Thursday, March 14, 2013

I don't believe I can fly.

Eleventy billion people probably voted last night. We've got Bon Jovi AND Phillip Phillips. And hopefully Nicki showed up on time. THIS is American Idol.

Okay, so after the top 10 is paraded out and we see a montage of last night (still think Nicki was on crackalack saying that Amber was the best of the night but whatevs),  Ryan goes straight to some form of results. But this year instead of just the bottom three, we're also going to see the top three, and some other sort of ranking system in between? Like what the X Factor did? Or what?

Anyway, so we hear about Devin, Janelle and Candice first. Devin got 25% of the vote in Puerto Rico. Janelle got some percentage in Tennessee, I missed it. And Candice got 40 some percent of the vote in South Carolina. She is also the first person into the top three. Yeah Candice! So wait does that mean she's in first place? I'm confused, RYAN.

Group sing. Lord. I think it's some song from Brave based on the stuff in the background but I can't be sure. Guess what?? Kree is also in the top three! So far so good here, I'm definitely on board with these votes.

Now we get some Bon Jovi. I've decided that Bon Jovi : Idol :: Justin Timberlake : SNL. He just basically shows up once or twice a season since the year Blake was on. As a mentor or performer, whatever. I still love him. Dude doesn't age.

Oh man, I forgot about this thing. So the sixth place guy and girl from last week are coming back to sing for our votes to be on the tour. And the guy....is Charlie. Oh man. He's less crazy than normal. The girl is Aubrey. So now people vote and one of them gets to go on tour. I could not be less interested in this.

So now we are treated (I guess?) by a performance of Phillip Phillips and his new song "Gone Gone Gone." Dude is already sweaty and he just started. Ease up, bro. Okay, I am actually really enjoying this song. I think I maybe liked him deep down the parts of the show I watched last year but I couldn't get past his Dave Matthews mannerisms or something.

Angie got 17% of the vote in Florida, but apparently Lazaro beat her? But we don't hear his percentage. Oh wow, Angie's also in the top three! Totes agree with this entire top three. Good job America!

After the break we get the rest of the rankings. Fourth place is Lazaro. He's so cute, you guys. I don't care if people don't like him. Amber is in fifth place. Janelle is in sixth place. Sorry for the format of this paragraph but this is basically all that is happening right now. Seventh place is Burnell. OMG WHAT IS HAPPENING TO CUTE PAUL. WHY IS HE IN THE BOTTOOMMMMM??

So the bottom three is Paul, Curtis and Devin. Eighth place is CUTE PAUL! Whew! That was a close one. I really don't care either way which guy gets eliminated here, sorry. Neither one were very good last night.

We're back after the final break. Ryan reminds us of the save which these judges so are not using tonight. The person with the lowest number of votes is Curtis. I'm not at all surprised by this. Curtis was not good last night. He's singing, imagine that, "I Believe I Can Fly"--noooooo. We already had to sit through this once. Blargh. Also his shirt is like a bad Magic Eye poster.

We go to Randy for the final verdict. The judges decision is--no save. Well, duh. Nicki is so mad. She starts bitching about how there wasn't enough time to make the call. NICKI--he was TERRIBLE last night. This is not an undeserved boot.

So that's our first big cut. Nine more weeks of this to go hahaha! See you on Wednesday!

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