Idol Madness: Guarini vs. Sanjaya

Sanjaya Malakar, “You Really Got Me”
VS.
Justin Guarini, “Route 66”

Let’s call this one the Battle of the Hair.

I was never a fan of Justin Guarini, and I don’t remember this performance at all from season 1. It’s amazing, looking back, that this is the night Kelly wowed us all with “Stuff Like That There,” and eventual runner-up Justin serenaded us all with this cheese-tastic version of “Route 66.” He’s snapping his head so much it’s giving me whiplash. Oh look, now he’s trying to scat. I feel like I’m in a hotel lounge in Atlantic City. I feel like I should be rushing off to the craps tables.

As bad as Justin’s performance was, though, there is nothing – NOTHING – in my mind that could top the debacle that was “You Really Got Me” as interpreted by Sanjaya. I’m surprised I actually kept watching the show after this one. I’m guessing because that week Jordin also blew us away with “I Who Have Nothing” and Blake sang that ultra cool version of “Time of the Season” (still my second favorite Blake performance).

Back to Sanjaya.

This really was the worst performance in the history of the world. I’m sure there are worse singers than Sanjaya out there. There have probably been songs that have had worse performances on Idol – or on other stages – over the years. But the combination of all the elements of this one, all coming together on the same night, is untouchable. The strange sweater/glove combo Sanjaya was wearing with the graffitied up blazer? Check. The inappropriate grinding near Paula? Check. And then there was the crying girl. The girl who epitomized everything wrong with the Sanjaya Phenomenon of 2007. The girl who was EVERYWHERE for the next week.

Guarini doesn’t stand a chance. This is like the Yankees versus the Pirates. It’s Sanjaya in a blow-out.