Reservoir Idol

Ladies & gentlemen, this is Quintin Tarantino, so tonight is going to be bizarre slash awesome. What the hell does Quintin know about music? Who cares. Paula apparently thought tonight was Tribute to Disco Balls Night, and dressed accordingly. So Fox has finally realized that the judges can't be held accountable to SHUT THE HELL UP, and they're only allowing them to judge two at a time. (Note: they STILL run over by two and a half minutes. Why don't we cut out the tribute to Tarantino and instead let Cowell talk? Also, did they get Tarantino's hair for Ben's atrocious wig in the flashbacks last week on Lost?)

Allison kicks it off with "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing," aka most overdone song ever in life. Cookster sang this not even a year ago. There are a zillion songs that Allison could've picked that are better than this one, but oh well. She was what, 5 when this movie came out? Maybe it's a classic for her. It's a subpar performance for my girl, but that said, I'd rather watch her than most of the other contestants tonight. Apparently the judges decide to pick tonight to notice her talent though, which is weird, because last week she was a million times better.

ANOOOOOP is up next doing "Everything I Do (I Do It For You)". Quintin tells him to rough it up, and it's a little scary. Anoop does nothing rough whatsoever, and proceeds to almost crack up in front of him. I'm a little confused by Anoop's jacket tonight. He sounds pretty awesome, but this is another waaaaay too overdone song on this show, so I'm bored by it. OMG, Simon hates not talking. This is hilarious.

Lambert is next, and he's doing "Born to Be Wild," and allegedly adding some kind of "electronic" element. Man, I wish he'd done "Eye of the Tiger." Dude, guyliner is out of control tonight. So, I had been coming around to Lambert in the past few weeks, but this just pushes me back away again. It's so self-indulgent and ridiculous. Yeah, he can perform. I've said that for weeks. But I'm just not into this.

Seriously, they won't let Simon talk, and instead we get Seacrest & Matt on the stools o' Coke for 5 minutes?! Matt is doing "To Really Love a Woman," which I did not know was from a movie. BTW, Quintin is actually a decent mentor, and he's offering some pretty good advice. Sorry, Linds, Matt isn't wearing a fedora tonight. The first part, with just him & the piano, is fantastic, but it gets a little rough at times when the entire band kicked in. I'd still buy a Matt album anyday though. Guys, Simon is being hilarious in the background. He can't not talk.

I literally just stopped fast forwarding through the commercials in order to watch the "Glee" commercial. I am so sad I'll be away when it airs.

Gokey apparently didn't have any glasses to match his blazer tonight, so he's sporting some contacts. He is singing "Endless Love"from "Happy Gilmore." ("What? Friends listen to 'Endless Love' in the dark.") With a harp. I wish I could critique it for you, but I got distracted by the IMDB quote page for "Happy Gilmore." So, instead:

Shooter McGavin: You're in big trouble though, pal. I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast!
Happy Gilmore: [laughing] You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?

Kris gets points for the best song choice tonight, doing "Falling Slowly" from "Once," which won the Oscar for best song last year. Anyone else wondering if this was he and his wife's first dance at their wedding? It starts off a little iffy, but once it hits his higher register, it's just beautiful. It's such a gorgeous song - it's not hard at all, just so pretty. I love it.

Lil closes out the show, and it's a winner already, because she didn't choose a song from "The Bodyguard." Instead, she's doing "The Rose." Is it me, or has Lil just given up? I didn't get much of a fighting vibe from that one. And my DVR cuts off right as Lil and Simon start arguing, so someone is going to have to bring me up to speed on that one.

Tonight was full of mostly mediocre performances of overdone songs. Kris is really the only one who stands out when I'm thinking back, so I'd say almost anyone else (except for probably Danny & Adam) are at risk. Lindsay will take the results show tomorrow, since I'm incapable of paying attention to anything aside from hockey tomorrow. GO PENS!!!!!