It takes two hours to cut 18 people?

This show totally could have been an hour. Am I right? I mean, we've got 54 people here and we're trying to get to the top 36, which, I'm sorry, but any more than 10, and it's not really a "top" of anything. Tonight's ep will be full of manufactured drama, with the judges uttering things like "It's not good news...it's GREAT news!"

I also realized at about 8:50 that I should have kept track of how many times Randy said "it's the moment of truth right here" because that was his catch phrase this time around.

OOH and they created a FANTASTIC new drama-inducing twist: the sing-off. Slightly ripped off from So You Think You Can Dance, where the bottom ranked contestants have to "dance for their life"--tonight if there are two contestants the judges aren't sure about, they each have to sing again and they choose between them. Awesome.

Up first is Anoop. Also, sidebar: I will not write down or memorize most of these contestants last names until we're at least in the "top" 24. Anyway, we've loved Anoop since we first saw him, and he has made it through to the semifinals. Yay, Anooooooooop!

Also in, unfortunately, is Von, the annoying over the top guy who apparently has pushy parents. According to Simon, when he sang what he wanted and not what his parents wanted, that's what changed their minds. So: shut up, Von's mom.

OK and time for the first sing off! Up first is Cody Shelton, that kid who made horror movies and Alex Wagner-Trugman, who Bren and I hearted at first glance. Cody sings that Gavin Rossdale song and Alex sings "Don't Let the Sun Go Down" and it's totally clear to me who should get put through. Of course we have added drama that these guys are apparently best friends now, so I smell a little producer intervention here. Rightfully so, Alex gets put through and Cody is cut.

Next is Adam Lambert, the Cookster doppelganger who remade "Believe" the other night. He and his giant necklace are through. I'm still not 100% on Adam, but he's sort of growing on me.

Also in is tall Taylor of the wee vest, cutie pie Jasmine, two other girls I vaguely remember seeing (Arianna and Casey Carlson), divorcee Megan, Mishovanna and Stevie Wright, who I had forgotten about until this moment. Yay Stevie!

Up next is what I would like to call the horseshit segment of this episode, and it revolves around Joanna Pacitti. Some of you may have heard about Joanna's past recording deal, which tends to get some people riled up. Personally, I don't give a shit...this show LONG ago stopped being about finding the best "undiscovered" talent and is now just purely for entertainment and to find someone who can make money. She makes it through, and the reason I call shenanigans on this is not because of her previous deals, but because during Hollywood week she messed up her lyrics every. SINGLE. TIME. Whatever, show. I am not voting for Joanna.

Anyway, ahem. So a quick montage of cuts: three guys we've never seen get the boot and then it's that Kendal girl from Texas who butched "Before He Cheats" the other night. She's in, and it's our first girl/girl singoff is up: Jenn Korbee who I never saw before and came to audition with her hubby, and Kristen MacNamara of the giant mouth and red weave Nancy's group. I really like Kristen, but girl needs a makeover. Fugliest outfit ever, and we haven't even seen Jackie Tohn yet. They both sing, Kristen makes it through and Simon is pissed. Oooh he hates her bad. This will be interesting.

Also in is Alexis Grace of the single motherhood and Pittsburgh picture-taking fame. OK and Scott the blind guy is in, not necessarily rightfully so. I appreciate his story, but...meh. Lil Rounds is also in, yay! I could put my fist through her damn earring.

Quick montage of girls who were cut: Felicia somebody, Ashley so and so and Devon someone. Never saw any of them before. And another sing off between Frankie Jordan, the Sarah Silverman look alike with the Amy Winehouse-esque voice and Jesse Langseth, who I don't really remember seeing. Jesse is GOOD, and totally deserves to get through, even if she's wearing the most hideous pants ever made. She does get through, and Simon dismisses Frankie with a "you wouldn't have won anyway"--excellent. I kind of hated Frankie.

Two more people get cut that we've never seen before, and a 16-year old named Allison something gets through, and I have a feeling we could have a bit of Jordin Sparks syndrome with her. Did you guys know that Jordin was SEVENTEEN when she won Idol? Just thought I'd tell you in case the judges didn't say it enough when she was on the show.

Heartbreak time. It's Danny and Jamar. I knew in the bottom of my heart that the judges would end up only passing one of them through to the semifinals. PS I am really distracted by all of Jamar's facial piercings. Maybe the judges were too, because he gets cut and Danny make it through. The expected shock and flood of emotions follow.

Montage of guys they put through--Rick Braddy (who?), Matt Giraud YAY, Ju'not Joyner YAY, Jorge Nunez (meh), and Brent Keith (eh). Also Stephen Fowler, the guy who totally blew it with the lyrics on the Cookster song last night made it, which is suspect. See: Joanna Pacitti.

OMG and they freaking let Nick Marshall/Norman Gentle through?!? We are so done now. He's making it to the top 10, because all the idiots who watch the first few weeks of the show just to see assholes like him are going to vote for him. GAWD.

Yay!! Jackie Tohn made it. And apparently, all my earlier rants about people's outfits meant that Jackie loaned all her wackadoodle pieces out to everyone, because she is dressed the most subduely (is that even a word?) we've ever seen. GO JACKIE.

I think my head just exploded and I may have to break up with this show, because they freaking let Tatiana Nutbag through. WHAT? WHAT? I don't even need to list the reasons why this is so wrong. There had to be better girls that they cut. Also, she really needs to invest in some Crest Whitestrips and quit buying Paula's jewelry. You know you are freaking ridiculous when Nathaniel "I can feel it on my skin" Marshall is looking appalled by you and rolling his eyes.

Speaking of good old Nate, he's up against some guy named Jackie Midkiff in a sing-off. Jackie is good if a little bland, and Nathaniel is actually the best we've ever heard him, I think. Of course prior to the sing off, they showed hints of Nathaniel's backstory and none of Jackie's, which is how you knew that Nathaniel was in. We're on to you, Idol.

Another montage of people who made it: Jeanine something, Kai Kalama Polamalu, Anne Marie Boskovitch and Kris someone (that's a guy by the way, who I've never seen) and we're down to our final sing off. It's down to the two "blue collar" guys: welder Matt Breitzke and oilrigger Michael Sarver. And surprise! They both make it through.

So finally we have our "top" 36. We end with a nice montage of all of them throughout various stages of the auditions, and find out who the first 12 are that will be performing for us next week. I accidentally erased the show from my DVR already but I remember that some of that group includes Danny, Jackie, Anoop, Stephen Foster, Tatiana, Stevie Wright...and that's all I've got. Tune in next week for our first blog of a live performance, FINALLY. Bren will tell you all about the first group. Happy Valentine's Day, peeps!