Anyways. The show kicks off with what may be the worst group sing we’ve ever seen. (Maybe we should do that bracket next?) The Idols are singing “9 to 5,” and David Cook looks like he genuinely wants to cry. People, they’re making him dance, and it’s just tragic. I find myself watching the entire song, because it’s amusing me to no end.
The recap shows us how bad Ramiele and KLC were, and how awesome Michael Johns was. Ryan amps up the pregnant pause scale to 11 and gives the Idols their results. Michael – safe. David A. – safe. Carly – safe. (How scared does David A. look sitting in between those two?!)
Call-ins. Predictable as usual. I’m amused by caller #5, Kristen, who says she’ll give Idol Gives F’ing Back $5000 for a date with the Cookster. Honey, you don’t need to give them money. Just go out to a club dressed all slutty and I’m sure he’ll find you and pick you up. (Because in my mind, David C. is Barney from "How I Met Your Mother," but without the suit or Neil Patrick Harris level of awesome.)
Apparently someone won that Next American Band show, and Nigel is trying to pimp them on Idol. I don’t care enough to waste text on them.
The Ford commercial reached a new low.
Back to results. David C. – safe. (And deciding to return to the combover. David, honey, you looked really good last night. Don’t ruin it.) Ramiele – to the stools, followed by KLC.
We now get an Idol alumni reunion with a Nashville theme. Bucky looks trashier than while he was on the show. When did Phil Stacey become Chris Daughtry 2.0? And I have no opinion on Bo cuz I was in Greece that year.
Results. Syesha – safe. Jason – safe. Brooke – to the stools. Huh? Really?
Errr? Brooke?
Time for Dolly’s performance, and damn. I mean, I know she’s Dolly Parton and all, but for Dolly that was even a crazy outfit. It’s like she’s trying to be formal on top, but she’s got these leggings on, so just in case she needs to go do yoga, it’s a quick transition. She sings a song about having Jesus and gravity. I’m really confused about the connection between the two, but then I look up the lyrics:
'Cause I've got
Somethin' lifting me up (Jesus)
Somethin' holding me down (gravity)
Somethin' to give me wings and (Jesus)
Somethin' to keep my feet on the ground (gravity)
Ok, that makes sense now. You know what I do love about Dolly? She seemed genuinely excited that the kids sang her songs and (mostly) did well. I enjoy her.
The bottom 3 is back at centerstage, and Brooke is rambling again. I love her but someone needs to tell her to shut up sometimes. Ryan sends her back to safety. Ramiele is already crying, and KLC looks like a pro at this. Ramiele is sent home and completely loses her marbles. The rest of the girls come out to comfort her, leaving the boys on the couches. I think Jason is looking for a bong, David A. is trying to avoid getting beat up again by the big boys, and David C. is clearly begging Michael to be his wingman at the bar later. And we’re done.
Lindsay & I will tag-team Idol Gives F’ing Back next week, since no one in their right mind should be expected to sit through 2.5 hours of that crap. Apparently the Mannings will be involved, leaving me wondering if there’s anything Peyton won’t promote.
'Cause I've got
Somethin' lifting me up (Jesus)
Somethin' holding me down (gravity)
Somethin' to give me wings and (Jesus)
Somethin' to keep my feet on the ground (gravity)
Ok, that makes sense now. You know what I do love about Dolly? She seemed genuinely excited that the kids sang her songs and (mostly) did well. I enjoy her.
The bottom 3 is back at centerstage, and Brooke is rambling again. I love her but someone needs to tell her to shut up sometimes. Ryan sends her back to safety. Ramiele is already crying, and KLC looks like a pro at this. Ramiele is sent home and completely loses her marbles. The rest of the girls come out to comfort her, leaving the boys on the couches. I think Jason is looking for a bong, David A. is trying to avoid getting beat up again by the big boys, and David C. is clearly begging Michael to be his wingman at the bar later. And we’re done.
Lindsay & I will tag-team Idol Gives F’ing Back next week, since no one in their right mind should be expected to sit through 2.5 hours of that crap. Apparently the Mannings will be involved, leaving me wondering if there’s anything Peyton won’t promote.
1 comment:
I was not at all surprised by Brooke, I have to say. She didn't deserve to go home, but she's been getting kind of annoying, so maybe that's putting people off. BYE RAMIELE.
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