It don't mean a thing

Well, faithful readers, you're getting this on Thursday morning because I decided to have some tequila last night. Oops. THIS... is American Idol.

Hey, is that Vanessa Abrams in the audience? Where's Chuck Bass? Ryan introduces the judges, and I've already lost a point in the EW poll because Simon is wearing a white shirt, not black. We get the FORD!!! video right off the bat, something with a hybrid and the world being made of energy, and then we're into the group number. Since I didn't get a chance to comment on last night, let me say it now - Rat Pack music is the best music ever written. They absolutely do not write songs like this anymore. The top 5 tackle "Don't Mean a Thing" and I start having flashbacks to HS show choir... and then they segue into "I Got Rhythm," and I promptly stand up in my living room and start doing the choreography from my junior year musical. Yeah, I'm a dork. You can laugh at me while I go watch GLEEEE.

Next is the reason why these results shows really should be no more than 10 minutes long. We're treated to a video in which the Idols try to make birthday cakes, which ends up in a massive food fight, which is actually kind of amusing because Gokey gets the brunt of it.

We start the results process, and of course they do the 2 people here, 2 people there, & Adam in the middle having to choose. He goes with Allison & Danny, who are actually the safe ones this week, making your bottom 3 Kris, Adam, & Matt. Allison is all "what the heck?" The judges are all "what the heck?" And I'm basically like, duh, we're down to 5 people, and obviously SOMEONE needs to go home.

Natalie Cole performs next, looking stunning as usual. Holy crap, she's 59! (Thank you, Wiki.) When I was a kid, my dad had her "Unforgettable" album, the one where she sang with her dad, and I used to love it. I need to get that one again.

Annnnnnd it's time for the return of the Soul Patrol. As we watch this, I'd like to remind you that this guy won over Chris Daughtry and Elliot Yamin. I watch for about 30 seconds, long enough to remind myself how obnoxious he is, and then it's fast forward city.

Ryan sends Kris back to safety (WOOOO), but since there's still 20 minutes left in this show, of course we won't get any resolution yet. We've got Jamie Foxx instead, doing some terrible hip hop song, because that makes total sense for Rat Pack week.

Finally, it's results time. Adam is safe, meaning Matt is going home for the second time. At least we got a few extra weeks of him. I think his problem was his inconsistency - when he was on, he was awesome, but when he wasn't, he was rough. His rendition tonight was actually much much better than his one on the performance show! Darn it Matt. I'll definitely miss him.

OMG, next week is rock & roll week. WITH SLASH. Hopefully, Allison will kick ass & Gokey will crash & burn. See you then!