Welcome to Hollywood, round 3. As Ryan continues to remind us, this is intense. It's the most important week of these people's sad little lives. Apparently the producers have been watching Lost too much this year, because we're utilizing some sort of flash forward/backwards narrative in this episode, which gets really annoying when I'm not finding out reason #54409 why Sayid kicks ass.
We start off with Adam Lambert, who is trying a little too hard to channel the Cookster, what with the guyliner and the Cooksterizing of a Cher song. I'm torn on him. Someone I am in no way torn in, though, is Matt the Piano Man, who sings a fantastic rendition of "Georgia on my Mind." Love him, love him.
Next up is BFFs Jamar and Danny, and.... yeah, just didn't do it for me this week. I still love them both, but written in my notes next to their names is simply "TERRIBLE." Ladies and gentlemen, here is the first song choice lecture of the season. Jamar's attempt at "Hey There Delilah" sounds like Pharrell on caffeine pills, and Danny sings that awful "I Hope You F'ing Dance" song that should be reserved only for terrible nights like IGFB.
But then... Snoop! Snoop Anoop! I love this guy. AND he sings "My Prerogative!" As per usual, I like the men much more than the women on this show. Here we go again. :)
Scott Macintyre inspires my second song choice lecture of the season, and here it goes... Ahem. Contestants of American, do not sing any songs originally sung by a former contestant of the very show you are trying to win. I repeat, DO NOT SING SONGS BY DAUGHTRY, COOKSTER, KELLY, JORDIN, OR CARRIE. No matter how great you sing, you will not sing it as well as they do, and I will keep track of your Idol offenses. This currently applies to Scott, Stevie Wright, Kristen McNamara, Alexis Grace, Jasmine and Stephen Fowler.
They next do a montage of how many songs Bat Shit Tatiana has made us suffer through this season. She tries to out-Whitney Whitney while giving us yet another Idol offense - DO NOT SING WHITNEY - and then we're forced to watch her practically self-destruct throughout the entire episode.
That dramatic guy (Nathaniel Marshall) sings what I think is "Disturbia" by Rihanna. I kind of love his drama and hope he sticks around. We next get a montage of idiots forgetting lyrics, asking to start their songs over (Ryan reminds us - as if we've forgotten - that Brooke did that last year), and... Nick, aka Norman Gentle, who I won't waste any more words on.
Others in the spotlight include Anne Marie, aka Brooke 2.0, who makes me suffer through another performance of I Hope You Dance; Ju'not Joyner, who redeems Hey There Delilah with a stellar rendition; Kaylan Loyd, who somehow makes Alicia Keys sound country; Leneshe Young, who sucks at song selection with "Love Song"; and Michael Sarver, the oil rig roughneck, All or Nothing, by O-Town (?!?!?!), you know, the first "Making the Band" band before Diddy got his hands on it.
So, the judges finally make their decisions. Simon is a diva and can't postpone his flight, so it's up to Paula and her crazy medieval-shield-on-a-chain necklace, Randy and his tee-shirt-with-painted-on-bling, and Kara and her general awesomeness to break the news to the masses. The contestants are broken up into four rooms, and the judges do their usual "oh you're not in but really you are" schmuck to 3 of the 4. The only group to be cut includes awesome little India (sad), but also includes Castro 2.0 (Hallelujah!!!!).
So that wraps up the next to last night of the audition rounds. Apparently tomorrow the final 36 are named at the "Judges' Mansion." (What?!) Lindsay will be blogging that, and we're back to live shows next week!!!!
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