And we rely on each other, ah ah.

Hey guys, Lindsay here, and I'm freakin' psyched that Dolly Parton is the mentor tonight. Although I'm not really sure that I love Dolly Parton's SONGS, you have to admit that this bitch is FIERCE. For serious. And also, let's celebrate that the show is finally down to an hour. YAAAAAY!

After Ryan makes an incredibly lame April Fools' Day joke that fools no one, it's on to the good stuff. How hilarious is it that Dolly wrote "9 to 5" by clicking her acrylic nails!? HAAAA. See, it's shit like this that makes her awesome. I bet she is the greatest at the shit-talk. I would love to gossip with Dolly Parton. Remind me to tell you guys about her brother some time. Our readers in North Carolina know what I'm talking about. Just Google "Randy Parton" and you'll see what I mean. We spent a half hour at work one day watching the press conference he gave and we swore he was drunk when he did it. Awesome.

Anyway, Brooke is up first, singing "Jolene" and I'm glad to see she's got her guitar. I think she's creepy when she doesn't have an instrument. The song is okay, she's a little flat in the beginning, and the song kind of sounds like if KT Tunstall tried to remake Dolly Parton. It's nice to see them have the interaction with the music and the backup singers. And, I don't really love this.

Also, is it me, or is Brooke getting a touch annoying? I hate judge backtalk, because I feel like if you're talking, even just saying THANK YOU, and OKAY over and over, it means you're not LISTENING, and most of the time the judges know what they are talking about. Paula, when she's lucid, is actually a decent judge. BROOKE--be seen and not heard. Well, only be heard when you're singing and in your dumb interview packages they make you do. Thanks.

David C. is going second and he has to trot out the speech Chris Daughtry had to give two years ago when he didn't credit Live for his version of "Walk the Line." Blah blah blah, does ANYONE really care that some random group called Doxology did that version of Eleanor Rigby? I didn't think so.

ALSO--important news. David FINALLY got a stylist who did something with that hair, and this is the first time I've looked at him and not thought he looked like a skeevy pervert. I think it was those greasy bangs hiding half his face that gave me the vibe, and he actually looks normal and nice tonight. He's singing "Little Sparrow" and does a great job with it. It's not my favorite of his performances, but he's still consistently good, and he's one of the only ones I actually look forward to. Work it, David.

Speaking of looking forward to people, here's someone who does not fit in that category. Ramiele is singing a song that I don't know and judging by the way she starts it out, I thought this was going to be a lot better. What in the HAY-ELL is on her feet??? She is all over the place vocally, and I'm bored by her. She always looks like she is scared to death. The judges don't like it either and Simon makes a cruise ship reference, which is one of the first we've heard this season I believe. We'll all have forgotten this by 9:00.

Jason is next, and you can so tell that Dolly loves him. You can also tell how much she loves her own music watching her sing along with Jason. It's the cutest. Call me, Dolly! Jason's singing "Travelin' Through" and I really like him this week. I think he looks really natural and his voice sounds great. I've been a fan of Jason's since the top 24, and he's had some rough weeks, but I like him tonight. Shockingly, I agree with everything Paula says. Maybe that Excedrin I took for a headache a few hours ago was one of her downers, I don't know. Simon hated it, but I was a fan.

I don't know if it's a good or bad thing that I didn't really take ANY notes during Carly's song. It either means I was totally engaged or totally bored. Watching it back, I really liked it. I've been liking Carly more and more each week. But GOD, I completely agree with Simon on her effing outfit. CARLY. Red riding pants/leggings/stirrup pants, whatever tucked into boots is NOT GOOD. I'm realizing that our blog is kind of a hybrid of TV Without Pity and Go Fug Yourself, so hope you guys are okay with that, haha.

We come back from commercial to find Ryan hanging out in the crowd, and Jon Heder's cousin is apparently in the audience tonight. Did you guys see that guy!? I totally thought it was Napolean Dynamite. Anyway, David A.'s dad has picked out "Smoky Mountain Memories" for David tonight. Of course, another ballad. David. COME ON. You can't really deny that this kid is talented, and I'd like to see him go far, but you gotta give us something to go on. He nails the last power note, so good on him, and the judges all love it. Paula apparently had "glorious" on her word of the day calendar, since she's now used it to describe Carly AND David. David is going to be safe for a while, so I really hope he breaks away from ballads next week.

I can't even talk about Kristy Lee after last week's disgusting display. She's probably going to nail it this week since it's country. She's singing "Coat of Many Colors", which I don't know, and she's dressed in something reminiscent of what Uli Herzner on season three of Project Runway would have designed. Biff, BMiller, am I right? That's what I thought. This is seriously the weirdest song ever. It's about being poor and still being happy and able to work it even though you're wearing a coat your mama made out of like a hundred other coats, and I'm totally bored and I hate Kristy Lee. Wouldn't it be sweet, sweet poetic justice if she got the boot during country week?

The award for the most random and least relevant audience member of Idol EVER goes to Vanna White. VANNA WHITE. At least the Hoff is musically famous in Germany, LOL. You guys, I cannot believe Syesha. What in the HAYELL is she thinking, taking on "I Will Always Love You", seriously? I really hope she doesn't Whitney it all up. She's sitting on the piano, which does nothing for me, and the beginning of the song gives me hope. She's not doing any crazy Whitney runs all over it, and her voice sounds really strong and good.

Oh my, and then we get to the big Whitney-fied chorus. I'm surprised they didn't stick her in the pimp spot with this, but I'm glad they didn't. Also, that looooooooooooooooooooong ass note at the end was super self-indulgent and not that good. First half of the song: 8; second half of the song: 5. BOO.

I'd like to point out that it's 8:57, we're in commercials and we still have not gotten to Gramps yet. Fox needs to get their shit together and figure out how to make an hour long show actually last ONE HOUR. Anyway, so Michael comes out in the pimp spot, dressed like Chuck Bass from Gossip Girl. I'm well aware I referenced him looking like Rufus Humphrey from Gossip Girl a few posts ago, which he still does, but I have to bring up the outfit. Nice scarf, Michael. Snicker. Anyway, he is totally rocking out here and I'm really enjoying this. Gramps is kinda hot! Vocally, I think it's his best yet, and he gets raves from all the judges. Simon echoes what's in my head, also saying it's the best we've heard from him. Woo!

So for me, best of the night goes to Gramps, maybe Carly and David C., who also wins most improved makeover. Middle of the pack are David A., Brooke and Jason. My ideal bottom three would be Ramiele, Syesha and Kristy Lee, but we'll see if that actually happens. Simon wasn't feeling Jason, so America might not either. Bren will be here tomorrow with your results! And next week is Idol Gives F'ing Back. Cheers!