Well, Sunday night and I’ve finally caught up on my Idol viewing. Seacrest opens the results show by telling us $60 million has been raised so far. So there are good people in this country! The Idols kick off the show with a very un-PC group sing, “Shout to the Lord,” complete with massive gospel choir. We used to have this debate in high school choir, about singing religious songs in a secular setting, and it was always decided that it’s more about the art than the lyrics themselves. Some of the greatest musical compositions ever written are religious. But this is American Idol, not Christian Idol, and it’s still a little odd to watch on tv. But anyways. Enough seriousness. We have Zack and Cody (who are they?!) asking us for money!
There’s an obnoxious singalong to the tune of “I’m A Believer.” I’m too tired to figure out who all these people are. I see Kobe Bryant and more SYTYCD pimping. Was that Baby Spice? Did Posh not allow her on the show Wednesday night? Throughout the night we’ll see a litany of celebrities not quite famous enough to appear on Wednesday’s show, except for Jim Carrey. Not quite sure how he got stuck on Thursday.
Seacrest starts the results. Brooke and the Davids are both safe, obvi. We take a break for another report from Africa from Forest and Keysha Whitaker, then we’re back to the Idol stage for Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown. They sing that “No Air” song, which is at least better than “Tattoo,” and the whole time all I can think is how I want to brush Jordin’s hair. They award her with some plaques – she sold some CDs, some people downloaded her songs, I think maybe she crossed the street this morning…
The Ford commercial involves paint and a car and the Idols just wanting to celebrate. God, I hate these things.
Back to results. Jason & Kristy Lee are safe, which leaves Syesha, Carly, & Michael backstage in the bottom three. While KLC drives me insane, I wasn’t throwing anything at my tv week after week when she stayed, because someone almost equally deserving always went home. None of these three deserve that. Yes, Syesha is boring and a pain in the ass, and yes, Carly seriously underwhelms me, and yes, Michael has lived up to his audition only once or twice. But to send any of them packing before KLC? No way.
But of course we can’t find out who’s going home just yet. We check in with Bono once more (is this Bono Gives Back?) and then we get taped messages from Hillary Clinton, John McCain, and Barack Obama. (I’m fairly certain Lindsay and I have differing political views, so I’m refraining from making any comments. My Spirit Has Been Broken will not endorse a candidate at this time, unless said candidate promises to lock up KLC in a cellar or something.)
We finally get the results, and it’s Michael who’s going home. Seacrest is especially bitchy tonight. Seriously, he’s really mean to Michael. Everyone looks genuinely shocked, most of all the contestants. Carly is totally broken up. David C. looks pissed. (You know he’s thinking, you’re leaving me here with a stoner and a teenager?) Give props to Michael though. He sings the crap out of “Dream On,” and it might be even better than his performance on Tuesday. The only better goodbye song I’ve seen on this show was Phil’s “Blaze of Glory” from Bon Jovi week last year. And with that, we’re done to our top 7.
I’ll be back Tuesday to recap the performance night, and Lindsay is stuck with results this week. And Idol Madness continues! See you then.
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