We kick off with some Journey in Florida, and this episode already gets my vote. Because, a) they're playing Don't Stop Believin' and showing Randy Jackson with some KICK ASS hair, and b) the Steelers are in Florida too, this week, so how can you argue with that?!
That said, why do they all need separate limos? Apparently AI is not going green.
Some dude looks like Justin Guarini. Dude, I would not brag about that. He gets through and I don't know how.
This guy is a massive douche!
The next girl whose name I don't care to remember has a cute dog and an average voice. Kara and Paula then make out. I think Kara needs to get laid, because she talks way too much about sex.
I think Kara's boobs just voted yes.
Seacrest tries to convince us he's doing something manly and going "off roading" in a golf cart. Seacrest, shut up. The manliest thing you've done lately is go a few days without a manicure.
Si to a Latina chick. Some dude gets sad when another dude who he met about 4 hours earlier is cut and then breaks down in the audition room before singing "It's So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday," making him the 700th contestant this year to sing Boyz II Men.
Now this just looks even gayer than it would have in the first place.
The show descends into yet another debacle when a girl brings her friend in to sit on Randy's lap, prompting Paula to sit on Simon's lap, and Seacrest to sit on Kara's lap. Kara seriously needs to get laid. She's feeling up Seacrest. SEACREST. La la la la la la la laaaaa. This girl's friend is even laughing at how awful and strange the singing AND the situation is. This is the most bizarre season ever.
Day 2 and Kara's boobs are even more out there. Rein it in, girl.
Why does she have to rein it in? They're the best part of the show.
Jasmine is cute with cute sisters and she's actually good. Look for her in Hollywood. Painfully awkward physics major dude sings what sounds like it should be "Walkin' on Sunshine" without any resemblance of energy. TK Hash is an "administrator" of something and sings "Imagine." Somewhere, Lindsay is crying. Anne Marie with the new makeup and shoes reminds me of Brooke, because a) she's a nanny, and b) she's entirely too innocent for this competition and will break miserably under the pressure, which we'll all have to witness.
So a lot of people we didn't see got golden tickets, and we're thankfully spared the singalong montage of terrible singers and get one of decent singers instead. That then ends with crazy physics weirdo. And ooooh goodie, Archuleta country tomorrow. Thank God Lindsay will be blogging that one. :)
Ooh, Scrubs is on!
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