Hey Mama, welcome to the 60s!

First, I need to give mad props to Bren for managing to sort through the David and Jason soup she was served last night. Second, I need to preface this post with a disclaimer: it's about get real catty on MSHBB. I do not have a good track record of being on board with the Idol females (Kelly Clarkson excluded), and this year's bunch of bland blonde Carrie Underwood wannabes are already chapping my ass--I'm looking at YOU, Kristy Lee.

Also, Bren mentioned it yesterday, but I have to say it again--a big WTF to themed top 24 nights. Top 24 was always the calm right before the overly cheesed storm of the top 12. Here, the contestants still had a shot at showing some of their true colors before being wedged like a Melinda Doolittle-shaped peg into a Gwen Stefani-shaped hole. With that being said, let's take the plunge into tonight's debacle.

Ohhhh Kristy Lee. How so very unfortunate that you get to go FIRST, on this night when apparently half the cast has come down with typhoid. I hate her on sight. I'm over her horse, I'm over her blonde blandness and I'm over Amazing Grace. She busts out with "Rescue Me", which we've all heard a zillion times on Idol and roughly all of those times were better than this. She really doesn't have a bad voice per se, but there is nothing special about this and she shows no emotion whatsoever. The good thing is, she was first, so maybe people will forget her.

And also, I'm going to say this once, now, and this goes for all the girls who want to use this excuse tonight. I don't give a rat's ass if you have the flu, bronchitis, walking pneumonia, whatever. You have NINETY SECONDS to make us love you--just suck it up and give it your all for those 90 seconds, then go pass out backstage with an oxygen tank later. That is all.

Joanna Borgella, as a fellow BBW (big beautiful woman), I am automatically required to heart you. I also need to say, I am so glad you fixed that crazy hair you had going on at auditions. That being said, I am not all that into this performance. "I Say A Little Prayer?" Seriously, who can listen to this song and not think of My Best Friend's Wedding? Remember that scene? It was flippin' sweet. I so wanted to be an extra during that. What was I talking about? Oh right, Joanna. Not good.

My first reaction to Alaina Whitaker is, who the hell is this? Her video package is kind of annoying but I guess it's because she's a teenager. She is totally Carrie Underwood's doppelganger--blonde, Oklahoman, vaguely country-ish voice. I love her little gap though. Her range is good, and for the first time tonight, I think the song sounds current ("More Today Than Yesterday"), which has been difficult to do with the craptastic 60's theme and--OMG!! Orlando Bloom is here?? Oh--shit, that's Luke. Jesus, does he look like Orlando. Anyway, nice job Alaina.

OK, you guys. I am struggling with Amanda Overmeyer so bad. On the one hand, I want to like her because she is not Kristy Lee Cook. I like it when Fox shakes things up and gives us the Amandas and Ginas. On the other hand...I don't think I can honestly say I have heard Amanda SING all that much. I really couldn't understand half of the words of this song, and she needs to stay out of her lower register--her voice seems richer and stronger when she's higher up. If I'm being honest--I wouldn't buy her album. But I like having her around.

Oh my God, Amy Davis. I can't even handle you right now. WTF is a trade show model?? And dude, you have one chance to show yourself to America, and you pick a damn Patsy Cline song?? I have written in my notes "flat, flat, FLAT" and that's about all I need to say. I hate this. Her parents did wear tee shirts with her face on them in Hollywood, so that kind of rules.

Brooke "Never seen an R-rated movie" White. That sugary sweetness is going to get old fast, but for now, I think I might be okay with her. She sings "Happy Together" and is a lot better than creepy von creepster David Cook from last night. I love her voice on the verses but she seems to lose it a bit in the chorus and her phrasing is kind of jacked. I won't vote for her on principle because I don't really have a horse in the girls' race here (I warned you above!) but I won't be sad if she sticks around.

Alexandrea Lushington, you made my damn night. Firstly, your name totally rules and wins for best name on AI. Secondly, your great g-ma also rules. Thirdly, you took on freaking "Spinning Wheel", which takes me back to when I was about 17 and we had to sing this for show choir and we were all, WHAT in the hay-ell does this song mean? This is so trippin'. Her outfit is RIDIC. She is all over the place vocally and she sounds better in her lower register but I don't even care. You rock my world, Alexandrea.

OK, I am convinced that Kady Malloy has Spears blood in her. Am I the only one who thinks she looks exactly like Jamie-Lynn? And the fact that you can ape Britney, no matter how accurate you sound (so accurate it gave me hives, I think), is not necessarily something to brag about. Do you even read US Weekly? SPEARS FAMILY=BAD. When she started out ("Groovy Kind of Love") I thought she actually sounded decent. Then she hit the middle of the song, and eesh. What happened? Did she forget the words? She looked so out of it.

Asia'h Epperson, I know at some point I am going to forget that you have an apostrophe in your name. Sorry in advance. I have to say, I absolutely hated her audition. I felt bad because of her dad, but I thought her audition sucked. Tonight she was workin' it, though. However, "Piece of My Heart" is sloooooowly becoming overused on Idol. She has a great voice, great presence, but something's off about her diction. She lost the ends of half of her words, there were times when everything seemed to run together, but overall, she did a nice job.

Here was another audition I hated--Ramiele Malubay. She shouted her way into Hollywood, but tonight she is a hell of a lot better than she was when we first saw her. She's rocking "You Don't Have To Say You Love Me" by Dusty Springfield, and the girl is on point. Her pace is good, her tone is good, and she's very controlled and less shouty than her "Natural Woman" was.

Wow, they lumped all the girls with loud-ass auditions one right after the other, didn't they? Damn, Syesha. Also, can we talk about her comment about everyone being sick to Ryan in the Coke room--"they separate us"? WTF? I got a visual of these people being caged and divided like lab rats. Which they so are, if you think about it. Good God. Anyway, Syesha Mercado is singing "Tobacco Road" for us tonight. She has killer stage presence, she's beautiful and she's got the pipes. Of course Randy trots out "pitchy" as an adjective. Simon proclaims her one of the most talented girls, and I agree.

OK, Carly Smithson. She admits to her previous record deal, which I'm not getting into (you can read the blog below for that). She's also been placed in the coveted "pimp spot", which should make the conspiracy theorists freak out. I don't know the name of this song, unfortunately--I THINK it's "Shadow of Your Smile"? Maybe? Anyone? Buehler?--but Carly's doing a great job with it. I agree with Simon somewhat--I wasn't necessary blown away, but that may be because I had never heard the song before and I have a hard time getting into it if I don't know the song. However, she gave a solid performance, and you can tell she's experienced.

So, overall, not as terrible as I'd expected. My top three for tonight are Ramiele, Syesha and either Carly or Alaina--Alaina surprised me tonight, so I'd like to see her again next week. Predictions for the ouster? DEFINITELY Amy Davis and while I'm hoping for Kristy Lee, it could be Kady or Joanna. Brenna will be posting our reactions to the results on Friday--happy watching!