle and definitely finishes better than he started. Randy's like all over him about how this was da bomb and the hott or whatever it is that Randy says, but I'm (again) more inclined to agree with Simon. Best song choice, not his best vocal of all time.
EWWWWWW...please tell me you guys saw that little girl holding the poster with David's face on it and the words "Lick Those Lips!" OH. MA. GAWD. Hands down, grossest poster ever and I'm sure you'd see gross-ass posters at, like a Poison concert. Like Bret Michaels can read.
Anyway, the pimp spot is Brooke. She's singing "You've Got a Friend", and let me just take a minute to pause this because I want to be able to fast forward during her inevitable back talk. I love James Taylor so much. I wonder if he'll give back to IGFB. Okay, there is nothing original about this performance, and it is totally not pimp-spot worthy. Not that any of them really were, Idol Gives F'ing Back sucks so hard. BOO. I love it when Randy says "I wasn't mad", I don't know why. I'm crazy. Oh my God, Idol DOES give back! There's hot-ass Luke! WOOOOO!
Thoughts on tonight--I hated it. Bottom three will be Carly, probably Syesha and hopefully Kristy Lee, but I don't even know any more. It's so hard to tell who was really bad through this crap. In the spirit of giving back, Bren will blog the rest of the week, at some point, because she is awesome. We can't promise when the recaps of Wednesday and Thursday will be up, but they'll be there at some point. Cheers!
So of course it's only fitting on the night before one of the most exciting days of my life is the night of the "inspirational" song performances leading up to IGFB tomorrow. God. And seriously, you guys, before IGFB was even a twinkle in Nygel Lithgoe's eye, THIS was the definition of an inspirational Idol performance:
For realsies.
Anyway, 10 bucks says David A. is in the pimp spot tonight, because I think Idol Gives F'ing Back gave birth to him a year ago. But up first is Michael singing "Dream On." I really wish so bad I was watching this with Bren because we would totally make a drinking game out of this. Drink every time someone says the word: dream, believe, hope, world, difference, inspire. We'd be wasted by 8:15.
So Gramps comes out sporting another Chuck Bass original that he's layered with his waiter's outfit. Seriously, black vest, white collared shirt? Yikes. This is decent, but not nearly as good as last week. The chorus seems forced, especially when he goes into the falsetto. I completely agree with Randy and Simon, and Michael is now talking back to Randy. MICHAEL. SHHH. No one cares that coming to America was your dream. DRINK!
Up next is Syezzzzsha. After hearing for 20 minutes about how much she misses Ramiele, she starts singing Fan-f'ing-tasia's "Believe"--oh man. The Dawg is not going to feel this, Fantasia was his GIRL. If I'm being honest, Syesha bores the shit out of me, but she really is a very good vocalist. This performance was very good, very controlled, but dayum, Syesha. Way to pick two songs in a row that you know are going to piss off Randy. You suck. Randy tells the truth, which is that she sang it well but didn't connect. Bottom three again? Word.
Jason is singing that ukelele version of "Over the Rainbow" that we've all heard a billion times as of late. I believe more and more every week that he is totally stoned throughout this whole ordeal. Whatever gets you through Jason! By the way, he says the word "dream" four times in his 30 second intro. I'm buzzed already.
Vocally, he is as on point as we've heard him since "Hallelujah" but I'm kind of bored because he sounds exactly like the version of this song he chose to emulate. Also, he is wearing some tight ass pants. Randy tells him he is "blazing, molting hot", but I don't think that is necessarily true. Simon loves it, and I think Jason will escape the bottom three this week. We need him around for 4/20! Vote for Jason!
Please don't make me recap Kristy Lee. Please? Seriously, guys, she looks so white trash all the time. She is rocking the corn chip nail tips and white jeans and giant belt and for real looks like she just rolled up out the closest trailer park. HAAAAAAAAAAAATE. She sings "Anyway" by Martina McBride. If I'm giving KLC credit, because we're nothing if we're not impartial (ha!) she was actually not terrible tonight. Here's hoping she's still in the bottom three anyway. OMG, Eric McCormack, wtf? Will Truman would NEVER clap for Kristy Lee Cook. NEVER.
Side note, tonight's theme should have been "When Paula's Boobs Attack!" Put em away, Abdul.
Up next is David Cook. He gets two yays from me right off the bat: a yay for sticking with the no greasy bang hairdo and a yay for not bullshitting about dreaming and inspiring in his intro. He's singing "Innocent" by Our Lady Peace and I'm not loving this. In fact, to distract myself from the not good performance this is becoming, I'm going to study David's jacket because that shit is mystifying. What the hayell?? I'm waiting for David A. to pop out of one of the GIANT pockets on that thing.
OMG DAVID, SERIOUSLY. NO YOU DID NOT FLASH YOUR PALM TO THE CAMERA WITH "GIVE BACK" WRITTEN ON IT. WHY? WHYYYYY? Randy tells him it fell short and wasn't his best, which, true, and Simon tells him he thinks he was pompous during it. I would disagree with that up until the barfness moment when he flashed his palm. As a positive, David has learned to take criticism much better. I'm still rooting for him.
Carly comes out and does Queen's "The Show Must Go On" and basically delivers a total bottom three worthy performance. She totally loses control of the vocals like a billlion times, her voice is cracking and alternates between flat and sharp in this whole thing, and it's basically kind of a mess. And that's coming from someone who has been rooting for her these past few weeks. Also, please GOD someone get this girl a better stylist. Randy tells her it was "just okay", which I'm inclined to disagree with as I didn't even think it was okay. Simon nails it when he tells her she oversang it and lost control. Dammit, Carly.
OK, I lost my 10 bucks because Archuleta wasn't in the pimp spot, but Brooke is basically his female counterpart, so I should at least get five bucks. He chooses Robbie Williams' "Angels" and all I can hear in my head now is the lousy ass Jessica Simpson remake of this song. David's at the piano tonight, which is nice, I forgot he played. He starts out a bit rocky in the beginning but he picks it up towards the middle and definitely finishes better than he started. Randy's like all over him about how this was da bomb and the hott or whatever it is that Randy says, but I'm (again) more inclined to agree with Simon. Best song choice, not his best vocal of all time.
EWWWWWW...please tell me you guys saw that little girl holding the poster with David's face on it and the words "Lick Those Lips!" OH. MA. GAWD. Hands down, grossest poster ever and I'm sure you'd see gross-ass posters at, like a Poison concert. Like Bret Michaels can read.
Anyway, the pimp spot is Brooke. She's singing "You've Got a Friend", and let me just take a minute to pause this because I want to be able to fast forward during her inevitable back talk. I love James Taylor so much. I wonder if he'll give back to IGFB. Okay, there is nothing original about this performance, and it is totally not pimp-spot worthy. Not that any of them really were, Idol Gives F'ing Back sucks so hard. BOO. I love it when Randy says "I wasn't mad", I don't know why. I'm crazy. Oh my God, Idol DOES give back! There's hot-ass Luke! WOOOOO!
Thoughts on tonight--I hated it. Bottom three will be Carly, probably Syesha and hopefully Kristy Lee, but I don't even know any more. It's so hard to tell who was really bad through this crap. In the spirit of giving back, Bren will blog the rest of the week, at some point, because she is awesome. We can't promise when the recaps of Wednesday and Thursday will be up, but they'll be there at some point. Cheers!
Idol Madness: Kat vs. Ruuuuuuuuuuuben
Meatloaf with Katharine McPhee - It's All Coming Back To Me
VS.
Ruuuuuuuuuuben Studdard – Sorry 2004
Brenna here with the final match up of Idol Madness, round 1. Sorry for being a blog delinquent this week, kids. I promise round 2 won’t take nearly as much time!
Let me begin by clarifying. As Lindsay said yesterday, we are talking worst performances. We’re also bending the rules a bit on this one. These two performances meant nothing to the competition – Katharine’s coming in the season 5 finale, and Ruuuuuuuuuuben’s being his first single after being crowned season 2 Idol. But if we’re looking at the worst performances in Idol history, you’ve got to include these two.
The season 5 finale was a hot mess. You had the Soul Patrol, and Mary J. Blige practically pushing Elliott off the stage during their “duet,” the Hoff crying in the audience, but nothing compared to the strange spectacle that was Katharine’s duet with Meatloaf. First of all, how did Katharine pull that straw? I know Meatloaf is a legend and all, but really? Meatloaf? And Katharine? The whole time it looks like Meatloaf wants to eat Kat, and Kat’s doing this diva bullshit, and I realize Meatloaf had medical problems or something but he’s shaking and offkey the whole time, and am I supposed to believe that Kat was in love with Meatloaf? Guys, it was just WEIRD. Like, train wreck weird.
Then you have Ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuben. I admit, I was a Claymate in season 2 and was pissed when Ruuuuuuuuuuuben won, but I will tell you right now Ruuuuuuuuuuuuben has an amazing voice and he deserved to win. He did not deserve this song. This song with R. Kelly-level terrible lyrics, like “It's like I forgot your gift, on 02 14 03. (Damn. So sorry!)” This song where Ruuuuuuuuuuben is apologizing for hanging out in strip clubs and hot tubs and for THE ENTIRE YEAR 2004. Ruuuuuuuuuuben, how about saying you’re sorry for “Sorry 2004”? Please?
As bad as Ruuuuuuuuuuuben’s song was, I suppose the performance itself isn’t that awful, so I have to give him a pass. Meatloaf and Katharine, we’ll do anything for love, but we won’t do that. You’re through to the next round.
I promise the Idol bracket will be updated tomorrow and posted for those needing visual aid. I’ve been distracted by finding things like this on youtube.
VS.
Ruuuuuuuuuuben Studdard – Sorry 2004
Brenna here with the final match up of Idol Madness, round 1. Sorry for being a blog delinquent this week, kids. I promise round 2 won’t take nearly as much time!
Let me begin by clarifying. As Lindsay said yesterday, we are talking worst performances. We’re also bending the rules a bit on this one. These two performances meant nothing to the competition – Katharine’s coming in the season 5 finale, and Ruuuuuuuuuuben’s being his first single after being crowned season 2 Idol. But if we’re looking at the worst performances in Idol history, you’ve got to include these two.
The season 5 finale was a hot mess. You had the Soul Patrol, and Mary J. Blige practically pushing Elliott off the stage during their “duet,” the Hoff crying in the audience, but nothing compared to the strange spectacle that was Katharine’s duet with Meatloaf. First of all, how did Katharine pull that straw? I know Meatloaf is a legend and all, but really? Meatloaf? And Katharine? The whole time it looks like Meatloaf wants to eat Kat, and Kat’s doing this diva bullshit, and I realize Meatloaf had medical problems or something but he’s shaking and offkey the whole time, and am I supposed to believe that Kat was in love with Meatloaf? Guys, it was just WEIRD. Like, train wreck weird.
Then you have Ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuben. I admit, I was a Claymate in season 2 and was pissed when Ruuuuuuuuuuuben won, but I will tell you right now Ruuuuuuuuuuuuben has an amazing voice and he deserved to win. He did not deserve this song. This song with R. Kelly-level terrible lyrics, like “It's like I forgot your gift, on 02 14 03. (Damn. So sorry!)” This song where Ruuuuuuuuuuben is apologizing for hanging out in strip clubs and hot tubs and for THE ENTIRE YEAR 2004. Ruuuuuuuuuuben, how about saying you’re sorry for “Sorry 2004”? Please?
As bad as Ruuuuuuuuuuuben’s song was, I suppose the performance itself isn’t that awful, so I have to give him a pass. Meatloaf and Katharine, we’ll do anything for love, but we won’t do that. You’re through to the next round.
I promise the Idol bracket will be updated tomorrow and posted for those needing visual aid. I’ve been distracted by finding things like this on youtube.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Idol Madness: Ryan vs. Sundance
Ryan Starr, "Last Dance", season one
vs.
Sundance Head "Nights in White Satin", season six
So, for the Idol Madness bracket of Worst Performance Ever, we never actually said worst VOCAL performance. To us, performance means the whole package. Vocals, stage presence, wardrobe--everything. We're explaining this because some of you may be thinking, Ryan Starr? But wasn't she pretty good? Well, friends, Ryan Starr may have not had the worst voice this show has ever seen, but dear GOD did she have the worst personal style and presentation. Take exhibit A: her "Last Dance" performance. Tranny make-up? Check. Choice of crappy Donna Summer song? Check. Black and white shredded tops layered over each other? Check. Mini-skirt that looks like a pink ace bandage accessorized with not one, but TWO belts? Got it. Also, I'm pretty sure at one point, the cameraman was totally trying to see up her skirt. Klassy, Ryan.
On the total opposite end of the skank spectrum, we have Jason "Sundance" Head. Sundance appeared to be somewhat of an early front-runner during the audition process and I personally thought while he wouldn't be the winner, he would be a shoo-in for the top 12 and definitely beat out Sanjaya. Cut to the last week of the top 24, and Sundance chooses "Nights in White Satin", and all we have to say about this is...wow. I mean, look at him. It was so bad, his hair apparently is trying to escape from his head. The weird diction and over-enunciation aside, I totally thought the dude was going to stroke out in the middle of the performance. So, thanks for that, man. It's your fault we had to deal with Sanjaya for five more weeks.
This is a tough call, but because I'm a catty bitch, I'm giving the round to Ryan. Let's see her battle it out with Carmen in the Elite Eight. On Friday, Bren's blogging the best round from the sweet sixteen, make sure you check it out. We'll also update the bracket on Friday afternoon for your viewing pleasure. Stay tuned!
vs.
Sundance Head "Nights in White Satin", season six
So, for the Idol Madness bracket of Worst Performance Ever, we never actually said worst VOCAL performance. To us, performance means the whole package. Vocals, stage presence, wardrobe--everything. We're explaining this because some of you may be thinking, Ryan Starr? But wasn't she pretty good? Well, friends, Ryan Starr may have not had the worst voice this show has ever seen, but dear GOD did she have the worst personal style and presentation. Take exhibit A: her "Last Dance" performance. Tranny make-up? Check. Choice of crappy Donna Summer song? Check. Black and white shredded tops layered over each other? Check. Mini-skirt that looks like a pink ace bandage accessorized with not one, but TWO belts? Got it. Also, I'm pretty sure at one point, the cameraman was totally trying to see up her skirt. Klassy, Ryan.
On the total opposite end of the skank spectrum, we have Jason "Sundance" Head. Sundance appeared to be somewhat of an early front-runner during the audition process and I personally thought while he wouldn't be the winner, he would be a shoo-in for the top 12 and definitely beat out Sanjaya. Cut to the last week of the top 24, and Sundance chooses "Nights in White Satin", and all we have to say about this is...wow. I mean, look at him. It was so bad, his hair apparently is trying to escape from his head. The weird diction and over-enunciation aside, I totally thought the dude was going to stroke out in the middle of the performance. So, thanks for that, man. It's your fault we had to deal with Sanjaya for five more weeks.
This is a tough call, but because I'm a catty bitch, I'm giving the round to Ryan. Let's see her battle it out with Carmen in the Elite Eight. On Friday, Bren's blogging the best round from the sweet sixteen, make sure you check it out. We'll also update the bracket on Friday afternoon for your viewing pleasure. Stay tuned!
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
I got Jesus, yes I do! I got Jesus, how 'bout you?
Hi kids, Brenna here with the results show recap. Forgive me if my attention seems elsewhere. I watched the Pens kick some Flyers ass tonight and clinch the Atlantic Division. My priorities get split about this time of year. I'd probably be ok with KLC winning Idol if it meant the Pens won the Cup.
Anyways. The show kicks off with what may be the worst group sing we’ve ever seen. (Maybe we should do that bracket next?) The Idols are singing “9 to 5,” and David Cook looks like he genuinely wants to cry. People, they’re making him dance, and it’s just tragic. I find myself watching the entire song, because it’s amusing me to no end.
The recap shows us how bad Ramiele and KLC were, and how awesome Michael Johns was. Ryan amps up the pregnant pause scale to 11 and gives the Idols their results. Michael – safe. David A. – safe. Carly – safe. (How scared does David A. look sitting in between those two?!)
Call-ins. Predictable as usual. I’m amused by caller #5, Kristen, who says she’ll give Idol Gives F’ing Back $5000 for a date with the Cookster. Honey, you don’t need to give them money. Just go out to a club dressed all slutty and I’m sure he’ll find you and pick you up. (Because in my mind, David C. is Barney from "How I Met Your Mother," but without the suit or Neil Patrick Harris level of awesome.)
Apparently someone won that Next American Band show, and Nigel is trying to pimp them on Idol. I don’t care enough to waste text on them.
The Ford commercial reached a new low.
Back to results. David C. – safe. (And deciding to return to the combover. David, honey, you looked really good last night. Don’t ruin it.) Ramiele – to the stools, followed by KLC.
We now get an Idol alumni reunion with a Nashville theme. Bucky looks trashier than while he was on the show. When did Phil Stacey become Chris Daughtry 2.0? And I have no opinion on Bo cuz I was in Greece that year.
Results. Syesha – safe. Jason – safe. Brooke – to the stools. Huh? Really?
Anyways. The show kicks off with what may be the worst group sing we’ve ever seen. (Maybe we should do that bracket next?) The Idols are singing “9 to 5,” and David Cook looks like he genuinely wants to cry. People, they’re making him dance, and it’s just tragic. I find myself watching the entire song, because it’s amusing me to no end.
The recap shows us how bad Ramiele and KLC were, and how awesome Michael Johns was. Ryan amps up the pregnant pause scale to 11 and gives the Idols their results. Michael – safe. David A. – safe. Carly – safe. (How scared does David A. look sitting in between those two?!)
Call-ins. Predictable as usual. I’m amused by caller #5, Kristen, who says she’ll give Idol Gives F’ing Back $5000 for a date with the Cookster. Honey, you don’t need to give them money. Just go out to a club dressed all slutty and I’m sure he’ll find you and pick you up. (Because in my mind, David C. is Barney from "How I Met Your Mother," but without the suit or Neil Patrick Harris level of awesome.)
Apparently someone won that Next American Band show, and Nigel is trying to pimp them on Idol. I don’t care enough to waste text on them.
The Ford commercial reached a new low.
Back to results. David C. – safe. (And deciding to return to the combover. David, honey, you looked really good last night. Don’t ruin it.) Ramiele – to the stools, followed by KLC.
We now get an Idol alumni reunion with a Nashville theme. Bucky looks trashier than while he was on the show. When did Phil Stacey become Chris Daughtry 2.0? And I have no opinion on Bo cuz I was in Greece that year.
Results. Syesha – safe. Jason – safe. Brooke – to the stools. Huh? Really?
Errr? Brooke?
Time for Dolly’s performance, and damn. I mean, I know she’s Dolly Parton and all, but for Dolly that was even a crazy outfit. It’s like she’s trying to be formal on top, but she’s got these leggings on, so just in case she needs to go do yoga, it’s a quick transition. She sings a song about having Jesus and gravity. I’m really confused about the connection between the two, but then I look up the lyrics:
'Cause I've got
Somethin' lifting me up (Jesus)
Somethin' holding me down (gravity)
Somethin' to give me wings and (Jesus)
Somethin' to keep my feet on the ground (gravity)
Ok, that makes sense now. You know what I do love about Dolly? She seemed genuinely excited that the kids sang her songs and (mostly) did well. I enjoy her.
The bottom 3 is back at centerstage, and Brooke is rambling again. I love her but someone needs to tell her to shut up sometimes. Ryan sends her back to safety. Ramiele is already crying, and KLC looks like a pro at this. Ramiele is sent home and completely loses her marbles. The rest of the girls come out to comfort her, leaving the boys on the couches. I think Jason is looking for a bong, David A. is trying to avoid getting beat up again by the big boys, and David C. is clearly begging Michael to be his wingman at the bar later. And we’re done.
Lindsay & I will tag-team Idol Gives F’ing Back next week, since no one in their right mind should be expected to sit through 2.5 hours of that crap. Apparently the Mannings will be involved, leaving me wondering if there’s anything Peyton won’t promote.
'Cause I've got
Somethin' lifting me up (Jesus)
Somethin' holding me down (gravity)
Somethin' to give me wings and (Jesus)
Somethin' to keep my feet on the ground (gravity)
Ok, that makes sense now. You know what I do love about Dolly? She seemed genuinely excited that the kids sang her songs and (mostly) did well. I enjoy her.
The bottom 3 is back at centerstage, and Brooke is rambling again. I love her but someone needs to tell her to shut up sometimes. Ryan sends her back to safety. Ramiele is already crying, and KLC looks like a pro at this. Ramiele is sent home and completely loses her marbles. The rest of the girls come out to comfort her, leaving the boys on the couches. I think Jason is looking for a bong, David A. is trying to avoid getting beat up again by the big boys, and David C. is clearly begging Michael to be his wingman at the bar later. And we’re done.
Lindsay & I will tag-team Idol Gives F’ing Back next week, since no one in their right mind should be expected to sit through 2.5 hours of that crap. Apparently the Mannings will be involved, leaving me wondering if there’s anything Peyton won’t promote.
Idol Madness: Luke vs. Camille
Luke Menard, "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go", season seven
vs.
Camille Velasco, "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road", season three
Sorry it's taking us close to forever to do the Idol madness blogs, guys. The Elite Eight of worst performances ever is almost complete, and we'll be posting the updated bracket, since we've had some requests for that. We have a feeling the Final Four is going to be goooood. Anyway, tonight's match-up is between season seven contestant and token hottie Luke Menard (take off your shirt!) and season three's Camille Velasco.
So, anyone who watches this show can expect to be inundated with quite a bit of cheese. I mean, the group numbers? The FORD! commercials? Idol Gives F'ing Back? We all know what the show's about, and we watch and love it anyway. It was only fitting that on 80's night during season seven's top 24, Luke Menard would bust out the cheesiest of cheese, so wrong it's right, "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go", right? We have to say, this was one time where being wrong was so not right, and from the first "buh duh bum" notes of this, you could tell it was going to be a disaster. As soon as he couldn't hit that hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh, we knew our precious Luke wouldn't make the top 12. Bren and I were hoping so bad he'd get into the top 12 and be able to pick off two of the weaker of the herd to make it on the tour, but alas, we'll never get to yell at Luke to take it off in person.
However, that debacle, as cringe-worthy as it may have been, pales in comparison to poor, disastrous Camille Velasco singing "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road". I mean, GOD. If you guys don't remember this, you really need to watch the link here. The video is not that great, but all you need is the sound. These kids had the opportunity to choose songs from ELTON JOHN'S song book and Camille picks one of the most difficult songs to sing. The AAAAAAHaaaaahAAAAAAH part on the chorus is tough enough to pull off, let alone the complex range of the entire rest of the song. High notes, low notes, and they all sounded like ass. We're giving this round to Camille, because this was a monstrosity, and Luke is just so pretty!
Make sure you guys read the last round of the sweet 16, because it's a going to be a good one!
vs.
Camille Velasco, "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road", season three
Sorry it's taking us close to forever to do the Idol madness blogs, guys. The Elite Eight of worst performances ever is almost complete, and we'll be posting the updated bracket, since we've had some requests for that. We have a feeling the Final Four is going to be goooood. Anyway, tonight's match-up is between season seven contestant and token hottie Luke Menard (take off your shirt!) and season three's Camille Velasco.
So, anyone who watches this show can expect to be inundated with quite a bit of cheese. I mean, the group numbers? The FORD! commercials? Idol Gives F'ing Back? We all know what the show's about, and we watch and love it anyway. It was only fitting that on 80's night during season seven's top 24, Luke Menard would bust out the cheesiest of cheese, so wrong it's right, "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go", right? We have to say, this was one time where being wrong was so not right, and from the first "buh duh bum" notes of this, you could tell it was going to be a disaster. As soon as he couldn't hit that hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh, we knew our precious Luke wouldn't make the top 12. Bren and I were hoping so bad he'd get into the top 12 and be able to pick off two of the weaker of the herd to make it on the tour, but alas, we'll never get to yell at Luke to take it off in person.
However, that debacle, as cringe-worthy as it may have been, pales in comparison to poor, disastrous Camille Velasco singing "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road". I mean, GOD. If you guys don't remember this, you really need to watch the link here. The video is not that great, but all you need is the sound. These kids had the opportunity to choose songs from ELTON JOHN'S song book and Camille picks one of the most difficult songs to sing. The AAAAAAHaaaaahAAAAAAH part on the chorus is tough enough to pull off, let alone the complex range of the entire rest of the song. High notes, low notes, and they all sounded like ass. We're giving this round to Camille, because this was a monstrosity, and Luke is just so pretty!
Make sure you guys read the last round of the sweet 16, because it's a going to be a good one!
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
And we rely on each other, ah ah.
Hey guys, Lindsay here, and I'm freakin' psyched that Dolly Parton is the mentor tonight. Although I'm not really sure that I love Dolly Parton's SONGS, you have to admit that this bitch is FIERCE. For serious. And also, let's celebrate that the show is finally down to an hour. YAAAAAY!
After Ryan makes an incredibly lame April Fools' Day joke that fools no one, it's on to the good stuff. How hilarious is it that Dolly wrote "9 to 5" by clicking her acrylic nails!? HAAAA. See, it's shit like this that makes her awesome. I bet she is the greatest at the shit-talk. I would love to gossip with Dolly Parton. Remind me to tell you guys about her brother some time. Our readers in North Carolina know what I'm talking about. Just Google "Randy Parton" and you'll see what I mean. We spent a half hour at work one day watching the press conference he gave and we swore he was drunk when he did it. Awesome.
Anyway, Brooke is up first, singing "Jolene" and I'm glad to see she's got her guitar. I think she's creepy when she doesn't have an instrument. The song is okay, she's a little flat in the beginning, and the song kind of sounds like if KT Tunstall tried to remake Dolly Parton. It's nice to see them have the interaction with the music and the backup singers. And, I don't really love this.
Also, is it me, or is Brooke getting a touch annoying? I hate judge backtalk, because I feel like if you're talking, even just saying THANK YOU, and OKAY over and over, it means you're not LISTENING, and most of the time the judges know what they are talking about. Paula, when she's lucid, is actually a decent judge. BROOKE--be seen and not heard. Well, only be heard when you're singing and in your dumb interview packages they make you do. Thanks.
David C. is going second and he has to trot out the speech Chris Daughtry had to give two years ago when he didn't credit Live for his version of "Walk the Line." Blah blah blah, does ANYONE really care that some random group called Doxology did that version of Eleanor Rigby? I didn't think so.
ALSO--important news. David FINALLY got a stylist who did something with that hair, and this is the first time I've looked at him and not thought he looked like a skeevy pervert. I think it was those greasy bangs hiding half his face that gave me the vibe, and he actually looks normal and nice tonight. He's singing "Little Sparrow" and does a great job with it. It's not my favorite of his performances, but he's still consistently good, and he's one of the only ones I actually look forward to. Work it, David.
Speaking of looking forward to people, here's someone who does not fit in that category. Ramiele is singing a song that I don't know and judging by the way she starts it out, I thought this was going to be a lot better. What in the HAY-ELL is on her feet??? She is all over the place vocally, and I'm bored by her. She always looks like she is scared to death. The judges don't like it either and Simon makes a cruise ship reference, which is one of the first we've heard this season I believe. We'll all have forgotten this by 9:00.
Jason is next, and you can so tell that Dolly loves him. You can also tell how much she loves her own music watching her sing along with Jason. It's the cutest. Call me, Dolly! Jason's singing "Travelin' Through" and I really like him this week. I think he looks really natural and his voice sounds great. I've been a fan of Jason's since the top 24, and he's had some rough weeks, but I like him tonight. Shockingly, I agree with everything Paula says. Maybe that Excedrin I took for a headache a few hours ago was one of her downers, I don't know. Simon hated it, but I was a fan.
I don't know if it's a good or bad thing that I didn't really take ANY notes during Carly's song. It either means I was totally engaged or totally bored. Watching it back, I really liked it. I've been liking Carly more and more each week. But GOD, I completely agree with Simon on her effing outfit. CARLY. Red riding pants/leggings/stirrup pants, whatever tucked into boots is NOT GOOD. I'm realizing that our blog is kind of a hybrid of TV Without Pity and Go Fug Yourself, so hope you guys are okay with that, haha.
We come back from commercial to find Ryan hanging out in the crowd, and Jon Heder's cousin is apparently in the audience tonight. Did you guys see that guy!? I totally thought it was Napolean Dynamite. Anyway, David A.'s dad has picked out "Smoky Mountain Memories" for David tonight. Of course, another ballad. David. COME ON. You can't really deny that this kid is talented, and I'd like to see him go far, but you gotta give us something to go on. He nails the last power note, so good on him, and the judges all love it. Paula apparently had "glorious" on her word of the day calendar, since she's now used it to describe Carly AND David. David is going to be safe for a while, so I really hope he breaks away from ballads next week.
I can't even talk about Kristy Lee after last week's disgusting display. She's probably going to nail it this week since it's country. She's singing "Coat of Many Colors", which I don't know, and she's dressed in something reminiscent of what Uli Herzner on season three of Project Runway would have designed. Biff, BMiller, am I right? That's what I thought. This is seriously the weirdest song ever. It's about being poor and still being happy and able to work it even though you're wearing a coat your mama made out of like a hundred other coats, and I'm totally bored and I hate Kristy Lee. Wouldn't it be sweet, sweet poetic justice if she got the boot during country week?
The award for the most random and least relevant audience member of Idol EVER goes to Vanna White. VANNA WHITE. At least the Hoff is musically famous in Germany, LOL. You guys, I cannot believe Syesha. What in the HAYELL is she thinking, taking on "I Will Always Love You", seriously? I really hope she doesn't Whitney it all up. She's sitting on the piano, which does nothing for me, and the beginning of the song gives me hope. She's not doing any crazy Whitney runs all over it, and her voice sounds really strong and good.
Oh my, and then we get to the big Whitney-fied chorus. I'm surprised they didn't stick her in the pimp spot with this, but I'm glad they didn't. Also, that looooooooooooooooooooong ass note at the end was super self-indulgent and not that good. First half of the song: 8; second half of the song: 5. BOO.
I'd like to point out that it's 8:57, we're in commercials and we still have not gotten to Gramps yet. Fox needs to get their shit together and figure out how to make an hour long show actually last ONE HOUR. Anyway, so Michael comes out in the pimp spot, dressed like Chuck Bass from Gossip Girl. I'm well aware I referenced him looking like Rufus Humphrey from Gossip Girl a few posts ago, which he still does, but I have to bring up the outfit. Nice scarf, Michael. Snicker. Anyway, he is totally rocking out here and I'm really enjoying this. Gramps is kinda hot! Vocally, I think it's his best yet, and he gets raves from all the judges. Simon echoes what's in my head, also saying it's the best we've heard from him. Woo!
So for me, best of the night goes to Gramps, maybe Carly and David C., who also wins most improved makeover. Middle of the pack are David A., Brooke and Jason. My ideal bottom three would be Ramiele, Syesha and Kristy Lee, but we'll see if that actually happens. Simon wasn't feeling Jason, so America might not either. Bren will be here tomorrow with your results! And next week is Idol Gives F'ing Back. Cheers!
After Ryan makes an incredibly lame April Fools' Day joke that fools no one, it's on to the good stuff. How hilarious is it that Dolly wrote "9 to 5" by clicking her acrylic nails!? HAAAA. See, it's shit like this that makes her awesome. I bet she is the greatest at the shit-talk. I would love to gossip with Dolly Parton. Remind me to tell you guys about her brother some time. Our readers in North Carolina know what I'm talking about. Just Google "Randy Parton" and you'll see what I mean. We spent a half hour at work one day watching the press conference he gave and we swore he was drunk when he did it. Awesome.
Anyway, Brooke is up first, singing "Jolene" and I'm glad to see she's got her guitar. I think she's creepy when she doesn't have an instrument. The song is okay, she's a little flat in the beginning, and the song kind of sounds like if KT Tunstall tried to remake Dolly Parton. It's nice to see them have the interaction with the music and the backup singers. And, I don't really love this.
Also, is it me, or is Brooke getting a touch annoying? I hate judge backtalk, because I feel like if you're talking, even just saying THANK YOU, and OKAY over and over, it means you're not LISTENING, and most of the time the judges know what they are talking about. Paula, when she's lucid, is actually a decent judge. BROOKE--be seen and not heard. Well, only be heard when you're singing and in your dumb interview packages they make you do. Thanks.
David C. is going second and he has to trot out the speech Chris Daughtry had to give two years ago when he didn't credit Live for his version of "Walk the Line." Blah blah blah, does ANYONE really care that some random group called Doxology did that version of Eleanor Rigby? I didn't think so.
ALSO--important news. David FINALLY got a stylist who did something with that hair, and this is the first time I've looked at him and not thought he looked like a skeevy pervert. I think it was those greasy bangs hiding half his face that gave me the vibe, and he actually looks normal and nice tonight. He's singing "Little Sparrow" and does a great job with it. It's not my favorite of his performances, but he's still consistently good, and he's one of the only ones I actually look forward to. Work it, David.
Speaking of looking forward to people, here's someone who does not fit in that category. Ramiele is singing a song that I don't know and judging by the way she starts it out, I thought this was going to be a lot better. What in the HAY-ELL is on her feet??? She is all over the place vocally, and I'm bored by her. She always looks like she is scared to death. The judges don't like it either and Simon makes a cruise ship reference, which is one of the first we've heard this season I believe. We'll all have forgotten this by 9:00.
Jason is next, and you can so tell that Dolly loves him. You can also tell how much she loves her own music watching her sing along with Jason. It's the cutest. Call me, Dolly! Jason's singing "Travelin' Through" and I really like him this week. I think he looks really natural and his voice sounds great. I've been a fan of Jason's since the top 24, and he's had some rough weeks, but I like him tonight. Shockingly, I agree with everything Paula says. Maybe that Excedrin I took for a headache a few hours ago was one of her downers, I don't know. Simon hated it, but I was a fan.
I don't know if it's a good or bad thing that I didn't really take ANY notes during Carly's song. It either means I was totally engaged or totally bored. Watching it back, I really liked it. I've been liking Carly more and more each week. But GOD, I completely agree with Simon on her effing outfit. CARLY. Red riding pants/leggings/stirrup pants, whatever tucked into boots is NOT GOOD. I'm realizing that our blog is kind of a hybrid of TV Without Pity and Go Fug Yourself, so hope you guys are okay with that, haha.
We come back from commercial to find Ryan hanging out in the crowd, and Jon Heder's cousin is apparently in the audience tonight. Did you guys see that guy!? I totally thought it was Napolean Dynamite. Anyway, David A.'s dad has picked out "Smoky Mountain Memories" for David tonight. Of course, another ballad. David. COME ON. You can't really deny that this kid is talented, and I'd like to see him go far, but you gotta give us something to go on. He nails the last power note, so good on him, and the judges all love it. Paula apparently had "glorious" on her word of the day calendar, since she's now used it to describe Carly AND David. David is going to be safe for a while, so I really hope he breaks away from ballads next week.
I can't even talk about Kristy Lee after last week's disgusting display. She's probably going to nail it this week since it's country. She's singing "Coat of Many Colors", which I don't know, and she's dressed in something reminiscent of what Uli Herzner on season three of Project Runway would have designed. Biff, BMiller, am I right? That's what I thought. This is seriously the weirdest song ever. It's about being poor and still being happy and able to work it even though you're wearing a coat your mama made out of like a hundred other coats, and I'm totally bored and I hate Kristy Lee. Wouldn't it be sweet, sweet poetic justice if she got the boot during country week?
The award for the most random and least relevant audience member of Idol EVER goes to Vanna White. VANNA WHITE. At least the Hoff is musically famous in Germany, LOL. You guys, I cannot believe Syesha. What in the HAYELL is she thinking, taking on "I Will Always Love You", seriously? I really hope she doesn't Whitney it all up. She's sitting on the piano, which does nothing for me, and the beginning of the song gives me hope. She's not doing any crazy Whitney runs all over it, and her voice sounds really strong and good.
Oh my, and then we get to the big Whitney-fied chorus. I'm surprised they didn't stick her in the pimp spot with this, but I'm glad they didn't. Also, that looooooooooooooooooooong ass note at the end was super self-indulgent and not that good. First half of the song: 8; second half of the song: 5. BOO.
I'd like to point out that it's 8:57, we're in commercials and we still have not gotten to Gramps yet. Fox needs to get their shit together and figure out how to make an hour long show actually last ONE HOUR. Anyway, so Michael comes out in the pimp spot, dressed like Chuck Bass from Gossip Girl. I'm well aware I referenced him looking like Rufus Humphrey from Gossip Girl a few posts ago, which he still does, but I have to bring up the outfit. Nice scarf, Michael. Snicker. Anyway, he is totally rocking out here and I'm really enjoying this. Gramps is kinda hot! Vocally, I think it's his best yet, and he gets raves from all the judges. Simon echoes what's in my head, also saying it's the best we've heard from him. Woo!
So for me, best of the night goes to Gramps, maybe Carly and David C., who also wins most improved makeover. Middle of the pack are David A., Brooke and Jason. My ideal bottom three would be Ramiele, Syesha and Kristy Lee, but we'll see if that actually happens. Simon wasn't feeling Jason, so America might not either. Bren will be here tomorrow with your results! And next week is Idol Gives F'ing Back. Cheers!
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