Group sing. How bad do you think it pains Gramps and David C. to have to do these? You know those divas don't talk to any of the other contestants unless the cameras are on.
After the commercials, we have a giant long-ass product placement for iTunes. Does Steve Jobs have naked pictures of Nygel Lythgoe with a goat or something? There has been so much iTunes/iPhone promotion on this show this season. They should just make the top 12 take their pics with an iPhone in one hand and a Coke cup in the other while sitting on the hood of a Ford F150.
Recap of last night: Michael was seemingly awesome on the surface with all the lights and Queen bravado but I could not stop laughing; Ramiele so should not have gone there; Carly, who I did not think was nearly as bad as the judges made her out to be; Syeshazzzzzzzzz; Jason singing something that sounded exactly like what he sang two weeks ago; Chikezie, who really needs to step it up; David A. auditioning for Up with People; Brooke adorably messing up; Kristy Lee being disgusting and exploiting patriotism for her own personal gain; and David Cook saving this whole f'ing show.
Time for the results. Note: we're starting results at 9:14. THIS COULD SO BE OVER BY 9:30. Chikezie is up first and in an unprecedented move, Seacrest tells him he's in the bottom three. He almost never does that with the first one. I'm not surprised that he's in the bottom, but I really hope he's safe tonight. Brooke is clearly safe. Carly's next and she's safe too. Yay! I actually really enjoyed her last night, I didn't get why the judges were all on her shit. Commercials.
We're back with the FORD! commercial. "I Want You To Want Me"--this is the creepiest commercial yet. Singing tee shirts? Am I the only one who kind of thinks Brooke could rock this song? More results. Lil David, we know your asshole stage dad picked your song. It's okay, you're still safe. Just go to prom with that nice girl and forget you were ever on this show. David Cook--his positioning makes me nervous. We haven't had a bottom three'er in a while. PLEASE, I'm so sure Chris Cornell calls Ryan Seacrest. LMAO. David's safe, whew.
OK, Syesha is totally in the bottom. Wait for it....wait for it....and there we go. I would not be sad if she were gone. Hey, it's Gramps! Hi Grandpa! That phone's in the movie, Grandpa, that's not your phone! Just kidding Michael, you're kind of awesome. You're safe, way to go. DOLLY PARTON IS NEXT WEEK. YES. You guys, that shit is going to be so awesome, you don't even know. Please let David A. sing "9 to 5." Oh, hey, KLo's here? YAY! She was like the only decent woman who came out of season two. Carmen and Camille....shudder.
Why are they still making us suffer through these "calls"? American Idol is now apparently turning into Loveline, since this chick is calling to find out if Chikezie is single. Don't do it Chikezie! OK, dear America...you can't put David A. on the spot. If he doesn't have the answers programmed in by his dad beforehand, he'll implode! LMAO that girl's question to Simon was kind of hilarious. I could so do Ryan Seacrest's job. Right? Fast forward through the rest of the calls, make sure you tell me if I missed something good.
Yay Kimberley Locke! I really loved her. Blah blah, video package. Get on with the song! She is so fierce. I want that dress she's wearing in her after picture. She's so classy and wonderful. Thanks for not turning into a diva skank, KLo! Keep it real, girl. She sings and is perfectly lovely and I miss season two a little bit.
Commercials and we're back. Oh my God. OH MY GOD. SNOOP is going to be on Idol Gives Back. I am totally on board now. You guys, Snoop is the shit. I'm not even messing around. It's 9:44 and we don't even have a bottom three yet. GOD. Fast forwarding through Idol Gives Back recap #80000 of this season. OMG, Ramiele must not be in the bottom! Maybe it's Kristy Lee! God, Ramiele's baby voice is annoying. Over it. She's safe, blah.
It's down to Jason and our arch enemy Kristy Lee. I wouldn't be surprised if Jason was in the bottom, honestly. RYAN. LEE GREENWOOD DID NOT CALL YOU. Dammit, Kristy Lee is safe. That smell last night during her performance? Desperation. And America smelled it too and went with it. BOOOOO. I will be sad if Chikezie or Jason go. I could take or leave Syezzzzzzsha. Jason's safe, wow, that was a quick turn of events. Please be Syesha. Please be Syesha. Aaaaaaaaaaaaand...commercials, of course.
The guy from REO Speedwagon is going to be on Don't Forget the Lyrics? Seriously? I may have to watch that.
9:55 and we're FINALLY about to get the result. After some debating between the judges and Ryan....aww, man!!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
So that's it for this week. I am so super psyched to be recapping Dolly Parton night next week!!! WOOO! Keep checking for the latest updates to our Idol Madness brackets. I'll be blogging next week's performance and Bren will take the results. Cheers!
3 comments:
Matt's going to start voting for Lil David so his dad doesn't beat him to death. It's okay to laugh at that, right?
I watched the first part of Idol last nite and was in no way influenced by what I read on your blog... ;-) Love Brooke. Want to stab all the little girls who are into Kevin Covais Part 2.
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