I don't care what anyone says, or what anyone thinks. I. Love. Mariah. This bitch is a force to be reckoned with in the music industry. She beat ELVIS, you guys. Most number one songs EVER. And she's not even 40 years old! Not to mention, she went bat-shit crazy that one time and showed up to TRL wearing nothing but a giant tee shirt. Word, MC. I totally downloaded "Touch My Body" from iTunes the second it hit the airwaves even though as Brenna says, it sounds exactly like all her other songs. So: to the races!
Seacrest voices over as the camera pans down the line of our Idols. My husband's first observation of the kids, having not watched this show in almost two years: they all look bland. That's about right, babe. The Archu-robot has a face that looks like he's been eating some of Jason's brownies. After Ryan's longest pause in the history of "THIS...is American Idol", it's showtime.
David A. is up first. I have to say, Bren and I had numerous discussions over the past two days about what the boys would sing on this diva-licious night. I do not know how it escaped us that Mariah sang a song called "When You Believe", because, of COURSE David would choose a song with "believe" in the title. OMG, he is wearing leather pants! HAAAAAAAAAAAA. I bet he borrowed those from Gramps. Aww, Gramps. I have to say, you guys, I think the strain of the competition is wearing on our lil David. Is it just me, or has he been looking more and more run down every week? I think he's doing a great job with the song in spite of that, actually. I thought his falsetto was really nice, and the judges all love it.
Here comes Carly, who finally is wearing a decent outfit. Thank you, jeebus. She's singing "Without You", which is kind of predictable, and MC loves her. I think it's miles better than last week, and she isn't exuding an air of desperation for once. She's better when she's belting the big notes...I think Randy tells her that every week. And, yep, there we go, he says it again and tells her she was slightly weaker in her lower range. I agree with that. This wasn't Carly's best, but it certainly wasn't her worst. Simon says he expected more from her and he doesn't think she pulled it off, but I think she did better than okay. Not great...I'll give it a pretty good.
Ugh, Syezzzzzzzzsha. Girl already took on Whitney, now she gets to do Mariah. She chooses "Vanishing", which I vaguely know. It's not one of my top Mariah songs. Wow, I love her dress. She looks dynamite tonight. Guys, there's really not much I can say about Syesha. She's technically the best vocalist on the show, by a mile, but she's so freaking dull. I wouldn't buy her album because she just doesn't have a sound that interests me. Randy tells her she did a good job, Paula jibba jabbas something and Simon tells her it was technically very very good, but he thinks she took a risk picking an unknown song. We'll see. I have a feeling she might be bottom three'ing it again.
Brooke is up next, telling us again how she missed her sister's wedding. Oh my God, she's doing "Hero"--BREN. I can't remember, did you call this one? I know I was saying Archu-bot would do it, and I thought you said one of the girls would and I can't remember if you said B-money. She's at the piano, good. I can hear the Brooke spin on this, and I wish it were better but it's not fabulous. She is visibly shaking throughout the whole thing, and the song feels completely rushed after the bridge. I'm sure that's the nerves. I'm a little nervous for Brooke. I would still totally buy her album, but I don't think that performance will win her any fans.
Seriously, Paula is on some good shit tonight. As all the judges are talking over each other about Brooke, she busts out with "the two of you look GREAT on stage together!" Brooke and Seacrest are all, WTF? and everyone looks at Paula like this is her descent into madness. Guys! SHE'S ALREADY THERE.
Kristy Lee, are you still here? Jesus. OMFG are you kidding me?? "Forever" is seriously my all-time favorite Mariah song, and she is going to country it all up and ruin it. RUIN IT. She is so asstastic and white trash. She's in some cheap gold lame dress and is twanging all over the song. This is terrible. Simon agrees with me, calling it whiny and telling her that Mariah night wasn't to her advantage. I really hope this is the end of her. Please. PLEASE. Haaaaaaaaaate.
David C. is going to attempt "Always Be My Baby." I have to admit, I did not see this one coming. I was completely stumped at what David would pick. He comes out and starts rocking out to the song and it is f'ing fantastic. 10 bucks some random band no one's ever heard of comes out tomorrow and is all, we totally covered that song FIRST. Bitches. Guys, I love this. David is not the most technically perfect vocalist ever, but he's the whole package. Randy gives him the first standing ovation of season seven, of course Paula digs it because she wants to do him, and Simon loves it, calling it a breath of fresh air. I think that is David's terminally ill brother in the audience, and he tears up on stage. I love this guy. Another one whose album I would buy.
Because the show is so jacked up and Paula never shuts up, I don't get to see the end of the show. I had two shows set to record at 9 and my tv like freaked out when the clock turned to 9:00, lol. I see the beginning of Jason with Mariah and hear that he's singing "I Don't Wanna Cry", and I see the beginning of it, which sounds awesome. Jason is so random and cool. I have to call my mom to find out what the judges thought of it. Apparently Simon loved it--he's been on a Jason kick the past two weeks.
To sum up: the guys totally win Mariah night. Which was to be expected, as they said in the beginning, it was going to be harder for the girls. Well done, gentlemen. Ideal bottom three would be Syesha, Carly and Kristy Lee, but as Gramps' shocking elimination last week showed us, anything can happen! Bren will give you the results tomorrow night. Cheers!
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