Male call

So last night we were wowed (and also not) by the female contestants; tonight, it's the guys' turn. I'd be interested to see which of them are probably hung over after hanging out at a Vegas strip club all night. THIS is American Idol.

Blah blah, discussion about last night, the judges' expectations, whatever. I feel like I honestly can't remember a single guy in this top 10. Is the Turbanator gone? What about weird Charlie? Oh there's Charlie, wearing a tank top and FEATHER EARRING--is he channeling Ke$ha?? Oh and Lazaro is still here!

Elijah Liu is first. I don't know anything about him. He's cute. And looks young. Like an Asian Justin Bieber maybe.  Can I just say I hate those giant white tennis shoes with the big tongues that guys are wearing now? Bad trend. He's doing "Stay" by Rihanna. Interesting choice. He sounds great, actually, though, so maybe I like Elijah? The judges all love him, including his marketability, which face it, is like 80% of this show now. Except Randy who is mostly an idiot.

Commercials. We're back to see how Cortez Shaw does. I think Cortez is really attractive and has a great voice. But I did not love his performance last week. Oooh, he's doing "Knocked Out of Heaven", one of my current favorite jams. I feel like this is really heavy on the backing vocals, he's not really shining too much here. They cut to the judges and Mariah totally has a stank "WTF" face on. This is good, not great. The judges give feedback that I actually agree with, and it's constructive and makes sense. Which makes me think they all like Cortez as a contestant and want him to improve and succeed, versus "oh you look soooo pretty, but the song was just okay."

Up now is Charlie Askew. Who is growing a mustache. Why, God, why. And he's showing off his lucky turtle necklace? I'm a little scared of Charlie. What the hell is this?  Apparently it's "Mama" by Genesis. This is not good. I can appreciate that Charlie is a weirdo and socially awkward but that's not why I watch this show. NEXT. Keith, here is what people at home are saying right now: what. the actual. fuck. He's such a diplomatic judge. And now he's crying. This show is not for you, Charlie. May the odds be NEVER in your favor.

Nick Boddington is after the commercial. I think I like Nick. He's discussing song selection with Ryan. He seems like a really nice, cool dude. He's playing the piano and singing "Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls, which I was OBSESSED with for a while. This sounds really great to start. I really respond to Nick's type of voice. I really like this, but Brenna and I are having a discussion currently about WHY DO THESE PEOPLE SING BALLADS ALL THE TIME??? If I didn't like Nick, I'd be all, zzzzz over here. Anyway, I'm on board with him.

There is literally a commercial before every contestant. This show is so long. Now we have Burnell Taylor. I remember liking Burnell a lot in the previous rounds. Oh apparently he lost a bunch of weight between his first audition and now. Speaking as someone who lost 40 lbs in the past year, my hat is off to you, sir. Burnell is wearing a BAD outfit and singing some song about tall trees?? What is this song? OH, it's a JHUD song, called "I'm Here" haha. Burnell turns it OUT. He is amazing. Even though I didn't know the song, I was into the performance. I would venture to say that Burnell is probably safe.

Five down, five to go. Whew. Also Ryan tweeted that he was getting a haircut yesterday but it looks the same to me. Cute Paul Jolley is up next. And yes, that is his official name here on the blog. He tells a cute story about meeting Carrie. Cute cute cute. Cute. He's singing "Just a Fool", the Blake Shelton/Xtina duet. Brenna asked if this is reality singing show warfare--singing a song by The Voice judges on Idol. HA. He sounds really great on this song. It's really well suited to his voice. Nailed it. Probably the teenage girls who like country are lining up to vote. Ew, did he just say he wants to be the male Taylor Swift?? Paul, call us. We can help.  Cute.

After the break, we have Lazaro Arbos. I know that Lazaro is somewhat of a polarizing contestant this year, but I have to say, I love him. He is one of the first "sob stories" the show has given us that I've responded to. This isn't like a blind Scott thing where he just had an okay voice but everyone was nice because he's blind. Yes, it's awkward to hear him speak, but his singing voice is really just beautiful. And that is supposed to be the point of this show. He's singing "Feeling Good" and sounds great, if a little loungey. I don't think there's a bad note in there. And he seems to be working the stage pretty well for someone who has battled confidence issues. 

Curtis Finch, Jr. is up after the eleventy billionth commercial. I remember Curtis being really good too. Oh man, he's singing "I Believe I Can Fly"--seriously? Out of all the songs you can pick? Laaaaaaaame. Like I remember being in high school and we would mock seriously sing this at drama practice or some shit when someone had a good scene. I gotta say that Curtis has an awesome voice, I just wish he would have picked something a little less dorky to sing. He kills it, but the song has already been killed, so I don't know how much deader it can get. It's getting super preachy in Vegas right now and I'm a little uncomfy haha.

Break time AGAIN and then we're back with Devin Velez. His mom is crazy, kind of, and screams a lot. Devin is wearing a bright red sweater and a bow tie and singing "It's Just Impossible." He is the new Clay Aiken except Hispanic. I mean, really. The tone of their voices is the same and he's kind of geeky and he dresses like a geek. Clay 2.0. He switches into Spanish again partway through the song. He sounds lovely, actually.

Vincent Powell is going to close out the show with some Boyz II Men. I hope it's "I'll Make Love to You" for some super awkward times. Vincent seems fun and likable. He's doing "End of the Road", which I'm sure someone will make an ironic comment about. This song was my jam back in the day. Vincent is really good. I feel like this is the first time I'm seeing him, which can't be true. Maybe I just wasn't paying attention in the Sudden Death! rounds. Keith just got something bleeped, and I don't know what it was. Wow, the judges weren't feeling it. I really liked this, I don't know.

Anyway, so that's the guys! My faves tonight were Elijah, Nick, Lazaro, Cute Paul and Vincent. I'm not sure where America will go with this. I really hope they put poor Charlie out of his misery and send him home. I'll recap tomorrow night's 90 minute (UGH!) results show and after that we'll FINALLY have our top ten!